Sorry about the REALLY long wait, I think over a year, but here's the next chapter.
Ganondorf: COFFEE! COFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Cir: Sorry about him, he discovered coffee.
Ganondorf was muttering in his sleep. "No, don't take me… I don't want to be a clown. No, NO! NOOOO! UNICYCLES!" he screamed, waking up. He soon realised Moe and Kae Gae were staring at him. "I had a bad dream, can I hold something?"
Moe threw him a bagel. "Hold that," he said, but Ganon ate it. He sighed and threw him a pillow. "Hold this, I know you won't eat that." However, Ganondorf decided to prove him wrong.
"So where are we?" the Dark Lord finally asked.
"I found a hollow we can use to wait out the storm in," Kae Gae said.
"Waitings for wimps, let's get going!"
They stared at him. "What?"
"You fractured your skull on the drop, so you ain't going anywhere anytime soon," Moe pointed out.
"Geez, who CAN'T move with a fractured skull?" He stood up, but staggered. "I feel dizzy," Ganondorf muttered before falling over. "Mommy I want a cucco for my birthday," he said light headedly.
After multiple minutes Ganondorf climbed up the ladder and looked around. There was sand flying everywhere. He took out an umbrella and opened it up, but it was blown away. "PIECE OF CRAP UMBRELLA!" The wind caused the umbrella to turn around and hit him in the face.
"Rather amusing, isn't it?" Kae Gae asked as they watched Ganondorf be beaten to a pulp by an umbrella flying around in the wind.
"This is the best thing since toilet paper," Moe exclaimed gleefully.
Kae Gae looked at him. "Toilet… paper?"
"Well yeah, where would we be without toilet paper? I remember this one time at Barinade's New Years Eve party where Bongo Bongo had a bad case of diarrhea and when I went into the bathroom there was this HUGE-"
"LALALALALALALALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" Kae Gae screamed , covering his ears(?) with his wings.
Ganondorf smiled. "You two are like an old married couple!" Let's just say he was reacquainted with the ground at the bottom of the hole.
Ganondorf growled and stood up. "ASSHOLES!" he yelled.
"How are you still up? The last time that happened you were out for two hours, and now you're wounded, yet able to get up quicker!" Moe yelled.
"What doesn't kill me only makes me stronger," Ganondorf explained. "It's in my bodily functions. You see, I have a different body then other species. A Gerudo can take extremely tough blows, such as a sword through the face and one through a wound on the chest, preferably glowing. The cells in our internal organs can sense danger and move out of harm's way, and when I fall from a height exceeding 4.641895212 metres, my body prepares to survive extreme impact. My Focluian helps too, but I won't get into detail on that."
The two stared at him. "I paid attention in biology class," Ganondorf stated.
"ANYway, the storm's lightened up, we can move out now," Kae Gae said. Ganondorf leaped up to where they were and began to trek across the desert. They were walking around for multiple hours before Moe asked something.
"Ganondorf, do you KNOW where we're going?"
"No, I was following Kae Gae!"
"But I was following you!"
"So I was following you following me whom Moe was also following… This isn't getting us anywhere."
"So glad you noticed."
"Shut it Moe!"
"Oh ya, his name's Moe…"
"Ganondorf, are you saying you didn't know his name?"
"Honestly I expected Kae Gae to not know my name."
"You told me when he was-"
"Shut up everyone!" Ganondorf finally yelled. "I'm in charge, so let's go east!"
"How do we know where east is?" Moe asked.
"We look at the sun!" Ganondorf exclaimed, looking up. It was noon. He swore. Loudly. Ganondorf looked up every few minutes but it hadn't moved. "Why isn't that sun moving!" he yelled.
"That's not the sun, that's a street light," Kae Gae said.
"THEN WHERE'S THE REAL SUN?"
"Over there," Kae Gae said, pointing east. The trio once again began to trek across the desert.
It took several hours of trekking before Ganondorf stated something. "We're lost again, it only took Link a few minutes to cross this place in the future." The other two stared at him but seriously didn't want to ask questions. "I think we should follow the signs."
"Signs?" Moe asked and Ganondorf pointed at a sign that said:
THEY ARE OVER THERE. YOU ARE A LOST IDIOT.
Kae Gae's neck twitched. "Why didn't you point those out earlier?!" he growled.
"I thought you saw them, they are hot pink," Ganondorf replied. He laughed, pointing at them mockingly. "Now who's stupid?"
"That's another lamp post," Moe said and Ganondorf pouted.
"When will you tell him it really was us?" Kae Gae whispered.
"Screw that!" Moe whispered back.
Koume and Kotake were getting really annoyed when suddenly Ganondorf slammed the door open, which was strange, because there wasn't a door.
"I… have… COME!" he said dramatically. "Now what is it you need to discuss with me?"
"We caught a prisoner and wanted some advice," Kotake said. "We kind of already-"
"Let me discuss it with my council!" Ganondorf exclaimed.
"But we-"
"Discuss it with my council," Ganondorf snarled before bringing them out of the room.
"Kill them," Moe said.
"I agree," Kae Gae, well, agreed.
"I say make them an Iron Knuckle, I'm running out of those," Ganondorf said. "My vote counts as 5!" he quickly added.
"We already did that," Koume, who was listening, said.
"Don't eavesdrop on my council! For that, buy 300 urinal cakes!" Ganondorf ordered.
"But-"
"NOW!" Koume sighed in defeat and went to buy said cakes.
"Council AWAY!" the Great King of Evil exclaimed, posing.
"How the hell do we get out of this desert?" Moe asked.
"That's the easy part!" Ganondorf said casually. "We threaten Kae Gae at bow-point to get us out of here in 3 hours or we blast his brains out!"
"Wait, what?" Kae Gae jerked his head in their direction. "I'm beginning to think I shouldn't have come…"
Ganondorf pointed a flaming arrow at his face. "Got that right bitch, now start moving, timer started fifteen minutes ago!"
"But-"
"TWENTY!"
Kae Gae began leading them out of the temple, Ganondorf still pointing at him. "Are you going to point that the whole way?" the owl asked.
"FOURTY!"
"It's been 16 seconds!"
"FIFTY SIX!"
'He'll just add on every time I talk,' Kae Gae realized. 'I'll just not say anything.'
"I COUNT THINKING! SIXTY FOUR!"
TIME PASSED: 2 months, 12 days