Eileen Chapter 4: Insanity's edges, a naruto fanfic

I know I've only had a few reviews at the moment but I want to thank those who have reviewed!

Disclaimer: maybe in some insane world I would own Naruto but not in this one…

"" talking

'' thinking

Bold dream state or flashback

Italic parts of songs that inspired that part of story. ((In this chapter it is 'A Moment of Silence' by Streetlight Manifesto.'))

Sasuke just stared down at Naruto who had out his head down on the bed; choking on the remnants of sobs. Sometime ago, Naruto had grabbed Sasuke's hand, just like when he was having the dream, and was squeezing it for comfort. Sasuke wanted to comfort him but he didn't know how to, so he let Naruto do as he pleased.

Naruto choked on tears that wanted to flow down his face but he wouldn't let them, he was a man and men didn't cry. 'I didn't mean to kill him. I didn't want to die. I was young, it was only self defense!' he screamed in his head as the lump in his throat grew larger.

"What did you do after that?" Sasuke asked quietly and hesitantly. He didn't know if the blond was ready to talk yet.

"I fled what else could I do? I was young. 'What would the police do to me if they found out? What would Sieto do to me if he found out?' that's all I could think of.' Naruto said. His voice and occasional sobs muffled by the bed sheets.

"Who's Sieto?" Sasuke asked but got o response from the blond. "What would he do to you if he found out?" Sasuke said getting annoyed and a bi angry that the blond was ignoring his questions.

The blond had recently stopped crying and finally lifted his head up, his eyes and cheeks red. "When did this turn into story time. I've told you something about me, now I think it's only fair that you tell me something about you back." Naruto said, getting annoyed now too.

"Like what?"

"Hm….. I guess anything you normally wouldn't tell someone. Not a lot of people seem to know about, but I want to know what Sasuke Uchiha is like." Naruto said, giving a small smile towards Sasuke.

Sighing Sasuke put a scowl on his face. "Well you're right not a lot of people do know much about me; doesn't that give you the idea that I don't like talking to people! All they do is befriend you then betray you and die in the end! In this world you can only depend on your own strength." Sasuke yelled.

Naruto looked stunned at Sasuke. He had never heard Sasuke yell like that before and Naruto felt a bit of fear seep into his body, but that's when it hit him.

"You believe that don't you. That's why you don't like talking to people and you're always so cold towards them huh?" the blond asked.

A moment of silence please for those that never get the chance

They show up to the party but they're never asked to dance

The loser, the liars, the bastards, the thieves, the cynicists, the pessimist,

And those that don't believe in nothing

"Why the hell would you think that was the reason when you nothing about me or my past." Sasuke said glaring.

I never met a loser that I did see eye to eye with

I declare, I stare into your eyes but you look right past me into the air

"That's why I'm asking you to tell me. You don't know anything about me either but I'm willing to tell you some things."

What's it like to stand in your shoes?

To have never of felt the belt of somebody's abuse

"What makes you think I would tell you stuff like this that I wouldn't tell anybody else? What makes you so special to hear that kind of stuff? Get a clue idiot. In reality you're not a god who came listen to everyone's life stories right when you meet them. You're just what I call you, a loser. How can your parents and friends stand you around them when you're so annoying? Do you do this to everyone, get into their lives and assume stuff that is completely false!" the raven yelled, striking a spike through Naruto's heart with the statements of fury.

"Excuse me, is everything all right in here, you can hear yelling from down the hall?" asked a doctor, concern evident in her voice. She was worried for the well being of not only the Uchiha but the blond boy who seemed to be taking his anger full force.

A stunned Naruto finally spoke but it was strained. "Y-Yes…I-I w-was just…leaving." He said hoarsely, probably from the effort to hold in tears. Trembling, the blond stood up, got his bag from the floor, and headed for the door.

"You're not going to stay over tonight as well? You've been doing it lately." The doctor asked confused at the boy's sudden change in behavior. Even when he got yelled at by others in the hospital he remained cheerful. 'He use to beg for us to let him stay.' She thought.

"Yeah well he's woken up n-now." Taking a big intake of air, Naruto relaxed a little and swallowed the once again growing lump in his throat. "Besides I don't ant to be a bother. Also, Sieto comes home today from his business trip and I want to be there to greet him." 'Or else he'll best me even harder.' He finished in his head.

