Chapter One

Wow… I really didn't anticipate such a positive response to this. THANK YOU!

Ok, this is officially taking on a life of its own, from a few drabble-y scenes to a real story, mostly as I flesh Kam out… originally it was all Jack's head. Anyway, the M warning continues to stand. I hope y'all continue to enjoy.

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Chapter Two

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"Dreams pass into the reality of action. From the actions stems the dream again…"

– Ananis Nin

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Strong arms held him close, bringing a sense of security he knew he'd never felt in real life… a scent… something so familiar it had to be real… spice… musk… heat…

"I will love you for the rest of my life…"

The words broke his heart. Nno one would ever love him, not in real life.

But there were those arms again, wrapping him up in warmth like a blanket and when he looked up he saw blue eyes… the most beautiful blue eyes… they belonged to a man who didn't care what he was… a man who saw him as a real person, not a Service Provider, two holes and a stem.

Kam felt wakefulness returning to his body and clung desperately to the dream for as long as he could. He clung to the feeling of warmth. Of love… of being loved. Of loving somebody. Something so simple, it shouldn't be so impossible, but he knew it was. He knew what people saw when they looked at him.

It was only his dreams that he found any comfort.

It was the same dream he'd always had, for as far back as he could remember… sure, there were variances. When he was much younger, the arms held him protectively like a father might – not that he'd ever known his father.

As he grew older, the arms held him like a lover would. A real lover. Somebody who honestly cared…

But it was just a dream.

The dream of every child sold to one of the Red Houses by destitute parents, he imagined. It was the dream that some day, somebody (preferably rich, of course) would walk in the door and want him for who he was, not what he could provide. An hour's entertainment. A night of mind blowing sex. A fantasy.

Then they went back to their lives while he was stuck in his, wondering what the next client would want, wondering if the next person who came through the door would be his man with the blue eyes.

Kam knew that in reality no such man existed. Handsome men with strong arms and blue eyes only swept into the lives of people like him in trashy romance novels and stupid dreams.

Shaking off the last of remnant of the fantasy he knew would only make him miserable, he dragged himself out of his bunk. Luck was still with him, Fletcher wasn't in his bed. Maybe he'd found someone else to fuck.

"God, I hope so," Kam muttered. He wasn't sure he could endure six months of Fletcher's abuse.

Fucking was no problem. Fucking, sucking, whatever. He had two holes and a stem and he knew how to use them. But Fletcher's tastes ran towards the sadistic… not that that was a new experience, either, but at least in the Houses, he'd had proper medical care afterwards. Time for the bruises to heal, if only because the next client didn't want to look at his predecessors' handiwork. There were days he looked forward to the sadistic types; a few well placed bruises meant a week off with nothing to do but read and dream.

Here on the outside, on this little ship, there was no protection, no time off. No place to get away. If he went to the infirmary, he would have to explain where the bruises came from. The truth would only turn the crew more against him than they were already.

At least as things stood, he could count on them not to tell the Captain or Mr. Smeed. The crew would almost always stick together against the senior offices. But if he turned snitch, it was over, the Captain would be told. He could void Kam's contract and dump him on the first habitable planet.

Or worse, he could take him back.

He suspected that Mr. Smeed had figured it out all on his own, but the man struck him as the 'don't ask / don't tell' type. As long as he kept his nose clean and stayed out of the Captain's way, like Mr. Smeed said he should do when he signed him on, he would be fine.

He only wished Smeed had assigned a post that brought him into less contact with the Captain, but what he'd said about growing up on an F-class ship was true. He'd learned to fly, he remembered his mother telling him, even before he could walk. Which wasn't uncommon on some ships… she was pilot and there was no such thing as child care, so where she went, so did her son.

Kam shook his head to clear it of bittersweet memories. It wasn't his mother who had sent him to the Red House.

He found a clean shirt and pants and grabbed up his little bag of personal necessities. Now, if luck held, Fletcher wouldn't be in the showers, either.

As it turned out, his luck did hold, but only a little. It wasn't Fletcher in the showers, it was Maecus Leese and Roberta Tolbert.

