Dislcaimer- Yeah, see this chapter. Yeah, I don't own the characters in it.
A/N- Please like it.
EPOV
To stay in character I tried to say hi in a gangster way.
"Wuz up in da hood my homie g's from da fucking bitch strizzle."
"I'm glad I don't have to wait till I'm on the like umm… flip side to see you." Bella whispered in my ear.
I chuckled. "Me tizzle home skillet."
"Did you finish what umm… you like needed to?" Bella asked.
"Yup. It's all done. It was so hard I had to knock a few dozen people out cold but it was a brizzle for me." I winked not wanting to scare her.
"Of course. My big like strong gangsta can do like anything dangerous." Bella crooned staying in character.
"I wouldn't holla this ta jus' anyone but there's goin' ta be some commotion about something in da bathroom. I heard someone sprizzled some wordy dirds in there bitch." I fake whispered.
"Is it something a girl like me like should be like umm… scared about?" she played along.
"It depends on what kinda gizzle ya are." I replied.
She giggled and batted her eyelashes.
"We betta get goin' cause class is startin', not that I cizzle or nothin', ya jus' might get big trouble." I informed them.
"Thank you." Bella said clinging onto my arm and smiling "seductively", which ended up looking so cutely pathetic its objective was achieved.
We went into the crowded lunch room prepared for death (our reputations only of course). We definitely were going to create a stir in the pot of high school life.
The chess team was preparing for a match so they were crowded around a table debating strategies. Rosalie walked over and sat down. Everyone in the lunchroom turned around to look at her. Not only was she not sitting with her family like usual but she was sitting down with the chess team and was beating them in strategizing.
Alice walked over to a corner and stood slouched against the wall looking like she would kill anyone who approached her. Bella strutted over to her usual table and plopped down by Mike.
"Hey. Have you been umm… like working out? You look like you've got umm… some new like muscles." Bella inquired with masquerade idolization. It made my insides burn with anger, but I knew it was all part of the opposite day which, by the way, I was starting to hate more and more.
"I know." Emmett cut in. "Soon you'll be all big and strong like me. Want me to help you work out. I could show you my specialized workout." He winked suggestively.
"Ummm. Thanks." Mike looked away awkwardly.
Jessica threw Bella and Emmett a really dirty look.
"Hey everybody, I just can't believe how exuberant I feel today! It's like I ate a whole bag of sunny leprechaun pony sugar and drank a gallon of glittery unicorn coffee! Does anyone to come hang out with me after school? I think I can get us into a majorly cool club! Maybe afterwards we can go to Starbucks! Can I help you with that? It needs just a little glue and it'll be fine." Jasper prattled.
"Thanks." Angela blushed. She looked at Bella and gave her a questioning look. Bella just shrugged her shoulders. This made her scent flow over to me and I inhaled deeply. She just smelled so good. If she smelled like she did to me to everyone she would have way more obsessed admirers, not that she didn't already have a lot.
Jasper helped Angela with her project that she was trying to fix during lunch. Emmett had been skipping to lunch singing Hannah Montana and had accidentally knocked into Angela and her project fell and got tilted slightly askew.
Soon I looked over to check on Alice. She was arguing with the principal Mr. Greene.
"Sit down young man. This is lunch, not a backstreet alley where you smoke pot." Mr. Greene ordered.
"First off, I'm not a man. Secondly, I don't smoke pot. Thirdly, I don't think my father Dr. Cullen will appreciate you telling me to sit down when I am in a brace and can't sit because I fell down. It could damage the healing process." Alice lied.
"Oh, I'm sorry Alice, I didn't recognize you. I understand the circumstances and extend my apologies to both you and your father." Mr. Greene looked flustered.
Alice was going to reply when another flustered person arrived on the scene.
"T-there is s-some inapp-propriate w-words written in t-the boy's b-b-bathroom." She huffed out of breath.
"I'll be right there." He assured patting her shoulder. I snickered. So my masterpiece had been discovered. I had covered the bathroom in graffiti and cuss words. Some that aren't even known widely today. Suddenly the whole school was rushing to the boy's bathroom to see what happened.
"Is this what like you were umm… expecting?" Bella inquired.
"Yep my housie y cat. (instead of homie g dawg, it was getting tiring) even betta then Izzle spected." I grinned.
"Since you are like getting so good at like pranks do you want to like play one on like Emmett for making us like do like this?" Bella queried.
"Wat are ya damn thinkin of fizzle?" I inquired.
"Well, since I am umm… supposed to be a like preppy slut and they spread rumors about other umm… people, I say Emmett should like get one." Bella grinned mischievously.
"I think I know a fucking gizzle one." I replied grinning back, an evil glint in my eye.
"Like, umm… what?" Bella implored.
"Well, for startas wizzle can say that he is a transvestite, bitch."
"And we can umm… say he's on like steroids or umm… somethin'!" Bella jumped up and down.
"And dat when he wasa girl he wizzle pregnant three whole shittin times." I added.
"And by umm… three like different umm… men!" Bella finished.
We both laughed hysterically. This was going to be great!
"So, umm… who do we like tell?" Bella giggled.
