Thanks for the reviews people I appreciate them!
Warning: somewhat graphic violence/ morbid stuff kinda...rape…kinda
Disclaimer: still in place…also some of the ideas for this chapter came from Neon Genesis Evagelion, which I don't own as well!
Bold: flashback
It was black, yet he could see again. His body wasn't restrained, and Sieto was no where to be seen.
"I'm dead…aren't I?" He didn't know if he was asking it to himself or if he actually expected someone to be there.
"Wrong, you're just in your mind."
Naruto wasn't startled by this new voice with new information, he guessed he was expecting it. But one thing he wasn't expecting was a mirror, grimy and shattered, to appear in front of him.
"What is this…?" asked Naruto to this new voice, though he wouldn't call it new, it did sound familiar.
"This mirror symbolizes both your mind and your heart. They're broken and torn right now, so you don't know what to do or what you want. With your mind forced with this sort of situation, you've lost all awareness of yourself and so you've decided to take the easy way out and just die."
"How do you know so much about what's in my mind."
"Because I am apart of your mind, you didn't actually think I'd disappear so easily did you. I've always been here, watching behind your eyes and listening with your ears." The voice spoke, its body coming up to press against Naruto's and looking into the shattered mirror as well.
"Kyuubi…" Naruto weakly stated as he stared into the red eyes of Kyuubi's burning with the desire to live.
"You may want to die like this, but I on the other hand cannot allow you to throw away your life so carelessly. I promised you mother that…"
"You were with me, when my mother was alive?" Naruto asked confused.
"Everyone has a split personality within them, it depends on the person's heart though if that split personality is brought out. For example, with you, it was caused by you're mother's neglection of you." Kyuubi explained.
"What are you talking about you were never there when that happened, I had no reason to create you, or bring you out or whatever!" Naruto yelled, but the loud cracking of the mirror interrupted him.
"Once again, you're going against what your heart and mind know as the truth. By doing this you go against yourself and therefore are no longer yourself. I was created in the memory of company. You no longer wanted to be alone so you made me. However, as you grew older and got more friends around you, I became obsolete and disappeared from reality, but stayed in your mind."
"What do you mean, when I was…?" Naruto stopped himself as repressed memories from his childhood came back into his mind.
Flashback
"Mommy…why won't you acknowledge me anymore?" a little Naruto asked his mother trying to keep eye contact with her own blue eyes but they kept moving away. "Mommy…." He whined.
All she did was push him off the side of the bed that his small hands were leaning on and pick up the stuffed fox that lay near her pale hand.
"Naruto, now remember when daddy comes home to give him a big hug and kiss all right?"
"Mommy, you're crying!" The boy informed, reaching a hand up to wipe away the water, only for it to be slapped away.
"Who are you little boy, how did you get in here? You know it's polite to knock before entering." She informed sweetly like a mother should but that's not what bothered Naruto.
"B-but mommy…I'm Naruto! I'm your son!" he yelled but was ignored as his mother started rocking the animal in her hands back and forth like a cradle.
"Mommy!" Naruto whined once again, tears now adorning the rims of his big blue eyes, ready to spill at any moment and yet he kept them in.
"Nurse?" Naruto's mom yelled but by the time they got to the door, Naruto had run out of the room with the tears he tried so hard to keep in, falling down his face.
'I'm all alone now but I don't want to be! I want someone I can talk too, laugh and smile with!' Naruto yelled in his mind before stopping where he was. A small mirror perched on a wall in front of him.
'Is it because of how I look, or am I being a bad boy, maybe that's why everyone is leaving me?' Naruto pondered in his head as he ran a small yet slightly chubby hand down his face, neck, and then his chest, stopping on his heart. 'That's got to be it, mommy's just ignoring me because I've been a bad boy, but if I turn into a good boy, then she'll have to start paying attention to me for sure!' he thought proud of himself as he changed into the little boy his mother might be proud of herself.
End Flashback
Naruto stood shocked at his broken reflection; the more he seemed to remember though, the more pieces of the mirror shattered.
"From that point on, you acted upon a different self. You acted upon it so much that it became a second nature to you to use it and thus you created a split personality."
"Then why…why don't I remember any of the time you were in control. I should, shouldn't u, you are a part of my mind right?"
"Yes but only to a certain degree, because I am part of your mind that experienced all the time in your life that you yourself did not want to face, therefore, those memories are kept away from you."
"Why?" he asked softly.
"To protect you, this pressure of this type of life could and can easily crush a person's mind, but even with my help, it seems like we can't escape that fate." Kyuubi stated, running a hand down the shattered glass pieces, some falling out of their places and falling to the black floor where the shattered into the little glass dust.
Turning to Kyuubi, Naruto grabbed a hold of him tightly, the memories of the situation he was in right now coming to his mind. "Please Kyu…I don' wanna die." He replied in a child voice, more pieces from the mirror falling to the ground and breaking.
