A/N: sorry guyes, I know this has taken sooooo very long to come back...but I lost my muse...but thankfully its back. So enjoy the chapter. i hope someone is still reading this. If you are...do leave a review. Thanks a ton for all your support so far.

Turk's POV

Carla told me what went down between Vanilla Bear and Dr. Cox. I can't believe Cox thinks JD would switch camps. I personally don't get why JD even bothers, but even an idiot can see that my Vanilla Bear would literally plan his own funeral just to get Dr. Cox to admit that he's his mentor. Hell, JD would be more likely to join the Nazzi camp than go against Dr. Cox. Besides, there isn't a single Doctor in this hospital that is more concerned about his patients than JD. Not me, not Elliot, not even Dr Cox himself can deny that. JD cares just a little too much for his own good. When we used to live together, sometimes I used to get competitive with JD, over who spends more of their free time at the hospital. I never won that, mostly because JD didn't realize that we were competing, and he just stuck around for one patient or another. Its not like I didn't go the extra mile for my patients, for some of them, yea, but mostly, I just hung out with Carla in my free time. Maybe that's one of the reasons JD cares so much, its because he doesn't have a Hot Wife to think about all the time. Yea sure, there's Elliot, but their on again, off again thing is just too complicated. The bottom line is though, JD does care about his patients and isn't skipping out.

I don't know what Cox's problem is, but for messing with JD when he's hurt, he's so going to get the silent treatment. In fact, I think Carla and Elliot are joining in on the operation "Ignore Cox" this time. And if Carla joins in, then the nurses join in, if the nurses join in, then it will be a crazy Cox ignoring fest. Hells to the yes!

But that's later, right now, I've got a pizza and root beer with my buddy's name on it. I thought JD could use a little TLC, so here I am…standing at his doorstep, waiting for him to open up. Only, Man is he taking his own sweet time. I can here him scuttling around, but it doesn't seem like he's about to open the door.

"Dude, I need to pee, Open the door!", Finally after ages, the J-Dowg opens up.

"Turk! Hey…" hey waves awkwardly.

Man he looks horrible. His eyes are all puffy, he has a bandair above his eyebrow, his face is all pale…paler than usual that is. Why is he panting like that?

"Dude, did you try Yoga again? I told you it's not your thing."

"Oh…yea...that's what I was doing…you know...the stretching makes you more flexible."

"Really? The misses might enjoy that, you know what I'm saying." I say, making my way into his apartment.

"Yea." He nods, trudging behind me.

"JD? You okay?", I was gonna go for the indirect approach, but he looks like a fizzeled out football right now.

"Yea…you know." He says dismissively, easing himself on the couch.

"I heard what Dr Cox said. Don't worry Vanilla Bear. I got your back. He's got no business saying all that stuff to you. If you ant to get back at him, you tell me." Suddenly I got excited at the idea. I practally bounced on the chair I was sitting on. "We could give him the silent treatment together. Oh and get the whole hospital to do it and…"

"Nah its okay. I don't care what Perry thinks. If he doesn't think I'm a responsible doctor, then he doesn't desrve….he doesn't deserve my respect…he obviously never respected me." Okay, weird. I never expected that to come out of JD's mouth. Man Cox really screwed up this time. JD never reacts this strongly to petty fights.

"Well I don't know about him, but you know we respect you buddy. Me, Carla, Elliot and everyone else."

"Everyone but my supposed mentor."

"Well he's not your mentor if he doesn't respect you…like you said."

"Obviously."

"Listen man, forget him. You don't need a mentor. You're a great doctor, and now its your turn to be someone's mentor. You have interns that love you, a great career, and you're an amazing person. Who wouldn't want to be taught by you. Its time you do your own thing."

"Maybe."

"Come on JD lighten up. Look, I have pizza, root beer and the season set of Cheers! Lets just kick back and relax huh?" I was expecting a smile, maybe an enthusiastic 'yay' or at least a quote from the show. But instead I got…coughing…lots of coughing. /And then, he got up so suddenly, I was a little startled.

"Thanks buddy. I can't. I have lots of work to do. And I want to head to bed early. Some other day?" So wasn't expecting that.

"JD, what's going on dude? You're all pale and sick…did u go get that checked out?"

"Yea…its just a cold. I'm good. Back to work tomorrow. So I gatta sleep soon." While he was saying this, he was pushing me out he door.

"But…"

"Tell Carla I said hi and give Izzie a hug from my side. Night Turk."

"Dude I…" And then the door was slammed in my face. When I say, that was weird. I sort of expect a "Duh" to be flashed in front of my face. What the hell was that? Something is totally wrong with JD. Everyone has been aware of it lately. The problem is no one seems to know what the problem is. Its not just Dr. Cox that's bothering him, nor is it the janitor. I mean sure, today must suck for him, but this, whatever it is, has been going on for a long time. He's always looks exhausted, he barely plays hide and seek with me, no more giant doctor shticks , no impromptu trips, nothing. He's just been working and going home. Come on JD, let me in...literally.

………………….

