Author's Notes: It's a LONG chapter, but like all the chapters, it's well worth the read. At least you'll see Kyle hitting the two ends of the spectrum in terms of emotions.
Tender
Stan's POV
Good thing we've left Daniel & Miles in the vehicle for now. I bet my life that they wouldn't wanna hear Kyle in this state – I haven't heard him talk this angry since...well...since we were kids.
"Are you having a fucking joke?" He says – absolutely stunned at what the teacher is trying to calmly tell us from across her desk.
To recap if I can, 10 minutes ago, as soon as me and Kyle met up at the kindergarten, we were met by our boys' teacher again. After guiding us to her office just outside of the main classroom, she sat us down and explained to us what happened. Aparently it was just a simple case of someone saying something nasty to Miles which ended up in Miles crying and Danilel...punching the boy who said the bad thing, in the face. But it's what THAT boy had said and it's what the teacher did afterwards that's left me really confused and uncomfortable...and t's left Kyle blowing steam out his ears.
"Do you tolerate bullying and abusive language in your classroom may I ask Mrs. Roseley?" Kyle says with a serious face and arms crossed.
"Absolutely not sir. We expect all the kids to behave and respect one another in the classroom."
"WELL...it seems to me that you're punishing our son rather than THAT little...y'know...the boy who said that dispicable thing to my boy."
"If you'll excuse me sir, your boy punched that kid in the face...and in the nose to be more specific."
"THAT kid said something that made my biy cry."
"Yes, we're not excusing his language as acceptable."
"Teh, well it seems to me that you're ignoring the obvious here!"
"Sir, please...this is a kindergarten...not a shouting arena."
Kyle takes a deep breath as I simply sit there in silence. "Sorry...I'm just so angry that boys of that age can...can...can say something so vile and disgraceful at such a young age...and to my son of all people."
"What did he say if I may ask?" I finally let out some speech. "I haven't been told of it yet..." Kyle looks at me and sighs. He obviously knows that I'm not gunna like what I'm about to hear...which can only mean that whatever I'm about to hear IS bad.
"Sir..." The teacher looks at me. "Roger, the boy who called your son names..."
"Called?! More like bullied and abused..." Kyle butts in and quietens again.
The teacher continues. "He called your son...ahem...if I'm saying this correctly...he called your son Miles, a Fagling."
"WHAT?!" I'm both confused AND shocked. "Fagling?!"
"Go on, tell him what you've done to resolve this...go on...tell him Mrs. Roseley..." Kyle demands – again, he already knows what's coming here.
"Sir...we've limited your son Daniel to the naughty corner for the next few days and we've limited him to only one cookie for the whole week this week."
"And what about this Roger kid?" I ask as Kyle rolls his eyes. Oh God, I'm guessing this isn't gunna be good news.
"As for Roger..." She begins. "We've asked him to apologize..."
Silence. "And..." I ask.
"Well...that's it. Roger's said sorry so the problem's solved."
"Solved...SOLVED?!" Kyle looks as if he's about to jump over the table and grab the teacher by the neck. "You're punishing Daniel for protecting his brother...and this Roger gets nothing but a friggin' slap on the wrist. What the hell are you thinking? If anybody needs to be punished...it's that disrespectful little...you know."
"Sir, the kid probably doesn't know what that word means..."
"Peh...yeh and I'm sure he doesn't know what it means to make someone cry too."
"...but your son Daniel punched him in the face. I honestly didn't see anything wrong with what Roger said."
"ANYTHING wrong? Have you been living in a hole for the last 5 years." Kyle grabs my hand and shoes the rings around both our fingers. "Incase you haven't already realised...we two are happily married."
"And..."
"AND...it means we're gay. And it's pretty obvious that any kid is gunna see our two boys as being of the same sexuality...so of course you're gunna have kids saying words like...URRRK...'fagling' – God I hate anything beginning with those three letters – I've already heard that hate-word enough already today."
"Well I'm sorry if it's offended you or your kids in anyway, so I'll make sure that respect in my class is kept no matter what sexual background your boys are."
"THEY'RE NOT GAY YOU STUPID WOMAN!" Kyle yells – which even surprises him as he covers his mouth. I breathe deeply and speak in a calm and gentle voice.
"Mrs. Roseley, I understand the circumstances you found yourself in and I probably would have done the same thing in your shoes. But all we're asking is that you make sure ALL anti-gay bullying is never seen in your classroom and that our boys don't get abused just because of their background."
"OK sir, I will. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some paperwork to finish off. The door's over there..."
