A/N: I'm so sorry it's taken me a while to update, but I'm on vacation in Puerto Rico getting ready for a family reunion that's coming up. It's been hectic, I'm barely at my godmother's house where we're staying, I'm always getting interrupted, but I did it and so here it is.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything other than my characters.

Chapter Five: When You're Gone

It was already midnight by the time Dean and Jo returned home from their date. The bar was full of hunters and the usual bar flies as always. They noticed that Ash was helping Ellen. She had made him help her since Jo was out with Dean and she assumed that Sam was getting the rest he desperately needed.

The couple slipped by them with a wave to Ellen then made their way upstairs, one thing on both of their minds. Dean chased a giggling Jo through the hallway, her room was at the end of the hall. She got to their room first and waited for Dean at the door. He paused when he reached Sam's door. Jo looked at him funny.

"Dean why'd you stop?" She put her hands on her hips.

"Huh…Oh, your Mom wanted me to talk to Sam, but it can wait til' tomorrow. It's nothing important." He looked at the door once more then looked at her and smiled.

"Yeah I know, but anyways what I want is more important and that's for you to make sweet, hot, steamy love to me." She grinned and started to lift her top seductively as she disappeared into their room. He grinned and walked towards their room, locking the door behind him.

The next morning everybody was sitting at the breakfast table except for one person. Dean was there, he was off on weekends. Ellen wondered where Sam was. She knew he couldn't still be sleeping.

"Dean can ya' please go and check on your brother." She was worried about the younger Winchester.

"He's probably still sleeping or making his way down." Dean took a bite of his toast.

"No, Sam's never late for breakfast. Just go and check on him." She ordered.

"Fine I'll go check on sleeping beauty. Nobody better touch my breakfast." He grumbled.

Dean stomped his way upstairs like a petulant five year old. He checked the bathroom first, but it was empty. Then he knocked on Sam's door a couple of times, but never got an answer.

"Sam wake your ass up!" Dean hollered through the door.

"Sam…" Dean opened the door.

He looked at the beds, both of them were still made. He looked back in the hallway confused.

"Sammy!." He yelled out. He still didn't get an answer.

He walked back into the room and looked around. He noticed that Sam's laptop wasn't on the desk. He walked straight to the closet, with shaking hands he opened the door. He gasped when he saw that his bags were gone.

"Sammy this better be a joke! Answer me dammit!" Dean's heart was racing.

Dean looked through drawers and found them empty. He even searched for a note, but didn't find one.

He ran downstairs yelling his little brother's name, knowing he wasn't going to get a response. When he got to the kitchen he was panting. Ellen and the others looked at him worried. Ash knew what was going on, but put up an act.

"Sammy's missing!" Dean yelled frantically.

"What do you mean he's gone Dean?!" Ellen stood up.

"I checked all over his room and he's not there and neither is his stuff." Dean was frantic. "Didn't any of you see him? Didn't he say anything to any of you?"

"No I didn't see him, I thought he was sleeping in his room last night. He…" Ellen stopped talking when she remembered what Sam told her the night before.

"What? What did you remember?" Dean needed to know everything that could give him a clue about Sam.

"He did come up to me around nine and said that he never said thank you for giving the two of you a place to stay. Then he walked back upstairs. That's the last I saw of him…" She looked down. "I'm sorry Dean, I should've realized he was saying goodbye."

"No don't blame yourself. It's not your fault." It's mine, was left unsaid. "I didn't even get to talk to him like you told me to."

"Don't worry he'll come back, he can't be away from you too long." Ellen tried to reassure him.

Jo stood up and put her arms around Dean, trying to comfort him. He just stood there, not even leaning towards the embrace.

"Don't worry baby you'll find him. He just probably needed some alone time." Jo tried to comfort.

"No that's not like Sam. He wouldn't take all of his things just to be alone for a while." Dean broke out of the embrace and headed back up to Sam's room.

Since everyone had lost their appetites Ellen and Jo started to put things away and wash the dishes. Ash went to his room, wondering where Sam could be right now.

Dean sat on Sam's bed, he had looked all over the room again just in case he missed a note from his little brother, but no such luck. He even tried calling, but kept getting sent to voicemail. After the fourth time he just decided to leave a message.

"Sammy please pick up. I really need to talk to you. Where are you? Just tell me so I can pick you up and we can talk. We can talk about anything you want, I know you needed to tell me something, just PLEASE." Dean pleaded on the phone.

He placed the phone on the night table and sat back on the bed. His eyes started to tear up, but he wiped his eyes furiously. He decided to go talk to Ash to see if he knew anything.

Ash was walking out of his room when Dean spotted him. Ash knew Dean was going to question him sooner or later. He wanted to hurt Dean for everything he put Sam through and knock some sense into him. He knew Dean had to be in love with Sam, they wouldn't have slept together if there were no feelings there. Another part of him wanted to tell him that Sam had told him he was leaving, but in his opinion, Dean didn't deserve any information.

"Ash did Sam talk to you last night? Like did he do the same thing to you like he did to Ellen?" Dean was desperate.

"No man the last time I talked to him was in the afternoon after he woke up from his nap." It wasn't all a lie.

"But no hints on anything?"

"Nah. I asked him if he was okay since he didn't look so well, but he said he was fine. Though…" Ash wanted to give Dean a push on the right direction.

"What?"

