Disclaimer: i don't own naruto...

12: Deidara

"I can't do it, yeah!" I screamed at Tobi excitedly.

"Huh?" He tilted his head to one side a little and crossed his arms. "If you can't do whatever it is you can't do, why are you so happy about not being able to do it?"

"Because I don't want to do it anymore, yeah!" I exclaimed. "I can't hurt Sasori! I'm going to continue dating him and I'm not going to break-up with him anytime soon, yeah!"

Tobi's arms fell to his side and he stared at me. "You're serious? You're not messing with Tobi, are you?"

"No. I really like Sasori, yeah. I can't believe it took me so long to figure that out!" I grinned and sat down on the chair in the corner of Tobi's room. "I don't want to hurt him if I can help it, yeah."
Tobi leaned back on his bed and gazed at the ceiling. "Tobi thinks he really likes Zetsu-san. But Tobi's not sure if he wants to tell him. And if he does, how does Tobi tell him?"

I looked at him and said, "I just asked Sasori out and we talked a lot, yeah. We're gunna go do something else soon. But for you…I can't seem to imagine you trying to edge your way around saying how you feel, yeah. All I can see you doing is telling him flat out. However, why not try something subtle like you did with me, yeah?"

The way Tobi sat up like he was startled reminded me that I didn't bring up our ever being together often. It was a touchy subject for me since our break-up lead to me getting together with the leader of my old gang. He must have thought that I'd forgotten. That kind of ticked me off because I remembered all the times that Tobi and I spent together.

"Something subtle? Tobi wasn't the one who did anything when you and Tobi got together. You were the one who did," Tobi said, sounding a bit confused.

"So make moves like I did, yeah," I suggested.

"Tobi doesn't think he's sad or angry…" He muttered hesitantly.

I sighed and impatiently said, "I said like the moves that I pulled, yeah."

"That sounds complicated!" Tobi whined, flopping back down on the bed. "It'd be so much easier if Tobi could just say that Tobi liked him!"

I sighed again and hit my head on the back of the chair. "Okay. That works too, yeah."

"But what if Tobi totally freaks Zetsu-san out by doing that?"

"What if you totally flatter him by doing that, yeah?

"What if Tobi blows it?"

"What if you don't, yeah?"

"Stop that!" Tobi cried, sitting up.

"I'm trying to help, yeah!" I shot back, lifting my head to look at him.

"Well, Tobi doesn't think that anything can help him right now. Tobi's just so confused…" He put his face in his hands and sighed.

I thought about that for a minute before I said, "Tobi, I don't think much can freak Zetsu out, yeah. I mean, have you seen him lately? I honestly can't think of anything that would scare him more than his own reflection, yeah."

Tobi turned his head toward me and I knew he was glaring at me. "Tobi doesn't think he's scary."

I gaped at him. "Okay…But I still don't think he freaks easily, yeah."

Tobi huffed and dropped his face in his hands again. "Tobi's still not sure…"

"What's the worst that can happen, yeah?" I asked, shrugging.

"Don't say that! Then everything goes horribly! You'll jinx Tobi!" He cried, standing up.

I stood up too. "Alright, I'm sorry, yeah."

"Tobi?! Almost dinnertime, Deidara has to go home now!" Tobi's mom called up the stairs.

I stared at him for a minute and he sighed in defeat. "Okay, Tobi will try to talk to Zetsu-san tomorrow."

I smiled and nodded in approval. "Then I'll see you tomorrow, yeah."

"Call Tobi later and finish telling him what you're planning on doing with Sasori-san, okay?" Tobi said, taking me to the door.

"I will," I assured him, walking out the door and waving over my shoulder. The thing was, I didn't really know what was next.

After Tobi and I met, Tobi had been the first one to comfort me…After I hit my head on the wall laughing at him. I don't think he knew that I had been laughing at him at the time though. He had made the funniest face when he was trying to stay mad at me. We had been six and I hadn't been able to figure out why he didn't like me. So I just pretended that I didn't like him either. I think my logic had been that he'd like me if he thought that we hated each other. I'm not so sure that it was the best logic though. Eventually we got over it and became friends.

Through thick and thin, we stayed by each others' sides during our kindergarten year. Defeated the cookie-thieves, taught each other how to swing, conquered the slides and dodged every girl who didn't believe in cooties. Kindergarten was the best grade.

Third grade came fast and I discovered the art of avoiding-the-kid-who-likes-to-throw-woodchips-at-your-face. If you ask me, every third through sixth grade kid should know that technique. This kid was everything that a bully should be: evil, ugly and jealous. No, I'm serious! He was jealous of me. Because I had friends and I was cute and Tobi and I had several boys falling head over heels for us. I couldn't escape the kid. He did everything that a bully should do: called me names, pushed me around in the halls, knocked my books out of my hands and stole all of my desserts.

