..Chapter Nine..
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The evening was late. The sky was dark. Stars danced about in the heavens like small specs with far too much importance and no time to consider those who admired them. People moved about town dressed in varying clothing; from the small child in his mother's swathing all the way up to the perfectly suited ANBU or Jounin in their armor.
One person stood moving through the lingering crowds. Her pace wasn't quick and it wasn't slow. It was the easy pace of a woman who'd seen and done her fair share of war over the many years. Her hair was tied back at the base of her neck in a band. Her mask was gone and would be for a while. And yet, the same ANBU uniform remained.
She had a kind face. A face that many might mistake for being that of a mother or a good friend. She was one of those and could easily be the other. However, within this body was the desire, the determination and the inherit strength to do whatever was needed in times of the upmost need.
She had watched her friends die. She had seen her family, those younger than her, go before their time and long before her own. A good shinobi was not the one who always did what was assigned. A good shinobi was the one who did what was needed; what was right. He had taught her that.
She still recalled her tears as she held the hand of a man far greater than her or any other after himself. He hadn't been the most skilled. He'd never been the coldest. And he had not once been the machine Kakashi was long ago. Though, he had been a good friend.
He'd loved her and she'd never seen that; or rather, never wanted to. No, she'd been too busy keeping her eyes on another man... A man who's name she'd taken and was detrimentally close too. And yet, through the years, despite how much they cared for one another, a gap had seemed to grow. Obito had told him to take care of her. And when he'd asked her for her hand, she'd thought, perhaps despite all the bad blood, he really did love her.
It was not to be, though.
When she found out the real reasoning behind the question, she'd become furious. She'd become angry at him and left, taking mission after mission in an attempt to get him from her thoughts. By technicality they were still married, but, by truth they were not in any sense of the word physically or emotionally. They never had been.
She hated that he wanted her because of a vow he made. She hated that he thought she was some kind of charity case to look after because of Obito's death.
Time had passed though. And after a while of chasing down rogue ninja or doing hard tasks in the field she'd finally come home for a while. She'd been gone, what... over nineteen years at least. She'd lost count after a while. Pain did that to you. Memories and age did that to you.
She'd met with Naruto, the Hokage. She'd heard the rumors, but, she'd only taken missions through her team mates and avoided seeing him because she worried she might see Kakashi again. And when she'd asked him for the change in station, she been overwhelmed by the grin he gave her. She couldn't of helped but have a sudden flashback to a young Uchiha she'd known so well. Had it been that hard on Kakashi to look at him? To forget the resemblance the boy held not only to Obito but to the Fourth as well?
To her it was like a double strike to the gut.
He gladly gave her the new Jounin teacher position saying she would be assigned to a good team very soon. And then to have his daughter placed on her team, well, she had to wonder if it had been his doing. She doubted it, but, the Hokage wasn't as stupid as some people use to make him out to be. No one did that anymore.
She glanced about her, still lost in thought and wondering whether she would go home, or try to wind her day down in a bar with a few sips of saki.
Her new team was good, she'd give them that. They were brash and fresh, but they had potential. All Genin did when they started out.
Rei, for one, seemed to be a shadow user like her father. She had somehow obtained a bloodline technique known only to Yamato and the First. Her thoughts were quick and sharp. She could easily keep her head in a difficult situation. She wouldn't say she was as smart as her father, but she made up for that in her own unique way. In some way, she seemed almost out of place in the three man group. She didn't appear overly excited about the prospect nor overly upset. If anything, she seemed indifferent. And yet... there had been those small moments, like when she wanted to be the one to leave that she obviously cared for her friends and put them first.
Ryuunosuke, or, Ryu for short. He had way too much time on his hands. The kid was obviously in love with Kei. He was brash and rough around the edges. He was cocky, but, he didn't always talk like it. He could be reserved, but only if he chose to. His fighting style was that of both a Hyuuga style and taijutsu style she'd only seen Gai or Lee use. His stances were tight in all the right places much like your normal Byakugan user would utilize for taking down chakra points. On another note, he was lazy about his movements too. Sometimes he seemed to be slouching in his tight stance; relaxed. It almost reminded her of drunken master style.
Then you had Kei. She wasn't quite sure what to make of the girl. She had all the antics and joy that her father had shown in his youth. She was just as adorable and just as cocky. Though, she wasn't as big of a 'dive into any situation' type of individual as well; like he had been at her age without thinking. She tried to cover her quick whit and sharp calculating mind with a big grin or a quick smile. She tried to act like she was a doof for attention maybe. But, the girl thought things through and then reacted everytime. She always only tested her boundaries enough to see what you were going to do. And during the fight sometimes, she got a look on her face that looked nothing like Hinata or Naruto.
