So... why do I suddenly enjoy or am no bothered by being around vampires?
All through that third book, I was constantly complaining about the way they smelled and I wanted to rip all the Cullens into itty bitty shreds. And now I'm acting as the psychic-midget's headache medicine?!
Hmmm.. let's see.. I accept clothes from the blood suckers, I eat food made by the blood suckers, I sleep in the house that is lived in by the blood suckers, I am warning the blood suckers of impending doom from Sam and all of those people.
I am not that much a forgiving person, so why the fuck am I Team I've Come To Your Blood all of the sudden? Can there be an epic battle scene in which I rip off Cullen's head, Bella begs for an abortion, then rides away on my giant werewolf back into the sunset?
Why am I suddenly a very uninteresting character? I mean, hell, I'm so interesting I'm badass because of my sarcastic remarks about Dr. Fang and the Cullenites, and now I'm all mushy sappy gross?
I'm ordering a custom shirt that says 'Jacob Black' on the front and 'Now in Excedrin Flavor' on the back.