Reviews please…
Konnie: I'm not yet decided if it will have a happy ending maybe depends on what people will want… hehehe thanks for the review, it keeps me going to continue the story, I'm supposed to delete it if its not good. But somehow, I can try, just bear with my lousy grammar and lame ideas hehehe thanks for the review. I'm happy. :)
Dominiqueanne: sorry for the late update, NxM forever, yeah!
Khatzie: sorry for the late update, and yup, we can be friends.
Celine's imagination: sorry for the delay…
Chapter 11 – Natsume's feelings
It was already two days since Mikan woke up; she is still recovering and mostly asleep. But the night of the second day, she was wide awake and somehow fully recovered. Natsume never left her side, only at the times to pee and wash himself. Ruka brought him a bag of clothes. No one told Mikan of the news yet about her alice and her baby. When Mikan woke up, the gang left the couple after learning Mikan is recovering already.
Mikan woke up to see Natsume sleeping soundly on a sofa near her bed, she watched him sleep, he looks so innocent, but not when his awake, it's definitely a complete opposite. Mikan slowly tried to move from her bed but her body aches so she decided just to lay on the bed, she looked at the watch on the beside table, its already 10pm so she doesn't want to wake Natsume up. She tried to be quiet but Natsume sensed her movements around the bed, he was already awake and now walking towards her.
"Hey you're awake, little girl, it's already 10pm so sleep more." Natsume said while touching her cheek.
"But I don't feel really sleepy right now, I feel like I slept in ages, so care to tell me what happened because I seem groggy for the past few days." Mikan asked.
Natsume explained everything from the concert, even her lifespan alice. Mikan then understood why she felt exhausted that night.
"And Mikan, did you feel dizzy or even vomited before the concert?" Natsume asked. He doesn't know how to tell her that she is pregnant with his child.
"Actually yes, for two months already, but I don't want to worry you and everyone so I didn't let you all know, I also skipped my two periods, am I pregnant?" Mikan asked while looking away. She somehow was already sure of her guess.
Mikan saved Natsume from a way on how to tell her.
"Yes, Mikan you are two months pregnant with my child. . ." Natsume calmly replied.
Mikan is still silent, she is afraid, Natsume doesn't want the child.
"Listen, I know I got you pregnant too early and we are not even married, I don't know if I'm capable for a role of a father and a boyfriend but Mikan, I want us to keep the child. It's our product of what we share to each other. I'll take full responsibility." Natsume shyly admitted to Mikan. Mikan was quite shock to hear it; she really doesn't expect Natsume to be this gentle and responsible, most of all to accept what is happening.
"Really?! You want it? I'm really scared you won't accept it, I'm thinking for the past few months if I will tell you that I'm pregnant, because I was thinking of having abortion as an option, but then I never want that, I decided that even if you don't accept it, I will still keep it and raise it in my own." Mikan said while tears flowed down from her eyes.
Natsume was shocked to hear that Mikan even think of aborting it, but he knew Mikan can never do that, maybe it is just because of panic that made her think of loosing the baby, but he was glad that Mikan decided to keep it, because he wants a family too although he was thinking that it is when they are finally at peace outside from the academy. Oh well, Natsume thought that blessings are usually unexpected. And he was really happy about it but he also admits that he is sure 100 scared for what may happen to her and the baby and also if he can take care of them well.
"Why are you silent? Do you really want it? I mean don't worry, I will keep it even though you want to be with someone else because I'm a girl who is just 18 with soon to be mother. I'm afraid after giving birth, my body will never be the same." Mikan said, she is really upset that she can't be a woman Natsume wanted.
"Idiot, do you really think that I love you because of your body? I love you, for who you are, and yes, I do want the baby, it's ours. Don't even think of loosing it. Its part of us. I admit I'm feeling tensed and scared because I'm still shocked about the idea of being a father but I will be here all the way. I promise I will take care of you both."
"Okay but I also want you to think about it, I want you to tell me next time of your final decision when you are confident enough. I trust you to be responsible but I don't want us to be bonded because only of an unexpected baby." Mikan finished and she turned her back away from Natsume and pretended to sleep. She may be a little cold but she wasn't satisfied about it.
Natsume knows that he is not yet confident, he understands what Mikan is feeling so he decided to have some space for the both of them. He arranged Mikan's blanket tightly around her and then he left the room. He was planning to sleep in their room back at the hut tonight to think about a lot of things. He told a nurse to watch over Mikan while he was away for awhile. He then proceeds to walk back to their home.
He typed in the password and the computer checked his identity and the door were opened. The lights are off so he pretty much guessed they are already asleep but when he passed the kitchen area, he saw Ruka there sitting alone in the dining without any lights on. He seemed deep in thought.
"I wasn't ecpecting you to go home at this hour? What happened?" Ruka asked as he stared at Natsume.
"Well, Mikan and I had a talk, she doesn't believe me that I want to be responsible for the child, but then I can't blame her, I am really not sure that I can do a great job about that role. How about you?" Natsume admitted as he took a seat in front of Ruka.
"I see, I just had an argument with Hotaru, don't worry its not big, I just have tothink for awhile too. Anyway, what exactly do you feel about this? We are only 18 and currently in the middle of a war between AAO and the academy. We may have earned money but I don't think it can help us survive if in case the band is separated."