Rin gave another quick sweep of the area she was passing through and noted a small bar with the light on. She really wanted to be alone tonight. She supposed instead of going home she could buy a bottle of saki and just go somewhere else. No one would be about the training areas tonight. It seemed like a good enough plan.
After a moment she exited the the small bar with a bag in her hand and began to head towards the training areas. Sure enough, just as she suspected, everyone was gone. She continued on until she made it to the same one she'd gained her newest team at. As she moved towards the waters edge she noted someone was already there. Someone that made her stop dead in her tracks.
She continued to look at his back from about twelve feet away. She certainly didn't want to alert him to her presence. Although, part of her was afraid he's already detected her. He'd always been good at that. But, she still wasn't that girl anymore.
She turned and started to walk away.
"Don't leave on my account," he stated and she stopped.
She didn't move. She'd spent many years avoiding him. Walking away from him. If she passed him in town she never said a word because her mask was normally on. She knew he knew it was her. And for whatever reason, he'd been kind enough or too scared to say anything about it when she did happen to pass through on her way to or from a mission. When she'd known him as a girl, on the same team with Obito, she'd loved him. She'd wanted him to take notice of her and he never did. He'd always been so crass to her. So cold. He'd probably always thought she was useless then.
She turned around and looked with the brown bag still in her hand. He hadn't turned to face her, sitting on the water's edge with his legs crossed as he stared out.
"I heard you got your new team today."
She arched a brow. He was trying to start a conversation with her? She weighed the option of turning tail and going. Instead, she moved forward for whatever reason, and sat next to him. "I did." She supposed she would have to face him eventually. Now was better than later it seemed.
He nodded and stared out still. He hadn't expected her to come home for good. When he'd been told, it came as something of a shock. The only time she ever came home was to get a new mission to go somewhere else. Somewhere away from him.
"Drinking alone?" His voice was even.
She looked down at her bottle of saki in front of her. She reached for it and began to pull the cork. It made a resounding 'pop' as she pulled it free. The bag was removed and she just sorta stared at it in her hand. "Yes." A pause. "They're good kids."
He glanced over at her with his one good eye and only slightly.
She looked back a moment too. But, as soon as the contact was made it was quickly broken again. "My new team. You asked about them."
He laced his fingers together in front of him as he rested his elbows on his knees to either side of him. "I know. I was the one to review the teams."
So, she still couldn't be rid of him it seemed. Even now, he'd had a hand in choosing her team. Had he hand picked them all? Right down to Kei? And if so, had he sent them to her because of her abilities... or because he was trying to go easy on her? She doubted it was the second but it couldn't be the first.
"I'm surprised you requested the job."
She looked down at her bottle once more. After a moment of careful consideration she lifted it and took a swig. When she finally released it she found him reaching for it. She wasn't sure why, but, she let him have it. "It was time to come home." To you.
He took a long swig as well. "You were very busy. I was worried about you."
She narrowed her eyes on him. And even though he wasn't looking at her she tried to ascertain as to whether or not he was worried about her because he cared about her... or because he'd made that vow to Obito. He handed the bottle back and she took another swig. "I can take of myself."
"I know."
Then why did you marry me? She wanted to ask.
"I kept an eye on your for while... To make sure."
She felt ire growing in her chest. She felt angry at him again. He'd kept an eye on her? "Because of your vow." She found herself muttering as she stared out into the river.
"Because I care about you." He looked over at her, something flashing in his one good eye. But then, he turned back just as fast. Like looking at her reminded him of too many painful me memories.
"Don't lie to me...!" She whispered harshly and took another swig. "You and I both know the truth, Kakashi. Don't insult our relationship by lying to me."
He sighed long and hard, but didn't move. He knew this was coming. It'd been inevitable. Just as it had been the day she found out the truth. Or what could have been the truth. "I'm sorry," he said softly.
She handed him the bottle. It took a moment, another glance, and then he was taking it. Why was he apologizing? Was he apologizing for marrying her? For lying to her? No, that wasn't right. He'd never lied to her about loving her. He'd never actually said whether he did or not. "For?" She kept her gaze on the river.
"For not being what you needed."
She wasn't sure about that answer. Even from him. He'd always been so calculating. So careful. So down right mysterious even. Even when he'd asked her to marry him he'd been so... down right enigmatic about it that she didn't know what to make of him or the question. But, she'd assumed he was just being himself. And she loved him for that.
Correction. Had.
"I never needed you, Kakashi. I wanted you. There is a difference."
And then he looked at her again, this time their gazes held for a while. His eyes seemed unsure about something. Nervous even. His mind had always been a jumble of thoughts and processes. It's what made him such a good ninja.