Waving far well, the fake smiling blond left after uttering a 'goodnight' to Sasuke or the doctor, he couldn't tell. Looking at the doctor, the raven noticed concern in her eyes.

"Hey." He said rudely but it got the doctor's attention. "What did you mean when you asked him about staying over night?" the raven asked but tried to sound not at all interested.

The lady softly smiled as she recalled the past week. "Ever since the accident, Mr. Uzumaki has been up here everyday looking after you. It was funny, sometimes he would get worried over nothing but he was just scared about loosing you. I guess, lately it's gotten to the point where he'd stay over night just to stay by your side. He feels guilty, even thought it wasn't his fault, he kept saying he wanted to do everything he could to save you. He always said that he didn't want another person's death blamed on him." The doctor explained, her smile turning upside down showing that she was confused by the statement. "Well…all I know is I would be very grateful towards him if I were you. He gave you blood, without it you'd be dead." She finished than heard her pager go off and quickly left the room waving good-bye.

Sasuke stared blankly a head in surprise. Naruto had actually stayed by his side the whole time. Shock soon turned into fury as his fist tightened. Raising his arm up, he slammed it down back on the bed with all his might. "You loser, why do you go out of your way for me. I'm not as special as everyone thinks I am."

Naruto ran frantically home. It had started raining again. "Why does it always rain when bad things happen?' Naruto asked as his feet splashed in puddles. His shoes and socks soaked, and his feet feeling numb.

He ran blindly home, opening the unlocked door and went straight into his room; not even bothering taking his shoes of. Walking briskly over to his mirror he stared at himself. 'What is it about me? Why does everyone think that's I'm nothing but annoying.' He thought; his legs finally giving out as he feel back onto his caves.

"Hey kid will it make you feel any better if I helped out." He heard Kyuubi suggest but didn't bother looking up at him.

"No."

"I can best him up."

"No."

"I can talk to him."

"No."

"I can kill him."

"No! Just shut-up, I don't want your help! I don't need anybody's help. I can fight for myself. I can talk for myself. I can live all on my own. I don't need your help, and I don't need a stupid split personality! Just leave me the fuck a lone!" Naruto yelled venting his feelings out.

Kyuubi starred down at the blond whose hands were gripping blond locks tightly. "Fine if you want me to disappear than I will. Farewell." He said, his last word echoing eerily throughout the apartment.

"No one needs me and I don't need anyone." The delusional blond boy said to no one in particular.

Flashback

"How can your parents and friends stand you when you're so annoying?"

"Mother please look at me! I'm not that stupid stuffed animal fox!" a young blond boy pleaded, no older than six.

"Now Naruto you're not going to grow up like that boy over there are you. All he does is stare at us every day. That isn't nice is it, it's very rude. I hope you grow up to be just like your father, he's a very good man." A lady said, scolding a stuffed toy fox.

"But mother I'm right here! Why don't you pay any attention to me!" complained the boy, watching his mother through the window.

A happy blond came running down the hospital hallways waving a piece of paper in his hands. "My, my, aren't you excites today Naruto." Said a white-haired man, yet he was young; both eyes having red streaks going down them.

The blond eagerly nodded. "Look Mr. Pervy-doctor, I got a B on my report card. Now momma will be proud of me and look at me."

Even thought the man hated the nickname, he was proud and happy for the boy. "Well then don't just stand here, go and show her." The man urged though he knew he was only giving the blond false hope.

Without waiting any longer the blond was down the hall and n the way to his mother's room.

"Master Jirayia, do you really think that will get Naruto's mother to realize the truth?" asked a black-haired lady who had over heard the whole conversation.

The White-haired man's smile flattened. "Unfortunately no Shizune, his mother has gone insane with guilt, probably for not being there for him when he was little. Luckily he had his father, but Naruto was too young to remember his death." The man said coldly as he watched the blond run excitingly down the hall to his mother's room.

Opening the door the blond started to yell at the top of his lungs. "Look Mom, I got a B. I worked really hard for it….see….mother?"

"Naruto how is everyt … oh my!" Shizune said as she walked by. "Naruto!" she yelled, falling down to her knees to be at the blonde's height then covering his wide eyes with her trembling hands. "M-Master Jirayia!" she called, the men soon running over.

His mouth lowered a little but he soon regained his composure. "Shizune, get Naruto out of here immediately. Take him with you home, to eat, anywhere but here, understand?"

