Well, this chapter is finally done! And so is the next one... but the next one's been done for a while. I should go dig up my rough little dialogue I want to includein my final chapter from my inbox, because I'm almost done with this.
Wow. I'm almost done with this. Almost done with my love, my baby!! I have actually started to focus more on Lost Control, the sister story, the story that helped inspire the whole "what if" concept for me. I'm working on it, I'm working on it! I want this to be done by Christmas break (and you know with my writers block, it might take that long.). Hopefully by Thanksgiving it'll be finished. Actually... oh, that's an idea, there! Thanksgiving... epilogue... ooh!
So, you see, I'm not sure how much more there is, but it's wrapping up. A little more drama left, of course there is! But... yeah. This will be my second completed long term fic that is not for a challenge. The first one was horrible, so hopefully this turns out a little better.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight!
"I'm still thirsty," I lied to Carlisle. He nodded, understanding.
"Go ahead. Just try not to go too close to Forks, please."
"You're not going to stop me?"
"Do you really think I can? Or that I will? Jasper, I let Edward go off on his own years ago and we had been together for many decades. I've barely known you for a day. It's not my concern what you hunt. Just where." I tried to comprehend what he was trying to stay to me. "In other words, I'm not going to 'curb your diet' as Edward has so delicately put it."
"Well then… I'm off." He stood and nodded.
"Alright. Good luck. Have fun. Be safe." He walked away without any concern in his aura. Good luck? Have fun? What was this, a sport, to him? I nearly laughed.
I ran out of the house into the cool evening. Cool air and rain hit me, filled my lungs. The filling of one part of my body reminded me of something else that was full.
I puked again in the bushes. I would have in Bella's truck, but I was trying to be nice.
Then I ran, off into the woods. I hadn't hunted like this in decades, so it was very unfamiliar to me. A deer passed my way, but I decided against it. It could turn me off again.
A delicious scent wafted towards me and I moaned in content. I lunged toward it, whatever it was, and sucked the figure dry. It wasn't as sweet as human blood, nor as satisfying, but it was still pretty good. When I pulled back, I discovered that it was a lion. Edward's favorite, I remembered.
I licked my lips, swallowing the taste and the fire. It didn't satisfy the burn completely, but it numbed it. I put it to the back of my mind and turned for the Cullen house.
By the time I got back, it was late. I expected Bella to be asleep, muttering nonsense under her breath. I was met at the door by an exasperated Emmett.
"She won't go to sleep without you there!" he growled. "What've you done except threaten her?"
"I don't know," I answered him truthfully. "Where is she?"
"Alice's room. Come on, I'll show you the way." I followed the burly boy upstairs and to a door that I would have known was Alice's – even without the big sign that she had placed. It just had her personality all over it. Stickers and decorations covered the entrance. It was closed.
Emmett reached out his hand and jiggled the door knob. Nothing happened. He sighed and mumbled, "It's always like this," before pounding on the door! "Alice, I have him!"
The door swung open. There she was, clad in pajamas (why, I didn't know. Perhaps her love to shop had gotten to her again). Bella sat on a wide, pullout couch. Pink, of course. She was wide awake, as alert as ever. She sighed in relief when she spotted me.
"Jasper!" she exclaimed. I glared.
"Why aren't you asleep? It's late. It's past two in the morning." She shrugged shyly.
"I don't know. I couldn't fall asleep. I wanted to make sure you came back okay. Alice said you were hunting." An uncomfortable silence pursued. A brilliant shade of red crept up into her cheeks. "Um… did you…?"
"No. Forks is awfully small. I'm content with the blood packages though. Not quite as good, but satisfying, at least." She nodded, pursed lips.
"He's here, now will you please go to bed?" Alice begged. "We can't go shopping if you're half dead tomorrow!"
"Wow, I can't imagine someone who would be half dead," Bella said sarcastically. Alice grinned and laughed, but rolled her eyes anyway.
"That's it, you little human! Bed!"
"Little? I'm little? Alice, look in the mirror!"
"I can't, I'm too short," Alice grumbled. "Jasper, help me out here? Put her to sleep."
"H-h-how?" She gave me the look that you give somebody really stupid. I wasn't even paying attention to what was going on, just her beautiful gold eyes, her dark, spiky hair, her tiny little figure so different from my own… everything about her was perfect.
