Part 3 – Chapter 39

Hutch drove like the wind down the hill from the clinic, his mind in a whirl. Starsky was hurting he knew and to be honest with himself, Hutch had also expected progress on Starsky's memory to be quicker and he could understand why his partner was angry. But the words stung him nonetheless. Hutch had stayed by the brunet's side over all this time and he felt like he'd been slapped in the face when Starsky had told him to go.

As he progressed down the hill, however, Hutch's temper waned and by the time he'd reached the city limits he was upset, but no longer in danger of biting off the head of the first person he might meet. With Traff gone back to the Army base for a few days and Hutch needing company and someone to talk to, it was a natural progression that he should find himself driving automatically towards the Pits and Huggy Bear's friendship. It was growing dark when the blond drew his battered car up outside the back entrance to the bar and got out. Walking into the bar felt comforting. The smell of beer and tobacco and the music from the juke box welcomed him like long lost friends and the blond felt himself begin to relax as he headed for the bar and leaned on it casually. Huggy looked up from the beer he was pouring and his face cracked into a grin.

'Hey… Hutch my man. How's it hangin'? And how's the curly one doin'?'

'Not bad, but I needed a break' Hutch said without enthusiasm.

Huggy put a glass of cold beer down on the bar in front of his friend and leaned over, cupping his chin in his hand. 'That's not like you. What's gone wrong?'

'Wrong? Nothin', why should anythin' be wrong?'

'Hmm, let me see. Two reasons. One, you an' Starsky don't ever go nowhere without the other and second, you look like you lost a dollar and found a dime. C'mon, tell Uncle Huggy what's eatin' ya.'

Hutch looked up, took a deep chug of the beer and sighed. 'I'm so transparent am I?'

'Well it don't need a psychiatrist to see you're a troubled little Blondie.'

'No, guess not. I guess I was just expecting too much. Beth and Starsk have been at it a week now and he can remember bits of things, but nothing of any consequence. It's like he's there, but he isn't there. Does that make sense?'

'With what he's been through, you can't expect the guy to click his heels an' be in Kansas right away, can ya? I mean…. He stunned everyone when he recovered before, but that was his body. This is a whole different ball game. Minds are strange things' Huggy observed sagely.

'I know, but it's still tough an' I don't know if I'm doin' any good by bein' there.'

Huggy grunted. 'Now I know there's something wrong. C'mon spill it.'

The blond slammed his glass down on the bar top. 'Why the hell did he tell me to fuck off huh? He shot me didn't he? An' I never blamed him once. I never told him that it hurt like nothin' I've ever felt before. I tried to hide all that from him. I tried to act like a perfect buddy. I tried to shelter him from all that just coz I thought he'd be hurtin' enough anyhow. And then he goes an' blows up at me! He's the one who tells me to fuck off and that he needs some space when it's me that's been hurt all this time. He's never once thought of that, has he?' Hutch put his head in his hands and sighed.

'Maybe that's the problem Blondie' Huggy said quietly.

Hutch looked up, surprised. 'Huh?'

'Well maybe you should stop tryin' to be the perfect friend and just concentrate on bein' a normal average friend. You've put so much strain on yourself by keepin' this all bottled up and it's bound to show up the cracks eventually. Maybe what he needs is some tough love.'

'Say again?' Hutch asked.

'Well ya know I don't advocate yellin' at him every day, but maybe if you stopped treadin' on eggshells when he's around, he might begin to feel a bit more normal.'

The blond smiled sadly. 'That's what he said. He said I was walkin' on tippy toes around him an' he was sick of it.'

'Well there ya go! All you need to do is be human. He wants a friend by his side, not Saint Hutch the Perfect. Let him see that you hurt too sometimes. Tell him when he's getting' on your nerves, coz it seems to me like he's tellin' you when you're grindin' him down.'

'You know, you should go into the shrink business. You'd make a fortune' Hutch muttered although now that Huggy had said it, he could see the force of the argument.

'Want another beer?'

'Uh huh and keep 'em comin'. If Starsk wants some space, who am I to argue with him?'

Huggy turned to pour another glass just as Janice yelled over the noise of the music. 'Hug….call for ya' she wiggled the telephone at the lanky bar tender and he smiled apologetically at Hutch, put the glass down in front of him and took the call.

The blond swilled the beer round his glass and chuckled to himself. There was his partner, in an exclusive clinic that fortunately he didn't need to pay for, with the best psychiatrists money could buy on his case, when all he really needed was a night at the Pits, a few beers and Huggy's down home wisdom. He took another drink of beer, just as Huggy put the phone down. Now, however, his face did not register it's usual smile. He patted Hutch on the arm to get his attention and put his mouth close the blond's ear as an especially loud song started on the juke box.

'That was Dobey. He says he's had a call from Beth at the clinic. She wanted to know where you were. Something's wrong with Starsky. You need to get back up there Pal.'

'Did they say what was wrong?' Hutch asked, his heart beating a little faster.

'No, just that they were having difficulties and you should head on back up the hill.'

'Aww shit. I should never have left' Hutch said putting his glass back down on the bar.'

Huggy took it from his friend. 'Hey Hutch. Remember. You're not superman. You're not superhuman so don't try and act like it huh? And be careful driving back' the barman shouted to the blond's retreating back.

Hutch climbed back into the car and set off back up to the clinic. He didn't exactly rush, but he had his foot hard down on the gas as he swung onto the freeway out of the city and the road started to climb. What did that mean? They were having difficulties. That covered a multitude of sins. It could be that Starsky had refused to eat his supper or it could mean that he'd come to blows with one of the other residents. Hutch ran scenarios in his head as he drove, the darkened road flashing past him as he pushed his powerful car up through the hill road.