He didn't know much about Tolbert, but being stationed next to Leese on the bridge the two few weeks, he had a feel for the man's personality and he didn't like it.

"Shower's full," Leese informed him in a gruff tone.

He was a little older than Kam, maybe in his twenties, like Fletcher. Like Fletcher, he had thick dark hair; unlike Fletcher, Leese was dark skinned and wore his hair a little on the long side. He let his beard grow, too, something no reputable Captain would tolerate.

Of course one didn't find oneself on a ship like this, under a short term contract, if one could find work under a reputable Captain…

"Leave off," Tolbert rose to Kam's defense. "There's two of us and six stalls."

Kam felt his cheeks grow flush as he wondered why exactly she was coming to his defense. The whole crew knew what he was… he wondered what she wanted from him.

Leese was about to open his mouth, most likely to argue with her, when the door opened.

It took Jack all of three seconds to see that something was brewing, although he had no idea what. "Problem in here, Kids?" he asked in a brisk, friendly tone as he set his down toiletry bag on the counter just inside the door.

"No, Sir." Lesse answered without quite making eye contact.

"Good." Jack stripped quickly out of his clothes, tossing them into a heap in the corner. "Hope you don't mind," he said to his crewmen. "This morning's… mishap… made a mess of my quarters. But don't let my being here stop you Kids from whatever you were up to," he shot a wink at the three of them as he headed down to the last stall in the row.

Leese, he knew, had his eye on several of the ladies aboard, including Tolbert. Not that he expected her to be swayed by Tall Dark and Handsome over there.

Jack had found much amusement over the centuries making predictions about who would end up with whom, at least in the short term.

Awkwardly, Leese slipped out of the rest of his clothing and took the shower stall furthest away from the Captain. The 'stalls' were little more than waist high barriers between spigots, designed to offer only the vaguest amount of privacy. And the Captain had a certain reputation…

Tolbert sidled in a couple stalls down from Leese, still keeping a courteous distance from the senior officer.

Kam felt his gut tightening as he slipped out of his own clothing, folding his dirties up methodically and setting them on the shelf next to his little necessities bag. He didn't remove the thick leather bands on his wrists.

He picked up his bag and looked down the row of showers. Aware of Lesse's disdainful glower, a look of clear warning, he realized, Kam walked past Leese, just like he'd originally intended to do anyway, and took the slot one down from Tolbert. Everybody knew Leese had his eyes on her; Kam would rather stand next to the Captain than risk Leese's ire, even if was relatively certain Tolbert wasn't going to return Leese's 'affections.'

"So we meet again," the Captain shot a wry smirk his way.

Kam cleared his throat. He didn't want to respond, he just wanted to keep his nose clean and stay out of the Captain's way. But he had to say something; he'd been spoken to. "Yes, Sir, so it seems." He turned on the water and prayed that the Captain would ignore him.

The spray of hot water washed away the last of the dream that still managed to haunt him. Kam stood under it so long, his eyes closed, his mind focused on Nothing, that he didn't notice it wasn't long before he and the Captain were the only two people left in the showers.

"You gonna leave any hot water for the next guy?" the Captain's voice cut through the Nothing.

Kam blinked. He realized his fingers were pruning. "I…" he noticed that the Captain was standing in front of him holding something.

A towel.

With shaky hands, he accepted it, suddenly fearful of what the rest of the crew would think of him being alone with the Captain… he knew they would find out. It wasn't his reputation, per se, he was concerned with. He was beneath the crew and he knew it. What he didn't want was them thinking he was trying to get above himself. Above them…

"You ok?"

Kam blinked. "Sir?"

"I couldn't help but notice the bruises, there."

He flushed. "I… must've knocked myself around this morning," he covered quickly, suddenly grateful for the incident that had sent them all tumbling around the ship. "I'm sure it's nothing," he added quickly, fearful that the Captain would suggest a trip to the infirmary.

Jack nodded, his expression carefully masked so as not to betray his skepticism. Some of the bruising might be from this morning, but some of it was clearly a week old or more. Maybe it was time to have that chat with Smeed after all…