The Way to a Man's Heart

The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Rowena knew this, just as her mother had known it before her. Of course that didn't help Rowena right now since she had Salazar's heart already. It was his body she was having problems with.

But a romantic dinner couldn't do any harm and so Rowena found herself downstairs in the inn wondering just how she was going to go about using her talents in the kitchen to seduce the man of her dreams.

"What is it?" Rowena asked as she looked into the cooking pot that was gently simmering over the open fire in the centre of the room.

"Stew," the cook replied with a toothless grin. "Best in the county."

Rowena looked at it doubtfully. The watery substance didn't look like anything she'd ever eaten and she wasn't enthused of the idea of partaking of the contents of the pot at all.

"Don't you have any nice venison?" Rowena asked with a hopeful smile, knowing that this was Salazar's favourite dish.

"Venison?" the cook asked, clearly stunned at the very idea. "You think anyone hereabouts wants to get caught poaching in the King's forest? You won't get no venison here."

"Perhaps some pork then?" Rowena asked, with another wary glance at the stew.

"You saying there's something wrong with me stew?" He brandished the ladle of stew in her direction and it began to drip onto the floor. Rowena looked down at the filthy rushes and gave an involuntary shudder.

"No, no," Rowena assured him. "I'm sure it's delicious. But tonight's meal has to be really special."

"Folks come from miles about for me stew," the cook informed her. "It's real special."

"I'm just not sure if the gentleman I'm travelling with is partial to stew," Rowena improvised. "Do you have anything else to offer?"

"There's nothing wrong with me stew," the cook stated in a slow and ominous tone.

"I'm sure there isn't," Rowena hurriedly assured him. "But perhaps I might use the kitchen here to cook a meal myself?"

The cook gestured to the fire and the pot hanging over it. It took a few moments but eventually Rowena registered the fact that she was in fact standing in what passed for the kitchen.

"May I use the fire to cook something myself?" she asked instead, offering the cook her most charming smile. He grunted a response and turned away with a shrug.

Rowena nodded in satisfaction before realising that she had no ingredients and no clue where to start. It wasn't that she was unfamiliar with the idea of cooking a meal, it was just that she'd never had to bother before. At her parents' home they'd had servants to do the cooking for the family. Likewise when she stayed at Helga's there were servants and an elderly house elf on hand to assist in the preparation of meals.

She wondered how hard it could possibly be to cook a simple meal. House elves and muggles could manage it for goodness sake. She was a witch, and an exceptionally talented one at that, a simple meal was nothing compared to the feats she was able to accomplish magically. Thankfully the inn they were in was a wizarding one and so she knew she could use her wand without censure.

If only she knew where to start…

"Where do you keep the raw ingredients?" she asked the cook who had now settled down on one of the benches and was watching her with a rather bemused expression. He pointed over towards a doorway at the far end of the room. Rowena thanked him and marched across the room purposefully.

The room with the foodstuffs in was dark and Rowena pulled out her wand and whispered "lumos" so she could see what she was doing. It didn't help much as she didn't recognise any of the items on the shelves around her.

"Found everything you need?" Rowena jumped and spun round to face the cook who was now standing in the doorway with a smirk on his face. Rowena recognised a smirk when she saw one, she'd seen the expression on Salazar's face on numerous occasions. She didn't mind Salazar's smirks, in fact she quite liked them. Which is more than she could say for the smirk on the face of the man standing in front of her right now.

"Yes, thank you," Rowena replied curtly and she grabbed some random vegetables from the shelves.

The cook wandered off again and left her to her work.

"How hard can it be?" Rowena mumbled to herself.

An hour later and Rowena was swearing a blue streak and cursing whatever fool had ever said that cooking was women's work.

"You sure you don't want to have some of me stew?" the cook asked as he looked sceptically at the two plates Rowena had laid out on the table. Nothing on the plates was still recognisable as edible food.

"No," Rowena replied with a shake of her head. "This is how Salazar likes his vegetables."

The cook nodded sceptically and she had the distinct impression he was trying to smother a laugh.

"I'm going to fetch Salazar," Rowena said. "He should have finished his correspondence by now. You wouldn't mind just making sure no one takes our meal by mistake, would you?"

At that the cook nodded his assurance in between guffaws of laughter at the very idea of anyone else voluntarily eating the revolting concoction.

Rowena sniffed haughtily and left the room to find Salazar.

"Are you ready for dinner?" she asked as she poked her head round the door. She drew in a sharp breath as she watched Salazar releasing the owl at the window.

His letter safely on its way, Salazar turned to face her and smiled. "Shall we?" he asked as he strode across the room and held out his arm to her. She tucked her arm through his and let him guide her back down the stairs. "And what have you been doing whilst I've been writing?" he asked.

"Cooking us a nice meal," Rowena replied with a smile.

"You? Cooking?" Salazar asked with a smile of his own. "I didn't know you had culinary skills."

"I have many hidden talents," Rowena whispered into his ear as she pulled him to a halt.

"I'm sure you do," Salazar whispered back. "But let's go sample your cooking before someone else steals our plates."

"It didn't turn out quite as I planned," Rowena muttered dejectedly as she pushed the food about her plate.

"It's all right," Salazar assured her as he patted her hand reassuringly. "I like it, really."

"You're lying," Rowena muttered. "I can always tell when you lie to me."

"I'm eating it aren't I?" Salazar asked. "Would I eat it if I didn't like it?"

Rowena shrugged and continued to push the food around her plate. "It's awful," she mumbled. "You don't have to eat it. You can just have some of the stew instead."

"I'm happy to eat it, because you made it," Salazar assured her. Rowena smiled at him but didn't fail to notice the rapidly hidden pained expression as he swallowed the food.

Somehow this wasn't going according to plan and she could barely touch her own meal.

"Is he going to be all right?" Rowena asked the Healer as she hovered over Salazar.

"Just a mild case of food poisoning," the Healer assured her with a kindly smile. "As long as he rests for a few days and takes this potion twice a day he'll be right as rain."

Rowena nodded as she gripped hold of Salazar's hand. Instead of seducing him, she'd only managed to poison him.

She realised that her talents clearly didn't lie in the kitchen and that she was going to have to try another tactic if she was going to succeed in getting Salazar to forget he was a gentleman.