5 Minutes Later
Kyle's POV
Thank God I've calmed down – I don't think I've ever yelled like that in such an isolated room like that before. I don't know what came over me in there – yes, I am kinda pissed off at the fact that THAT kid got off lightly with what he said...but I guess I have to get used to this. Our boys are growing up and they're gunna be called names all the time in school and whatnot in a couple of years time, so I guess it's just matter of hoping that the days go by without any problems. And as soon as me and Stan are back in the vehicle, we both turn around to view our boys who look as if we're about to give them a yelling.
"Boys...about what happened today at kindergarten – let's just forget about it, OK?"
"Are we in twouble daddy?" Miles asks me.
"No, of course not..."
"But Daniel..." Stan begins. "...next time, don't punch anybody if they say something like that again..."
"What, you mean 'fagling'?" Daniel asks to which Miles looks as if he's about to cry again.
"Daniel...NO...don't ever say that word again, that's naughty."
"Sowwy daddy, but if it's such a naughty word...what does it mean?"
Me and Stan look at each other with startled faces. "Look...how about we tell you after some lunch when we get back home."
"YAY!" Both boys shout in delight as me and Stan turn back around. I touch the ignition button on the touch-screen and off we go, back home. "And daddy..."
"Yes Miles..." I look into the mirror to view my son.
"What's a Mommy?!"
Jeez, how ARE we gunna explain this one as well to our boys. I guess it has to be done though – they HAVE to know because it's better than them realising what it means by accident. Me and Stan love our boys enough to tell them even the most complicated of things. I just hope that they'll understand enough for them to stay happy. Obviously, we won't go into too much detail, I know that, but as long as me and Stan know we've mentioed THIS...then I guess we can sleep easy for at least the next 2 or 3 years. I realise now that it's not JUST about me and Stan now – it's about our boys too.
Tender is the night lying by your side,
Tender is the touch of someone that you love too much.
Tender is the day the demons go away,
Lord I need to find, someone who can heal my mind.
Stan's POV
2 Hours Later
After a delicious meal of Pasta that Kyle had prepared and made, we sit the boys down on the couch and me and Kyle sit at either seats on each side of the couch – turning them so that they face the couch.
"Now then boys...do you know why we wanna have a talk with you?" Kyle says
"Because you wanna tell us something?" Miles replies.
"Yes...and it's something that we have to explain VERY carefully...so I want both you and your brother to pay close attention to what you say."
"OK" They both say in sync – obviously on the edge of the seats as to what we're about to say.
Come on, Come on, Come on,
Get through it!
Come on, Come on, Come on,
Love's the greatest thing!
"Do you remember from before that you asked us what a mommy is?"
"YEP!"
"Well…boys……in every family……there's a mommy and a daddy. And whenever a mommy and a daddy love each other very much, they decide to…look after…either a boy or a girl."
"Ooooooooh……so…do we have a mommy as well?"
I look over to Kyle with an unsure look on my face. He nods and decides to take over.
"Well…boys. A long time ago, your mommy found thought that she wouldn't be able to take care of you two because…well…she was too sick to do that."
"Sick…why was mommy sick daddy?"
Now Kyle looks unsure at what to say next and there's no way that I'm any clearer in what to say. "We don't know – nobody knows son. But all we do know is that she let me and your daddy to take care of you instead. So from now on, instead of having a mommy and a daddy, you have two daddies instead. Do you understand?"
"Yep!" Daniel says in acceptance at what we've told him. But Miles looks less sure.
"So……will we ever get to see our mommy ever?"
Again, me and Kyle look at one another – unsure on how to answer. "Maybe son……maybe." I say – hoping that's enough to distract them from the REAL truth."
"OK, so me and Miles have two daddies instead of a mommy."
"Exactly…"
"Well that's good – girls are stupid and smelly anyway." Daniel says with a smile which makes Miles laugh too.
And as soon as we give them each an after-lunch giant cookie, we let them watch some TV as me and Kyle move into the kitchen.
Come on, Come on, Come on,
Get through it!
Come on, Come on, Come on,
Love's the greatest thing…
That we have.
I'm waiting for that feeling,
Waiting for that feeling…
Waiting for that feeling to come.
Daniel's POV
Well at least I know what a mommy is now. I was starting to get really confused about what a mommy really is. Now that I think about it, it's funny how me and Miles were the only ones in class earlier today that didn't know what a mommy is – if what daddy and pops said is true, then maybe all those other kids knew who and what their mommy was and looked like. Oh I wish I knew who my mommy was – I wanna ask her about why she decided to 'look after me' – especially with daddy. Wait a minute, if daddy said that he and mommy decided together to look after me, then that means that he knew who my mommy was. Oh man, why didn't I ask daddy that – surely daddy would have known who my mom was. But even if he did, why would he let mommy just disappear just because she couldn't look after me. GAH, I'm too confused – an hour of cartoons should make my head all happy again.