JD's POV

God, I feel awful. Actually, that's probably the biggest understatement of the year. I'm so completely tired, I can barely think in a straight line, forget walking. I wish someone would just take out my lungs, give them a good wash and stuff them back in so I can breathe properly.

Imagines a pretty blonde woman wearing 60s style clothing, sporting an apron and carrying a laundry basket. "JD dear, do you have anything to give for laundry."

JD puts his hands under his shirt and pulls out his lungs. "Yea, I've been meaning to wash these but just haven't gotten around to it. Thanks sweet pea."The pretty lady gives and over enthusiastic grin and accepts the organs, before skipping out the door.

That would be a good plot for Pleasantville. Sadly, there's no way to do that right here, Instead, I'm curled up on my couch, just riding out the headache, breathlessness, nausea and the bout of coughing that is currently rattling my insides like a tambourine in the hands of a drunk monkey.

I've already stuffed my face full of medication, and I should be feeling better sometime soon, but man is it taking long. Urhg, I feel so horrible, I think my head is ringing. Or is that the door bell? God please let it be my head. I'm pretty sure, entertaining anyone right now will be a BIG no no. And, that would be Turk yelling through the door. Good job on the listening God. Great, just great.

As I make my way groggily towards the door, I can barely see where I'm going. I guess that explains why I suddenly take an involuntary summersault into the air, as Rowdy magically appears between my war path towards the door. Man is it not my day. Hell is not my month, or year. Whatever.

Once again, I hawl my but of the floor, and open the door to a jittery Turk and God bless him…Pizza. Too bad I'm not in any condition to eat or talk. I bet you he is planning on doing both. I'm too out of breath for a few seconds, but then I finally muster up the strength to speak.

"Turk, Hey." Man I'm awkward. The thing is, he knows me, he can tell that something's wrong. The look he's giving me has "what the hell happened to you" written all over it. Thank god though, Turk usually comes up with his own conclusions. Normally he is spot on, because he knows everything I know. This time though, he's missing the main link to all my problems. He won't make the right connections just yet. So when he thinks I look like crap because of Yoga, who am I to disagree?

Unfortunately that's not enough to sway him this time. Drats. I don't want to talk about it, not now not ever. Not with him, not with Dr. Cox, not with Carla, or Elliot or the stupid little group councilor at St Anthony Hospital or anyone at all. I also don't want to be that guy everyone feels sorry for, or the guy everyone stands up for. Thanks, but I can stand up for my self for once. And yes, I'm mad at Dr Cox. Actually mad is not strong enough a word. I'm disillusioned by him. You see, he belittled me, made fun of me, taunted me, made me feel insignificant, invisible and unwanted, and for some reason I was okay with that. Its probably because the one thing he did for me was believe in me. He always made sure I knew in some way that he was on my side. That I was a good doctor beneath it all. That was supposed to be the bond between us. I was the guy that cared about my patients, just like him. I respect him because he cares, and I had hoped that he did the same with me. I thought that no matter what, that would be the one thing he would never doubt. Apparently not. So yea, he's pulled the last straw. The are going to be a lot of lasts in my life in the next few months, so let this be the first…last. I guess, finally Dr Cox is going to get what he wants. He always wanted to pull away from me and not have me follow him. Well, he won't have to bother about me from now on. I'm done. I refuse to spend the last few months of my life, trying to please someone who hasn't understood me in six years.

I think Turk's surprised by my sentiments, mostly about not caring about Dr Cox. I have to admit, from his point of view, this must seem weird. I never give up on people. Well what is a guy to do when people give up on you? Besides, this makes my life easier, if Dr. Cox isn't around me, he doesn't have to find out what's wrong with me.

Great, now Turk's trying to console me. I can't take this anymore. Its all nice and sweet but completely pointless. Yes, maybe I don't need a mentor anymore. Whats a man who's about to die going to do with a mentor? But neither can I be a mentor, because…again…the dying thing sort of comes in the way. I've got nothing anymore. I'm barely a doctor, forget being a mentor. I'm just a guy, drifting between my life and death. I can't even be a patient because I'm pretending to be a doctor. I can't be a friend because I'm lying to all of them. I can't be a student because my mentor doesn't want me. God, my life is messed up. And with that thought becomes the drive for many other depressing ones, I shoo Turk out of the house, handing him his Pizza and slamming the door on his face. Once he leaves, I just slide by back against the closed door, pull my knees up and stifle the sobs that are trying to push past my throat. What the hell am I supposed to do now?

……………………………..

Dr Cox's POV.

Its official, this gawd awful place is actually, hell, its, its, its hell, thats what it is. I mean come ON. this is not the first time I've yelled at Newbie and sure as hell won't be the last time. And I can bet you anything, he will be the first one to prance through that door and return to being the annoying labradoodle who follows me around all day, asking for my approval. Not that I want him to do that, but its what he does. This is Penny, its how she functions. I mean no way in hell is he going to get my approval this time because, as I have previously established, I am not his mentor and anyway, with his new buddy Bobbo, he is going to be walking on egg shells around me for all eternity. However...the point remains...there is no need to over react.

