A/N: So when Bob came out, I was pissed. No Cody. But then Khali came out, and all was right with the world. I never laughed so hard in my life. That was funnier than the Carlito Wrestlemania commercial. That was better than Santino stealing King's sandwich. I cried. I rolled on the floor. I sounded like an evil maniacal scientist. It was great. But then Cena tainted the only Cody moment I had. God damn. Yet another thing John Cena has ruined.

Wow. That was seriously the strangest time I've ever had sitting through a SmackDown taping, and I've sat through some pretty entertaining tapings. Like there was that one time when me and John Morrison…

I shouldn't repeat that. We might get fired if I even mutter that.

Okay, let's just say that it had to do with Hornswoggle, a pack of pre-shredded mozzarella cheese, a quarter, and John Morrison's abs.

Does that make me sound gay?

Maybe if I wasn't going to wear pants, then it would be gay.

Okay, I'm done talking now. I don't want creative to have a field day and try to turn Morrison and I into the modern day Billy and Chuck.

I don't think that Colt Cabana would ever let me live that down.

Alana seemed to enjoy sitting backstage with everyone. Victoria came and hung out with us since she got voted off of that totally rigged Diva contest. We all know that Michelle is going to win. It's no surprise.

What a waste of air time.

After the taping was finally over, Edge and Victoria met us at a club.

Yes, CM Punk was in a club.

I do not dance. It's a good thing that I don't drink. I can't even imagine me dancing while drunk. I'm sure I'd kill a blue haired alcoholic lady in the process. I can't even do the Macarena. Brazilian jujitsu totally ruined all rhythmic coordination. I'm lucky if I can even clap my hands along with a song.

Okay, maybe I over exaggerated that last part a bit. I do a lovely cabbage patch, and Shelton Benjamin tried teaching me the two step once. Yeah, that turned out great.

"Alana, do you want anything to drink?"

"Do you seriously think that you should be asking the girl that's in rehab if she'd like a drink?" Ooh, didn't think of that one.

"Well, if you don't mind me asking…Is that even what you are in rehab for?"

She smiled at me and ordered a ginger ale. "No."

I shrugged and just said, "Cool." It's not my place to ask. I know she's got a sour side, and I'm not about to set that off. We're going to have a good time if it kills me.

And knowing Edge, it probably will.

How the fuck did I end up here?

No, I did not drink. It wasn't like I couldn't remember because I was drunk.

I actually fell asleep at the bar of the club. Good thing Batista wasn't there. I might have been kidnapped and…I don't want to think about that.

But hey, can you really blame me for falling asleep? Clubs aren't really my scene, and I was tired! I worked a damn hard match.

But seriously, how did I get here? I just woke up in the bed of my hotel room. That's a good sign.

But Alana's lying next to me, and that is not a good sign.

Uh-oh.

"Alana! Wake up!" I tried shaking her awake, but it didn't work.

Oh no. I wasn't awake to supervise. I left her in a club with alcohol. Oh no.

Wait, she said she wasn't addicted to alcohol. Phew.

Oh no.

I LEFT HER ALONE WITH EDGE!

"Oh fuck," I sighed. Then Alana woke up. "How is it possible that you didn't wake up when I shook you, but you woke up when I whispered?"

"I was awake when you shook me. I'm just a good actress," she said. Uh, is she not fazed that we just woke up like this? Granted, we're both still fully clothed from the night before, but I've heard stranger stories.

"So you're not really worried about just waking up like this? What the hell?" I was freaking out like a fat chick that didn't get asked to prom. Wow, I've become extremely pathetic.

She looked at me as if she was trying to hold in a really big laugh. Too late. She let it out.

"What's so funny? I don't find this to be extremely humorous, Alana."

"Did you know that you are a very heavy sleeper? I could have had my way with you, but I thought you were rather cute while you were sleeping," she joked.

"That's fantastic, but how did I end up like this?"

"Well, you fell asleep while you were at the bar. We tried waking you up, but we thought you just like passed out for real. Edge checked to see if you were still breathing, but then you started moaning something about John Morrison. It was kind of strange. So he and Victoria carried you to the car and I drove you back here. I followed them back here and we had to sneak you in from one of the side doors. We didn't want the head desk getting suspicious. Luckily, it was late enough where no people were still up and about. I fished your room key out of your pocket and they carried you up here. And here we are."

"But don't you need to get back to the clinic?"

"Probably, but we should probably wait until a bit later. Maybe Phyllis will be a bit less upset about this if we get back at a more reasonable time."

"Why, what time is it?" I asked, and she shrugged. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and saw that it was nine in the morning. "What time are you guys open for visitors? That's probably when I should bring you back."

"Uh, I think one."

"We'll wait until then."

"Punk?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you." She rolled over and put her arm around me. I think she was trying to hug me.

Wow, I have a hot chick in bed with me, and she's hugging me.

But I'm not taking advantage of it. I don't want her to go all Godzilla on me.

A/N: For once, I am glad I watched ECW.

Anyone who saw it knows why.

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