Nodding the girl picked up the boy and ran off; his report card forgotten on the ground.

The white-haired man slowly walked into the room after telling a nearby nurse to call for Tsunade.

"What drove her to hang herself?"

End Flashback

The blond awoke to the slamming of an open window from the raging winds. He had fallen asleep crying. Standing up he walked over to the window and shut it. Walking back he noticed Sieto's bedroom door closed signaling that he was home and asleep.

Sighing, Naruto walked back into his room this time taking odd his shoes before falling down onto his bed.

Sasuke glared at the television screen. Even thought I was one in the morning, he couldn't sleep. He was never able to sleep ever since that night. Then how did he sleep you ask, during the day. He always felt safer at that time of day, ever since that night.

Sighing, the raven turned off the television, in turn, staring out the window at the moon. His life never was the same after that night.

Flashback

A little raven walked into school, even at a young age he had a cold attitude. The cause for this was the neglection from his one loving father.

Not too long ago, his parents had divorced. His mother taking his older brother, Itachi, and moved to California, while his dad and he stayed here.

Sasuke had long ago figured out that his father didn't respect, admire, or have very high expectations for him as he did the raven's brother.

However, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't be as cold as usual. Secretly inside, Sasuke was excited; his brother and mother were coming for a visit.

Sasuke hurriedly ran home after school was over. His mother and brother probably arrived at their house awhile ago. They were leaving in a couple of days and he wanted to spend the most with them.

Since his house wasn't far from school. He quickly arrived there. Yelling that he was home, he took off his shoes and ran into the kitchen. In there he saw smiling mother and his cocky looking brother.

"Hello darling, how have you been?" asked his mother softly; using her hands to beckon her youngest son into her arms for a hug.

"Good, how about you?" Sasuke asked as he ran into her arms.

"I've been doing great!" she said cheerfully as she poked his nose with pointing finger.

"Hey!" he yelled rubbing his nose even though it didn't hurt. "Is father home yet?"

His mother's smile turned into a frown. "No not yet, why?" she asked curious as to why her youngest son wanted to see his father when she was right there.

"Well, he's been working late lately, so I was wondering if I had to cook for myself. But then I again I guess it doesn't really matter since you're here." Sasuke explained.

'Is this true?" his mother thought, her frown deepening.

Sasuke watched his mother's face swim with expressions but his thought were cut short by someone ruffling his hair hard. "Itachi stop!" he yelled already annoyed by him.

Sasuke's whining only seemed to fuel his brother's desire to piss Sasuke off. Finally, when Itachi was done, he poked is brother on the forehead. "How's have you been himechi?"

Itachi's plan worked, Sasuke was now severely pissed. "I'm not a little princess! You know what; I didn't miss you at all! Why couldn't you have stayed in California?"

Itachi only chuckled, it was so easy to get him mad, and walked away out of the kitchen.

Sasuke puffed out his cheeks in a pout, glaring at where his brother last stood.

"I sure didn't miss your bickering thought." His mother joked then stood up from the chair and followed Itachi.

The raven awoke that night to yelling. Pulling the pillow over his ears he laid back down. "They're fighting again. Always when they're together they fight.'

Sasuke tried more pillows and even blankets over his had but he could still hear them yelling. Huffing, Sasuke threw all the pillows and blankets off his head and stood. He had to do something about this.

Creeping away from his bed across the room, he opened the door a sliver and squeezed out. On his tip-toes he walked down the hall and to the kitchen door. Making sure he stayed hidden in the shadows to listen. 'Step one: find out what they're fighting about.' Little did the little raven know that that decision would change his life.

"You leave him here a lone till late at night!" his mother yelled.

"He's not a little kid anymore, he can fend for himself!" his father yelled back.

"Bu he had to cook for himself. What happens if he gets cut or burned and has to go to the hospital. What if he starts a fire? How will you know if he gets killed?"

"There's nothing I can do about it, I have to stay at work!"

"So you put work over your own son?"

"I have to work, without the money how can we pay for what we need to survive?" his father yelled defending himself.

'Why are they fighting about me?' Sasuke thought confused,

"Sasuke what are you doing up?" he heard his mother ask as she exited the kitchen.

"I couldn't sleep so I was taking a walk." He quickly lied and made it look like he was walking somewhere.

"Sasuke, how long have you been there?" his father asked following his ex-wife's voice.

