The Sound Ninja Four and Kimimaro's Kill

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

A/N: It's been a while since I've added a chapter to this. I don't even know why I'm putting it up during exams. (It's because I never study until the hour before, unless even I can't still figure it out. -People die due to my lack of understanding- Yeah, Near, L doesn't quite fully understand quadratic equations. Oh, hell, I can't even fully remember what they are. At least I'm not partially delirious this time.) So good luck to all you taking exams this week. (Then it's time to disappear. -cries because I don't really wanna transfer to a new high school even if Near is coming with me-) Anyways, enjoy The Sound Ninja Four and Kimimaro's kill!! My mom gave me this idea when she asked, "Why are they putting postage stamps on that barrel?" I think the whole group should count as one, because I'm too lazy to write out a whole bunch of individual deaths and it just seems more natural. -goes home and cries some more due to end of school year- Now I know how L must have felt!!

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"You need me to do what?" said Angsty Backstabber.

Sakon held out a vile of small pills. "The transition to Level Two Curse Mark can kill you. Take one of these and you will be temporarily dead."

No way am I dying, the Emo thought, proving that he had not been reading this story. "So I'm dead, then what?"

"Then we put you in this barrel thing of ours so you don't die," Sakon explained, patting the top of the barrel thing that he was speaking of somewhat affectionately.

"But – "

"JUST TAKE THE DAMN PILL!! DO YOU WANT POWER, OR NOT?!"

The Oblivious Ass' eyes widened. "Power? I'm in!" he then swallowed the pill without further argument or question.

"Quick! Get him in!" Sakon shouted. The Sound Ninja Four quickly sealed him inside the barrel.

"Heh, heh, loser," Tayuya mused. "He comes from a small town, but he doesn't even recognize a roofie when he sees one."

"Well, they don't have any good clubs here," Kidomaru replied.

"They don't?! What kind of sick joke is this?!"

"Hey, if you two are done fighting, there are two guys in the bushes after us . . . ."Jirobo stated.

Sakon turned his head to the bushes. "Hey! Wait your own turns to kill the dense idiot off!"

A couple of groans rose up from the foliage.

"Now where were we?" Sakon asked.

"Sticking postage stamps on it, duh," Tayuya answered.

"Great! I'll write the address on top." He pulled out a black Sharpie and started writing on top of the barrel.

PLEASE SEND AROUND THE WORLD

BUT DO NOT OPEN FOR HELL OR HIGH WATER

Sakon smiled at his work. This'll teach Lord Orochimaru to play favorites, he thought to himself.

Jirobo hauled the barrel containing our least favorite raven-haired git onto his back, and The Sound Ninja Four began to walk towards the nearest post box. When they finally reached one, they realized something.

"It won't fit," Kidomaru pointed out as Jirobo and Sakon futilely tried to stuff the barrel through the tiny mail slot.

"Well, thank you, Captain Obvious," Tayuya stated sarcastically. They then decided that it would be much easier to just hand it over to whoever was working behind the counter at the local post office.

When they arrived at one, Jirobo put the emo container down with a satisfying thud.

The Lady looked at them with a raised eyebrow. "Just what are you mailing?"

Kidomaru dropped a bag full of gold coins (that they recently mugged off a guy) on the desk. "Does this answer your question?"

The Lady's eyes widened. She swiped the money off the counter. "Yes, very much so."

Kidomaru smiled. "Great, we need to send this thing in any given direction for the longest time possible. And nobody can open this understand?"

The Lady nodded her head quickly. "Yep." She quickly stamped it and took it to the back room. "What the hell is in this thing? Dead bodies?!"

"Not yet, anyway," Sakon muttered to himself.

The Lady carelessly dumped it on a conveyor belt (The Sound Ninja Four had also written on it, "Not Fragile. Do whatever the hell you want with it.") which carried Ass-Face into a room full of other packages on conveyor belts. Emo Loser was shaken around violently getting all sorts of bumps and bruises and even a black eye, because The Sound Ninja Four had been too cheap to pay for anything better than fourth class (it exists now) and didn't bother with securing the cargo. After the Conveyor Belt Ride of Pain was over, Angst Monkey was tossed into the back of an airplane which flew over the Land of Fire. After a few hours of flying, Barrel Boy finally woke up.

"Do I get my power now?" he asked groggily.

There was no answer besides the sound of the airplanes engines. He hit the top of the barrel only to find that it was stuck on tight and there were at least three other big and heavy boxes on top of him.

"Aw, dammit."

After a few days of flying, Cockatoo Head was beginning to loose it. Mostly in the sense that he had developed a sense of claustrophobia and a fear of airplanes crashing and exploding.

'This is an awful small container," he said nervously to himself. "I hope it doesn't get any smaller or the plane blows up . . . . " He stopped talking and pulled himself into the fetal position as images of his body being crushed by a shrinking barrel and fiery explosions crossed his mind.

After a few weeks of flying, the Whiner could have been classified as a crazy person.

"The nasty little ninjasess are goings to gets our sharingansess," Gollum Reborn said, still in the fetal position. Or just about as close to a fetal position that he could get considering that he ate his own leg to cease dying of starvation. This could have explained why he was looney bin material, for the act of eating himself could have given him Mad Cow Disease. "If onlys we could gets frees!"

Suddenly, the cargo hatch opened and Mad Emo was thrust from the plane, pummeling to Earth at one hundred and fifty miles per hour. However, the impact that created the biggest earthquake in existence didn't kill him off.

Kimimaro looked up from his lawn chair on the deck of his house in Prince Edward Island (After nobody bothered to come and fight him, because nobody cared about Sasuke, he decided to move to Canada for the international health care and to P.E.I. for the Anne of Green Gables theme.) And walked over to the crater that was formed by the impact.

"I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT!!" Nut Job screeched loudly as he dragged himself out of the now destroyed beyond repair barrel.

Kimimaro was confused and surprised at this and decided to do what he did best: kill off the crazy person.

"You must drink a lot of milk!" the Jerry Springer Candidate declared as Kimimaro took a bone to his throat. He slashed Emo's throat killing him in seconds. Then he hid his corpse in the basement of the Anne of Green Gables Museum. (One day, some Anne fan who hasn't realized that Anne is a fictional character would say, "Holy crap! Look what she did to Gilbert, eh!")

"I still can't believe that Lord Orochimaru wanted the one-legged crazy person for his new body," he said as he turned back yo his copy of "Anne of Avonlea". "If anybody asks, that sand kid and his green friend did it."

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A/N: And that's The Sound Ninja Four and Kimimaro's kill!! Please review!