"He did look hurt everytime you walked away from him and left him hanging." Ash replied then walked away.

Dean just stood there, he knew Ash was telling the truth. He got his keys and went to drive around the town to see if he could find his little brother.

Dean drove around for hours looking for any sign of Sam, he even called him, but Sam never answered.

Sam looked at his phone and sighed, Dean kept calling him and leaving messages. As much as he wanted to pick up and talk to him, he wasn't. He was giving his brother a taste of his own medicine. The only difference was that he was planning on starting a new life without his big brother in it, permanently.

The night before Sam had gotten a ride from one of the hunters to a nearby hotel, where he had stayed til' sunrise then left for the bus station. He knew his brother was going to look for him and he didn't want to be found EVER. He got on a bus and was headed to a small town far away from Dean and the Roadhouse.

Dean decided to check at one of the first hotels he saw. It was nearby the Roadhouse, but he had a feeling that Sam had stayed there. He asked in the lobby and the lady in the front told him that a guy that matched his little brother's description had stayed there, but had left really early.

"But do you know if he left with someone or anywhere in specific?" Dean was near tears.

"Nope I'm sorry son, he just left by himself." The lady replied.

Dean just nodded and left with a heavy heart. He drove back to the Roadhouse and stayed in the car. He called Bobby, he needed someone to talk to and he knew he could trust Bobby.

"Hello?" Bobby gruffly answered.

"Hey Bobby can we talk?" Dean quietly spoke.

"Yeah Dean what's going on? Is everything okay? Is Sam okay?" Bobby was worried at hearing Dean's tone.

"Umm…umm it's kinda about Sam…He. He's gone…" His eyes started to water.

"What do you mean he's gone? Dean what happened?" Bobby went into Fatherly mode.

"It's kinda my fault…I treated him horribly and he left, but he didn't tell anybody."

"When did he leave? What the HELL did you do to him?" Bobby just wanted Dean to explain everything already.

"He left last night…I've been blowing him off for Jo for the past two months…and last night he wanted to tell me something, but I blew him off again. He needed to talk and I just left him there. I'm such a bad brother." Dean couldn't hold the tears back.

"Dammit Dean! How could you do that to him? You know your brother, he needs to talk to let his feelings out. AND the person he trusts the most is YOU. You're the only blood relative he has left, he has me as you do, but you're his everything. He could be anywhere by now!" Bobby yelled at him.

"I know Bobby! I'm so sorry!" Dean cried out.

"It's okay Dean, I know you're sorry. Let's just calm down and think of a way to find him…I'm guessing you called and he didn't answer." Bobby tried to calm Dean.

"I did and I left a message, but I know he's too upset to answer me…Oh God Bobby he's sick! What if he's hurt out there or passed out on a road somewhere?!" Dean was freaking out even more.

"Sick? What do you mean sick? Dean what's wrong with Sam?" Bobby didn't know how much more he could take.

"I don't know! Ellen said he was looking pale and that he wasn't eating or sleeping. I didn't notice cause' I was too busy to pay attention to him…I'm such an asshole, I didn't even notice that my baby brother was sick and needed me. He's probably feeling even worse now. I was always in tune with him, he was an open book to only me and I blinded myself. I disobeyed Dad's only order, "Take care of Sammy..." Dean got cut off.

"Dean you need to calm down, we'll find him. Yes you made a stupid mistake, but you're not a bad brother and Sam knows that. He's just upset right now. He may be sick, but he can take care of himself. You gotta give him more credit that…I'll try calling him and check around to see if he may be heading over here…Look we'll find him, you just need to let him calm down for a few days and he'll come back home. You just go and take a breather. I'll call you if I get any updates okay…And Dean?" Bobby paused.

"Yea'?" Dean wiped his eyes.

"Call me if you need to talk, don't hesitate 'kay."

"Okay Bobby. Thanks."

"No problem." They hung up.

Dean got out of the car and walked inside. Ellen and Jo saw him and ran towards him. They ambushed him with questions, he just ignored them and kept walking. Ellen and Jo just looked at each other and knew that he didn't find Sam.

Dean went out back and sat down on the ground, leaning against the wall. Tears threatened to fall again and he didn't bother holding them back.

"I'm so stupid! What have I done? I didn't want Sammy to leave me especially after…but I pushed him away cause' of my feelings for him and Jo…Now he's gone and I know he's not coming back. I shouldn't have treated him that way. He didn't deserve it especially after everything we've been through…I regret this even more than that night. I thought I was doing the right thing, but I also knew it was wrong and now I'm paying for it. My Sammy's gone, no goodbye, no note, just left…" Dean spoke out loud, but no one overheard him.

So many thoughts ran through his head. He sat there looking out into the woods, but not really looking. He thought, "I'm not used to this love stuff, I mean I really do love Sam and I'm falling in love with Jo, but I've never really loved anyone like I love Sam and no one's loved me like Jo loves me. All this sounds so fucked up. I wish Sammy was here, but maybe it's for the best that he's gone…I'm gonna have to get used to a life without my baby brother and it's all my fucking fault." He sobbed, not caring who found him like that.

"I'm sorry Sammy, please come back." Dean whispered before he broke down again.

TBC...

A/N: So what did you guys think? Is Dean suffering enough? :-p...I just want to let you know that it will probably be another before I post chapter 6, I'm going to be in Puerto Rico for two weeks, but hopefully I'll be able to update next week. :-)