Chapter Twenty-two: Break My Heart Again

Danny stood in the doorway gazing around at the plethora of objects in the room. Some unseen barrier kept him from crossing over the threshold into the apartment beyond. He didn't have to turn on the light to know exactly where everything was; he knew the place like the back of his hand. Over the last year he had been here more than he cared to remember at that moment but the place wasn't the same now that Martin wasn't here. He couldn't hear the sound of the television as a commentator called out the score of a game or the feminine voice of a newscast. No music came from the stereo on the shelf beside the TV. He would have taken anything, even the sound of running water that said Martin was in the shower.

But all that greeted him in the darkness was the silence.

Sighing, feeling his shoulders slump, he finally found the courage to walk over the threshold. Yes, courage, that's what his problem had been. He missed Martin immensely but there was more to his apprehension than his vanished lover, and that was the sheer fear of being alone. All that time he spent in the dank, dark small space made him reluctant to be alone. As soon as he closed the door he turned on all the lights in the living room and flipped on the television, not even caring what channel it was, wanting only to have the sound. He locked the door. Unlike his lover he didn't have a gun so he slipped into the kitchen, making sure to flip on the light, grabbing a knife. Armed, he checked every nook and cranny of the apartment, closest and all.

He was the only one in the place.

And it bothered him.

This was Martin's apartment and memories of happier times were everywhere. Maybe it hadn't been such a good idea when he approached Jack, asked him if he could spend the night in Martin's apartment. He had to be near him, to be able to smell him. Collapsing on the couch he tried to relax, tried finding some peace but he felt nervous, wound-up and slightly on edge. Almost like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop, and wasn't that exactly what it was? Jack assured him that they would keep looking for Martin, that an All Points Bulletin would be sent out so the entire city would be keeping an eye out for him. Still, that didn't make it any easier for him to being sitting in his lover's apartment without the man he wanted.

He closed his eyes, listening to the voices of the actors on the television. Underneath it all he heard something else, someone out in the hallway. He tensed, the footsteps in the hallway seeming to be headed toward the door. He'd locked it. Everything would be fine. His heartbeat quickened when he heard the sound of a key in the lock. He gripped the knife tighter, the weapon concealed between his leg and the arm of the couch. At least he would have element of surprise. He found himself waiting with baited breath as the door slowly opened. Much to his surprise in walked an older man, one that he recognized immediately. He swallowed nervously, wondering what would happen now.

The older man looked at him as he closed the door. "Friend of my son?"

Danny licked his dry, cracked lips. "Yes." Hadn't he had a bad enough day, it didn't seem right that he was now going to have to deal with Martin's uptight father.

Victor Fitzgerald shook his head. "Don't be bullshiting me, young man, that insults my intelligence."

"I...don't…"

"You and my son are lovers," Victor stated so matter-of-factly. When he saw the look of shock on the younger man's face he decided to elaborate. "I know my son's business better than he does. He has always tried to hide things from me, always. When he was just a child he would seek out his mother for help, not me. I admit that maybe I wasn't the best father but I did what I could."

"That's all anyone can ask for," stated Danny, unsure of where this conversation was headed. He realized that his grip on the knife hadn't lessened in the least. "So you…how long have you known?"

"My wife and I caught you kissing."

Danny closed his eyes for a moment. Where had they…how could they possibly have messed up? "Oh…"

"What's your name?" Victor asked as he settled into the armchair.

"Danny."

"You got a last name?"

"Taylor. Danny Taylor. I'm a lawyer," he answered, knowing exactly what question the older Fitzgerald would ask next.

"So my son is dating a lawyer. Do you love him?"

For some reason Danny found that he was a little reluctant to answer that one right away. Martin had shared with him so many unpleasant things, so many bad memories and all of them put Victor Fitzgerald in a bad light. So why was he now sitting in his son's living room and talking about a relationship Martin figured he would frown upon? Maybe Martin had been wrong all along. Maybe he hadn't been able to see the good in his father. "Yes, I love him."

Victor looked at him. "Then you'll see fit to stay away from him."

"Excuse me?" Danny asked, frowning, not believing what he'd heard.

But before Victor could elaborate Danny's phone rang. He had to let go of the knife, which thankfully remained hidden from Victor's view. After checking the number on his phone he answered, his heart skipping a beat as he heard Jack's voice. They had Martin. He was at the hospital but they had him. Though he was delighted to hear that his lover had been found he couldn't help the slow cracks appearing in his heart. How could he rejoice in the knowledge of Martin being found when Victor had just told him that he had to leave the only person he loved?