"Um, I don't know, make her super sleepy? Just do it!"
"Oh!" Within moments, Bella was fast asleep. I turned to leave, but Alice stopped me.
"Stay. If she wakes up, I won't be able to get her back to sleep. And if you leave, she'll wake up. So… just stay." I didn't even bother to sort through the emotions flowing in the air. I nodded.
"Okay, then."
We stood in silence for a while, the lights off for Bella. All we could hear was her slow rhythmic breathing and soft heartbeat. And the doctor show on downstairs, and Emmett and Rosalie arguing about something, and Esme painting, and Edward tinkering on the piano. Okay, fine, there were a lot of sounds, but we weren't focusing on most of it.
Minutes ticked by. I stood in my corner and Alice stood on her. After about an hour of doing nothing, she sat down with a magazine and idly flipped through. Suddenly, she looked up at me.
"Do you still like to read?" It was a very strange question, of course, but I had no problem answering it.
"Yes, I do. But I haven't actually gotten to in a while."
Alice slid a cardboard box over to me.
"It's all your stuff. You left it with me, remember? I figured that you would want it back one day, if we ever met up. And so we have."
"Why did you bother?"
"I knew you'd get it back eventually. So, I just helped the Fates a little. I love to meddle with the future. It's fun, at times, when it doesn't get me in trouble. I'm not allowed to meddle with Edward, he gets really mad. Of course, it doesn't mean I can't play a little matchmaker, does it?" She laughed, her eyes darting to Bella. Ah. I saw now. Bella was the one that Edward felt attraction to, not Alice. Good for him, I suppose. Bella returned his feeling, didn't she? I had often felt love in her presence, especially when we were with the Cullens.
"That's nice. Edward must have a lot of control, to even think about a relationship with a human."
"I know! He's amazing, really, almost as good as Carlisle. Bella is his weakness, she smells especially good to him. Anyhow, I've been telling him that if he just talked to her and all, she'd like him back. He doesn't believe anyone could love a monster, as he calls himself."
"I see exactly his sentiment."
"And I see exactly Bella's."
"What kind of monster are you in love with?" She didn't respond for a long time. I picked my way through the box and was a bit dismayed that the clothes I left were a bit out of style. I desperately needed new ones. However, I did find a bit of reading material. I remembered getting it, years and years ago.
--Flashback
"What did you get?" I asked as I saw that her eyes were lit up like light bulbs. I could feel the excitement leaking off of her.
"Gone with the Wind. I don't know why, I just had a vision of you liking it. And for me, I got 1984. It seemed appropriate, seeing as its about a supposed vision of the future. Have you heard of either?" I shook my head, but couldn't wait to get my hands on the book she mentioned for me. I loved to absorb knowledge, to read and learn. It wasn't exactly something I would mention willingly to the average passerby or to my armies. Not even Peter and Charlotte. But Alice seemed to be someone I could trust.
--Flashback
I hadn't read it in years, not since I had left. Then again, I hadn't read anything at all.
"She likes you," Alice whispered, breaking the silence. "She likes you more than you realize. She's falling in love."
"What?"
"Bella. She loves you. Well, she's falling in love."
"No! She likes Edward, I feel it every time!"
"Are you mental? It's you. Trust me on this one. She told me. We were talking. She's a nice girl, really. And it's nice to have friends outside of the family. She loves you. She told me in confidence. Of course, she doesn't know anything about… us, but that was a long time ago, anyhow."
Bella was in love with me. Bella was in love with me. Bella was in love with me. Bella was in love with me. However many ways I tried to get it through my head, it dazed me.
"I've done nothing but scare her! Why?"
"She sees the real you. She sees your struggle. She knows you want to be good, but it's hard. She understands it, too. She's very smart for a human, very insightful. Very old fashioned as far as humans go. She was born in the wrong century, really. You two would be nice together." Her voice didn't waver, didn't crack. I was surprised at how well she was taking it, for I wasn't doing nearly as well. My arms shook violently. I glanced at the sleeping figure.
"I think she's deeply asleep by now. Do you mind if I… step out for a bit? I need some air."
"No, go ahead, it's fine. If she's going to wake up, I'll let you know."
And I bolted.
When I got to the stairs, Edward was still playing the piano. Now his tinkering had a tune, a melody. Slow and soft, it went, reminding me of a lullaby. At one point his fingers picked up and the song was happy. I thought about the times I had spent with Alice. Very quickly, it regained it's sad tone. What could possibly inspire this change in emotions?
