Disclaimer: I don't own naruto.

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" Hey! Wait up" Kidomaru rushed past crowds of people on the busy streets of konoha. "Hey! I said wait the fuck up!" he yelled to his rushing teammates ahead of him. "shut the fuck up! Were going to be late!" Tayuya yelled back. some of the villagers around her wore a look of disgust. Naruto laughed for no apparent reason and continued munching on a bag of candy corn.

They finally arrived at the genin academy. They ran up two flights of stairs to a room labeled 205. In front of the room two teams and two jonin covered in a genjutsu stood. A green clad genin rushed to the only to get punched painfully in the head. He fell back into the arms of his female teammate.

"Ha, headshot." chuckled naruto. He grabbed a piece of candy corn and flicked it over to the hideous green genin. The other team they recognized. It was the team they met yesterday. Sasuke stepped forward.

"Who made you the boss." he asked coolly. Tayuya scowled. This Sasuke person, obviously thought he was better than everyone else. The jonin in descise shifted on his other foot.

"Hey we just don't want any of you getting hurt." the other jonin added. "Yeah. People die in this exam."

Naruto smiled. "Sounds interesting." he popped another piece of candy corn in his mouth and headed to the next flight of stairs, Tayuya and Kidomaru following wordlessly. The blond was stopped by an arrogant voice. "What is your name."

"Sasuke, Uchiha sas-" the avenger was interrupted by a blind looking fellow. "Not you." "him." the boy pointed to naruto. Sasuke glared. Naruto turned around. "Why, little old me" he asked pointing to himself. Kidomaru smirked at the hyuuga's expression.

"Yes, you." he said annoyed. Naruto smiled. "Are you sure."

"YES!" he huffed. Naruto chewed on a piece of candy corn thoughtfully. He looked confused for a second. "Are you super sure." Neji's eye twitched in agitation. He sighed and counted to ten.

"Yes"

"Super duper."

"YES!!" he yelled. Tayuya snorted at the boys red face.

"Renjiro." he smiled with his eyes closed. Neji almost fainted. "Lets go guys. This is boring me." the now red head said. And they headed up the stairs. Ten ten turned to Neji.

"well, that was weird."

"Very." he answered. "That was the freakiest person I've ever met." he shook his head to clear his thoughts. Lee, now back to normal after that hit to the cranium, smiled and picked up the piece of candy corn naruto flicked.

"Yum candy corn."

"LEE DON'T EAT THAT! IT WAS ON THE FLOOR!"

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On the next floor, there was only one door. As they made there way over to it, naruto thought of all the possibilities that would come during the exam. He didn't like making big decisions. Behind them they could here the two other teams walking up the stairs.

"Finally the konoha genin figured it out." Tayuya responded disappointed. Kidomaru also looked disappointed. Naruto knew that they both wanted to fight a powerful opponent, and they weren't liking the konoha teams. Kidomaru gripped the door handle and opened the door.

Tayuya and Kidomarus look of disappointment turning into relief, when the door reviled a bunch of ruff looking genin. Naruto couldn't help but feel excited. He hadn't fought in a really long time. The room was in silence for some odd reason. They noticed that a group of fresh konoha genin crowded the doorway.

"This looks promising." naruto shoved his hand into the bag of candy corn. Kidomaru smirked.

"Fresh meat." he licked his lips, and his eight arms rubbed hands in an evil gesture. Tayuya crossed her arms and glared all around the room.

"Is it just me?" she asked. " Or is all the konoha teams waiting at the doorway." she said loud enough for the leaf teams to hear.

"Like trapped animals." said naruto throwing a candy corn into his mouth. He looked at her causally while chewing. "You want one." he offered holding one up to her. She took it and threw it into her mouth, ignoring the dirty looks coming from the konoha teams. They moved over to an empty spot on a wall.

Naruto looked at the crowd sitting on long desks. He spotted a flash of red hair. He looked closer to see the sand nin Gaara. Gaara noticed him too. The gourd wearing boy stared at him impassively. Naruto smiled at him and waved. He received no reaction. He tore his eyes away from the red haired boy to search the crowd. He locked eyes with a brown eyed iwa nin. The boy glared at him hatefully. He smiled at his 'worthy opponent'.