"Your mind really I falling apart faster than I expected. I guess I have no choice them." Kyuubi sighed stroking thee now child yet grown Naruto's hair.
"Kyu…" Naruto whispered as he was lowered to the ground by Kyuubi who continued to stroke his blonde hair.
"It's all right, just sleeps. I'll take over the rest." He said as Naruto was lured into sleep.
"I don't know how much time I have before you're mind completely falls apart."
"What's the matter kid, I thought you said you wanted to die, if that's so then beg for it!" Sieto growled, releasing his grip on Naruto beck, some bruise marks already forming.
"Not a fucken…c-chance bastard!" Kyuubi yelled as his part of the mind took over, the real Naruto sleeping peacefully within his own mind.
"So you're back…Kyuubi." Sieto stated, a smirk quickly growing as he held in his laughter.
"Haven't talked to you in awhile, how have you been?" Kyuubi asked in a sarcastic voice, like he really gave a crap.
"Now now I think that's enough with the greeting, the one I got eight years was fine enough." Sieto said, smirk dropping into a frown. "Look, just make the stupid brat tell me where she is!" he yelled in annoyance.
"You know I can't do that, I promised this boy's mother I would protect him no matter what!"
"So you're saying that getting out of everyday life that everyone else has to go through is protecting this brat. After what he did he deserves to die!" Sieto growled out.
"This isn't something everyone faces in everyday life, and besides, what happened in the past wasn't Naruto's fault, it was your own fault and you know it! Why couldn't you understand that by murdering Naruto's father you'd cause her pain she didn't need or want, your own selfish greed did this and now you're paying for it because even now you still can't understand why?" Kyuubi yelled shaking his head violently back and froth in order to get the blindfold to perhaps loosen a bit and fall off.
"Shut-up, what would you have done if the one you loved was taken away by the one you hate!" Sieto yelled kicking Kyuubi in the ribs.
"M-move on!" Kyuubi coughed out along with blood before continuing. "If you really love someone you can move on knowing that that person is happy, even id that person isn't beside you!" Kyuubi yelled before receiving another blow to the ribs,
"What do you know, you just a split personality with bits and pieces of memories, you don't even lead your own life, you're never around long enough to create bonds of your own with the people you've meet on your own. You only react from the experiences that the brat has had but what about your own. Do you even know the feeling of happiness when you only come out when it's too painful for the other to take it? You say what seems like the best decision yet you have no really experience in the matter, it's all in your mind, the other believes you're real and apart of life…but you-.."
"Shut-up!" Kyuubi yelled having heard enough of the man's stupid explanations.
Growling like an animal, Sieto ripped off Kyuubi's blindfold starring at him right in the eye. Crimson against black.
"In the other believing you're real, you believe that you yourself are real, thus creating a split personality yet both goes back to the same person. The mind is the most complex organ in the body and the true possibilities of the mind are incomprehensible even to the mind itself." Sieto explained on.
"So then what exactly are you trying to say, that the mind creates stuff just for the fun of it?"
"No, I'm saying that you're useless, you can do nothing about this because you are nothing but the creation of the mind to begin with." He stated simply.
"Shut-up I know the depth of my capabilities!" Kyuubi yelled trying to struggle yet his body wouldn't respond.
"See, you're not real, nothing is happening."
'Move damnit move! I am real, in my own mind and Naruto's. I made a promise to her…I made a promise to her and I intend to keep it!" he yelled as his body finally began moving, the straight jacket only tightening with his efforts.
"Stop it! With this kind of strain on the body and mind, you yourself will snap along with the other's already broken mind, leaving nothing but a life size doll."
"You just don't want something like that to happen, because you'll never get your answers." Kyuubi laughed.
"You!" Sieto yelled grabbing a hold of the restrained boy's neck. "No wonder the brat couldn't answer, you know the answers don't you, where is she?"
"I don't know, and neither will you." He said smirking even without oxygen in his body.
"What, why!" he yelled, violently shaking the boy who stared to cough for air.
"Cause you're right…the other's mind is now completely shattered and broken therefore I have to disappear along…with everything else." He explained in between coughs.
"What…?"
"It's like you said I'm not an actual human, but that doesn't mean I'm immortal either right?" he asked with a hint of bitter joy in his voice.
"Shut-up! What are you talking about!?" he yelled completely confused out of his mind, he thought the boy was growing delusional, wither that or all of this had finally made him go insane.
Insanity was usually considered a defining point of a person's mind; it could be a blessing or a curse. But in this case, which on could it be considered?
Weakly, Kyuubi stuck out his tongue as his eyes slowly started to close, the red becoming dull in color. "Sucks for you, looks like you won't ever get what you desire after all."
Finally, the lack of oxygen caught up with the blonde boy as his eyes fully shut. The boy was now neither Naruto nor Kyuubi, just a doll.
