AN: This chapter is even sillier than the first. I warn you...if you are offended by angels seeking the anal virginity of heterosexuals in doubt, do NOT read further. If, however, this idea excites you like it does me, please continue and enjoy. ;)

The rest of the evening was hell on the three of them. Dean spent the majority of it on the edge of his and Castiel's bed watching Wheel of Fortune with a beer in his hand shouting out very far off answers and everywhere Sam turned, Castiel was there with his lips practically already puckered.

"Look, Castiel." Sam reasoned as he emerged from the bathroom to meet with a 5'6" angel with personal space perception problems. "I'm sure women...and a certain demographic of men...find you very attractive, but I am categorized in neither of those populations. So...if you don't mind..." He pushed past him and went to take a seat on his own bed to whoop Dean's ass at guessing the phrases.

"It's just a kiss, Sam." Cas huffed.

"Yeah. A kiss that determines the longevity of my older brother's anal virginity. I'll say it again; I would like no part in the making of that decision. Besides...I thought sodomy was wrong."

"God had nothing to do with the legislation of the Blue Laws and half of the stuff in the bible is just filler. You think the apostles -who were drunk on wine half the time, mind you- really had the ability to memorize everything God ever told them and accurately scribe it away into their notes?"

"No, I guess not. Still."

"I love your brother very much, Sam. What we're doing, or planning to do...it isn't wrong."

"Oh, you love him so much? You sure do show it funny, compromising his values like this."

Dean decided to keep quiet for a few more seconds. He wanted to see where this was going.

"He's the one who wanted to have sex in the first place! You think I don't have a right to my own...er...Mark's anal virginity?"

"What're you saying, Cas?" Dean finally jumped in. "You mean that guy's still conscious? I've been making out with a real GUY?"

"It's not like he didn't consent to it before I took him, Dean. I had to make sure that whatever body I was using was agreed to everything I planned to use it for. He knew about us even before I first came to you."

"He agreed to let you use his body to fight in an apocalyptic war and sodomize my brother?"

"He had some qualms with the war part since he's by nature a very peaceful man, but once he first saw Dean on the night I was summoned, he was more than willing to let me use him however I saw fit."

"Well that's very flattering and all." Dean said. "But I wish you would've made me aware of the fact that I'm going to be gang-banged."

"What-banged?" Castiel asked, clearly puzzled.

"Never mind." Sam said. "Point is...you're here to help Dean, not bust slime with him."

"The kissing is an important part of the bond."

"So let him take it further like he wants. But don't involve me. I don't WANT to be involved."

Castiel slid onto Sam's bed behind him.

"I don't want to damage what we have by moving too quickly."

"And ass-fucking him against his will isn't moving too quickly for you?"

"Sam, look at me."

Sam turned on the bed and before he knew it, his lips were brushing against the angel's.

"YOU BASTARD!" He wiped at his mouth.

"I won!" Castiel cried triumphantly.

"Oh, hell no!" Dean said, standing up from his own bed and throwing the empty beer bottle down onto it. "That was not a consensual kiss, so you do NOT win!"

"We never negotiated consent." Castiel grinned. "Face it, Dean. You lost."

"I'm not letting you do it." The older Winchester crossed his arms over his chest. "It's not happening."

"Yo." Sam reminded them of his existence. "Just molested by an angel, here!" He pointed to himself.

"Sam, I've got bigger things on my mind right now."

"Much bigger, if I may throw in a good word for Mark." Castiel added.

"You are so not helping." Snapped both Winchesters.

"Dean, you shook on it."

"But did I bleed on it? No. It's not finalized, and the only witness we have is my little brother who I'm pretty sure would rather not know what goes on in our side of the motel room."

"Aw, jeez, you guys weren't even planning on getting a separate room?" Sam groaned, going back to his spot at the small motel room table and opening his laptop once more in hopes of finally accomplishing something and maybe drowning out the other two.

"Why should we? This one has two beds."

"Castiel...I'm not having sex with you while my brother is only three feet away."

"Thank you, Dean."

The angel shrugged. It seemed efficient enough to him.

"We'll get our own room, then." Castiel stood from the bed and began slipping his shoes back on from earlier when they'd flown off in the tickle-fest. "Would you accompany me, Dean?"

