-

"Dr. Shepherd, there's an emergency in the ambulance bay, Dr. Webber's requesting you," a nurse peeked inside the office and soon disappeared as soon she finished what she was saying.

Derek has probably sat in the dark in his office for almost half an hour after Mark left the room. He sighed as he finally stood up and walked towards the ambulance bay.

The wreckage was bad. Two ambulances hitting each other, the other one upside down in shambles. He saw the Chief standing a foot away from the upside down ambulance.

"Chief!"

"Derek," Richard turned to him. "Good, you're here."

"This is bad," Derek shook his head as he looked at the wreckage. "You need a neuro guy?"

"Yes, there might be a need," Richard nodded, looking back at the screen of the small monitor.

"CHIEF! What am I doing!?" a familiar voice came from inside the ambulance.

"Is that Meredith?" Derek turned around and his eyes narrowed at the familiar shoes that were sticking from under the ambulance. "When did she get here?"

"About half an hour ago or so, she got paged in," Richard spoke distractedly. "A little to the left, Grey!"

"What? Why? She's out sick!" Derek protested, as he walked over to the side of the ambulance. He could hear the gentle creaking of the crunched metals of the ambulance, making him angry at whoever's idea it was to let Meredith crawl under there.

"I GOT IT!" her voice came from inside once again.

Before Derek could even squat down, Meredith has already crawled back out from the ambulance. Her focus was on the Chief so she did not notice him standing at foot from her.

"You did a great job there, Grey," Richard gave her an approving nod. "You're bleeding."

Derek's eyes went down to the arm sleeve of her hospital suit, they were soaking with blood. Her blood. And Derek's eyes went red from the anger again of whoever it was that let her crawl under there.

"Let me take care of that, Chief," Derek intervened, stealing Meredith from Richard. She was surprised to see him especially with a scowl on his face. He took a good grip on her arm, making it known that he was disappointed.

"Derek," she called out his name in surprise. He didn't respond. He was afraid of lashing out at her in the middle of the hospital hall for everyone to see.

"What were you thinking going under there, Meredith?" he asked as soon as they reached an empty exam room.

"I was just…"

"That thing could have caved!"

"It wasn't going to cave!" she countered back.

"It could have!" he insisted.

Before she could respond, the door swung open, making them both look in the direction of the door.

"Oh, Dr. Shepherd," Rose stopped in her tracks.

"Did you need anything?" Derek asked a little harshly, angry at the intrusion.

"I was just going to get something," Rose pointed towards the table. "Maybe I'll just come back for it later."

"Umm, could you get me a suture kit from the supply closet?" Derek asked, mellowing his voice a little.

"Sure, Dr. Shepherd," Rose nodded, leaving the room.

Derek reverted his gaze back at Meredith who stilled had her eyes on the door. They both stood in silence until Rose appeared and handed Derek the suture kit.

"Do you want me to get an intern to suture Dr. Grey for you?"

"No," Derek shook his head. "I'll take care of it."

As soon as Rose left the room, Derek worked on Meredith's wound.

"Did any glass get in?" she asked in a quiet voice.

"No," Derek shook his head as he inspected the wound. "There's none in there. It's big though, probably 3 stitches."

She just nodded numbly.

"Aren't you lucky having the head of neurosurgery stitching you up," he joked a little to avoid the awkward silence they were both enveloped in. She didn't crack a smile nor say anything.

"I don't want us to be together because of the baby," she suddenly announced after a few seconds.

"What?" he looked at her momentarily before going back to his suturing.

"I don't want us to be together just because of the baby," she repeated.

He neither reply nor react to what she just said after that. He worked on her wound and after a few minutes later, he finished suturing it. "There you go, all done. Just let me get a bandage then we can talk about this, Mer."

"No," she shook her head, stepping away from him slowly.

"Stay still," he held her in place as he taped the bandage in place. Once again, he concentrated on his task and as he placed the last tape, he finally said what was in his mind. "I don't want us to be together because of the baby, too."

He felt her go tense and for some reason, that made him feel relieved. She was affected by it meaning she did care.

"I want us to be together because we want to be together, Mer," he finally finished what he really intended to say. "Not because of the baby. Because of us. Because you're ready to be with me, Mer."

She let out a breath and she wrung her hands together, just like each time she struggled to say what she felt.

"You know there are still at least a 100 steps before I get ready, Derek. And you know that I probably won't give you marriage… Or the house… And I can't ensure you that you can live till you're 110… But this… I can give you this, Derek… Because I think I want it too… I-I…"

"Meredith, I'm not…" he paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. "I'm not asking you to think about it. I don't want you to think. I want you to know that you want it because if you don't then…"

"I want this, Derek, I want this," she cut him off. "But what I do not want is for me to commit myself into a relationship that could fail… That would most probably fail. I do not want my child to go through what I did. I do not want him or her to grow up in a perfect world and have it ripped from him in an instance. No one deserves that, Derek. No one."

"That's not gonna happen to him or her," Derek shook his head. "It's not."

"What if it does…"

He stepped closer and he knew she fought the urge to step back.

"You need to trust me, trust me in my promise that I'll take care of you. That, yes, there will be a lot of bumps in the road but we'll get through them, Mer, we'll get through them. Just trust me."

"I-I can't," she shook her head slowly as she finally took the step back from him. "A lot has happened between us… to me already, Derek. I know what it feels like to get hurt… I-I just can't and won't let it happen to my kid. "I want you to be there… For the baby… Just for him or her…"

"You want him to not grow up in a perfect happy family, Mer? You want that for your kid? To our child? You'd rather have him grow up not knowing what a family is! You'd rather have him go back and forth between us?" he asked with disbelief. He understood why she was afraid, he knew why she was like this. But what he couldn't understand was why she can't trust herself and him enough to take the steps. "You're being selfish, Mer, you know it."

He grabbed her by the arms, not caring that she was wincing from the intensity of his grip.

"I want you, Meredith. You. I already told you a dozen times that I don't care about everything else. I just want you. I just want everything if they came with you," he shook her. "You really think I just want the house? The kid? I don't care anymore about those, Meredith! Cos' apparently you don't!"

"I CARE, DEREK! I care that much that I don't even care if I'm being selfish! I don't care that he won't grow up with a perfect family just as long as he wouldn't go through what I did!" she spoke with an angry voice as she pushed him away.

"You don't have to be selfish. You just have to trust me. You have to trust me that I won't hurt you. That I'll give you that perfect family... That I'll get us the house… That I'll make sure I live to 110… I'll give you all that, Meredith. You just have to trust me."

She looked at him, fear in her eyes. Fear of the future. Fear of knowing that there is someone willing to give her the future she doesn't think she deserves.

"You see? This is what you do. Every time I tell you these things, you step away," he gave her a bittersweet smile. "But I'm not letting you this time, Mer, I'm going to take a step forward each time you take one step backward. I just want us to be us, Mer. Back then when you still loved me…"

"I still do, Derek," she whispered. "I still love you, I don't know where I thought I stopped or when you thought I stopped."

"Mer…" he reached for her but she didn't let him.

"Just give me time, Derek. That's all I'm asking."

-

Boo-hoo.