Chapter 18

The arrival of the evening shift at the hospital also marked the arrival of formal visiting time and although not many people knew that Starsky had been transferred from Bay City Penitentiary to the hospital, Hutch was surprised to see a young woman hovering outside the brunet's room. He got up stiffly from his perch on the chair by Starsky's bed and walked to the doorway.

'Can I help?' has asked tiredly.

Beth Knott appraised the blond quickly. This was surely Detective Hutchinson, the man who David Starsky was supposed to have gunned down in cold blood. She took in the left arm still held in a sling, the pale, drained look on the man's face and the tight lines around Hutch's mouth showing the anxiety he still bore for his partner despite all that had gone on.

'I was here to see David' she began, looking around the blond to the figure on the bed. 'I should introduce myself. I'm Beth. Beth Knott. I'm the psychiatrist at the jail and I've been working with David to try to get to the bottom of what's been going on. Has he mentioned me at all?'

Hutch shook his head. 'He didn't even want to see me when I visited, and since he's been in here, he's been in a coma. Why are you here now?' He asked it sharply, but not unkindly and the woman ignored the bluntness in his voice.

'I only just heard what happened and I... Well I know I'm supposed to have some professional detachment, but I wanted to see how he was. His case has my interest, and he's... He's not my usual type of patient' she ended, thinking about the piercing deep blue eyes and the slightly crooked shy smile she'd seen only a few days ago.

Hutch nodded. 'Yeah, he has a habit of getting under people's skin. Come in. He's still asleep, but I'm sure he'll know you're here.' Hutch stood back to let Beth into the room and she walked slowly to the bed, gasping as she saw the terrible damage that had been done to the once handsome brunet. She put her hand up to her mouth and gasped. 'Oh my God! Did that all happen inside? Has anyone been dealt with? I mean... Is he going to be ok?'

'Yes' Hutch responded a little too loudly. He chuckled grimly at his own response. 'He has to be. The Docs say he has some trauma to his head. He's had his ruptured spleen removed and the wound on his neck has been sutured. He lost a helluva lot of blood, but they think there could be um...' the blond could hardly bring himself to say the words. He took a deep breath and turned away so that Starsky would have no chance of overhearing. It was irrational, he knew, but it made him feel better. 'They think there's a chance of brain damage. They know he's deaf at least in one ear at the moment and they don't know if that will be permanent or not.'

'Oh God! I had no idea he was so bad' Beth said as she looked back at the sleeping man. Her eyes fell on the handcuff anchoring the right wrist to the bed and she looked away in disgust.

'He'll be fine. He has to be fine. I won't let him be anything else.' Hutch looked up sharply as he said it expecting the usual "But he's the man that shot you" routine. He was surprised when it didn't come and looked curiously at the woman. 'Everyone else thinks I'm crazy coz I don't hate him for what he did. But you don't seem surprised.'

Beth shook her head. 'I'm not. The way he spoke about you, it was obvious there was a very strong bond there, and now I've met you, I can see that it's mutual.'

'Uh huh. That's what comes of my relying on him to watch my back each an' every day. We're close... more'n close and that's why I can't imagine that he'd do what he did out of malice. There was something else at work here.'

'Yes there was' Beth said surprisingly. 'I had a feeling when I was with him that there was something else and I tried to hypnotise him. He went under almost too easily, but them I had difficulty getting him out of the trance, so I started to do some digging and I remembered a book I had. The author is an expert on hypnosis and so I contacted the publisher who gave me his name. I spoke to him for quite some time and he seemed really interested in the case and said he'd help me as much as he could. I brought the book and...'

Beth was interrupted as the doctor came into the room and smiled at the two visitors as he crossed to the bed. Hutch looked at him expectantly as the medic did some preliminary checks and examined the chart hanging at the bottom of the bed. For the minute, Beth was forgotten as the Doctor looked up and nodded at Hutch.

'How's he been? Have you seen any change?'

'No, none. I was getting a little worried. Is he ok?'