"No, Cas. I will not accompany you." His angel impressions only got worse and worse, it seemed. "I'm not going anywhere alone with you until you annul the deal."

"I'm not going to rape you, Dean." Castiel seemed to be shocked at the implied accusation.

"Yeah, well, this way I know for sure."

Castiel pouted, but it was futile. It wasn't that Dean really didn't trust him, it was that he wanted to teach him a lesson.

"Fine. The deal is annulled. But if you think I'm going to bed with you any time soon now, you're dead wrong."

"Yeah, 'cause I want to go to bed with a virginity-stealing ass-bandit angel."

Castiel glared at him and Dean glared right back.

"Sam, Cas is bunking with you tonight." Dean said, challenging eyes never leaving the angel's.

"What? No way. He already mouth-raped me today."

"He won't try anything funny." Dean assured. "Because if he does, I will never speak to him again."

"Don't have to worry about it, Dean." Castiel snarled. "Your brother has legs like a crocodile."

"Well like species attract."

"Well he gets it from your mother."

"Well your mother eats donkey butt."

"And your mother-"

"You guys...cut it out. Castiel can stay in my bed, but for the love of God, shut the fuck up." Sam expected to hear some sort of wise-ass retort, but when all he heard was the rustling of clothes, he looked up from the screen of his computer to see the two rolling on the floor in each other's arms. They were not making out, however, but pulling fistfuls of each other's hair and attempting to tear each other's flesh off. "Hey hey!" He closed the computer and went to attempt to break them up. Diving in, he had not thought about any repercussions, but as it turned out, Castiel could throw as mean a punch as Dean and Sam ever could. Eventually, Dean came away with a split lip, Sam with a black eye and a finger-nail gash on his cheek, and Castiel unmarked. Lucky bastard healed quick, Dean told himself. He refused to believe that he'd gotten into a scuff with someone who had eluded all of his blows somehow. The only evidence of the fight that Castiel showed was his tussled hair and wrinkled clothes. But both had looked essentially the same before Dean had jumped on him.

The three of them stood, nostrils flaring and breath heaving as they managed to regain themselves.

"Alright." Sam, the voice of reason, eventually spoke up. "The two of you are going to have to stop this. If you can't control yourselves from trying to beat the shit out of each other, than maybe you shouldn't be together at all."

"It's not that..." Dean said.

"No.." Castiel echoed simultaneously.

They both looked at each other for a brief millisecond before turning their glances away again, color creeping into their cheeks. Sam noted that it was a little endearing to see an angel blush.

"I think you two should make peace." Sam said, taking into account the obvious love the two felt for one another. They wouldn't be so ashamed if it weren't for that.

Neither of them budged.

"One of you is going to have to say it first." Coaxed the youngest Winchester.

"Fine." Castiel caved. "I'm sorry, Dean. I'm sorry I argued with you, I'm sorry I raised the stakes too high, and...I'm sorry I messed up your face." He only looked at him on the last part of the sentence, but only to reassess and revel in the damage he'd inflicted.

"Yeah, well I'm not apologizing because I didn't do anything wrong. And you didn't apologize for what you said about my mom."

"Yeah, you're right." Castiel sighed. "That was in poor taste. I'm sorry."

"Yeah..." Dean averted his eyes once more. "Me too, I guess."

"Good." Sam smiled at them as reinforcement. "Now hug."

The both of them grumbled and picked a wall to stare at as opposed to falling in line with Sam's orders.

"I said hug."

"Fine." Dean snarled.

"Fine." Cas snarled back.

They crept close to one another and sort of just...looked awkwardly at the other's feet before Dean finally put his arms around the smaller figure of the angel and, in turn, was enveloped himself.

"Now, don't we all feel better?" The youngest Winchester smirked.

"Sure, but if you don't stop with the marriage counselor bullshit, I'm going to sick Cas on you." Dean pulled back from the hug and looked down at the silent angel. "Dude...you fight like a girl."

"What do you expect? I'm in the body of a gay man."

To be continued...

After Notes: Yeah. I don't know. Just gets crazier and crazier. I have no clue what the next chapter's going to be like, but I doubt it will be any more tasteful. Lol. Thanks for reading.