Chris Carter and 1013 Productions own the X-Files. JK Rowling, Warner Brothers and Scholastic own Harry Potter. All I own is this story line, every Harry Potter DVD and an almost complete collection of X-Files DVD's.
A/N This story is set anytime during Sorcerers Stone through Prisoner of Azkaban of HP (although it contains information in all the books) and after X-Files episode "Emily", but before "Requiem".
SOMETIME IN THE FUTURE
Dana, reminiscing: Mulder and I had been working together for several years when we were called to investigate a case which was a little out of the ordinary for us. What made this case so unusual, was that we were there by the request of an individual who was himself, for all intents and purposes, an X-File, and we went to investigate one of his own kind.
POTIONS CLASSROOM
HOGWARTS
To Snape's dismay, they arrived at the classroom with too long to spare. He half-hoped to lose her during the walk, but Dumbledore would never have stood for that. His next best idea was to arrive just before the students did. But she easily kept up the pace he had set, and now they had time on their hands. He turned to look at her, and she was walking slowly along the edge of the classroom, hands in the pockets of her duster, looking at the specimens in jars. She had seen plenty of medical specimens in her med school days, not to mention the creatures she had seen since being assigned to the X-Files, and not much repulsed her. She paused at one jar with a single white worm in it, a few inches long. Snape thought he saw her turn a little pale, but she turned to look at him through the dim light, one eyebrow raised.
"This specimen is dead, isn't it?"
"Of course. Why do you ask?" His voice sounded suspicious.
"I saw something like this once. If it were alive, contact would be lethal..." Her voice trailed off and she shuddered slightly. She was remembering the scientists who had lost first their sanity, then their lives to this infection. "Anyway. It's possible that You Know Who has some connection, or access to Hogwarts. What can you tell me about the relationships with the families. Anyone who might want to make trouble?"
"Every school has its share of malcontents. However, it's an honor to be invited to attend Hogwarts. Nobody is forced to come here, and parents are free to remove their chldren if they please. It doesn't seem likely that parents would want to put their own children in danger."
"What security systems are set up to ensure the safety of the staff and students?"
"Various charms and spells which would be too difficult to explain to somebody without a background in magic."
He was deliberately baiting her. She nodded and asked, "Would you give me a for-instance?"
"For instance, to put it in muggle terms, it is impossible to appear and disappear from the Hogwarts grounds. In other words, vanish."
"Yes, yes, I understood." Naturally. Of course they can vanish if they want to. Only not from here. Makes perfect sense.
At this the first students began to trickle in. She quietly took the seat Snape pointed out to her at the side of the classroom, being careful to brush off the stool first.
After a brief introduction, "Special Agent Dana Scully, from the FBI. From the United States, in case you can't figure it out." Snape began teaching. Scully observed he was a tough teacher. He expected the students to come to class prepared, and did not tolerate nonsense or disrespect. They were practicing spells and making potions, and Scully was facinated, in spite of herself.
The class reminded her a little of her pharmacology classes in med school. She found herself thinking that she would like to have more information on things like metabolism, half-life, contraindications...
After she had lost the thread of the lecture, Scully peered around the classroom, trying not to stare. This room, with its stone walls and flickering torches, was a far cry from the government-sterile rooms where she herself had taught at Quantico. Her classroom had had standard-issue green paint over wallboard, the ubiquitous flurescent lights, a few computers, a whiteboard, and a worktable to demonstrate post-mortem exams to her eager students. This classroom, despite its eerie, dungeon-like atmosphere, had style.
At one point, one of the students answered a question wrong, and Snape was ready to make a caustic remark, but out of the corner of his eye he happened to notice Scully gazing at him and showing an interest in the subject matter, and suddenly felt unequal to abusing the students while she looked at him like that. Instead, he assigned a drill for homework punishment. The students looked at each other surreptitiously. That punishment was quite lenient by Potions standards.
After this class was a second, more advanced and doing more complicated potions. Scully wondered, with mild amusement, what the DEA would have thought of minors being taught to make powerful and dangerous chemicals. Oh well. She was only here to investigate murders--not determine the legality or appropriateness of wizard educational practices.
The second class ended, and it was time for lunch. The students filed out, and Snape gestured towards his office, up a small flight of stairs to the left of the door where the students entered. Scully entered, and laughed a little. Snape turned to look at her.
"This looks a lot like ther office Mulder and I use--you know, things strewn around, papers and books..." she explained. And windowless, she thought, and in the basement. She could relate to that. Yet, she wondered who he had ticked off to merit such a crappy location. Not that she had room to talk, but at least she and Mulder had a skylight.
Snape had never thought about muggle offices or the clutter they might accumulate. He never really gave them much thought at all. He shrugged.
Scully continued, "Why don't we go outside to eat? It's such a beautiful day."
Snape thought about refusing, then shrugged again, and agreed. They climbed to a little round turrett, with stone benches all around the inside. She was quiet again as they ate, but then she took a sip of her drink and muttered, "quality control."
"I beg your pardon?"
She shook her head. "I was watching your students, all their bowls--"
"Cauldrons," he interuppted.
"Cauldrons, then. Anyway, they all looked a little different, some of them even had to be discarded. It's very precice, what you do. The temperature has to be just right, it has to be stirred properly, it needs to come to the right consistency. And working with fresh ingredients is a challenge for standardization purposes." She lapsed back into silence, thinking.
Snape looked at her, stunned and more than a little impressed. These were the principles that he tried to teach the students, not always with success, but this muggle already understood. He was almost sorry he had placed her near Longbottom on purpose.
"I was impressed with your students," she continued. "I only ever taught adults."
"You're a teacher?"
"Not anymore, but I taught forensic pathology at Quantico. The study of bodies for clues to solve crimes."
He hadn't known what forensic pathology was and was glad she explained, because he didn't want to ask her. He also didn't know what a "Quantico" was, but he could find out on his own if he wanted to.
"But here's something I don't understand. Why do all the students need to know how to make potions? Don't wizards specialize? Does everybody need to know every skill?"
"We do specialize, Agent Scully. However, at Hogwarts we believe that by the time students graduate, they need to be prepared to defend themselves in case of attack."
"Is your world such a dangerous place, then?" she asked.
"It can be. It's better to be prepared."
Scully sat staring over the forest. Then she spoke.
"You're uncomfortable having muggles around, aren't you?" It was the first time she had said the unfamiliar word out loud and felt a little silly doing it.
Snape looked directly into her eyes, and Scully returned his look eye for eye. Snape seemed to be judging, considering.
"Agent Scully, I've been against this joint venture from the start. We avoid muggles for a reason. You two were chosen because you have some knowledge of things outside your own world, and you have shown that you know when to be discreet." Scully nodded and shrugged.
"I think it remains to be seen which of us is the more vulnerable," she replied. Snape had no answer for this.
"It would be interesting however," said Scully, reverting to her earlier topic, "to see how these potions would appear on a tox screen."