Chapter 8:
Sorry this one took so long. Business school is a drag and a half. For the next couple of weeks it'll probably be the same way, maybe a chapter a week if I'm lucky.
I loved how many people left comments for the last chapter. I appreciate any kind of feedback, critical or not. I also want to add that I noticed a lot of you seemed a little pissed about Tommy and Sadie being together right now. Well, all I have to say is…don't worry.
Chapter 8: Bigmouth Strikes Again
Tommy was patiently—or at least what he thought was patient—waiting in Studio A for Jude. Her school had let out about 20 minutes ago, which meant she should be arriving at GMajor any minute. He hoped that sometime during tonight's session he might be able to finagle a confession out of Jude regarding this morning's ambiguous conversation.
Jude finally sauntered into the studio, clumsily threw her backpack on the chair Tommy currently occupied, and made a start for the sound booth. She stopped in her tracks when she heard the oafish grunt that sounded from Tommy's mouth and feigned being concern for him. "Oh, I'm sorry, Tommy. I didn't even see you there. How awful of me."
"Relax, Harrison. No harm done. To be truthfully, the reason you couldn't see me was because I had my invisibility cloak on. I find myself very into 'stealth' these days."
Jude rolled her eyes. "I bet." She reached for her backpack, which was thrown onto the floor by Tommy, and gave it a new home on the nearby couch. "So, I have a new song that I want to work on today."
Tommy looked at Jude curiously. "Okay, but we have a couple other songs that need some final touches. Maybe we should finish those up first."
"But I feel really inspired today, and this song fits my mood perfectly. If I lose my music 'muse' before this song is finished…then the song might possibly live an unrefined and dreary life." Jude grabbed her notebook, along with the studio's guitar, and sat in the chair neighboring Tommy. She flipped to the page she desired. "Okay, so I'm warning you before hand that it's really rough, considering it was written today during history but…"
"Wait. History? Didn't you have an exam in that class today?"
Jude was annoyed by Tommy's fatherly tone. "Don't worry, Pops. I'm not a nitwit. I finished the test early because it was exceptionally easy, and then I just started thinking these lyrics in my head. So shut up and listen." Jude began strumming the guitar.
If I don't cry, do you think I don't feel?
If I look away
It doesn't mean I don't see
And just because I want, someone when I'm alone
Doesn't mean I'm helpless, and that I can't stand on my own
How far can we go before we break
How long can I wait
How strong do you think I am
How much can I take of this
Am I a rock or a rose or a fist
Or the breath at the end of a kiss
How deep do you wanna go
Cause I'll go there if I can
You make it harder than it has to be
How strong, how strong
Do you think I am
It's so hard to tell
What's in your heart
What you keep to yourself
Is tearing me apart
And should I be afraid
To dream about you
And if you feel the same
Whachya gonna do
"And then it would go into another bridge, followed by the chorus, blah blah blah, you get the idea. The only thing I'm having trouble with is a good hook to place at the end. I have the two verses and a strong chorus, but I feel like it needs a little something extra. What do you think?"
Tommy had been staring at Jude deep in thought ever since he first heard her sing the chorus. That particular part of the song, as well as the second verse, troubled him a little, because he almost believed she was singing about him. Tommy didn't to read too much into its content, but if what he was thinking was the case, he'd want to act as soon as possible to console her. Tommy viewed the song as a sad and desperate cry for help.
Tommy snapped out of his trance—which had been occurring frequently as of late—when he heard Jude ask for his opinion of the song. "Uh, well…it's really good so far. I don't know, maybe if you put a little…Jude, do you mind if I ask what the song is about?"
Surprised by the question, Jude still managed to find a reasonable response. "Well, it's mainly about Sadie being a bitch to me this morning, and always treating me like a child. And then I sort of threw in that last part because people tend to like songs about broken relationships, I guess."
Tommy knew that Jude mentioning Sadie and this morning's incident was his way into the conversation he was hoping to have. "You know, you shouldn't talk about your sister like that. She's let you stay with her for the past four years, and you should really start showing your appreciation of that. And as for this morning…well, it seemed to me that Sadie was just worried about you. There's nothing wrong with a little sisterly concern. And besides, it's not like there's anything really serious going on…is there?"