Tobi did something that a best friend should. He told the bully to fuck off. And then I decided he was better than any friend that I had ever had, he was a best friend. I thought he deserved the title since he made a threat that I knew he couldn't keep. Taking into consideration that he couldn't hit a rock without feeling guilty about it, I knew his threat was empty.

In sixth grade, it was time for me to return all the favors. Tobi's parents pulled a fast one on him and told him that they were going to get a divorce. He flipped out, and, not knowing how to deal with the news, he started getting violent. It shocked me when he hit his mom and teachers, but it scared me when he hit me. I didn't know what to do; I wanted him to stop being angry; I didn't want him to lash out at me anymore. All I could think of was to try and comfort him when he wasn't hitting me. I hugged him and told him he was making a big deal out of nothing. Then at night, I cried myself to sleep because I was afraid of the next day.

Finally, Tobi's mom got smart and put him in tae kwon do with me. I thought that it wasn't the brightest idea at first – thinking that it would just make him want to hit me with his new moves. But it didn't. He got better. He apologized to me for hitting me and we started officially dating.

Now that I think back on it, I kind of wish it had lasted longer. But the summer before we started eighth grade, we broke up. You know how people usually breakup because they fight over dumb things? We didn't fight. I just said that I'd lost interest and Tobi agreed, saying he felt the same way. It was something that we didn't feel bad about because we knew that the other felt alright with it. (Something that a lot of people aren't capable of achieving.)

I wish that I could go back and change some things; like after breaking up with Tobi, I wouldn't have hooked up with the leader of the gang. I thought he was the greatest thing since…since, well, Tobi. He was cute and nice and funny. And I loved him.

Tobi kept telling me that he was killing me, but I didn't want to believe him. I denied it and told him what every friend in denial would: "You're just jealous!" I guess I could see that he was right though. My boyfriend kept telling me that no one else appreciated me and everyone but him thought I was worthless. There were days where all he wanted to do was tell me how useless I was, but I still stayed by him though it all. Even when I heard that he was dating someone else on the side. I chose to pretend that it wasn't happening and that everything was fine between us.

I can't really remember when, all I know is that somewhere between Tobi and I getting together and the leader and I getting together, Tobi and I joined the gang. We killed person after person. It kind of surprised me that Tobi could kill people at all, but not that much considering when he had been so violent he hadn't hesitated to hit me. I know that I was once in the first rank of the gang but I spent the rest of the time in the third rank (before I left, they added another rank and I was promoted to fourth).

I don't remember the first gang war very well because I almost got knocked out too many times. I do remember that the leader never helped me. Then, I had convinced myself that he had just been too busy. I know that wasn't the reason now. I also remember very clearly the pain of having my eye carved out. I don't think I could ever forget that. The other thing I don't think I'll ever forget is that the person who got me out was Tobi.

I do remember the second gang war well, though. Tobi had left the gang a few months back and I went into the war knowing that if anything happened, no one was going to get me out. I fought half way through and then ran off because I was scared of dying. Leader never bugged me about it.

And the breakup…I was going to move, so I decided to talk to my boyfriend before I left. He told me that I had just been a game, that nothing in the world could ever make him love me. He told me that I was stupid for trusting just anybody and anyone who tried to date me was doomed to boredom. Talk about a big blow to my self-esteem.

I don't want to be like my ex. Now that I found out how much I liked Sasori, there was no way I was going to hurt him under any circumstances.

"Sasori and Zetsu kissed!" Kakuzu told me the next day.

I stared at him, half wanting to laugh and half wanting to cry. "Are you sure, yeah?"

"Positive! I watched it happen," he said, nodding.

"Why did he do that, yeah?" I whispered.

"I don't know for sure, I only got there when they kissed," Kakuzu said quietly.

I couldn't believe it. I had known that Sasori liked me and it had taken me awhile to come to the fact that I liked him back. But now I was lost. How could he do that? We were dating. Did I suddenly become someone he didn't care about?

I didn't care if I was like my ex or not anymore – that was in the back of my mind when I decided that I wanted to breakup with Sasori.

I'm tired of being the game.

A/N: …unexpected enough? Um…still not ready to reveal the name of ex-boyfriend, even though I'm sure everyone's figured it out by now if they've been paying attention and went back a few chapters and put three and three together. XD

The kiss and the soon-to-be breakup? Courtesy of a book I just recently read. Ironically, it had just what I needed to kick-start my story. Although, I must apologize for not extending the getting together of Deidara and Sasori. Honestly, I'm just no good at it. Sorry.

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