The medic nodded. 'He's doing well. I think the time has come to stop the medication keeping him asleep and let him wake up on his own.'

Beth smiled at Hutch. I think you need to be with him. Let me go now and we'll speak later. I'll leave the book on the table and maybe you can look at it later when you're waiting for him huh?'

Hutch smiled at her, and Beth suddenly realised that the blond's eyes were the exact colour of the sky on a summer's day. What was it with these guys and their eyes? Both of them so attractive. One cool and crystalline blue like a mountain lake, the other deep and intense and full of passion and just a hint of danger. With difficulty, she pulled herself together and stood on tiptoe to kiss the flaxen haired cop lightly on his cheek. 'You know where I am when you need me' she said and left the room leaving the doctor and Hutch by Starsky's bedside.

Deftly the doctor injected a white substance into the port in the drip feed leading to Starsky's left arm. It flowed into the vein a little way from the needle delivering the final unit of blood that they'd given the brunet over the two days since he'd been admitted. Hutch had watched each ruby droplet fall through the chamber to flow into his partner's body and had willed each tiny morsel of lifeblood to make his buddy well again. The doctor adjusted the flow of the drip feed, made one or two more checks and then stood back.

'So? What now?' Hutch asked.

'Now we wait. He'll start to wake up in his own time. It could be within the hour, it could take him another day.'

The blond snorted. 'You've never seen him drive. He never does anything slowly.'

'Well in that case, you won't have too long to wait. Stay close by and ring me if you need me' the medic smiled again and left the room.

Hutch remained in the quiet of the room looking down at the battered and bruised body on the bed. Despite the fact that the injection had only just been delivered, he watched intently for any small signs of life, snickering to himself at his eagerness at seeing those indigo blue eyes once more. It seemed so long since he'd been alone with his partner and had been able to converse with him without either the brunet bolting for the door or guards being stationed outside that Hutch found himself longing to hear the sound of that familiar northern drawl again. How many times in the past had he wished Starsky would shut up? So many times when the brunet had been prattling on about pet stones or astrology or voodoo, or anything that was so way off track from their current case had he wished for peace and quiet? How many times had he snapped at his partner to shut up? And now, all he wanted was for his partner to open his eyes and murmur his name.

With a sigh he sat down by the side of the bed and took a hold of the brunet's left hand. 'What are we don' here Starsk? What's it all about huh? And why us? Why you? Jeez what am I doin' talkin' to myself? Probably coz I need to hear your voice buddy. You left me for too long this time. Much too long. Can ya give me a sign here? Just a little sign. Can you even hear me? Do you know I'm here?' the blond watched intently, waiting for some reaction, but none came and instead, hutch went back to his quiet thoughts, his thumb making small circles on the back of the brunet's hand as he waited.

Time seemed to stretch into an eternity. The silence in the room was deafening although beyond the closed door, Hutch could hear the sounds of bed pans clanking, drip stands being rolled across the tiled floor and visitors voices murmuring and sometimes bursting into laughter. The sounds of giggling seemed incongruous inside the room. It seemed unbelievable that the whole world didn't know of his worry over his partner. Didn't they understand how anxious he was? Didn't they know that he was waiting with baited breath to see whether his buddy would still be firing on all thrusters when he eventually woke up? Balling his hands into fists he tried to calm himself and went back to his thoughts as very slowly the fingers on the clock crawled around their orbit.

7:30... 8:00...8:15 and then... Was that his imagination? Did he just feel a twitch of weak fingers against his hand? Hutch was on his feet in a moment, staring earnestly at his buddy's face and was rewarded with the briefest twitch of translucent eyelids.

'Starsky? Starsk, can ya hear me buddy? Are ya gonna wake up for me?' Hutch urged his partner to make more effort and was rewarded by a rasping groan. He tried again.

'Starsk, c'mon buddy. I'm right here. You're safe. I'm not goin' anywhere. I just need to see those beautiful blues again. Open your eyes for me huh?'