"I didn't know." Was all he said and then turned back.
It was her turn to sigh as she grabbed the bottle again. "Didn't know what? That I loved you?" She watched as he tensed up, as if being hit before she took another sip.
The silence seemed to pass like a huge gap between them. The only sounds were the rushing water, the night wind and the birds in the distance as an animal upset their sleep.
"You don't anymore?"
"Why, does it matter anymore?" She moved to drink again, but he stopped her. He was right there. Right next to her. His thigh was brushing hers. His fingers and arms grazing her own fingers and her own arm. His face was close, but not so close she couldn't keep her senses about her. She wasn't that girl anymore. Not for him.
And when he spoke, it was with hushed urgency as he kept and held her gaze. "You're my wife."
Her eyes narrowed with deadly intent. What was his game? He'd thrown down the stick long ago when she found out the truth. She'd given him the easy out and left. He should want to care anymore. "Only in name. You don't own me, Kakashi. I'm not your concubine. I'm your equal." And then she was pulling her arm away from his grasp, drinking again. He took it again and set it down on the ground with a slam, forcing another narrowed gaze from her.
"I made a promise, Rin." It's like he didn't know what else to say.
Her lips twitched. "Your vow. To Obito. I don't want your charity, Kakashi. I don't need it. When I married you it was because I loved you. Not because I felt like it was the only way to protect you."
"I know that." Damn did he ever. It had been only natural for him to do so though. When he'd first been given Team Seven he'd made it a point to protect them all. He'd married Rin because... because it seemed to only logical choice. As his wife he would naturally know what was going on in her life more than anyone aside from herself and the Hokage. He just hadn't planned on it backfiring.
"Then quit doing this," she whispered. "Quit following my every move and tracing my every step. Let me go, Kakashi. I'm not longer your burden. I'm no longer anyone's burden." She suddenly felt tears coming and hated herself. She had cried many times since that night and usually only on his anniversary. When she did, it was alone and quietly. No one would hear her.
Kakashi had his gaze down, taking in her words and considering them. He just couldn't find the will to do so. Maybe it was about his vow to his dead friend. Maybe it was about Team Seven. Maybe it was even about his own regrets and guilty feelings. He suddenly saw a damp spot on the ground next to him and looked up. His one good eye went wide a moment as he took her in. He hadn't even heard her. He wasn't sure what to do.
He'd never been a touchy feely sort of person. And he'd never been the sort to seek out anyone for comfort. Some things just didn't die when you 'went soft' as some of the ANBU called what he did after Obito. He wasn't sure it he should reach for her or pat her on the shoulder. She was his wife and he's never really touched her before. It was almost sad if you thought about it more.
But, the need was there. He spread his legs around her and pulled her to his chest as she cried into his neck. Her body shook and she wadded up into the fetal position. She'd grown so much since that day. He could feel the strength of her body against his own. He could taste her scent on his tongue. With all these thoughts plaguing his mind he tried to will them away. Doing so would only hurt her more than he'd already done. He silently hated himself for that. First by being irresponsible with Obito... and then utterly failing to make her happy. He was sure, even now, she was crying because of him.
"Tell me what to do," he found himself saying. "Tell me what you want and I'll give it to you."
And then he found her sitting up, inches away from his face and looking at him with tear stained depths. They rippled with emotions. With grief... sadness... regret... and want. He found her reaching upward. He found her fingers grazing the top of his mask and he sharply inhaled. Out of fear and nothing else he grabbed her wrists. It had been instinct. And he was shocked to find how much it cut at him. How scared he was in just that moment. His vulnerability as plain as the marks on her face.
She was whispering again. "I want this."
He felt like he heard a please hanging in the air. Her voice had been strong as she stated it, but also desperate for something. He continued to hold her wrists, thinking as he stared into her eyes. Slowly... he let go, his fingers gently running down her arms for only a moment until they landed back next to him.
She was starting to pull it down. It was slow. She could of just pulled it off. But, there was still something in her eyes as she kept his gaze. When it was finally removed he realized just how naked her felt before her. He'd never shown his face to anyone. He didn't have any crude scars besides the obvious. He didn't have any sort of deformity on his features that he needed to hide. He supposed he'd gone so long wearing it that not wearing scared him a bit. It was silly, and he knew it, but at the moment he felt more than bare to her than he would were he naked with nothing but his mask.
She seemed to be staring at him with curious fascination and he didn't know what to make of it. And then her hands were reaching up again, tender hands placed on his cheeks as she caressed either side. Both thumbs moved down as she read his every feature. Every line, every mark and every dimple.
And then she found his gaze again. "Do you want me? Did you ever?"