He moved from his leaning position to the iwa nins table. He sat down across from him. He barely noticed Tayuya and Kidomaru take positions at his sides. "What are you doing." Tayuya whispered into his ear. He answered smiling at the iwa nin. "Playing a game."

he took a small sealing scroll from his pocket and unsealed a chess board, plus all the pieces. Never taking his eyes off the boy in front off him he moved one of his pawns forward. "Your turn." he said. The iwa nins teammates exchanged knowing glances. They smirked.

The brown eyed boy moved one of his pawns forward also. His moves were precise and he thought them through. But then again, so did naruto. The hidden blond smirked.

"Why don't we up the stacks. every time you or I gets a piece of the opponents, the loser gets there finger cut of." he said.

The boy smirked also. "Okay." said the confident boy. Naruto's teammates were shocked.

Tayuya arched an eyebrow. "What are you planning?" she asked suspiciously. He turned to her.

"Nothing." he answered innocently. His ruby red eyes twinkled. She blinked, and his head was turned back to the chess board. After he moved any other piece, he pulled out the same sealing scroll as before. He unsealed a cigar cutter, and placed it on the table. The iwa nin stared at it confused.

"What's that for?" he asked. Naruto looked at him with a look that clearly said 'what are you crazy'.

"For the finger cutting of course. What did you think I was going to use it for." the boy blushed a dark shade of red in embarrassment. He looked back down and moved one of his knights. Naruto smirked. The blond moved his rook to take down the iwa nins knight. The boy was sweating bullets. He knew he was going to lose a finger. Naruto swiped the knight off the board and into his hand.

"Oh dear." naruto smiled. " It looks like you lost a piece." he picked up the cigar cutter from the wooden desk, and waved in the iwa nins face. The boy gulped but put his hand forward. The boy was loyal to his promises. Naruto's smile grew bigger. He took the boys index finger into the hole of the cutter. The boy closed his eyes.

"SCWELCH"

Everyone in the room looked over to see a iwa nin holding his bleeding stump of a finger, clenching his teeth. And naruto laughing with his teammates sitting across from the nin, holding a bloody cigar cutter. Naruto wiped the tears from his eyes, and sat upright in his chair.

"Shall we continue playing." he said curtly.

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"Okay then, seeing as you only have one finger left, lets just stop." naruto said smiling. He had won the game of chess. He had escaped with all of his fingers in tact. But the other boy was not so lucky. He lost all of his fingers gone, except for the pinky on his left hand. He sat up from the chair and looked out around the room of gawking people.

"Does anyone else wants to play a game of chess?" he asked.

No answer.

He shrugged and made his way back to the wall with his teammates. The other nins moved out of his way when walked by.

"SHUT UP, YOU WORTHLESS MAGGOTS!" yelled a man wearing a black bandanna, in front of the room. "TAKE A SEAT!" the ninjas rushed around to find there assigned seats. Naruto, Tayuya, and Kidomaru walked over to there seats.

The man handed everyone a paper. "This is the written portion of the exam. Each one of you will answer all nine questions, and then wait for me to tell you the tenth one."

"But what ever you do, don't cheat. You will get a point taken off each time your caught cheating. You have five points until you and your team fail." he cackled.

"You got an hour, go!" heavy scribbling was heard from pretty much everyone. Naruto sighed. An hour of boring. He took out a tub of licorice. This was going to be a long hour.

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"Team twenty two, sixty five, and ten, you fail! Now get out." ibiki yelled from his teachers desk up front. Naruto sighed once again, as the teams called walked in shame out the door. He looked down at his blank paper, and chewed on licorice whip. He laced his fingers behind his head, and stretched his arms. He was right about the hour being long. It was agony. He could spot everyone cheating in some way. Was this ibiki guy blind or something. If he was the examiner for this exam all of these genin would fail.

BEEP!

The timer went of signaling the end of the test period. "Before the tenth question, I want to include this little fact. If you get the tenth question wrong you can never become a chunin, ever." a hushed silence overcame the room. The silence was broken by a loud snort from naruto. Ibiki gave him a dirty look and continued to usher the quitters out the door.

"Pft, pussys." snorted Tayuya. Kidomaru, who was trying to balance a pencil on his nose, also chuckled. 'I wish I had some fried chicken' he thought.

Ibiki glanced around the room, and when no one else raised their hand he continued. "The tenth question is…YOU PASS!"

"Wha?" some random kid exclaimed. The sand nin, Tamari, sat up in her chair. :what do you mean we passed. What about the tenth question!" she exclaimed. Naruto blocked out the rest of the boring conversation.

CRASH

A purple haired jonin crashed threw the window, a banner following her and pining up with kunai.