For the next few minutes, it was apparent that the brunet was indeed resurfacing from his long sleep. Several times there was a flash of indigo blue as Starsky's eyes flashed open and then drifted closed and more raw groans were wrung from his dry throat but gradually, as the time passed, the curly haired cop became more animated.

Within half an hour, deep blue eyes opened, and remained open although unfocused and weakly the brunet turned his head on the pillow. His left hand was still locked in Hutch's grasp and so he tried to move his right to raise it to his head. Finding it imprisoned by the manacle still in place, Starsky gave a subdued whimper and his body stiffened. Immediately, Hutch reached up and carded his fingers through chocolate coloured curls.

'Easy there partner, easy. Hey Starsk. Welcome back huh?'

For a moment, Hutch's heart stood still. There was no recognition in those eyes that he knew so well and the Doctor's words came back to haunt him. 'There may be some brain damage...he may be deaf...'

'Starsk, can you hear me ok?' It's me, it's Hutch.'

'Hu..sssch...hurts...' the voice was weak, rasping and almost unrecognisible as that belonging to his partner, but Hutch was delighted. Starsky had responded to him and it did appear he could hear him.

'I know it does buddy, I know. We can do something about that. Jeez Starsk, it's so good to have you back.'

Starsky's eyebrows drew together in a frown of concentration. 'Knew... you'd come.'

'Uh huh. Wild horses wouldn't keep me away, you know that buddy. Um...can you hear me? Can you hear ok?'

The brunet closed his eyes. 'Ffffuzzzzy. Hu...tch...where?'

'You're in the hospital. You were hurt. Don't try to remember right now. You just...'

But Starsky was already pulling his hand weakly away from the blond's grip. 'No...I...Hutsssh nooooo.' the curly head tossed fitfully on the pillow and the brunet started to get agitated as Hutch leaned over him. Gently, the flaxen haired man took a hold of his friend's bruised, swollen face between his hands and forced Starsky to look at him.

When Hutch spoke, it was slowly and clearly so that the brunet would be left in no doubt as to his meaning. 'Don't do this to me Starsk. Don't do it to us. I can't handle you pulling away like this. I need you as much as I think you need me.'

'Nooo...shot ya...' Starsky managed to rasp, his eyes more expressive than any words could ever be. Those eyes held hurt and anger and such pain that it hurt almost to look at them.

'God Starsk! You need to listen to me, and listen good. Don't pull away from me. Don't shut me out. I don't care how long I have to wait you're not gonna get rid of me coz we need to talk, we need to discuss this and you're a captive audience. You aint going nowhere and neither am I. Some time soon, you're gonna tell me what happened. I don't blame you and I aint ever gonna leave, but you're gonna have to let me in buddy...please?'

Starsky looked up at the earnest face above him. He felt so weak, but at the same time he felt so safe now that Hutch was there once more watching his back. He'd never remembered feeling lonelier than when the blond wasn't with him and now, at least for a little while, he allowed himself to relax into the comforting blond presence. He struggled to find the energy to say what he had to but it was important to both of them that he voiced his feelings now.

'I don't know... why Hutch, I just... it happened. Didn't want to...God...never want to hurt ya. Something made me and I shot ya... I deserve... this. I deserve... fuckin' die for... what… did to you.' the struggle to get out the words he'd been burning to say to his partner cost Starsky dearly and no sooner had he got the words out of his mouth than his eyes slid closed and his body told him that this was enough exertion.

Hutch watched his partner drift back into sleep as he closed his own eyes, getting his feelings under control. Starsky thought he should die because of what he'd been forced to do! Gently he leaned close to his friend's ear. 'I don't blame ya Starsk, please, don't blame yourself huh?'

Slowly he let go of the limp left hand and straightened wearily. His eyes fell on the book that Beth had left for him and he padded over to the small drawers and picked it up. His eyebrows shot up as he saw the author's name on the spine and Hutch turned it over in his hands and gasped as the face on the dust cover smiled out at him. Edgar Fisher! And the face belonged to the man who they'd both met at the fairground!