Jude could smell Tommy's divertive tactics from a mile away. "What happened this morning is nothing your pretty little head needs to worry about. So, let's just get back to working on this song, okay?"
"But, Jude." Tommy noticed Jude turn her head to distract herself with something on the sound board as an excuse to not have to look at him. "Hey, we're friends, remember? I want you to feel comfortable with telling me anything because I want to be there for you whenever you need me." Tommy discontinued his 'friends' speech to give Jude an opportunity to possibly confide in him.
Jude didn't want to give in, and after making that decision, she suddenly formed a new way to divert their conversation. A slight smile danced across her lips, which Tommy noticed and was truly puzzled by.
Jude made eye contact with Tommy again. "You know what, Tommy, you're right. I want to tell you everything." She looked at the guitar in her hands and positioned her fingers to where they needed to be. "And I think the best way to describe what I'm feeling is through a song; a song that has a deep message that is very close to my heart." As Jude plucked the strings of the guitar, a somewhat familiar tune hit Tommy's ears. He knew he had heard this music before, but when? Tommy got his answer as Jude sang lyrics that matched the tune.
I was adrift on an ocean all alone
You came and rescued me
When I was far from home
A rush of love around my heart
Just as I fell apart
Tommy just shook his head. "Okay, Jude. I get it. Ha, ha, the joke's on me." Jude didn't want to stop even though it was becoming increasingly difficult to sing due to her stifled laughter.
Nobody ever cared as much for me
Nobody's touched my heart and healed my pain
You've picked up the pieces and put me back together again
"Jude, cut it out. This is seriously cruel."
Jude finally chose to spare Tommy from anymore pain and looked up at him with a delighted smirk on her face. "But, Tommy. You don't understand how much your words spoke to me. I mean, when do I not feel like I'm floating in the middle of an ocean…all alone?"
Tommy didn't want to continue this any further, and he knew he had no other options but to fold. "How about we finish that song of yours?"
"Why Tommy, darling, I thought you'd never ask."
Tommy shook his head but, all the while, smiled at his defeat. If he was going to lose a battle of wits to someone, he was glad it was Jude. "Okay, so I was thinking your hook could have something to do with finally letting yourself go, and what happens after you…"
Tommy, as always, was able to help Jude find the edge she needed for her song. He didn't forget about their conversation, though. He actually made an interesting observation about Jude's responses to serious matters. Whenever confronted with something she didn't want to talk about, Jude would constantly make jokes to try and change the mood of the conversation. As much as Tommy loved Jude's sarcastic wit, it was kind of sad that she used it to mask her emotions. She was obviously hiding something, which Tommy was eager—but not pushy enough—to find out, and, unfortunately, hiding her feelings had become almost ritualistic to her.
A couple of long nights later it became obvious that Jude needed a break from song-making. So, to make the best of this brief musical hiatus, Tommy chose to take both Harrison sisters out to dinner. Sadie was beyond thrilled; Jude was…meh. She felt like she was going with them on one of their dates, and anyone who is anyone knows that being the third wheel, for lack of a better term, sucks monkey balls.
When Tommy told the girls he was taking them out to a jazz club, Jude felt a little more at ease because at least this way she could distract herself by gazing at the big, brass instruments.
Tommy, Sadie, and Jude all found their seats at a little round table in the center of the room, close enough to hear the music being played onstage but far enough to engage in a conversation without screaming.
Tommy looked over at Jude, who seemed completely mesmerized by the atmosphere. He leaned in so that Jude could hear his hushed tones. "You know, gawking is commonly frowned up in civilizations…primarily because it freaks people out so much."
Jude finally tore her eyes from the scene and gave Tommy an incredulous look. "For the record, I am not 'gawking'. I am simply admiring my surroundings. Is that so wrong?" Tommy shook his head in response. "It's not every day you get to dine in an underground venue reminiscent of the swing era that was once occupied by the Billie Holiday."
Tommy adored the mystified look on Jude's face. "It is a pretty snazzy place."