Releasing his grip on the now unconscious boy, Sieto untied him from the straight jacket and let him fall to the ground.
The soft rising and falling of his chest told him that the boy wasn't dead yet not alive and awake either. The shallow breathing and the pale skin probably meant that he was in a coma. But with the fragile state of mind he was in, would he ever awake?
Gritting his teeth in annoyance and anger, Sieto wanted to hit the idiotic boy for this whole thing but didn't, what good would it do?
Growling, Sieto turned around to leave but stopped soon after.
"Naruto!"
The raven eyes widened as he saw the blonde boy on the floor, face pale and small specks of blood adorned his features.
Glaring at the now stiff Sieto he made to run for the boy but was beat to it by the white-haired lady from earlier.
"Wait a min-…"
"Naruto!" she yelled already at the boy's side, soon joined by Sasuke. For once he wasn't annoyed that someone had ignored him but then again even if they weren't in a regular situation, Sasuke knew he'd listen to her.
Hearing a soft sigh of relief from the women, Sasuke just noticed himself the soft breathing of the blonde.
"Naruto…Naruto…dear wake up!" the lady spoke softly into his ear as she gently shook the boy.
"Looks like you came to me instead and after the boy tried so hard not to give your location away. He actually thought he won for a second, that idiotic boy."
"Shut-up Sieto, why did you do this to him, you know I never loved you when we were friends. Why couldn't you accept that I w-…"
"That's the thing I couldn't why can't you understand that?" Sieto yelled back at the girl whose eyes were glaring yet filled with tears.
Standing up from her sitting position near the blonde boy, she walked slowly to Sieto. "Sasuke, please take care of Naruto." She whispered not turning her eyes to look back.
"What, wait don't tell me you're going somewhere with him?" Sasuke asked outrage. "You abandoned Naruto once and now you're doing it again!"
"Please…take care of him. I'm doing it to protect him." She said before walking towards the door, followed by a silent yet smirking Sieto.
"Idiot! Why do you keep abandoning him, Naruto doesn't need it." He yelled before turning his attention back to the blonde, his gaze softening to sadness.
"Naruto…?" he spoke hoarsely shaking the boy, if possible, his breathing had gotten even shallower.
"Naruto, wake up!" he yelled this time realizing that his gently approach wouldn't work.
Gritting his teeth in anger, Sasuke harshly pulled the alive yet dead doll into a sitting position giving him better excess to shaking the boy.
"Naruto….Naruto!" finally losing it, Sasuke slapped the boy hard across the face, a small red mark appearing due to the force of the blow.
"Answer me!" he yelled at the top of his lungs.
A small smile of relief settled on Sasuke's face when the other's eye lids opened to reveal dark sea blue eyes. But there was something wrong, even with the light in the warehouse, Naruto's eyes didn't shine with life like they normally did.
"Naruto are you okay?" Sasuke asked, dismissing the look, the blonde had been through some tough times.
Looking at Sasuke with dull blank eyes, Naruto's head turned slightly to the side as he fell forward onto Sasuke's chest.
"Naruto…?" Sasuke asked confused at the other's actions.
Having no response from the blonde, the raven pulled the other away from his chest and looked into those eyes, they were still dull, wouldn't they have lightened up at the sight of Sasuke?
"Naruto….Naruto do you recognize me?" Sasuke asked but it ended up as a plea instead.
Once again, Naruto only tilted his head to the side and fell onto Sasuke's chest.
"Naruto…."
"Naruto…!"
"Stop acting like a fucking doll!"
Naruto's Mind
In the future the thing that makes the mind complete will be lost to man. However, this is already taking place and therefore cannot be stopped. Therefore, in order to slow down this process, the discussion of the mind must take place.
There is fear, the fear that you will disappear.
"But haven't I already disappeared, I have because I'm useless. Nobody cares about me therefore I am useless."
And because of that you runaway from yourself, in the end you fear yourself. You fear that you will make a mistake that will cause people to see the real you. Someone who is frightened by themselves, you are frightened by weakness.
"So what, everyone's scared of themselves, there's nothing wrong with that!"
You're right everyone's mind think like that which can only mean we all lack something. But that's what people fear, the fact that they lack so they try to be someone they're not. We all try to look into others and find something they lack but we possess. It makes you feel better about yourself and that's why you fear when other's look into your own mind.
Instrumentality
"What are you saying?"
One cannot live without another beside them. One living alone makes all their faults obvious and that's not acceptable to them. So instead they cause hardships and troubles from others in order to try and understand themselves.
They cause others sadness, misfortune, and bad luck in order to see if that person…is human.
"Human?"
A human is something fragile and weak physically, emotionally and mentally. They are made out of things that can break under the simplest of pressure. So, in order to understand themselves, they hang around other weak humans in order to survive.
