A/N: I am so sorry for letting months and months pass without any update! This chapter is waaaay too short, I know, but I wanted to post something at least – I've been so busy with assignments and life in general, and I thought that if I waited until I had enough time to write a good, long chapter then it may be another few months before I got around to it! Thanks at the end of the chapter…
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Draco was in his room in the Slytherin dungeons, lying indolently on his back on his four-poster bed, staring into the draperies that protected him from the rest of the world. The dying rays of the sun lit up the dark green velvet, turning it a brilliant emerald.
Harry, tangled in my arms, the firelight turning his eyes a brilliant emerald, washing his skin with gold…
Draco turned away from the sunlit curtains, aroused and frustrated by the memory. Damned Potter, he thought, punching his pillow. Damn him for making me think of him. Damn him for making me want him…
With a sigh, Draco relented in his assault on the cushion and lay back down. Luckily, he'd managed to arrest the train of thought about Harry before… Draco scowled. Earlier, he'd resorted to a round of, ahem, "boy's solitaire" in order to relieve the awful whirl of desire and uncertainty he felt towards the Gryffindor.
Draco shut his eyes in an attempt to quiet his mind. He thought he would dearly love to strangle Harry in an attempt to vent his confusion – hurting Harry was simple, but desiring him was complicated and oddly painful to deal with – but even the thought of being close enough to strangle Harry (to place his hands once more on that warm, smooth skin) made his blood run hot and his face flush. He thought of Harry – Harry lying below him, their hips together, their legs tangled – and his skin burnt with desire wherever he imagined Harry's body touching his.
With a half-strangled groan, he flipped over and shoved his head under the pillows.
What torture it is to be left alone with one's own mind, thought Draco. He was still three hours away from his meeting with Harry, and was going insane.
What on Earth am I supposed to say? 'Hi Harry, by the way, the thought of kissing you gives me an erection. Let's shag!'
Draco paused in his thoughts for a moment. If we were to move beyond kissing… how would we have sex? How do two men have sex?
Draco grimaced. Well, obviously they… well, one is on top, and…how do they decide who's going to be on the (Draco cringed) bottom?
Draco shifted uncomfortably as he recalled an unwittingly overheard conversation between Pansy telling one of her girlfriends how painful it was losing her virginity. He'd smirked to himself at the time, but now wished he hadn't.
Will it be painful? he wondered, with mounting anxiety.
He mentally slapped himself. Get a grip, Draco – it will probably never even happen. You – son of Lucius and Narcissus Malfoy, ardent servants of the Dark Lord – and Potter, The Boy Who Lived? Let alone the fact that you're both guys…
Draco sighed. No – it's impossible. There's nothing that we share and nothing that we ever will.
Still, in the face of all hopelessness, his mind wandered back to the previous night – the soft firelight, and Harry's lips…
Just a memory, thought Draco – and yet, he allowed himself to be comforted by it, by the ghostly touch of Harry's hand, by the pale remembrance of his embrace…
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A/N: A special thanks to chibisansempei – your comment gave me the wake-up call I needed to start posting again!
My heartfelt thanks go to oreoxlove4ever, SlytherinSceneKid, Sagey Pagey (I'm so sorry it took me ages to update!), Xephiaand Idina Malfoy (I do plan on many more chapters, and I shall strive to keep the writing quality up!), SwarmOfFanGirls, LycanthaRose (I think the comment Harry makes about Draco's arse is probably my fave line that I've written .), Dezra(Yeah, I didn't want Harry to spend to much time angsting, better to just get on with the story I think .) ParamourConspiracy (thanks for sticking with me this long!) spikesbitch, and Konflickted.
To my long-time readers – you are awesome, and I hope I can continue to entertain you.
To any new readers, I hope you enjoy this fic! It's always a real buzz to hear from you, so don't be shy to comment .
And to Sparrowhawk – if you are reading – you remain my inspiration…