Once again, Cat Scratch Fever Productions is proud to present the crack-fic you all love and pee your pants at while reading because you're laughing so hard! Bust don't be like me and run into a parked truck in the process of trying to calm yourself down before walking into Best Buy. It doesn't feel well. Trust me.

DO NOT READ IF YOU CAN'T TAKE A JOKE!

Disclaimer: For the love of all that is lawyer-y, I do not own thr rights to Air Gear in any way shape or form. I do own what they look like as cats as well as any insane idea in here that no sane person could come up with. However much I would like to, I do not own Agito. However, the Taco Bell guy is of my own creation. Use with caution.

And I would like to thank my two reviewers, both of which you should bow down and worship. Thank you, guys!

He would have to do this delicately. One wrong move could send the Earth spiraling into the sun. Okay, that last part was an exaggeration, but you never know! As careful as if he were approaching an injureed, 90 starved, and injured stray dog, Spitfire pulled the wrapped item out of the bag, setting it on the table gently in front of him. One wrong move. Just one. Slowly. Gently. The cylindrical object was unwrapped, releasing a smell of mixed scents into the air. A smile tugged at the lips of the ex-Flame King. Finally. It was lifted off the wrapper, two hands carefully caressing the ends to keep the items inside from spilling. A large bite was taken from the poor Burrito Supereme, ending its short lived life in a plastic bag and wrapper. All his worldly items went to the Cinnamon Twists as the Cheesy Fiesta Potatos had lost his trust after cheating on him with the Nachos BellGrande. Yes, being a burrito was a tough life.

It would have been a new world record in the time taken to finish a Taco Bell food item. Being a famous dead guy did have its disadvantages. Spitfire couldn't do his own shopping and thus had relied on a very select group of delivery places to get his source of nutirents. Maybe he should get a wig and see if a disguise would help?

Meanwhile, the Taco Bell guy had been searching for new jobs. He stayed away from anything that slightly related to cats.

If it were possible for cats to have religions and give offerings to their lord and master, Agito would have concidered turning into a cat a long time ago. Akito had been surprisingly quiet, not nagging him for stealing the lobster or for attacking Ikki. It made him wonder where his other self had gotten to. Either way, the little kitten was enjoying his reign of terror over the group. He had decided to change the rules of their deal, making the other four worship and, while not adore, follow his orders to every last word. Ikki had been told to play tag with an Akita ten times his size and was currently hiding in a tree.

Kazu, being decided as the next most intelligent one (despite any other way Agito had said it), had been promoted to lacky instead of lap dog. He took it as a compliment. Everyone else was still forced to grovel and bring 'sacrifices', as they were called. Most of it was just random shiny objects the group found on the side of a road.

While Agito was busy ruling his new empire, Ikki was faced with a challenge. How to get away from the giant orange Akita, the Shiba Inu, two Kai Kens, and Shikoku puppy that had cornered him in the tree. Clinging to a branch for deal life, snapping slavering jaws came close to closing around his feathery tail. Ikki hissed, swiping a paw at the dog's nose. "Back of, dog breath! Don't make me hurt you!"

The larger dog, the Akita, laughed, circling the base of the tree. "Come down, little kitty. We only want to play."

"Yeah. Hide and seek. You come down from the tree, close your eyes, and we'll go and hide."

"Ha! Jokes on you! There's no where to hide around here!"

Canines exchanged looks. Was this cat serious? They broke out into laughter, ears back as far as they could go. "That's a good one. Acting dumb your way of tryin' to confuse us?"

Ikki gave them a confused look. "Acting dumb?"

The dogs growled, turning their backs on the tree. "C'mon, guys! This one's all skin and bones, no brain or muscle. I'm sure we can find some pretty liddle thing to chase 'round." The four other dogs looked excited, tails wagging as they left the poor Siberian to his lonely doom.