"Why?"
Instrumentality
That is the only way they know how to live.
"Really?"
Why do you live?
"….I-I don't know…"
Who do you live for?
"Myself…I guess…"
And no one else? Do you enjoy life like that?
"I guess…I don't like sadness, what I do in my life I want to be pleasurable."
Do you like the hardships in you life even without others? Your misfortune?
"No…"
Is that why you run?
"Yes. I don't want to face anything I hate if it will only hurt me. Who would?"
You fear it?
"I don't like it!"
That's you're reason for running?
"Running helps me with the pain; I can't deal with all the pain!"
But if you know pain, doesn't that make you human? Even thought it's painful and you might run away sometime. Doesn't that pain make you human? You can run away from something you really hate but what good will it do?
"Nothing I know that but id that's why then why do we run away in the first place?"
Fear. You run away from the fear that this encounter will give you pain. Yet isn't running away more painful sometimes than standing your ground.
"Is that why I don't run sometimes. Because I know that?"
Is that why you don't run away?
"No, I want someone to know of my existence but if I runaway I'll disappear won't i?"
You don't want to disappear?
"No! I want people next to me to make me feel human!"
Then don't run away, that is your own way to live. You fear the hurt of loneliness. Yet everyone feels that hurt and sadness, you just think it'll be easier for you because you are you.
Instrumentality
"Shut-up! That's not how I am!" People deserted me and left me this loneliness. I didn't ask for it but because I feel it, that means I won't treat others in that way!"
Wrong. Because you always believe yourself as useless, in your mind you are and therefore have to prove to yourself that you are useful, by any means possible. That is just human nature, but you think that by doing nothing, nothing will happen to you yet what you don't know id that you're actually doing something.
Humans try to maintain being human through praise.
"But no one accepts me, praises me for that matter."
You think so but you're wrong once again. Ever since that day you've been trying to convince yourself of your value. The value that you never saw it when people did accept you.
"No, that's not true, I've always accepted my value but no one else has!"
Once again you think that way but you're wrong.
"But I don't know of anything to be proud of."
Is that why you went after Sieto to kill him, to prove you exist.
"Yes. I have nothing left after that."
But you have Sasuke.
"….Sa-……suke….."
Yes, he is your value in your life.
"No…I-…."
Thus,
"I hate myself for saying that because he is precious to me but, he's not here."
But who are you? Once you define you and your value, then you can truly define the value of the others around you and they will always be with you.
Naruto, I love you.
I love you
Love you forever…
I love everything about you.
"People love me?"
Of course, among fear can grown love which is deeper than love.
"No, I hate myself so then why does everyone love me?"
Because you are you and you have value. Maybe not in your own heart but in others, and that defines the depth of your value.
"But why am I praised by them?"
Because they love you.
"Who?"
"I love you Naruto! Please wake up!"
"Sasuke?"
He loves you.
"Sasuke, you're crying for me, you love me?"
He loves you.
"Does that mean I have value?"
"Please, you mean so much to me!"
Instrumentality
"Sasuke…"
With a sharp intake of breath, Sasuke looked down to his chest in order to see the now bright eyes of Naruto. "You dobe, don't worry me like that?"
"Sasuke….I missed you."
"Usuratonkachi."
"Sasuke….where's Sieto?"
Sasuke stared away from Naruto, not answering the question yet proceeding to stand up.
"Sasuke….tell me please!" Naruto pleaded standing up with Sasuke and trying to make eye contact with the taller raven.
"….follow me…" he whispered lowly as he grabbed Naruto's hand and started to lead him to the exit.
"Hold on a second Sasuke, I need to get something."
"Why did you do it?"
"I told you already to protect him!"
Why?!"
The white-haired women remained silent and calm even when Sieto advanced on him with a twisted smile on his face.
"Please…?" he asked in a fake innocent voice, reaching his hands up to cup the back of her head with one hand as the other found it's way around her waist.
However at the sound of bullets, Sieto's movements stopped.
"Step away from the lady Sieto, before I decide to shoot you in the head. I don't want blood on her."
Sieto's smirk only grew as he gave a swift kiss to her cheek, the lady now looking utterly terrified.
"I told you to step away from her…..whoever she is!"
One more kiss.
"Fine, but if I miss than that's one innocent life on your shoulders not mine!" Naruto informed, readying the gun, he unlocked the safety and put his finger on the trigger.
"Stop it!" the lady suddenly yelled, running in front of Sieto and staying there, sadness filling her eyes and a little shock at what she was doing.
"Naruto don't shoot!"
"Move!" Naruto yelled, eyes furrowing in anger; not putting down the gun.
"No!"
"Fine then…3…2…"
"Naruto stop it!" Sasuke yelled as he grabbed the gun and put the safety back on.
"Sasuke, what the hell do you think you're doing!"
"Naruto, she's your fricken mother!"