"Bella," Edward answered. "Bella inspired it. It's sad and slow because… because I'm a monster and could kill her at any second. And it's happy because there's the possibility, just a slight one, that she doesn't care." He sighed, glancing at me, his fingers never stopping. "But it's no use. She's interested in another monster."
"Who?" I asked, though he knew that I was aware of her feelings for me.
"Mike Newton," he joked. "His thoughts about her are vile!"
"You realize that it's only been two or three days that I've been in Forks? And so much has changed! I hunted animals again, I went to school – real school! I found Alice... do you think she'll take me back?"
"Of course," Edward told me as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "She's just not sure if you'll take her. If I'm correct in my assumptions, you ran away."
"I thought she hated me," I whispered. "I thought she was angry."
"So what? She's angry. Alice is always angry at me and we're still friends. She just needed time. Of course she was disappointed, but we all make our slip ups. No big deal, really. You did well for a beginner."
"I disappointed her." Edward just concentrated on his music, slipping into a faster tune.
"You overreact a lot," he noted after a few minutes. "My family tells me I have the tendency to, also, but I never really understood how annoying it was."
"Annoying?" My blood boiled – figuratively, of course.
"See? Overreaction." Edward chuckled. "Emmett thinks I should go to anger management. He even verbalized it! Then we played chess. I crushed him."
"Do you think… that if I asked her… she would accept me?"
"Sure, why not?" The song ended and the boy twisted around in his seat to face me. "Here's a deal – you talk to Alice and I'll talk to Bella." I nodded.
"Sounds good." I heard Bella roll over in bed upstairs, her heart rate pick up.
"Jasper, come upstairs, please! She had a nightmare and I can't get her to calm down!" I dashed to join them.
Bella collapsed in my arms, pressing her tear stained cheeks against my shirt. I pushed her hair out of her face gently.
"What's wrong, Bella? What is it?" I prodded. "What happened in your nightmare?"
"It wasn't a nightmare! It was a good dream!" she sobbed. "But he doesn't like me like that."
"What? Who? I'm confused."
"Edward. He doesn't like me. But… I think I love him. I don't know why, I just do! I didn't even think I loved him until this dream and… oh!"
"What happened?"
"We were talking. Arguing. About something. I teased him and he got mad. But then he looked at me and wasn't mad anymore. At all. And then… I kissed him. And he kissed me back, before he pulled away. And then… he leaned in and his teeth were bared and I woke up. He was very gentle, I remember."
"Alice said you like me." I was thoroughly confused.
"I thought I did. But then again, I've never been in love before. I'm not very good at distinguishing love and love as best friend."
"I'm not your best friend, Bella. I was going to kill you, you know."
"So you're not going to anymore?"
"Not anymore."
"When did you decide this?"
"A couple hours ago."
"Oh." She pulled away from me. "So you had me all worked up about dying for nothing! Thanks a lot! I was preparing my list of last things I wanted to do!" I chuckled as she glared.
"What, do you want to be dead?"
"No! I just think it's stupid that I'm worked up over nothing!"
"Bella?" Edward was standing at the door, nervous radiating off of him. "I heard what you were saying before and I can't believe you said any of it." She blushed scarlet and buried her face in her hands. "I don't like you like that… I like you more."
"Not as much as I love you," she mumbled, mortified.
"No. Of course not. More."
I took that as a chance to flee the room. They were so blindly in love, they would follow each other anywhere. I recognized it. I had felt it once too. I shuddered as every moment I spent with her replayed in my head, torturing my mind with what I used to have.
I hope you are anticipating what's next... FLASH BACK CHAPTER!! I adore that chapter, adore, adore, adore it! I admit, after rereading some of my fave fics recently, that I probably pulled some inspiration from You've Kept Me Waiting by Mandi1. It's amazing, give it a try. It's so realistic, I love it. I actually took some more inspiration than just the flashbacks from there. I DO know that I used one little bit that I thought was cute... Jazzy doesn't/didn't know how to drive. So, I am giving the credit to the rightful author, now that I remember it. Great story, give it a try. I didn't intentionally use the ideas, they just slipped in. And they're not that similar! They're actually very different. I think that's the story that gave me this idea in the first place, anyways...