Chapter Two
In Which We See a Different Side of Snape and Discover He Indeed Has a Heart
Snape patrolled the halls, wand in hand. As usual, he was dressed in black from head to toe, his hair unwashed, and his skin pale as snow. He had not always looked like this, but found it suited him now; as bitter and twisted on the outside as he was inside. He supposed he shouldn't torture himself by staying here, the very place which brought back so many memories, good and bad from his own school days. Piper, his mind sighed as her name surfaced in his memory. His flame, his lady, his girlfriend. How childish that word sounded now. But she had never been childish. Innocent, yes. Playful, yes. But not childish. She had known what she wanted and wasn't afraid of fighting for it. Perhaps why she had fitted so well in Slytherin, despite some of her other, Gryffindorish traits. Certainly Lilly Evans had been a passing crush, but Piper had been so much more special. Real in a way Lilly was not. Her sudden disappearance had left him shattered and heartbroken, and he had sworn never again to let anyone into his heart, lest they too, rip it out. In school, he had been fun. Playful, even, but her disappearance had ended all that. He'd become a death eater soon after because they offered security, friendship of sorts, a sense of belonging. Snape shook his head, angry that he was wallowing in an unchangeable past.
A flicker of silvery movement caught his eye and interrupted his thoughts. He cast a quick invisibility spell and zeroed in on the spot. A moment later he spotted a lonely bare foot for a split second before it disappeared again. Smirking, he followed the elusive trail until the figure's hand appeared, reaching out for a doorknob. As the door swung open, the invisibility cloak came off and Snape grinned maliciously as he spotted the dark haired boy. Potter! He followed swiftly, removing his spell and darting into the room before the door could close. For a moment, he saw a bathroom, much like the one Prefects used, then Potter spun to see him and the room spun crazily for a moment, before settling. "Professor Snape! I can explain…" Potter trailed off as he realised he was in a completely different room and was being ignored by Snape, who wasn't looking at him, but glancing around the room, with something akin to horrified shock. The room was a potions lab, but with a few minor changes. Instead of a dungeon, it appeared to be a classroom. There was a large workbench along the left side of the room, complete with cauldrons, potion ingredients, and utensils, the door to a storeroom stood ajar, as if a potion making session was in progress. There was a large green plush window seat with a rather romantic view of the lake, a crackling fireplace, Persian rugs, blankets and throw pillows, all done in various shades of green and silver, a muggle Twister game and all manner of sweets from Honeydukes spilled over a large mahogany desk in the centre of the room. The overall affect was quite homey. Bittersweet memories surged and Snape blinked several times as unexpected, unwelcome tears stung his eyes. This was the very room he had spent most of his nights at school, had spent all his free time here with Piper. The room was exactly as they'd left it, the day before her disappearance. He had never been able to find the room after that, yet here it was, pristine to the last detail.
Potter was looking confused, which meant the boy had not expected to find this room. "Potter…" Snape cleared his throat to clear the lump which had formed. "Do you know where we are?" Potter looked surprised at the question, probably wondering when he hadn't been yelled at. "No sir, the Room of Requirement usually gives me a bathroom or a library…" Snape stared at him, perplexed. Room of Requirement? What nonsense was this? It was his and Piper's private place, somewhere they could practice their potions and study, talk, read, whatever took their fancy. Was Potter saying the room could change? That explained why he'd never been able to find it, certainly. "Are you saying this room doesn't always look like this?" he knew the question sounded thick, but he needed to know: why now? After all these years of searching, 'patrolling' the halls. Potter looked uncomfortable. "No sir. I've never seen it like this before." Snape drew in a deep, shuddering breath and crossed to the window seat. He ran a hand tenderly over the seat, remembering the hours he and Piper had lay her, reading and cuddling comfortably together. The emotions he had buried deep all these years can flooding out and he collapsed onto the seat and sank his head into his hands as the tears finally came. Deep, wracking sobs shuddered through his thin frame. At this moment, it didn't matter that Potter was still standing in the room, watching in awe as his potions master, whom he had thought a heartless bastard, cried his heart out. It didn't matter that he was a teacher, nor that he was an adult. Nothing mattered. He felt again like the lonely school boy who'd just lost his first love. The agony of never knowing if she was really dead, the pain of her sudden loss, he felt it all again, as sharp as the day he'd first felt it and it was overwhelming.
He felt a tentative hand on his shoulder and glanced up to see Potter looking tense and strained. "You ok, Professor?" Snape chuckled wetly. "Not really, Potter. I suppose you want to know why my seeing this room is enough to reduce this fearsome git of a potions master to cry like a girl?" Potter seemed caught between amusement and trepidation. "If you want to talk about it, yes?" The dark haired boy seemed unsure if this was a joke or not. Snape took a shuddering sigh to calm himself. He needed to talk about it to someone, and Potter was willing to listen. If he had to jinx the boy into forgetting it later, he would. Looking out over the lake he began. "When I was at school, Potter, I was a lot different to what I am now." He glanced back, "Do you honestly think I was pale and greasy then too? Don't answer that," he said hastily as the boy coloured guiltily. "Anyway, I can safely say I was most assuredly not. No doubt this is shattering your happy conviction of me as a heartless, emotionless prick with a malicious mean streak. Never mind. Despite what the majority of the student body think, I wasn't born like this. I wasn't a popular child by a long shot, but I had a few friends. I was a top student too. And I had a girlfriend." Snape watched Potter's jaw drop in the window's reflection and smiled bitterly. "Yes Potter, I know its earth shattering, but close your mouth before your jaw falls off." Potter's mouth slammed shut with an audible click and Snape wasn't sure if the boy had realised his shock shouldn't be that obvious or if he was afraid Snape was threatening to make his jaw fall off. He continued, "Her name was Piper Blackwood and she was the prettiest Slytherin seventh year girl I'd ever seen. We were study partners and it just went from that to friendship and then when I asked her to come to Hogsmeade with me for a drink one day, she asked if it was a date and I told her it was if she wanted it to be." Snape smiled at the memory, unaware that Potter noticed his face softened whenever he said her name. "We dated all year, but the day before graduation, she disappeared. One minute there, the next, just gone! I was, well 'upset' is perhaps not strong enough. I joined the Deatheaters because I needed the company, Potter, I needed to belong, and that's why I signed up, not because I agreed with Voldemort's ideas." He glanced at Potter in the window and could see the boy analysing his words, slotting them into the puzzle that was his potion master's pasts, re-evaluating his assumptions. "I never saw Piper again, and its hard not knowing if she's really dead or not. She was so happy and innocent then. I think about her every day, even now." Snape was glad he was looking out the window. The long restrained tears rolling down his face and the admission was embarrassing. He knew he would cringe over this tomorrow, but right now, Potter's face looked compassionate. And Snape needed some understanding. Dumbledore understood, but there was only so much cryptic kindness one could take and Snape was not big on patience.