Disclaimer: Margaret Mitchell owns "Gone With the Wind" and all its characters. I own a handful of OC's and a story idea. Book-verse. Not "Scarlett" compliant.

Tempus nascendi et tempus moriendi...

Prissy knocked on Ella's bedroom door as she sat plying her needle. The previous week Marybeth had finished a strawberry patterned embroidery that Ella admired so much she wound up giving her the pattern so she could make one for herself.

"Albert Whiting hyah t' see you, Miz Ella."

Ella sighed heavily and put down her needlework. She knew this time was coming. He had written to her with the date of his arrival home--and could he call on her then?

She wrote him back that he may.

Ella followed Prissy to the parlor and had her first good look at Albert since Christmas. Funny--even though he had been in her thoughts every day over these last months, and he had written her frequently, yet somehow he seemed different from the way she remembered him. A trifle shorter, stockier, his hair darker. Not better or worse, just different. Perhaps distance and time made memories fuzzy.

However, his smile was just as she remembered as he strode across the parlor to greet her and take both her hands. "Ella, I'm so happy to see you."

She smiled wanly, "Me too."

"It seems like it's been forever."

She sighed and nodded.

He put a finger under her chin and tipped her face to his. "You don't look very happy." His eyes were full of concern.

One of her hands was still in his and she squeezed it. "I need to talk to you--about something."

"Good. Because there's something I would like to discuss with you," he said shyly.

Ella felt a prickle of anxiety before she dropped her eyes.

The early evening air was blowing through the parlor windows, warm and breezy. Albert drew her arm through his and walked her to the sofa. After she settled herself in, he sat on an ottoman at her feet, and took her hands again. "Now, Ella--what would you like to say to me?" He looked up at her kindly.

All of a sudden, it came back to her--why she cared for him in the first place. He was kind and patient, he made her feel special--not to mention he had written her that lovely sonnet. No, it wasn't strange that she cared for him. If only he were more forward in his courtship. If only he had declared himself--given any sort of hint at all of what he wanted from her.

"Well--you see--" she stammered. Then she took a deep breath and stated flatly, "Frankie Bonnell's been calling on me." She looked down at her lap.

He tightened his grasp but didn't answer for a moment. Ella didn't dare look up. When he did speak, his voice was strained--he was striving to remain calm. "You're receiving someone else?"

Ella plucked up the courage to look at him. His face reflected his tone of voice--strained calm. But he looked so pale she panicked. "Albert, don't look like that! Are you so very angry? I didn't mean to hurt you..."

"No--no--" he stammered. "I'm just--surprised--that's all."

Ella knew he was lying.

Then Albert spoke again. "May I ask why?"

Ella paused and thought. What seemed like a fun and lighthearted flirtation at the time--kissing a boy at a dance--now seemed cheap and tawdry. Especially since she hadn't even particularly had any tender feelings towards Frankie. Over the months that followed, she had learned to care about him. But that was just it--learned to care for him. (Was one even supposed to learn how to care for someone else? Or should love come upon a person suddenly like a thunderclap?) And furthermore, that lighthearted flirtation now meant that somebody would wind up hurt--the last thing tenderhearted Ella wanted. "We just...at a dance...you know how these things happen sometimes ... and it isn't as if I planned this..."

"You didn't plan it, but it happened anyway."

His tone was now faintly accusatory. Ella was unable to endure the uncomfortable feeling of guilt for very long--and she was feeling it in abundance while he was trying to be kind and understanding. Now that he was showing some spark of anger, however, Ella felt a wave of defiance rise up. "Yes. But it isn't as if you asked me to wait for you, either," she flung at him.

He shrugged helplessly. "That was poor judgment on my part. I see now I should have spoken before. But try to understand--you're so young, Ella, I didn't want you to feel tied to me so far away. I didn't want you to feel obligated to sit out dances or miss out on the jolly times your friends were having. But it didn't mean that I don't care..." He looked so wide-eyed and bewildered that Ella felt overwhelmed with tenderness. Guilt came rushing back. Furthermore she felt very small and petty to question his devotion when the signs were so obvious--now.

And yet--as she looked at the young man holding her hands, she couldn't quite forget the past months, when her emotions were tossed back and forth on waves of confusion and self-doubt. He could have spared her all that. With just one word he could have prevented her from even looking at another man. Unbidden, the defiant mood returned and squashed the feelings of guilt. In a flash she thought--she was fond of Frankie, but Albert was really the one who was dear to her. If he had only spoken up sooner!

"I thought it was obvious that I care about you," he added.

For Ella, still feeling defiant, his unconscious echoing of her own thoughts was the last straw.

Albert saw the play of emotions across Ella's face, but had no idea of where her thoughts were heading. Accordingly, he was amazed when she flew at him in a rage, face reddened, pounding him with her fists.