What was he suppose to say to her? He felt his heart crushing and didn't understand why. "I want you to be happy." There was a pause but she wasn't saying anything it seemed...
She felt tears coming again but pushed them down. "I want you to want me as badly as I want you. Why is that so hard for you? I'm not even asking for love this time."
"... I've never wanted anyone, Rin. Much of my life was spent with my team or dedicated to the mission. After I married you, I still didn't seek anyone out." A pause. "It's not that I couldn't have. I just never did. Even if I thought about it... I made a vow to you when we both stood together on that day." The day he married her.
As she started to listen to him she became confused. How could he not want anyone? Was he a bloody monk? And then as he continued realization slowly began to dawn on her and everything made sense. It's not that he didn't love her. It's not even that might not desire her. Even if he did, he had no idea of how to go about it. He'd been too much of a machine in his youth to care about women, much less her. He'd been too into creating his career.
Hatake Kakashi had never been with a woman...
She stared at his features some more. He'd married her to forfill his vow the only was he knew best. He tried to show he cared about her the only way he knew he could. And he never consummated their married because he probably didn't know if it's what she wanted from him and didn't wish to upset her since... well perhaps because Obito's death had not happened long after they did tie the knot.
She stared at his lips. "Kakashi..."
"Hm..?"
She looked to his one good eye. "Can I kiss you?"
He looked uncomfortable for a moment, but, after a second or two nodded.
She leaned forward then, hands still holding his cheeks, and pressed her lips into his own. Her lashes shut softly and her lips moved to a slant. And then she felt him open for her. She felt strong arms come around her and pull her tightly to his body. Well, if he had never done it before he sure as hell still seemed to know what he was doing. Because, the man was making mush of her mouth with the way his tongue moved.
Her fingers wound their way through his hair as she tried to avoid the headband wrapped about his head. Heat flooded through her system and she jumped as she felt his hands on her ass, situating her so her legs straddled him with her crotch up against his own. She no longer had any doubts about whether he wanted her or not.
"Kakashi," she breathed and broke apart for a moment as he pushed her into his straining erection covered only by fabric.
He was panting as heavily as her, digging his hands into her hair after sliding up her neck. His voice was deep and longing as he spoke. "I want you. Now."
She felt joy rushing through her body and warming in her gut. He wanted her. He said it. Kami, if she'd known all it took was kissing him and straddling his lap she would have done that long ago. She gasped again as he impatiently shoved her into his hips again, as if to emphasize his point more clearly.
And then they were undressing and a rapidly quick pace. Clothes were thrown in numerous places. Weapons tossed to the ground. At some point, Kakashi even thought he heard a rip, but, ignored it wisely.
And then he was on top of her, bracing himself as he teased her entrance and gazed into her eyes. "Are you sure?" He hadn't been until that moment her lips met his. But, he still needed to make sure. Once they crossed this bridge there was no going back. Not that avoiding each other was anything to go back to.
Her reply was to grab his buttocks, dig her nails into it and shove him harshly into her. He cried out at the same time she did, gasping. It warm, tight and hot as hell. Nothing remotely like his hand a good porn mag late in the night. He looked down at her again, and found himself happy to see her looking so elated, so... beautiful... He'd finally managed to make her happy. It was enough. For now. Later he might want more.
He began to move and she met his pace. It wasn't long after he felt her insides clenching around him, heard her cry of pleasure and saw her face contort because of him. Because he had done that to her. He gasped himself, pulling out just in time as he spilled himself all over her stomach.
After they both caught their breath, he leaned down, gently kissing her lips. "Don't leave me again," he pleaded in an almost ordering tone. But, just in case he sounded too harsh... he added... "...please."
"I won't" And then she was kissing him all over again.
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Author's Note: Thanks for all the reviews! I wish there were more, but, I know a lot of you are favoriteing this and might be too busy. For those of you not reviewing... thank you for reading anyway. If you have any questions, please ask and I'll reply ASAP. If you have any ideas, I'll consider them. If their good enough, I'll put them in the story.
Kattylin, thank you for all your reviews! And yes, I found all those parts very funny as well! I still laugh at it when I read back through her mocking of the monument. I still haven't figured out which chapter I like more. That one or the first one.
Dominiqueanne, thank you for your reviews as well. You'll be seeing more and more of Sakura and Sasuke in later chapters. For now, I'm trying to get you more connected with the current characters. I know the main couple is a big part of this story, but, so is their daughter.
Now, in case your wondering about that chapter. Well, to be honest, I just couldn't help myself. I read about Rin and just got this wild hair up my ass to do this after reading another fic about them. Next chapter will have some more Team Rin action. Keep reading and please review!