Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN NARUTO! WHY DO I HAVE TO WRITE THIS OVER AND OVER?!

18: Deidara

I stared at the ceiling in the living room quietly. I wasn't thinking, sleeping, and I'm pretty sure I was barely breathing. But with a cup of tea nearby and a pillow under my head, I was relaxed. Another Saturday being wasted away.

The house was empty except for me and my fat cat, Neko. (A/N: Translation: Neko means Cat in Japanese.) Ino was at her friend, Sakura's house and my parents were both busy. My mom was working overtime at the hospital again and my dad was in his office in town "researching" for his new book. Tobi had Zetsu over because he wanted to spend as much time with him as possible before Zetsu had to go to Kohana with Leader. And I wasn't on speaking terms with Sasori anymore – I'd given up. So, I had nowhere to be.

I was fully intending to spend the day doing absolutely nothing but eating and laying on the couch. I figured I might relocate to my bedroom if Ino and Sakura came home, but other than that, I had my day planned. I found out that if I didn't think about anything, then I didn't have to feel guilty about anything – well, in that case, I didn't have to feel at all because any feeling seemed to force its way back to guilt. I was an emotionless lump on the couch today.

The day crawled on until noon when Ino and Sakura came home, just like I thought. At first, I didn't quite feel like I had any energy, so I didn't get up. This was a bad move, because Ino came over to the couch and loomed over me.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

I stared at her for a minute before I said, "Nothing."

"For once, I believe you," she told me, looking around at the three mugs that I had emptied and never bothered to put in the dishwasher; the plate that had a quarter of a sandwich on it that I hadn't bothered to take care of either; the comic books that I had collected from upstairs this morning, read through, dumped on the floor next to the couch and slipped on every time I got up. "Why are you doing nothing?"

"Because I don't have anything to do, yeah," I sighed, turning over and burying my face in the cushions of the couch. I had found three different designs on the pillows so far and was working on my fourth.

Ino was so quiet; I thought she might have gone away. But then she said, "You have something to do."

"Yeah?" I muttered into the couch, not even bothering to look at her.

"Yeah; you should be talking to Sasori right now," she informed me.

I twisted around so fast, I thought I might have dislocated my waist – if that was possible. "What?!"

Ino stared at me calmly for a moment before she decidedly said, "If you cared anything about him, you'd be apologizing to him; telling him how you feel; all that good stuff that people with a broken relationship should do."

"When did you become a therapist, yeah?" I asked her, turning back to the pillows and finding another pattern. "I've already tried to apologize. He doesn't want to hear it, yeah."

"So you give up?"

"What do you know, yeah?"

"I know that usually, if you guilt a person enough, they'll go confront the problem."

I turned over again and looked at her skeptically. "Did you get that off of a therapist brochure, yeah?"

Ino scrunched her nose up and said, "Maybe. But it's right. You totally feel guilty already about what you've done to Sasori. If I guilt you a little more, I'm sure you'll go talk to him."

I sat up and cried, "I told you, he doesn't want to listen to me, yeah!" Then I attempted to stand and storm off, but the comic book beneath my socked foot, slid and I fell. It took a few minutes, but I managed to crawl around the coffee table, stand up and finally storm off.

My room brought no comfort. Ino had succeeded in making me feel miserable. I had looked up Sasori's number awhile after our first date, so I had it on hand if I really wanted to talk to him. But not only did I believe that he didn't want to talk to me, I didn't know what to say. I stayed miserable all day because I had nothing to do and nowhere to go.

On Monday, Leader, Zetsu, Hidan, Kakuzu and Itachi left to go see the leader of The Guardian. I was getting even more depressed because of the war that I knew was coming up. I knew that the gang I was in was as strong as it was going to get and there wasn't anything more I could do. Sasori wasn't talking to me – in fact, I'd be lucky if he'd even look at me. Suddenly, I remembered the other reason why I hadn't wanted to join another gang: It was way too stressful.

I had talked to Tobi on Sunday night and he had suggested some ways to get Sasori back. However, none of them seemed like anything I could do. All I could do was sit back and wait for my chance to prove to him that I did like him – even though I had been a jack-ass; even though he had kissed Zetsu (he said he had an excuse for that and if the excuse was good enough, I was willing to forgive him); and even though a gang war was coming up.

It felt like just another day in my repetitive life.

The day came way too fast. The leader of The Guardian had decided to accept the "invitation" for the gang war. He hadn't said when the war was going to happen, so every member of the gang was on their toes in anticipation. When The Guardian invaded, it was actually a surprise. They didn't jump us while we were at school; they hit Tobi and Zetsu when they were on their way home from school. So we met them at the park that night. I didn't know about Tobi, but this felt like déjà vu to me.

I'm about to break the circle…

A/N: -evil laugh- Yes, the long awaited chapter is coming! Are you wondering who was waiting for this chapter? Well, me, of course! I've been waiting for the chapter! This chapter, well, it just sucked. If I'm wrong, correct me, please. And while you're at it, please review.