I say that because currently, Carla and her gang of misfits are all putting a lot of time and effort into ignoring my every request. While normally I could care less, this puts my ability to function at the hospital at a significant disadvantage. No coffee from coffee nurse, no charts from Carla, Laverne won't tend to my patients when I ask her, although I'm sure she is actually looking after them when I'm not there. No one is answering me, Elliot's idiot interns are giving me disapproving glares and Newbie's turtle headed boyfriend is heaving sighs in front of me, trying to make it obvious that he's in fact NOT talking to me. I swear, one more noise from his nostrils and I will stick my stethoscope up his nose, and bring it out of his ass.

All in all, this over-reaction to my rift with Newbie is completely unnessessary. If Jane is in fact innocent, then there is no problem, I will forgive him. I'm certainly not apologizing. Not that I will need to, he'll be wagging his tale any time now, begging for a treat.

"Carla, can I have my cases please." I whirl around the counter, involuntarily of course. Was that Newbie's voice? He sounds like he has a cork shoved down his throat.

"Hey Bambi, you okay. You don't sound so good."

"Yea, long night." He answers, taking the charts from Carla's extended hand. "I should get going." He says softly, before turning and beginning to walk away. He didn't even acknowledge me..again. Not even the overdramatic ignorance, like the rest, No huff...no apologetic eyes, no wistful sighs, no sorry...nothing at all.

I can't help it, a sharp whistle just slips out of my lips. "Hold on there Betty..."

"Yes Dr Cox. What can I do for you." JD whirls around, staring back at me so coldly, I can barely remember what I was going to say. He looks terrible, pale, thin and exhausted. Okay, so clearly he needed a break last night...that is now more obvious to me than it was last night. oops.

"Look...urm...I...I'm...I'm sorry about yesterday. I guess you didn't switch camps."

"I have to go." No! he is not brushing me off again dammit. I'm Dr Cox, is he not afraid?

"This doesn't happen often newbie so I suggest you cherish the moment..."

"What, so you decide to apologize for once and I'm supposed to accept it just because you don't have the balls to do it more often Perry? Does that make everything go away in your world? Because from where I'm standing, you're still the guy who doubted everything I stand for. Something I thought you respected me for. So the next time I screw up, thats what I have to look forward to from my so called mentor, you judging my every move to see if I'm still on your side. and the next time, you can just say sorry and walk away, while I think about how I spent the past six years, doing everything in my power to please you, just so you can throw everything in my face. I guess everyone else was right, I'm never truly going to get your approval, and you know what, its not even worth it. So guess what Perry, sorry doesn't cut it...I couldn't think anything does. Excuse me."

He didn't even do the shoulder bump, just left, shoulder slumped, not looking back.

"Did that just happen?" I asked the entire nursing staff in general. All I got was an mhm, that only Lavern can pull off. Before everyone resumed work.

I couldn't get the words you of my head. "I'll never truly get your approval, and you know what, its not worth it." that, I have to admit, hurt. I want to say that Newbie doesn't matter, but lets be honest here for a second. He does, most days he irritates me, but some days he reminds me of Ben, other days he makes me feel like an overprotective father, and still there are days he reminds me of the good things about my profession. I guess, I was always proud of being his mentor because honestly, him already being a great doctor, and a hell of a human being..sort of helped. I guess...in a strange way, it gave me hope that this hell hole isn't as bad as I sometimes think it is. I can't afford to lose that. Have I lost it?

Well there wasn't much time to think about that for the rest of the day. Work went on as it always does, except that I didn't see Newbie even once. At lunch, I could feel everyone's eyes on me. Everyone was whispering around me. It was more annoying than embarrassing. The knuckleheads could gossip all they want, I couldn't care a damn. The only person I wanted to talk to was...

"Perry. Howz it going."...Not Bob Kelso. But here he was, sliding his tray onto my table with a big fake smile.

" You do realize that my scar is burning from you sitting so close Voldamort."

"Oh please, don't flatter yourself Perry. Doctor Dorian has a better chance of being Harry Potter than you ever will." Hearing him talking about Newbie downright pissed me off. What, was he going to gloat about winning the kid over. great Bob, just great, add fuel to the fire. I was so red with anger, I could barely manage a snarl.

"Easy buckbeak. I just came here to tell you that you can lay off the third degree on the kid. While I'd love to have Dr Dorian on the right side of this tug of war, he, still isn't. Trust me, you will regret not getting that sooner." What is wrong with the world today. Bod is actually showing a human side, Newbie is ranting with real anger and I'm actually LISTENING.

"Why would you tell me that Bob. What, no taking advantage of the wonderful situation?"

"Because, sometimes Perry, contrary to popular belief, its not about me or you. Maybe if you looked at the kid, you'd realize that this is about him." With that, Kelso stuffed his mouth full of blueberry muffins and walked away.

Its about Margaret...what about her? Yea she's upset, yea I definitely hurt her overly sensitive feelings, yea for once she has every right to be angry...but something else is wrong...

but what?

A/N thanks for reading, don't forget to review!