A/N: I like this writing most. I was inspired to write about Camus' thoughts after seeing a fan art in this site: i77./albums/j73/hieilonewolf/Saint Seiya Knights of the Zodiac/Camus Milo/kamusemirorindo.jpg
I don't think it is a shounen ai at all, though. What I see in the picture is an explicit friendship that is only owned by few people in the world.
Disclaimer: I do not own Saint Seiya characters. Saint Seiya is the creation of Masami Kurumada
Setting: After "Hades"
Have I Told You, Milo…?
I look at you. You tell me a story enthusiastically. You seem cheerful as usual, you always let your hilarious laughter decorates your face, enlightened your brilliant blue eyes. I look at you…without really listening to what you're talking about. It's been long years since we've been friends, but have I told you that I'm so happy to have you as my best friend…? Never…I never tell you. Even when we were in front of the Wailing Wall, I couldn't express it to you. I died without telling you that you'd been a candle which warmed the glacier in my eyes. Even after I have a chance to live once more, I still can't convey how precious you are to me. When you laugh, I feel hilarious. And when you cry…I feel like Hades' trident stabs my heart. But have I told you that, Milo…?
You always tell me that I'm your teacher, your idol. You always keep your heart open, and tell me for maybe twice a week that you're happy for having a friend like me. But have I told you the same, Milo…?
People say that our relationship is so special, they even think that we love each other. Yes…I love you…but though I've told them thousand times that I love you as my brother, as my best friend, and not as a lover…they still don't believe it. They don't understand that our friendship is too valuable to be changed into another kind of relationship…
Whatever. What I know now is…the tears began to fill my eyes as you laugh in the middle of your talk. Your laugh is always be the thing that cheers me up…but have I told you that…? You're always able to be my friend, my teacher, my brother, and my father at the same time…but have I told you that, Milo…? You're the only person who understood my purpose when I locked him in Freezing Coffin. Everybody considered me as a cruel teacher…him, the Bronze, the Golds. It was only you who could feel the pain in my heart. I feel blessed for having a friend as you...
…but have I told you that…?
I look at you. You keep continuing your story. Everything that I want to tell you always stuck in my throat. I can only have these thoughts but not expose it. I'm afraid…so afraid that if I don't use every precious chance to express my feelings in you, I'm afraid I'll die before telling you the things you should know. That I always believe in you, Milo…that I care about you…that I love to be by your side…
You look at me, asking whether I get the story you've told me. I said yes. But you know that I lie.
"What's wrong?" you ask.
I sigh. I keep restraining my tears. The words in my heart are ready to burst out. I'm ready to tell you all my thoughts, that you're a kind of a very rare shooting star that I have to nurture and take care about…. I'm about to say that I love you, Milo… I love you as my friend, and I don't want to lose you…. I'm about to tell that you will always stay here in my heart.
But the thing that I say is only:
"Let's go to the town. I'll treat you some food for lunch."
You are so glad, so enthusiastic. And after that, we go to the town together.
I'm sorry I never could tell you how much you mean to me, Milo.
I'm so sorry…
"It's okay, Camus," you say, causing me to be frozen. Can you hear my thoughts?
"It's okay. You don't need to treat me the lunch," you say. "We'll pay it together, okay?"
You look at me. You smile at me. I look at you, and I can only smile slightly.
I'm so happy to have you as my best friend, Milo.
I've told you that for hundred times…
But only in my heart.
The End