"Hello kiddies, my name is Anko and I'm the second test examiner!" she looked around the room with a frown. "ibiki your skill must be dulling, you let all of these teams pass." ibiki frowned also. " their a really tough bunch." he replied. Anko smirked and looked at them.

"Well by the time I'm done with them, they be cut in half."

The room became quiet. Tayuya coughed a few times to cut the silence. Kidomaru snorted and choked on the pencil he was chewing on. Naruto proceeded to fire spit balls on the kid in front of him. Anko signaled them to follow her.

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They arrived at a dark and eerie forest. Anko led them to a chain link fence and told them to fill out some papers, and receive there scroll. Naruto took the time to evaluate the teams. The sand team they met yesterday looked pretty strong. But he knew that Gaara was running the show. Tayuya and Kidomaru could take out the other two easily. While looking around he spotted a practically weak looking team. And guess what? There leaf nin of course.

The self proclaimed leader of the team was a gruff looking boy, with a dog on his hooded head. He looked like a one trick pony. The next boy was a mysterious looking bug lover. The silent type were always the kinky ones. Bugs creped him out. The female of the team was the shy hyuuga heiress. Like he just said the silent ones were always freaks in bed. She was a stuttering mess. He smirked. 'Piece of cake, mmm..cake.' he drooled. Unforchounintly he was staring right at a certain piece of atonamy on a certain red head, while drooling about cake. What else was she supposed to think. He received a swift and hard punch to the head.

"OW, where's my cake!" he exclaimed after the painful hit, loud enough for Anko to notice.

"Hey, you kids shut the hell up! This isn't a joke! You can die in this test!" the purple haired fiend shock her fist.

"This sure sounds like a joke." naruto whispered, while unwrapping salt water taffy. Anko, angry at his nonchalant attitude, threw a kunai at his cheek. The kunai nicked him on his whisker marks, the slice healing up nicely. He shuddered at the pleasurable feeling from his whisker marks.

"Mmm..gotta love the feisty ones." he smirked at her, and snapped his fingers. Anko frowned and went back to talking, and intemenating the small genin.

Naruto, Tayuya, and Kidomaru lined up in front of the chain link fence opening, waiting for the timer to go off, so they could start. Tayuya waited impatiently tapping her foot. Naruto unlike Tayuya was smiling happily. He was a little miffed himself from all the lectures. It seemed that the instructors talked at you, not to you. Like anko, they left no room for questions. He was along the lines of an rage filled bull surrounded by brittle china.

Finally the doors swung open, and all the teams filtered into the broody forest. Naruto's team faltered for a bit and waited for the other teams to run. Kidomaru graphed out the directions they were rushing to. Then they walked through the gates.

While they were strolling, naruto noticed Tayuya's annoyed look. "Hey, tay what's eating you up?" he asked in concern. For his teams chance at passing of course. She turned to him and her glare increased.

"What's it to you, ass rag." she spat hatefully. He just smiled at her knowingly, and ate a piece of taffy. Kidomaru stared in awe.

"Where do you get all that candy?" he asked, readjusting his jaw.

Naruto unwrapped another taffy. "Magic." he replied casually. Tayuya shot him a heated look.

"First it was candy corn, then it was licorice, now its taffy, what's next." she sarcastically stated, obviously not having a good time.

"Dum dums!" the blond yelled, pulling out a bag of dum dums, the taffy disappearing.

"Great, just great." Tayuya slapped her face. Everything was a joke to this guy. She did like to consider herself having some form of humor. Even if it was containing death jokes.

They continued strolling in the forest in silence, except for Naruto's crunch munching, until they met a opponent.

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"Hmm…this spot looks good." naruto plopped down on an uncomfortable tree branch. Underneath the tree was a clearing, where Gaara was massacring a group of rain nins. From his spot on the branch he could also see the freaked out konoha team. He laid back resting on the trunk of the tree. He unsealed the sealing scroll from his scrap metal necklace, and unsealed a bag of butter covered popcorn.

He just loved dinner and a show.

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Tayuya dropped down swiftly from a tree. She looked both ways searching for the enemy nin that she felt was following her. She didn't feel a chakra signature near her. Her tensed shoulders dropped, and her eyebrows unknotted from there knitted position. She relaxed even for just a moment.

Big mistake.

