"Okay Bones how do you and my son have a spot that I did not know about?" Booth asked me sitting down next to me on the bench.
"Booth your son and I have spent a great deal of time together."
"What? When? Where was I?"
"Well, we first spent time together when you were blown up in my kitchen. Rebecca asked me to watch him while she talked to you."
"What?"
"When I thought you were dead I called Rebecca to see how Parker was doing. I obviously did not know you were still alive and Rebecca asked if I would like to have play dates with Parker. Something about the babysitter being out of town for the week anyway and so she would meet me here with him and we spent the afternoons together."
"Bones why didn't you tell me?"
"It just never came up." I answered truthfully. I had wanted to tell him several times but never knew how to start.
"Do you still spend time together?"
"Um we spent the weekend together but you already knew that."
"No, I mean without me. Do you spend time with Parker without me?"
"Parker calls me every once in a while but since you came back I have only seen him when I was with you."
I watched him sort out his thoughts, "Bones when you thought I was dead why did you call to check on Parker?"
How do I answer that? I needed a part of him to make it through the day. I lost my partner, my best friend, I needed the connection. "I know what it is like to lose a parent." I chose as an answer. It was true, but not really my initial reason for seeking out spending time with Parker.
"I'm sorry you didn't know I was still alive Bones." he said with cloudy eyes.
"Booth…I…I needed Parker and he was great. He never said anything about you dying or still being alive and I didn't say anything either. He asked me what it was like to work with you. I told him…" I saw the look of horror in his eyes, "Booth I didn't tell him anything inappropriate for a six year olds ears." I said smiling. "I had fun spending time with Parker and I think he had fun with me."
Booth and I sat talking about random nothingness until Parker came over and said he was hungry. I stood up and grabbed Parkers hand and we walked, the short way, back to the car.
"How the heck did we get back to the car so fast when it took an hour to get to the pond?"
"That is top secret Daddy, we couldn't just take you to the place the dinosaurs meet the fish." Parker said smiling up at me.
We had pizza for dinner and then dropped Parker off at Rebecca's. The ride back to Booth's apartment seemed to take forever, neither of us said much other than commenting on other peoples driving or the song on the radio. Finally I got up the nerve to ask, "Booth are you going to be okay tonight?"
I knew he did not really want to talk about it but he needed to. I needed to. I liked staying with him, being able to help him, to spend time with his son.
Right after I asked the question he pulled the car into an empty parking lot. I looked into his eyes and they had filled with tears. "I don't know Bones." He answered.
My heart broke, for him to admit that he didn't know, that he was in fact scared of something, scared to sleep, of being alone at night. "Do you want to talk about it?" I asked taking his hand in mine. He nodded but did not say anything. "Booth do you want to go home to talk about it or do you want to talk about it now?" I asked him gently.
"Home." He answered wiping his eyes and getting back on the road. Neither of us said anything until we had parked, gotten out of the car, walked into his house, and changed into sweats.
"I like how you look wearing my sweats." He said smiling and pulling me down next to him on the couch. "You actually look relaxed. It is nice to see." He said quietly before staring at his hands.
I was not sure if he was embarrassed for admitting that he liked how I looked or if he was thinking about what we were going to talk about.
"When I thought you were killed I came over here. I spent the night here a couple of nights." I admitted quietly. "I needed you. I couldn't talk to Angela. I needed to talk to you but you were the one person I couldn't talk to."
"That is why you spent time with Parker, and came over here." He said putting his hand on mine.
"The things I have been through are different than those that you have but they make me who I am and they make you who you are and I don't know…somehow it just works. Two adults who are equally messed up…it just works."
"I blame myself Bones. For my friends dying. I know that I was not the one that ran the airplane into the tower but I blame myself because I told them to stay in the room and just wait when I could have told them to get out. Then I just watched the tower burn and I tried to help as many people get out as I could before they told us to run because the tower was falling down. As soon as they let me I ran back in and helped dig through and pull people out. I was hoping that my friends somehow survived but we never found them…well they found parts of them weeks later…" He said flopping himself against the back of the couch.
I leaned into the back of the couch and let my head rest next to his, "Its hard. My roommate in college died in the tower. She called me after the plane hit. Said she could see people jumping out the windows below her and having them just disappear into the smoke. I was on the phone with her when the tower collapsed, I could hear the screaming and then nothing, the phone was still connected but no one answered, no more screaming, just silence."
"I helped pull bodies, and body parts out for a week. Then on the day my Army contract ran up I went in and turned in all my gear and drove over to Cam's and told her I was leaving."
"I helped identify bodies and body parts for months. Every weekend I drove up to New York to help. I had to find Shelby. I knew she was there somewhere. When I finally found her I finished the weekend and that was it. Once I found her I couldn't do it anymore and I went back to the bodies in limbo. They didn't have families crying for them anymore. It was easier."
"I joined the FBI in Philadelphia. I ran into Rebecca my second week at home, we were friends in high school and we got involved, that is when she got pregnant with Parker. I was there for two months before transferring to DC to go with her when her job moved. She said she didn't want to marry me but I still had to be close to my child. I worked my way up in DC pretty fast. I never kept partners for very long. I liked working by myself. I couldn't have a partner, not after losing all of my partners in the attacks."
"The FBI started asking for help identifying their bodies. They heard about what I did in New York and wanted me to do the same thing."
"Bones how is it that we went from hating working together to being here?" he asked me.
"You taught me what it meant to work with other people. That there was something outside the lab."
"You showed me who I was. You didn't make me feel like I was evil for the things I did. You accepted me for who I am." He said leaning his head over and resting it on my shoulder. I sat there for a minute before leaning my head against his.
We cried together that night, for the things we have been through, for the things we saw, for the friends we lost, for the things we knew we would see when we went back to work. We sat there on his couch leaning into each other until the sun began to rise outside the window.
"Bones I am going to call in sick for you for the week."
"I will call in for you." I told him with a sad smile.
"Director Cullen, this is Dr. Brennan…Agent Booth is going to be out this week."
"Cam, Bones is going to be out this week."
"Yes Sir, no sir, everything will be fine."
"Cam you know why. We will be back Friday."
"Thank you Sir, we will see you Thursday. He will be back at work on Friday."
"Thanks Cam."
"Thank you Sir. I will."
"Bones will you go with me to see their families?" He asked me quietly.
"If you will go with me to visit Shelby's husband and daughter." I answered.