Sadly for the leader of Kogarasumaru, two squirrels living in the tree didn't like the company. They chattered, chuckling acorns at the large ball of fluff. Finding his rear end being pummeled by the hard shelled fruits, Ikki yowled. He couldn't get down from the tree. He could leap off buildings, soar dozens of feet up in the air, and yet he had trouble getting down from the tree. Eventually the little rodents got tired with the fat butt in the way of their nice city view. One brave squirrel soul came forward, shoving until Ikki tumbled out, landing with a thud on the ground. "Ow. Thanks for nothing, chupmunks!" That earned him an acorn to the head.

Back at Agito City- I mean the patch of shade by a tree in the park, Agito was sitting on his throne, a large stone twice his size, looking down on Buccha and Onigiri. Kazu was lying on a tree branch, shaking his head at the specticle. He had been hoping Ikki would come back soon to sort out the situation. Agito was a worse ruler to follow than the one Chiwa had chewed up and left uneven the few precious minutes he had before he had to leave for school.

Much to the gladness of the orange and white Maine Coon, Ikki came tearing over to them, a pack of dogs barking and swearing behind him.

Agito growled, claws unseathing, "Stupid crow! That is the last fucking time I let him leave with his ears in tact!" He leaped down from his perch, darting to meet the head dog up front. That was the last time he let Ikki do any recon missions! Well, he couldn't say he hadn't been expecting this.

Kazu climbed his way down from the tree, going to stand next to Onigiri and Buccha. "We have to help them." Unfortunately, he was right. The three other cats took off after Agito, yowling out the Kogarasumaru battle cry along the way. However, large dogs plus small cats equals no chance. Much to Agito displeasure, he was ushered off away from the fight, the team tearing off through the city with the dogs after them.

"Gettem!" the large Dane snarled, the smaller, faster dogs sprinting forward.

Walking down the street, Izumi whistled a small tune to himself. It couldn't a more perfect day. Simca had visited him, he had upgraded his AT's dramatically, and he was on his way to a job interview. It couldn't get any better. He looked at the pack of five cats tearing down, nearly settping on more than one of them. He turned on the ball of his foot to avoid them, nearly tripping. "Stupid cats!" the brown eyed boy called after them. However, the dogs easily ran Izumi over, getting muddy pawprints on the back of his shirt and even one right smack dab in the middle of his forehead. The teen growled and glared at the retreating animals. "Yeah! You better run!" Now what was he to do? Taco Bell sure wasn't going to hire a muddied up delivery boy. And he needed this job.

Panting, paws hitting the ground in a rhythmic manner, Ikki led the group around in circles. He had no idea where he was going. The world looked entirely differnet from the eyes of a cat. He was doomed! He didn't want to die by being eaten by a bunch of stray dogs! Thankfully for the group of cats, the dog catcher had been called. In the mass chaos, they slipped out of view, having to drag Agito away by his ears. "That was a close one!" the leader cat panted, looking over his shoulder at the fuming dogs. Sticking his tongue out, Ikki raised his tail, leading his team back to the park where they had started at.

Ikki was quick to claim the rock as his own, leaving Agito planning revenge. "Hey! That's my rock!"

"I don't see your name on it."

"Get off it, stupid crow!"

"Make. Me."

With a growl, Agito leaped at Ikki. The ensureing battle would forever be a record in cat history. With his smaller size and quicker speed, not to mention more battle experience, Agito was able to regain his throne, leaving Ikki bruised and bloodied up on the ground with Kazu trying so hard to hold back his laughter. "Well, now we know the animal heicarchy."

"I demand a recount!"

"It's not a democracy, Ikki."

"..."

"You're hired!"

Izumi celebrated for the rest of the day.

For lack of a Taco Bell delivery boy, Izumi was thrown in there. He is owned by Etsuuko and thus does not belong to me. So ha. Go read The Masses. You'll love it. Trust me.

And whala! More randomness! I had to be dramatic with Spitfire. I had to. Deal with it.