"Daniel…" Miles asks – grabbing the remote and immediately flicking to pops' cartoon channel. "Do you think Alex knows about what a mommy is as well? He has two daddies as well y'know."
Oh yeh, I forgot about that. There was me, Miles AND Alex who didn't know what a mommy was in class today – silly me. "I dunno bwo……I wonder if his daddies have told him what a mommy is."
"Pwobawy…" He flicks to KBSM Jr. YAY, our favourite show's on.
"Well maybe they've told him where his mommy went..."
"What do you mean bwo?"
"What I mean is that maybe Alex's daddies have told him why his mommy couldn't take care of him – maybe they know what happened to his mommy."
"YEH! Do you 'fink our daddies know what happened to our mommy?"
"I dunno – maybe."
"Well how about we keep this as a secwet investigation, bwo..." Miles giggles. "We could be like...SUPER secwet undercover detectives withou' our daddies knowing."
Ha ha, I like that idea. "Yeh, that sounds so cool. Let's find out without our daddies knowing."
"Agweed."
Kyle's POV
"I'd like to know what they're thinking now" Stan says to me as we stand by the fridge-freezer out of the boys' sight. "Do you think that stopped them thinking about it enough...for now?"
"Stan...relax...they're only 5 years old – they're not gunna start suspecting things. Let's just make sure we don't let them find out too much yet."
"Yeh...yeh yer' right. I don't wanna worry y'know...I really don't."
"I know you don't Stan...I'm concerned too. But I guess what's happened today has took us all by surprise...even me. We just gotta make sure we're a lot more careful about what we do and what we say. No more pointing out the 'obvious' whilst they're around."
"What..."
"Don't worry..." I smirk. "There's still plenty we CAN do in the bed that they won't know about." I look back at him...but no smile is given back to me – only a frown of worry. I guess that was a bad move for me.
I walk over to the kitchen entracne and look back into the living room to see our two boys laughing and enjoying themselves, sitting on the couch watching TV. I guess it's times like this that make me really think about the fact that me and Stan have our boys to look after now – it's not about US as a couple anymore, but it's now about US as a family.
Oh my baby, Oh my baby!
Oh why…oh my!
Suddenly, the digital screen on the nearby phone starts ringing. I pick up the blue-tooth headphone and place it in my ear – touching the green button on the screen that says 'Answer' and then the blue one that says 'Headphone'.
"Hey...wasssup Kyle." Kenny shouts into my ear with his usual silly 'Hi' voice.
"Oh...hi Kenny..."
"So...how was first day of kindergarten for the two boys then – c'mon, I got 20 imaginary bucks riding on you saying that they didn't blow it up."
I smile and grab a nearby stool and sit down on it as I look into the screen. And as Stan walks over to the other end of the kitchen to begin putting all of lunch's plates and whatnot into the dish-washer, I continue with the phone conversation. "No Kenny, they were alright today – it was only before lunch that they couldn't stop telling us how much fun it was making a train-track all day long."
"Ah well as long as they weren't train-spotting, then I guess I can classify that as a good thing, right?"
"Yeh, I guess you can."
"Well that's good...I was worried for a minute you were gunna say one of them had done something like punched another kid in the face." My smile drops and I look down slightly with an unsure look that Kenny can completely see over the screen-link.
"Ooooooo...AH...wrong thing to say."
"Well...it's something that I'd rather not speak about out-loud."
"Ah no worry, I understand Kyle."
"Actually...it's something we need to talk to you about."
"OH...so it's THAT type of 'don't wanna say out-loud' kind of things huh?"
"Not exactly."
"OH-HO...a new type eh? Well, I'll be all-ears. How about you tell me about it next Saturday."
"Saturday?"
"Yeh, I'm having a MAMMOTH cook-out and barbecue 'round my place on Saturday – it'd be great if you and the family could come, my family and lots of other people will be there. Besides, I need someone with a strong voice to help me shout with, to everybody who says my food and cooking is shit."
I laugh. "Of course, we'll be there. Give me all the details tomorrow."
"Alright Kyle...take care."
"Bye Kenny..." And with that, the screen returns to its crystal blue main menu mode.
Stan's POV
6 Hours Later
Tender is the ghost,
The ghost I love the most.
Hiding from the sun,
Waiting for the night to come.
I'm not feeling myself tonight as I lay in bed naked as usual. Despite the fact that I've got the duvet cover AND the sheets over me, I've still got this worrying chill flowing down my spine which I've never felt before. And as I have my body positioned so that I'm looking outwards rather than inwards, I can feel Kyle behind me trying to tempt me into one of those sorts of night again.