"I dare say one of the snazziest."
Sadie rolled her eyes then glanced at the menu as she decided to include herself in the conversation. "I swear, it's as if the two of you speak a different language. Who says snazzy, anyway?"
"If I may be so bold," Jude began as her defense to Sadie's question, "I'm fairly confident that Tommy was the one who snazz-tastically started it." Tommy threw a breadstick at Jude for her smart-ass comment. Jude ducked just in time to avoid Tommy's ammo and began laughing at her own cleverness.
Tommy wasn't done yet. "Well, what can I say, Jude? I pre-snazzed it up just for you."
Jude instantly caught on to his game. "I hope you're not implying that your ways are snazzier than mine. It simply can't be done, young squire."
"Wow, Jude. I'm quite dis-snazzified by your statement. I would have thought you'd have a little more snazz-ation than that."
"Oh! I see how it is. You're pulling out the big guns with your double snazz. Well, I've got news for you, buster…"
"Oh my god!" Sadie's booming voice interrupted Tommy and Jude's mock argument, as well as turned a few other heads in the crowded club. Sadie slammed her menu back onto the table and glared continuously at both of the individuals at her table. "The next person who says the word 'snazz' in any of its neurotic forms will wish they'd never been born."
Tommy and Jude both had serious expressions on their faces, but it was all shot to hell when Jude couldn't keep her mouth shut. "A good pistol-whipping would have been a sufficient punishment." Tommy couldn't contain himself any longer and soon burst out laughing. Super Troopers was one of Tommy's favorite movies, so he caught on to Jude's reference automatically.
After his laughter subsided, Tommy kept the wheels turning. "Hey Jude, I was doing this crossword this morning and I got stuck on this one word. It rhymes with jazz and the first two letters of the word are S-N. Do you know what it could be?"
Sadie glared daggers at Tommy, but he was able to avoid it long enough to hopefully transfer her negative energy back over to Jude. Jude pretended to think really hard. "Hmm…rhymes with jazz…S-N…Oh! Could it be snifflazz?"
"Ooh. Good guess, but it only has five letters. What do you think, Sadie?"
Sadie now refused to look at either and continued to read the menu, even though she had already been through the whole thing once. "I think the two of you need serious help if this is the only source of entertainment you can create for yourselves."
Jude tried to lighten Sadie's mood. "Oh come on, Sades. We were just messing with you. Besides, what else are we gonna do until the band comes on."
As if on cue, a group of men appear on stage, a spotlight blazing down upon them, and soft applause fills the room. They meticulously tune their instruments, and within a couple of minutes the sweet sound of music cascaded through the air and found its way to Jude's soul. Every instrument was an integral part of the pleasing and unified sound these musicians had created. She hoped that someday her music could warm people's hearts as this music did to her.
For the next 10 minutes, Jude's only capabilities involved staring at the profound jazz musicians before her, while Sadie and Tommy had their own, private conversation. Once out of her captivating trance, Jude turned around to face her party, and immediately noticed the additional person. A waiter was hovering over Sadie as she told him her order. Tommy went next, and, eventually, all eyes were on Jude. She just sat their silently, realizing she hadn't even looked at the menu with all the distractions that had occurred tonight.
Tommy interrupted Jude from her thoughts. "Jude, do you know what you want to eat?"
Instead of making up a stupid excuse, Jude quickly snatched the menu placed in front of her. "Sorry, guys. I haven't even looked yet. I'm gonna need another minute." The waiter said he would come back for Jude's order later and left to start Tommy and Sadie's food. "Tonight's been so much fun, I haven't even thought of food," Jude explained as she absent-mindedly glanced at a couple of items on the menu.
"Well, if you're gonna end up not having a 'taste' for anything later on, maybe it's not even worth it to order." Sadie's words rang with an almost bitter tone through Jude's ears.
Jude could not believe Sadie was bringing this up again, especially with Tommy in earshot…again. "Hey, Sadie. You know if you start getting hungry before your meal gets here, you could always bite me!"
Sadie looked down at the ground in shame, as if suddenly realizing that what she said was wrong and inappropriate.