"Not very long, I was coming to get a glass of water and stretch." He lied once more. 'I'm eleven why can't I tell them the truth?' he asked himself.

After a few seconds of non-stop staring at each other, Sasuke saw his parents both visible relax a little. However, they were still tense, probably from being near each other or from the earlier fight.

"All right then, but go straight back to bed after, it's late." His mother said then walked off after bending down and placing a chaste kiss on his head.

Soon, the raven was staring with his father until he too walked off to his room without saying a word to his son.

Sighing, Sasuke relaxed after tensing up under his father's stare. Without even going to get a glass of water like he said, he just walked back to his room, pondering on the fight.

Sasuke walked tiredly home from school. Due to his thoughts he got no sleep at all last night. 'Have all their fights been about me?' was one of the many questions running through his head.

Walking through the door, Sasuke noticed Itachi lying on the couch watching the television; a deck of playing cars forgotten on the ground in front of him.

"I'm home!" he yelled. Quickly his mother entered the room and went up to him giving the little raven a hug. "Welcome back." She said then walked back to what she was doing.

Soon after, Sasuke walked up to his older brother realizing that he hadn't said a word to him yet.

"Move you're blocking the television." Itachi growled narrowing his eyes in a threat.

"Say hello and maybe I will." Sasuke negotiated.

"I said move now move…or I'll make you." He put in soon after, his eyes narrowing more.

"Wow, why are you so rude today? Never mind, I didn't want it anyway." Sasuke said, now getting into he same mood as his brother.

Growling like an animal, Itachi grabbed the remote and turned off the television. Then he turned around so that his back was to Sasuke, he closed his eyes. "Whatever, I'll just sleep since I didn't get any last night. There was too much yelling. It was never like this before. "Itachi said coolly, anger forgotten.

A curious Sasuke moved closer to Itachi. 'Maybe he can answer my questions.' Sasuke thought. "Hey Itachi, what was it like before?" he asked.

"Before what…?" Itachi asked keeping his eyes shut.

"Before I was born."

"It was a lot quieter. Mother and father never fought. We were just a normal family. But now, all they do is fight over you." Itachi said frowning.

'So it was my entire fault.'

"I hate the yelling, I've tried to do something about it but they won't stop. I wish someone could fix it. That's why I think you should disappear little brother."

"What?" Sasuke asked in shock.

"It you disappeared than both mother and father would stop fighting and be happy. Don't you want them to feel happiness?" Itachi asked, finally opening one of his eyes.

"Yes." Sasuke answered hoarsely.

"Then what are you going to do?" Itachi asked, now opening both eyes fully.

As an answer Sasuke dashed off to his bedroom. Throwing open his bag, he dumped out its contents and started filling it with money, clothes, food, anything and everything that he would need to survive.

When he was done, he threw open a window and jumped out, landing gracefully on the ground since the window was on the first floor.

Standing up and fixing his bag, he ran. He ran far away from the house never looking back. 'They don't need me and I don't need them. I can fight for myself. I can talk for myself. I can live all on my own.' He told himself.

Back on the couch, Itachi heard the sound of foot steps run past the house; the sound fading away as the owner of them got father away from the house.

Itachi only smiled and then fell into a easy sleep.

End Flashback

Sasuke watched as blood dripped down his hand and into the sink. A broken vase lay on the ground in many pieces; one having the raven's blood on it.

Knowing that the crash made some noise, Sasuke quickly washed his hand and wrapped it up with a torn piece of his shirt.

Walking out of the bathroom, Sasuke entered the main room just in time for a knock at the door. After a couple of seconds, a blonde doctor with brown eyes walked in, behind her, a black-haired nurse.

"Uchiha, you ready yet?" the doctor asked rudely.

Nodding, Sasuke walked out of the room he was being kicked out of due to the need for more space. Emotionally and mentally, Sasuke was ready to be released. However, physically, he still had a fractured right wrist, but it wasn't anything he couldn't take care of himself. Not to mention the huge cut on his left hand now.

'Why do I need people's affection? I don't need Naruto's pity or happiness and I don't need his fricken friendship. It gets you nowhere but getting hurt. Than what, they blame it on me. It's always my fault; therefore, I don't need anyone just as they don't need me.'

But the sad little kid in his heart said otherwise.

There a little bit more of Naruto's past and some of Sasuke's past. Once again thanks for the reviews.