"Come on Stan……how about I help you warm that cold lil' body up?"
"Kyle…please……I just wanna get some sleep, that's all…I'm fine."
"Awwww…come on my love…I know you're cold."
"I said I'm fine."
Oh God, I can feel Kyle getting closer………too close tonight. "But I KNOW you really want it Stan."
And then suddenly…even to my shock as well…I snap. "KYLE…STOP IT!" I yell as I look back at him with an angered look which scares him slightly. "Oh Christ…I need a drink." I say – getting out of bed and putting the pair of jeans I took off and left on the floor. Walking over the door, I can see Kyle staring into space – still shocked at my out-burst as if I wasn't ME just now.
Tender is my heart,
I'm screwing up my life.
Lord I need to find,
Someone who can heal my mind.
5 Minutes Later
I'm so awake that I actually remembered this time to NOT get some ice from the fridge-freezer this time – it makes too much noise at night and I don't wanna wake up the boys. And after a quick glass of water, I look out the window into nothing and let my mind go off on one of those random-thought processes. But my mind stays focused enough to let me see Kyle's reflection in the window.
I turn around and see Kyle standing by the kitchen entrance dressed in his dressing-gown. "Stan……I know something's up."
"Then why do you pretend like you DON'T. Do you really think that by ignoring the obvious, everything's gunna be alright." I don't want this to end up in an argument, I really DON'T. But my uncontrolled voice lets that out in an annoyed fashion and I know it's too late to calm myself down.
"Stan, what the hell are you talking about?"
"Ha, see…you DON'T know what's up."
"Oh wait…are you still worried about what the boys might think about US after what's happened today."
"Worried? WORRIED?! I'm friggin' scared Kyle. Don't you realize how wrong this could all go?"
"Yes I do…but unlike you, I'm not worried about what bad things could happen. Stan…you need to lighten up."
"No, YOU need to lighten up Kyle!"
"Oh Stan, now you're being childish."
"Am I? Here you are acting all happy and smiley and simply ignoring the reality of what's going on around here."
"What the HELL are you talking about Stan."
"Like you don't know!" I walk up to Kyle as I look directly into his eyes. "Like it or not…they're gunna find out sooner or later why they don't have a mother to look after them and they have US instead."
"Stan……YES they will learn the truth…but they will come to terms with it all."
"And what if they don't – have you thought about what they might do when they're older. They could run away or not speak to us or they could……they……"………
Kyle's POV
Suddenly, Stan collapses onto the nearby cabinet and starts crying. "Stan……" I take hold of him and rest his teary face on my chest. "It's nothing to get upset about. I know now why you feel like you do."
"Yeh……and hopefully now YOU realize just how serious this is too." He says in a tear-drenched voice.
"I'm not saying it ISN'T……but you need to learn to not worry Stan." I lift his head gently so that he's looking back at me. I wipe away the remaining tears from his face and speak softly. "We'll get through this…I swear it."
"And…you promise that…you'll help me tell the boys the proper truth sooner or later?"
"I promise." To which I give him a huge loving hug and he rests his head just below my shoulder again. "Now come on…let's get back to bed."
Come on, Come on, Come on,
Get through it!
Come on, Come on, Come on,
Love's the greatest thing!
And as soon as I've removed my gown and helped Stan out of his trousers, we're back in bed – close together just like we were 5 minutes ago.
"As a matter of fact, I am kinda cold." Stan says as he shivers slightly.
"Well here, let me help yer' warm up." To which I move up as close as I can possibly get and I wrap my body around his – allowing all the warmth in my body to flow through his too.
"Ah…you sure know how to make me feel better Kyle." Stan whispers in a soft tone.
"I always have and I always will Stan – I love you that much because I care about you." Stan turns his head 'round slightly and I give him a gentle and slow kiss on the cheek. "I know what you're thinking…and I understand. We can just sleep tonight with my warmth around you."
Come on, Come on, Come on,
Get through it!
Come on, Come on, Come on,
Love's the greatest thing…
That we have.
I'm waiting for that feeling,
Waiting for that feeling…
Waiting for that feeling to come.
"Thanks Kyle……let's get through this…for our boys…ok?"
"OK…now let's get some sleep." And that's exactly how we stay for the entire night – with my body and the warmth inside me wrapped around my love Stan.
Author's Comments: Phew……I guess this is the start of the actual storyline theme behind this story – the boys actually finding out about everything that they want and need to know progressively over time. There'll be plenty more of these kinds of chapters later on in the story as you would expect, so make sure you're ready for it.