Eventually the white sign proclaiming Pine View Clinic came into view and the flaxen haired cop swung his car onto the drive and finally pulled up outside the large house. Getting out, he took the steps up to the front door two at a time and pushed open the big front door. inside the entrance hall was lit by warm amber coloured lamps and by the desk Beth waited, a worried look on her face.

'What's happened?' Hutch asked as he walked over to the reception desk.

'I don't know, but I think somehow Fisher has got to him again.'

'Fisher? How? What's he done?'

'I think you need to come with me' Beth said fairly calmly. She led the way to the hospital part of the building and down a corridor that Hutch had never used before. He looked questioningly at the woman and she smiled apologetically.

'I'm sorry. He was so agitated that we had to put him in a padded cell for his own good. There's a CCTV camera in there. We can watch from the observation room.' She indicated a small darkened room to the left and as Hutch walked in he saw a bank of television screens lining one wall. Most showed darkened rooms that were empty. One showed a man curled up and asleep in a padded room, and one showed Starsky.

The brunet was walking around the perimeter of the room like a caged panther. His hands ran along the padded wall of the room and occasionally he would stop, better at the doorway and yell before reversing his pattern and walking in the opposite direction. Several time he looked directly at the camera and when Beth turned up the sound, he was yelling at them to let him out and that he had somewhere he had to go. Hutch swallowed down the bile in his throat.

'How long's he been like that?'

'I'm not really sure when you left, but at dinner time, the orderly went into his room with his tray and he pushed past and ran down the corridor. When I got there, I saw the phone was off the hook as though he'd taken a phone call. He um…. he hit two of the nurses on his way out and he was running up the drive when we caught up with him. He put up quite a fight.'

'I don't understand' Hutch said, unable to take his eyes off the sight of his partner caged and prowling.

'He kept telling us that he had to go to town and do something, but when we asked what, he couldn't tell us. At one point he was in so much pain that he passed out. That's when we managed to get him into the padded cell. I'm sorry Hutch, it's for his own safety.'

'What? Oh…yeah, yeah. You did what you had to, but what do we do now? I mean, it's like we've taken three steps forward and five steps back.'

'I was hoping he might quieten down if you go and try to talk to him. I mean we'll be right outside and we wouldn't want to put you in any danger…'

'Course I'll go in, but we had an argument before I left. That's why I went down to the city. I just needed a break.'

'Well of course. You're not superman you know' Beth said.

Hutch snickered. 'You're the second person to tell me that tonight. Ok, well. Now's as good a time as ever. Lead the way and lets see what I can do huh?'

Beth took them back out of the observation room and down to the cells area and nodded at the orderly on duty. He took a key and unlocked the door.

'Any last minute instructions?' Hutch asked.

'Keep calm, keep your voice low and if it looks like he's gonna hurt you, we'll get you out. Good luck' Beth advised as she kissed the blond on his cheek.

The orderly opened the door and Hutch walked in to the brightly lit room. As the door closed again, Starsky turned and made a lunge for the door. Hutch caught him by the shoulders and pushed him back and for a moment, the two men struggled with each other.

'Starsk, what're ya doin; buddy? Just calm down huh? Starsky! Stop this. Just stop and listen to me.'

The brunet stopped his fighting and instead clung to his partner as though he'd not seen him for years. 'Hutch…gotta get outa here. Let me out buddy. Just let me out an' everythin' will be fine.'

'And where are ya gonna go?'

Indigo blue eyes focused on Hutch and Starsky's forehead creased in concentration. 'Go? I um.. I have to go to….to… I have to get outa here.'

'So what's the rush? Let's just sit down and talk about this huh? Lets just take a minute to look at this.'

'No! No, you don't understand. I have to get out. I have to GET OUT' Starsky yelled, pushed himself away from Hutch and started to batter at the wall again with his fists.

Hutch made a grab for Starsky and held him close in a bear hug, keeping away from the flailing arms. 'Starsky stop, Don't do this buddy, please. Stop. Just stop.'

'NOOO, you don't understand!' Starsky whipped around in Hutch's arms and got one hand free. He drew back his fist just as Beth and two large orderlies broke into the room. As the two big men grabbed Starsky and bore him, shouting, to the ground, Beth shouldered Hutch out of the way and knelt by the brunet's side, Deftly she rolled up the brunet's sleeve. Hutch winced as she took a loaded syringe from her pocket and drove the needle into the curly haired man's biceps.

Within minutes, Starsky's struggles slowed and then ceased as his head lolled back. Beth nodded to the two men and they left and immediately, Hutch fell to his knees by his partner and gathered the smaller man up, cradling Starsky's head in his lap.

'Starsk, easy there buddy' he murmured, stroking the sweating ebony bangs from the cops forehead.

Wearily Starsky opened one eye. Hut….sh? What're ya doin' 'ere?'

'Looking after you ya big lug. What did you have to do that for?'

'Where's Ffffisher?' Starsky slurred, fighting to keep his eyes open against the power of the strong sedative. Hutch looked at Beth, amazed.

She knelt by the brunet's side. 'Dave, what did you just say?'

'Ffffisher…..s'posed to get tapes fffffor Edgar……told me he was my fffffffriend.' The indigo eyes closed and gently Beth shook him.

'Dave don't go to sleep yet. Fight this just a while longer. Do you remember Edgar Fisher?'

Sleepily the brunet cracked open one eye and regarded her blearily. 'R'member? Yeah….. keeps phonin'. Tells me to……have to get tapesssss.' The curly head relaxed completely onto Hutch's lap and the blond looked up in amazement.

'How come he can remember suddenly?'

Beth shook her head. 'I can only think that the powerful sedative cancels out the conditioning. His mind can't fight both at the same time.'

'Well that's great, but we can't keep him drugged forever' Hutch said bitterly.

'I know. But it does give me an idea' Beth said cryptically.