"Tell that bitch Eric 'cause he an his friends are da gossip queens of da schizzle." I chuckled.
"Maybe we should like tell like Jessica and like her friends and like stuff." Bella choked out from under the laughter.
"Kay, I'll damn make sure to dizzle that shit." I bubbled.
RPOV
I know something is going on. I can hear Edward and Bella giggling like little schoolgirls who are about to commit a prank. That's it! They are probably planning on getting back at Emmett! You would think they would be satisfied with him acting gay, but no, they are planning to do something else.
I really wish these dweebs would shut up. How interesting can chess really be?
"Huh?" I answered in response to Eric's question.
"I asked if you want to compete in our chess tournament. One of our members had an asthma attack and fell down breaking his glasses which caused a serious infection at the wound site. We need someone to take his place, otherwise we won't have a chance of beating the competition and this is semi-state finals. It's really serious. If we don't win this we won't possibly be able to compete in the championship. We haven't won in 29 years! We can finally prove we are as intelligent as we appear! So what do you say?" Eric asked excitedly.
I really don't want to do this but my alter ego for the day would be ecstatic.
"Really? You would let me replace him? Thank you sooooooooo much!" I cried excitedly.
"Just don't let us down. You know we are only doing this because of uncontrollable circumstances. If you cost us this then you better be prepared to take the consequences." Eric warned.
"I promise I won't!" I squealed.
Inwardly I just died. I think I need to throw up. How in the world do I get out of this?
"Be in the gym precisely when the clock strikes two, figuratively speaking of course." He chided.
"Absolutely!" I cried.
Of course I would do great. I had learned a lot from watching Alice and Edward play; I just didn't want everyone to know I could play. I mean, how embarrassing.
I continued debating over the proper tactic play dungeons and dragons with this small kid when Emmett walked by me. My eyes pleaded with him to end this but he just smiled and waved at the kid beside me.
Emmett POV
I smiled as I walked by Rosalie knowing that everyone was having a miserable time.
I heard some people whispering and wouldn't normally care, but I heard my name mentioned.
"Are you sure? I mean, Emmett's too big to be a woman."
"Yeah, that's just the steroids."
"You're probably right; he could have not lost all the baby weight yet."
I wondered why in the world the thought I was: A) a women, B) on steroids, C) pregnant. Who would say such mean things about me? Suddenly I realized that some of my wonderful siblings were trying to get me back.
I went up to the two students and said in my high gay person voice, "So what are you guys talking about?"
They shifted uncomfortably.
"Umm..."
"How I think that my friends outfit looks great." The other one quickly rescued.
"Which one?" I asked trying to seem interested.
"The one wearing the lime-green and blue shirt and black Capri pants."
"Are you sure? Because lately the trends have been toward either all bright or all dull colors together, not a mixture of both. Or is this the new trend? Now I have to go rethink my whole wardrobe!" I ran away screaming like a little girl (Alice), who just found out Santa Claus (a close mall) didn't exist.
So they've decided to get back at me then? I will show them who is the greatest of them all then! Mwahahaha! My laughter resounded evilly in my head where I knew Edward could hear it.
Edward POV
I knew trouble was brewing as evil laughter rang in Emmett's head. I immediately went to warn Bella that trouble was ahead in the form of my darling brother Emmett.
BPOV
I figured that since I was stuck being a prep all day and that one rumor had worked out so great I might as well have some fun. Since Lauren had recently been getting on my nerves, a lot, I decided that she is now my intended target, which would be a great distraction so she would lay off being so mean to me.
I decided to go for the "she's trying to steal your man" thing, so I calmly walked up to Jessica and pulled her aside.
"I don't know umm… how to like tell you this." I started.
"What are you talking about?" Jessica questioned.
"Well, I overheard like Lauren umm… talking in the like bathroom umm… with a like friend." I paused knowing that Jessica would soon bite and sure enough she did.
"What does it have to do with me? Was she talking about me?" she inquired.
"Not umm… you like exactly, just like how she wanted to like take Mike from you and that umm… you didn't like deserve him."
"What!" Jessica yelped, outraged.
"That's not like all; I saw her trying to umm… like put her like plan into like action. She started flirting with like him in the library and started like leaning closer trying to get him to umm… like umm… kiss her." I continued drawing her closer into my web of lies.
"Did he?" Jessica demanded impulsively.
"He didn't even like know she was like trying to like umm… kiss him." I replied, not wanted to get Mike in trouble, this was between Lauren and me.
"How dare she? What do you think I should do?" she interrogated.
"I don't like know; I would umm… confront like her. Don't mention where you got umm… this like information though, she already like hates me." I pleaded.
"Of course. Thank-you so much for telling me this." Jessica assured me.
Suddenly Edward flew out of nowhere and pulled me away. He looked extremely flustered.
"What's like umm… wrong?" I asked worriedly.
"Emmett was laughin' manically in hizzle damn head an I think he's goin' to try an get fuckin' back at us for telling on his ass." Edward explained.
"How about we like say it was like Jasper?" I suggested. "I mean it would like make sense because like he has to interact with like people and umm… that like makes it like harder for him to like not umm… eat them."