A dagger flew out from bush, and whizzed past her thigh. She quickly went into a defensive position and dogged a kunai that was skillfully throw at her. A boy wearing a gas mask walked hunched over from the bush. He laughed, the exhale bouncing off the plastic and coming out as a chilling hollow laugh.

"Its looks like I caught a beauty, eh?" he asked to himself. Tayuya glared in disgust. She hated men who acted like that.

"Fuck off, asshole." she spat, and fought the erg to cross her arms. His eyes narrowed at the insult.

"a potty mouth eh?" he coked and eyebrow.

"Yah eh!" she mocked.

A clone of him formed from the mud on the ground and rushed her. She grabbed her flute and brought it to her lips

'its bought time'

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Kidomaru traveled for about two miles when he stopped. His hands fluidly ran through a few hand signs. He thrusted his palm down on the ground, and a cloud of smoke raised from it. When the cloud dispersed, a million little black spiders stood waiting for his order. He stood up and instructed the spiders to each follow one team and report back with information.

Kidomaru watched as the spiders crawled off to their assigned locations. He then hopped off to find naruto.

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Naruto once again held in a joyful laugh, when one of the rain nins was covered in sand then crushed to death. This sand nin was hilarious. Too bad no one else was laughing. He glanced down to see how the leaf team was handling. The small dog was shaking in fear, while its master was wide eyed at the bloody display of rage. The girl of the team was the worst off. She was quaking in fear, while the mysterious boy tried to comfort her. But no pat on the back could erase the images that were burned into her retinas.

Naruto uncapped a mountain dew, and took a sip. He wiped the frothy residue from his lips, and hopped down behind the leaf team. The genins didn't even notice him, they were to busy being quiet to avoid a death by sand. Naruto smirked like a fox, as he crept toward the hyuuga.

Once close enough without alerting her, he place his lips next to her ear, and whispered.

"Oh..you touch my tra la la."

She stood stock still before spinning around, with her bloodline active. Kiba, and Shino following her soon after. He scooted back a few steps back with his hands in the air.

"Hey, I come in piece." he smiled showing off his sharp canines. Kiba growled slightly. "I should kill you for scaring us like that." the dog boy snarled. Genins these days just didn't know a fierce competitor when they see it.

"Touchy. Any way, I just saw you guys and thought you needed help. You look like your in deep shit." Hinata looked appalled at his language. Did all the girls think swearing was a the worst he could do. He suddenly smiled wildly.

"Watch this." he crawled over to the bush and created a small hole in the brush so he could get a clear shot. He charged a wad of chakra to his hand until he felt it was enough. He held his mountain dew firmly and shook it up until it was just a bottle of bubbles. He aimed the bottle at the gourd wearing sand nin, and unscrewed the cap.

The sugary drink exploded outward and onto Gaara drenching the red haired boy. When the bottle empted itself onto Gaara. The red head looked down at his soaking wet cloths, and was secretly confused at why the sand didn't stop the effective attack. His teal eyes wandered over to the bush that fired the drink at him, and held up his hand for his sand to crush them.

"Bail!" naruto yelled and hightailed it out of there, not really caring about what would happen to the others.

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The forest around them was destroyed, mostly from Tayuya's doki. She landed softly on a tree branch panting. This guys clones where all most indestructible. Each time she got a hit, the damn things would just reform. She grimaced when she shifted onto her right foot. Rippling pain ripped from her wound on her side. She brought her flute up to her lips ready for battle when a shadow jump down from the trees.

The sun reviled naruto holding up the beaten up nin she was fighting. She relaxed and let her hand drop to her side.

"need some help." he said smugly. She frowned at his tone and walked up to him. "Shut..the…fuck…up." she panted without her usual venom. "What scroll does…he have." she pointed at the nin and leaned back on a tall tree to rest. Naruto licked his lips and held up an earth scroll. She smiled in satisfaction, Just the scroll they needed.

Kidomaru arrived out of the bushes and leaned on a tree like Tayuya had done. "my spiders are tracking the other teams and there accomplishments." he said, and then shuddered. "did you guys feel that?"

"Yeah. Its Orochimaru's chakra, he's fighting that chicken haired kid." Tayuya replied kicking some dirt with her heal. Naruto turned to where two trees parted and reviled the glistening moon rising up over the under brush, and he sighed in relief. He plopped down on the cold ground and rubbed his temples with his finger tips. Konoha sure was a stressful place.

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Chapter 6 will follow soon after, probably because of my boredom. I personally think this chapter isn't very good…but I posted it anyway

Review!!