Well, all I can say is sorry.

I am a real person. I do have a real life. I'm a sophomore in high school, and that has been taking up a lot of my time. Also, being a 10th grader, drama comes almost as often as my period.

So, like I said, sorry. But I'm going to attempt to keep updating at least once a week.

Playlist for this chapter: "Heartbeat"—Scouting For Girls, "Waking Up In Vegas"—Katy Perry, "Straight Lines"—Dawn Landes, and "Diary of Jane"—Breaking Benjamin.

Dedicated to anyone who has stuck through the waiting period.

"As any good general knows, you never let your soldiers see you sweat. Looks like this battle's ending at Butter, and the win goes to B. Victory is sweet."

1x14: The Blair Bitch Project

As Blair surveyed the scene playing out before her eyes, she wondered if her family's lawyers were good enough to get her off a homicide charge.

Little J and Nate—her two least favorite people in the world right now, excluding a certain Asshole-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named—sat down at the table, much to the delight of all the girls involved. Blair narrowed her eyes, and, still holding the drinks she had gone to get, contemplating pouring it all over Jenny's bad dye job.

Any and every move she may or may not have been about to make was interrupted by her cell phone ringing. The chiming chords of Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl" rang out through Butter, much to the annoyance of many of it's patrons. Blair glared at them all haughtily. Serena had found the song hilarious and had programmed it as her ringtone on Blair's phone, much to Blair's annoyance at the time, but now she found it comforting because at least someone wanted to talk to her.

Putting the drinks down, Blair fumbled for her phone in her purse, relieved when she closed her fingers around it. Dropping on to a stool, she flipped it open. "Hello?"

"Blair." Came the unmistakable voice of he-who-must-not-be-named.

"Chuck." She said, venomously. Hey, it was a good concept in theory.

"Spare me the lecture, Waldorf." He said, coldly. "I'm only calling because of Serena."

"What did you do to her?" asked Blair, eyes narrowing.

"I didn't do anything to her. It was a certain party-girl who we all know—some more well than others—" She could almost hear his smirk. "—that sent Serena all into a tizzy. You remember Georgina, right?"

Blair had the feeling that if she hadn't already been sitting down, she would have fallen out of her seat in shock.

"Georgina." She said. "She's back?"

"Not yet, but she's coming." She heard a quiet rustle on the end of his line, and a note of desperation found its way into his voice. "Blair, Serena's not doing great with this. She's drunk double I have, and I had to take her phone so that she wouldn't call Humphrey. Can you…" he paused.

"I'll be there in ten minutes." Said Blair, and shut the phone. She debated dragging Nate along with her, but decided against it—Serena did not need the inevitable fight that would happen if Chuck and Nate were in the same room.

Without a backwards glance at the girls still sitting at the table, she stalked out of the restaurant.

She was greeted by a worried-looking Lily van der Woodsen when she got to Serena's. "Hello, Blair."

"Hi, Miss van der Woodsen." Blair replied, summoning up her best smile. "I'm supposed to meet Serena, we're having a girls' night in."

"Oh! Oh." Some of the worry left Lily's face. "She's right upstairs." Blair smiled again and went towards the stairs. When she reached Serena's door, she knocked softly.

The door was wrenched open with a surprising amount of force, and Blair felt herself being stifled in Serena's hug.

"Blair! Hi! I didn't know you were coming to join the party!" the blonde yelped. Blair winced. "Chuck, did you invite her? Because if you got to invite Blair, then I get to invite Dan!"

Blair's eyes widened, but the implication of the statement seemed to sail over Chuck's head. "S, do you want Humphrey to see you like this?"

Serena pouted. "No."

"S, why don't you lay down." Blair propelled Serena toward the bed. "Don't move, okay?"

"Okay." Agreed Serena, sleepily, yawning.

Blair glared at Chuck and he retreated out of the room. She followed after him, switching off the lights as she went.

When they had proceeded as far a distance so that Serena couldn't hear them, Blair rounded on Chuck angrily. "What were you thinking?"

Chuck immediately got defensive. "She was freaking out. I did what I could to calm her down."

"You got her drunk!" Blair yelled. "Tell me, did that seem like a good plan?"

"I wasn't thinking." Admitted Chuck.

Blair closed her eyes, and took a deep breath, counting to ten.

Again.

She finally opened her eyes to see Chuck watching her warily. "I know that you did what you could Chuck, and thank you. And if that bitch Georgina keeps sending her sick little presents to Serena, tell me, without telling Serena."

Chuck regarded her. "I never told you it was G who sent the presents."

Blair laughed hollowly. "Yeah, like I was going to believe it was you. You're not that creative, Chuck, and Serena is your friend, and I know what that means to you. You wouldn't have sent her those presents."

"Nice to know you have such faith in me." said Chuck, smirking.

"You earned it." She said, tilting her head to one side. She studied him, watching as he grew more and more uncomfortable under her gaze.

"Is there anything else?" He asked.

She moved forward, and for a moment he thought she might slap him. His eyes drifted closed in anticipation of the sharp pain, and the soft pressure against his lips caught him by surprise. It was gone before he had a chance to react, and Blair whispered in his ear.

"Thanks for taking care of her."

Without another word, Blair was walking back down the hallway to Serena's room.

Chuck watched her go, running a hand through his hair, before shaking his head and going to see if the shower had anything around the temperature of pack ice.

Ehhhh. Not my best. Not my worst. Thoughts? Ideas?

See you on the reviews page!