"You're a fuckin' genius Bella my dawg!" Edward gave me a quick peck on my cheek before rushing away.
I felt a little faint but quickly rushed to class.
RPOV
The intercom came on and announced, "All chess team members to the gym."
The moment of my death had arrived.
I trudged to the gym and took my place at the table.
"This is just practice, but in a few minutes the competition will begin after all the other students get here to watch." Eric declared.
I didn't know everyone in the school would be watching! This is even worse then I thought it would be!
We played a few games of chess before the announcements directed everyone to come witness my humiliating execution.
I glanced up in time to see my dear Emmett waving ecstatically from the bleachers mirrored by my darling brother Jasper who had Emmett's arm wrapped around his waist holding him very close to Emmett's bulging chest muscles. I glared at both of them and conveyed high voltage death rays shooting into their brains causing a internal combustion. This way when their heads explode the chess thingy would be canceled. Yippee! In your face Emmy-bear!
My hallucinatory victory came to an end as the opposing schools principal conveyed proper procedure and the other boring information no one listened to except those who made bored a career. Yes, I do mean teachers. First I faced a kid with a detached expression, that is, until I checkmated him in six moves. After that, his face held one that could be described as more stunned, dazed, astounded, astonished, bewildered, baffled, stupefied, dumbfounded, confounded, disturbed, distraught, and traumatized. ß Vocabulary words of the day.
That got the attention of the other pupils of the aforementioned educational asylums, no offense Alice, and they began murmuring among themselves asking who it was. I continued my amazing display of ingenuity as I played against the other competitors until I was one of the last ones. Skipping over the apathetic parts I quickly won. The outcome would, of course, have been different playing against my vampire siblings; however, I was not so it was a great moment in my short lived (pardon the irony) history book of chess matches.
While we were dismissing it became evident that Alice and Edward had started a spat and were currently on their way to becoming a disturbance. Hopefully it would escalade and take the attention off me winning.
Sure enough Edward began pointing and singing the emo kid song in its entirety, very projected and verbosely.
"Dear Diary:
Mood: Apathetic.
My life is
spiraling downward.
I couldn't get enough money to go to the
Blood Red Romance and Suffocate me dry concert.
It sucks
'cause they play some of my favorite songs
like "Stab My
Heart Because I Love You" and
"Rip Apart My Soul"
and of course,
"Stabby Rip Stab Stab".
And it
doesn't help that I couldn't
get my hair to do that flippy thing.
Like that guy from that band can do.
Some days you know...
'I'm an emo kid, non-conforming as can be
You'd be
non-conforming too if
you looked just like me
I have paint on
my nails and make-up on my face
I'm almost emo enough to start
shaving my legs
'Cause I feel real deep when I'm dressing in drag
I call it freedom of expression,
most just call me a fag
'Cause our dudes look like chicks,
and our chicks look like
dykes
'Cause emo is one step below transvestite!
Stop my
breathing and slit my throat
I must be emo
I don't jump
around when I go to shows
I must be emo
I'm dark, and
sensitive with low self-esteem
The way I dress makes every day
feel like Halloween
I have no real problems but I like to make
believe
I stole my sister's mascara now
I'm grounded for a
week.
Sulking and writing poetry are my hobbies
I can't get
through a Hawthorne
Heights album without sobbing
Girls keep
breaking up with me,
it's never any fun.
Find more Lyrics at /bh
They say they already have a pussy,
they don't
need another one
Stop my breathing and slit my throat
I
must be emo
I don't jump around when I go to shows
I must be
emo
Dye in my hair and polish on my toes
I must be emo
I
play guitar and write suicide notes
I must be emo
My life
is just a black abyss,
you know, it's so dark.
And it's
suffocating me.
Grabbing hold of me and tightening it's grip,
tighter than a pair of
my little sister's jeans...
which
look great on me by the way.
When I get depressed I cut my
wrists in every direction
Hearing songs about getting
dumped
give me an erection
I write in a live journal and
wear thick
rimmed glasses
I tell my friends I bleed black
and cry during
classes
I'm just a bad, cheap, imitation of goth,
You can
read me "Catcher in the
Rye", and watch me jack off.
I
wear skin tight clothes while hating my life
If I said I like
girls, I'd only be half right!
I look like I'm dead and dress
like a homo
I must be emo
Screw XBox, I play old school
Nintendo
I must be emo
I like to whine and hate my parentals
I must be emo
Me and my friends all look like clones
I
must be emo
My parents just don't get me, you know.
They
think I'm gay just because
they saw me kiss a guy.
Well, a
couple guys. But I mean, it's the 2000's.
Can't 2 ... or 4 dudes
make-out with
each other without being gay?
I mean, chicks
dig that kind of thing anyways.
I don't know diary,
sometimes
I think you're the only one that gets me,
you're my best
friend...
I feel like tacos!"
That sure got peoples attention. They quickly poured back in and gathered in a circle around Alice and Edward.
A/N- So, I hope you liked it. I love the Emo Kid song. It's great. Don't forget, the link to that song is on my profile. Go watch it.