Jude was obviously still enraged by Sadie's comment. She picked up the menu again and picked out some of the items. "Let's see…they have burgers…pizza…ooh! Fettuccini, that sounds good…steak with roasted potatoes. You know what, I really can't decide so how about I just order it all." Jude glanced over at Sadie and felt the sarcasm rolling off her tongue. "Would that make you happy, Sadie? Because, to be honest, that's all I truly care about in this world…making sure my only sister is, at long last, satisfied with who I am."
Sadie could tell Jude was way past being angry. "Jude, I…I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I don't know what I was thinking."
"You were thinking, 'how can I make my younger sister look more like a fool?' Well, congratulations, Mr. Hyde, you've outdone yourself this time."
Jude got up from her chair, and it was only now that Tommy made a reaction. Tommy was so engrossed in the sisters' 'lifetime movie' argument, that he didn't feel the need to interject until now. He stood up immediately after Jude did. "Jude, don't let this ruin our evening. The band's just started, and we haven't even eaten yet. Please sit back down."
Jude gazed intently at Tommy. "I'm sorry, Tommy," Jude began before looking back over at her sister, "but I've lost my appetite." She pushed back her chair and headed toward the exit.
Tommy was about to go after her, but an arm halted his pursuits. "Don't, Tom," Sadie managed as she attempted to force him back into his seat, "the best thing for her right now is to blow off steam."
Tommy was about to settle on agreeing with his girlfriend, until he realized that after witnessing two of their fights he was still completely in the dark. He whipped his head around to face Sadie, aggravation being his main disposition. "Alright, fine. I'll allow an 18 year-old girl—just this once—to wander the streets alone and 'blow off steam' if you can answer me this one question: Why the hell do you keep yelling at Jude regarding her eating habits? Something's going on and I want to find out what this is right now!
Tommy's angry and concerned words made at clear that she was not leaving the club until he got his answer. Sadie closed her eyes briefly, before slowly opening them again. "Okay, I'll tell you. But you can't tell anyone else because Jude is…embarrassed about it."
"Your secret's safe with me."
Sadie entered her apartment later that night and found silence. She wondered if Jude made it home yet, and got her answer when she noticed Jude's purse lying on the coffee table in the living room. Sadie made the slow trek to Jude's room. The door was closed, and probably locked, as a nonverbal signal for Sadie to 'keep out'. She tried the door knob anyway and, surprisingly, Jude hadn't locked it.
Sadie carefully pushed the door to the teenager's bedroom open, and crept in the darkness over to the bed, where Jude's petite form was curled up underneath the blankets. After a momentary pause, Sadie climbed into the bed with Jude's back facing her.
All that existed between them for five minutes was breathing. Sadie knew Jude was awake, but Jude wasn't ready to admit that in case she wanted to 'talk'. Sadie didn't want quiet anymore. "When you left the club, Tommy forced me to tell him what are arguments have been about." Jude didn't know where Sadie was going with this, but chose not to talk, prodding Sadie to continue. "I just couldn't keep avoiding his questions anymore. He's asked me a couple of times every day since that talk during breakfast."
Jude had now also felt her silence was unnecessary. "And?"
"And, I told him a lie, of course. I had to give him something. He accepted my answer pretty easily, too." Sadie began idly stroke Jude's long, blonde hair.
"What did you tell him?"
"I may have told Tommy that you have…diabetes?" Sadie could feel Jude's back lightly convulse, which Sadie assumed was silent laughter.
Jude couldn't believe that the best lie her sister could come up with was…well, that. "And Tommy actually took the bait on that one? That's kind of uncharacteristic of him."
"Well, I made it sound very serious and told him how important it was for you to eat well-balanced meals each day." Sadie continued to play with Jude's hair, but stopped talking so she could change the tone of the conversation. "Listen, Jude, I…I don't want to sound overbearing and repetitive, but you're my only sister and I love you more than you'll ever know. Just please don't give me a reason to be scared again, okay?"
Jude knew Sadie was going to be even more persistent unless she got the answer she wanted. "Okay."