Chapter Four: Cold One Coming On

He stood outside the building that housed his apartment, gazing up at the floor where he lived, afraid to head inside to see what message was left behind. In his job he'd learned about all kinds of people, how cruel they can be to one another, to what lengths someone will go to get money or drugs. Hell, he'd once stolen a bottle of pain medication from the house of a person they were trying to help. As the sky darkened overhead he thought about the man that had swept him away. He always thought that life made sense but then he met Danny and realized just how much was missing from his life, how deep inside his heart had been shut away. And now…he wondered if he would ever get the chance to look into Danny's brown eyes once again, to feel the gentle caress…

A crack of thunder made him jump as lightning streaked across the sky. A mere second later the heavens opened up, rain pouring down upon him like he stood under a waterfall. He was drenched before he could say his full name and he found it to be rather fitting to his mood. Dripping, looking somewhat like a lost soul- and wasn't that exactly what he was?- he finally got up the courage to walk into the lobby of his building. He left droplets of water on the floor in his wake, his mind consumed by a trillion thoughts, none of which he could pin down. It was his job to find missing people, those kidnapped by the people they loved, people they thought they could trust, people they had wronged, and yet, he found that nothing about what he was doing made sense. Why had he refrained from calling Jack, a man that had been doing this job far longer than him, someone that would understand? Why was he so apprehensive about finding the next clue? That was the easier of the two questions to answer; he was afraid of just what exactly the next clue would be. What if it turned out to be a body part? He wouldn't be able to handle that…not that anyone ever could.

He trudged up the stairs, once again ignoring the convenience of the elevator. Every step, his feet feeling heavy, was like a burning agony as he drew closer to his apartment. When he reached the landing he paused, a new thought coming to the forefront of his mind. How would the message be left for him? He hoped that it was left on his door, taped to the wood or maybe slid through the crack between the door and the floor. But there was a chance that it could very well be inside his apartment. That simple realization sent a shiver running down his spine as he walked down the carpeted hall. If someone, somehow managed to get into his apartment he wouldn't be able to sleep, not that he figured he'd be doing a lot of that to begin with, but the thought that someone could get into his apartment…

There was nothing on the door of his apartment aside from the gold number that was always there. It only furthered his feelings of unease. Reaching into his pocket he withdrew his keys, slipping one into the lock and turning it. He let the door open before him, allowing him to see into his apartment without putting himself in danger. Everything seemed to be in its place from where he stood in the hallway. The only thing that didn't belong was the stark white envelope on the floor with his name written on the outside. He bent down to pick it up. Before bothering to read what was inside he closed the door and locked it behind him, the wooden barrier giving him a feeling of safety. He dropped his keys on the floor and opened the envelope. It took him another minute before he was strong enough pull out the contents inside.

A piece of fabric, cut away from a shirt. He felt the familiar texture between his fingers, knew the pattern by heart. Raising the fabric toward his face he could smell the faint aroma of Danny's cologne. Closing his eyes his mind was transported to another time and place, a time when he was with Danny, sharing a passionate moment. It nearly brought tears to his eyes. Knowing that there had to be more he slipped the fabric into his pocket and fished around inside the envelope. There was another note inside, this one informing him that someone was going to go missing in the next few hours. It was his job to keep the investigation stalled as long as possible. Further instructions would be delivered when needed.

He felt a heaviness wash over him. Whoever took Danny wanted him to stop doing his job without really stopping. How was he going to keep the others from finding leads and tracking down whoever it was that would go missing? If Jack found out then he stood to lose everything. His father wouldn't even be able to help him. He closed his eyes, wondering what he'd done to get caught up in such a horrible scenario.

The answer was simple.

He'd fallen in love.

--

Before he left for work the next morning he grabbed something a little extra, shoving it into his pocket. It was a bottle of pain medication that he'd kept around shortly after he started going to meetings to break his habit. The others had been so supportive of him, even Danny had shown him support when he talked about how hard it was to give up his addiction to the little pills. And that was months after the fact. Nobody knew that he kept the bottle around because he kept it hidden away. The reason he kept it was for the same reason some former alcoholics kept bottles of liquor; to remind him of what he'd nearly lost. Now the bottle served a different purpose. He wanted the magic of the pills to mellow him out, to help him act like his usual self so that the others wouldn't realize that something was in fact wrong.

The bottle secure in the inside pocket of his jacket he set out for work.

At the office everything seemed to be going smoothly, normal like it was any other day of the year and he wasn't in the middle of some bizarre game. Sam was in talking to Jack, perched on the edge of his desk. Vivian was sitting at the conference table with Elena, chatting about kids and schools and other motherly things. He thought about heading to his desk to finish up the work he'd left from yesterday but found that he didn't exactly have the courage. Instead he took a detour to the break room. Once he was alone he popped one of the tiny pills, downing it with a swallow of coffee. Only after the fact did he realize just how weak he'd become. For months now he thought he was healed, over this damned addiction. But one little glitch in his life and he was once again popping them like candy. What would Danny think of him? He would be mad, but that didn't matter if he couldn't get Danny back to him.

Taking his steaming mug of coffee back to his desk he found that there was a flurry of activity. Curious about what was going on, but for some reason afraid to let the others know that he was there, he headed for his desk, settling the mug atop the wood and falling into his chair. He hadn't even been there for a second when Sam came to stand beside him.

"Looks like we have a busy day ahead of us," she said. She held something in her hand.

"What makes you say that?"

"We have a missing person, a lawyer," she said.

At the mention of the person's occupation his heart began to beat faster. He recalled in cold clarity the message from the night before.

"Oh?" he managed to get out, his voice sound calm and cool. Inside he was quickly losing control.

"Yep," she told him, holding the picture up for him.

Just as he'd feared it was Danny.

They were looking for his lover.

And he had to keep them from finding him.