"I don't know Ruka, I really am scared that the enemies coming after me, may go after her and our child for revenge. I'm thinking if it would be best to stay out of their lives and just protect them from a distance but I also wanted to be there everyday until my baby is born. I want to witness the birth, to see the baby's smile if it would be like Mikan, to see its tiny little hands and feet, its small body cradled in my arms, most of all, with Mikan by my side raising our child with a happy face. I could not ask for more for this blessing, maybe if we were just a normal being, I don't have anything to worry about but only money to support them."
"I'm sure Mikan will need more of your presence than your protection. Honestly, I didn't expect you to blurt out all of this into me, you seemed matured already, as if like a different personality is within you. Natsume, this is the start of a new life for both you and Mikan, as a soon to be father, I think that you should be the one to lead your soon to be family's life. Mikan is brave, I know she will be a great mother but this time, she is vulnerable, being pregnant at very young age and out of wedlock, she needs you to be with her this time not because you knocked her up but because you love every fiber of her being that is why you are staying beside her, not just the responsibility. Think about that." With that message, Ruka left Natsume to think and went to bed.
After 3 days…Early in the morning
"Natsume didn't visit me after we talked about it last 3 days…" Mikan said as she packed her things, she is now being discharged. Hotaru and Sumire are there to pick her up.
"Maybe he is still shock about it, you know how Natsume thinks and acts, he is quite a child sometimes. Give him some space to clear his thoughts for awhile." Sumire advised as she closed Mikan's bag and took hold of it, ready to leave.
"Yeah, she's right, what is important is for you to focus on your health and recovery first so come on, I'm letting you ride in my invention." Hotaru said as she opened the door and her giraffe-like vehicle is parked outside the hospital room. Mikan sat on it, still depressed. Sumire sat beside her and touched her hand while Hotaru drives her invention back to their hut.
When they arrived, Hotaru and Sumire ran towards the main door and typed in their password, Mikan followed behind them like a robot. When they opened the door, they went inside, Mikan was not sure if it was a good idea to sleep in their hut since she and Natsume share a room. Sumire and Hotaru grabbed both of her hands as they pulled her inside.
She is still looking down but the moment she stepped inside, she heard a guitar being strummed. She looked up and saw that in the stage in their hut, Natsume is playing a guitar with a mike in a stand in front of him, the boys are there too holding their instruments and started playing it too. Mikan stared at Natsume, her heart beats wildly, this is her first time seeing him after their last conversation. She doesn't know what he is planning but she just concentrated on watching and listening as he started to sing while staring at her. (With Arms Wide Open by the Creed… I really love this song)
Well I
just heard the news today
Seems my life is gonna change
I close
my eyes, begin to pray
Then tears of joy stream down my face
With
arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll
show you everything
With arms wide open
With arms wide open
Well I don't know if I'm ready
To be the man I have to
be
I take a breath, I take her by my side
We stand in awe,
we've created life
With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms
wide open
Now everything has changed
I'll show you love
I'll
show you everything
With arms wide open, wide open
(As they played the bridge of the song, Mikan realized the meaning of the song, she started to cry, Natsume strummed his guitar and gave his best while still looking at Mikan who is now crying)
If
I had just one wish only one demand
I hope he's not like me I hope
he understands
That he can take this life and hold it by the
hand
And he can greet the world with arms wide open
With
arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll
show you everything
With arms wide open
Now everything has
changed
I'll show you love
I'll show you everything
With
arms wide open
With arms wide open
I'll show you everything
oh yeah
With arms wide open
Natsume put down his guitar after they finished the song; he went down the stage and slowly walked to Mikan. The gang just watches the two; they feel like they are watching a live soap opera. Mikan still crying ran towards Natsume and hugged him hard, crying in his chest. Natsume hugged her back tightly. A tear slipped from Natsume's eyes, everyone noticed it but kept silent.
"Really, you guys give us headaches." Mochu complained.
"Yeah, Mikan, did you know that Natsume kept us awake for two nights in composing a tone for this song that he wrote specially for you." Koko said, eye bags still clearly seen in his face.
"Let's have the party started then, for Natsume and Mikan's baby!" Yuu cheered.
Mikan gently pushed Natsume away from her as she stared at his eyes, "You composed that song while you are away from me?All of you prepared for this time that I am coming home?" she asked.
"I already told you, I love you and I am happy that you gave me a child, you gave me a family to go home too. You said that I should think about it, and I did, I don't want to be only responsible because I knocked you up, I … I love you Polka. This child is a blessing for me. Thank you. Mikan, Marry me?" Natsume said. The gang's jaws dropped, now they weren't expecting that. It wasn't included in their plans. Mikan stared blankly at Natsume, did she heard him right?
"Are you really Natsume?" Mikan innocently asked him while pinching her cheek. Natsume chuckled and hugged her again.
"Just say yes, 'coz I really will never take no for an answer."
"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Mikan shouted while jumping and hugging Natsume.
"I guess this is a double celebration then." Anna and Nonoko said as they opened the wine.
The gang silently prayed for their safety, because the couple deserves to be happy and they only hoped that everything will go smoothly and happy for them. They are worried for Mikan's safety, they also know that if something happened to Mikan or their baby, it may wreck Natsume. Mikan is Natsume's sanctuary.
Outside the academy…
"I finally found you Mikan Sakura…" A man in a black hood said as he was watching the concert on television again and again.