"How dare you say it was obvious--" she gasped as she pounded him on the chest. "How dare you--you didn't tell me--you made me wonder!" She pounded on him as she railed at him and he lost his balance on the little ottoman and fell backward to the floor under her onslaught. She was kneeling over him now, swinging at him as he tried vainly to grab her wrists. "None of this had to happen! If I had only known--I wouldn't have--I would never--" She stopped suddenly in confusion, panting heavily and Albert scuttled away from her reach.

Before either of them could say another word, the parlor door flew open and a very indignant Scarlett Butler stood in the doorway, hands on hips.

"Ella Lorena Kennedy! What is the meaning of this?" Scarlett demanded sternly, eyes flashing at such a breach of decorum.

Ella looked up at her mother guiltily. She was embarrassed, but she was still angry at Albert.

Before she could speak, Albert stood up hastily. "It was all my fault, Mrs. Butler. I...upset Ella. I didn't intend to, of course," he shot a meaningful glance at Ella, who glared back at him.

"Hmph. Then may I ask you to refrain from upsetting my excitable daughter in the future? Or do I have to worry about the safety of rest of my house?" Scarlett retorted. Ella looked down on the floor where Scarlett now directed her gaze. She had upset a vase in her attack on Albert. Luckily it hadn't broken, nor had there been water in it. Sheepishly Ella picked up the vase and put it back on the table where it belonged. Albert helped her to her feet.

"The house is safe, Mother. I'll remember myself from now on," said Ella, now the picture of abject humility.

Scarlett raised her eyebrow at Ella, a look that gave her to know there would be a lecture later that evening about Proper Behavior When Young Gentlemen Call. Mother was not one to harp on every little point of etiquette--she was too preoccupied most of the time--but even she had limits. Giving the two culprits one final withering glance, she swept out of the room, leaving Ella and Albert alone once more.

"I'm sorry I got you into trouble, Ella."

Ella shook her head and waved him off. "It doesn't matter." She sat down glumly on the sofa.

"You're wrong. It does. Believe me when I say I didn't want to tie you down. But actually, I also had other reasons for not speaking up sooner, and you may as well hear it from me."

Ella looked up at him politely, although her politeness was decidedly strained. She was still overwrought and in no mood to listen to some long-winded recitation from him--or from anybody. All she wanted was to head upstairs to her room to mope--and wait for Mother's private scolding. Scoldings from Mother were always unpleasant--and Ella had learned that it was better to just get them over with.

Albert didn't seem to notice her listless detachment. He glanced out one of the windows to avoid looking directly into her eyes.

"This is rather embarrassing. Not to mention awkward. But you see, I got into some trouble early in my University days--before I was courting you."

Despite herself, Ella felt a spark of interest. "Go on," she encouraged.

"I hope you won't judge me too harshly when you hear me out."

Ella shook her head and waved dismissively.

Albert sighed and plunged in. "What you have to understand, Ella, is that University life is different. Despite the efforts of the administration to chaperone us, there are still plenty of opportunities to get into mischief.

"Anyway, I fell in with a rather fast crowd in my freshman year. A lot of them were older than me. I was flattered by their attention and flattered to be included. Their favorite entertainment was to go to the saloons and gambling houses. Naturally, I didn't want them to think I was a goody-goody and so I went along.

"I had beginner's luck with faro and whist and that made me over-confident. Then my luck changed, as luck always does, and I started to get deeper and deeper into debt. I was a fairly skilled player, but the other players were better--my successes at gaming never quite kept up with my mounting debts. This went on almost my entire freshman year.

"Then one night about a month away from exams, we were all drinking and gaming and things became over heated. Words were said and then the accusations flew and the end result was a serious brawl--one of the students was injured quite badly. It came to the attention of the University dean and all of us were nearly expelled. But thanks to the impassioned pleas of our parents, we were put on probation instead. And thank Heaven the injured student made a full recovery."

Albert looked at Ella now. She was staring at him, wide eyed, and Albert blushed. "I swear to you, I haven't gambled since. And I've been working to pay off my debts. As of last month I'm finally even."

Ella stared at him, trying to take it all in. She had never heard even a hint of this story--naturally, his family would keep such a scandal hushed. He looked so ashamed her compassionate heart was moved with sympathy--especially since he had turned away from such things now.

"What do you think of me now, Ella? Now that you know."

"Well..." she paused, trying to think of the right words. "Everybody makes mistakes and nobody's perfect. Also it was a long time ago. But if you're asking if I think you're a bad person, the answer is no."

He looked relieved. "That was the other reason I didn't want to make you wait for me--I still had all those debts to pay off and I didn't know how long it would take."

"That makes sense."

"But if you don't want me to call on you anymore, I understand."

She shook her head wearily. "No, Albert. I still want to see you."

He sat next to her on the sofa now. "Thank you, Ella. I was so afraid you wouldn't respect me anymore. You can't imagine how relieved I am." He was relieved, but he also felt a twinge of guilt. He had told her most of the truth about that night in the gaming house, but not the entire truth. Well, he comforted himself, after all there were some things you just didn't tell a lady.