Chapter 19

There was silence for a moment in the living room. Gina knelt on the floor, the gun still held loosely in her hand as Hutch collected his wits around him. Shaking himself out of his shock, he swiftly tied Ramsey's hands behind his back and left the lawyer still unconscious on the floor.

Next, he checked on Gina. The woman was terrified and shaking, her face grey as she slowly descended into shock. Hutch pulled her to her feet and guided her over to one of the easy chairs in the living room. He fumbled about in Ramsey's drinks cabinet and returned a moment later with a brandy bubble containing an inch of amber liquid.

'Here, drink this' he said softly. 'It'll steady your nerves.'

'Where are you going?' she asked as she took the glass.

'To check on Starsk. Hold on. I'll be right back.'

Hutch went to the bathroom door and knocked quietly. 'Starsk? Are you ok buddy?'

'I said I was fine' the curt reply came from the interior of the room. Starsky had managed to get himself into the bathroom, had been quietly sick and was now using Ramsey's wash cloths to clean away the blood that trickled down the inside of his leg. His mind was numb, unable to take in what had just occurred. He didn't blame Hutch for doing what he had to do. Gina would be dead now if he hadn't. But the violation; the assault on him by his best friend was more than he could bear and he wanted to lock himself away and never have to face those crystal blue eyes ever again.

Hutch wasn't for giving up that easily though and he rapped on the door harder this time.

'Starsk, please buddy. I need to come in. We need to talk. Please? Open the door huh?'

Slowly the sound of the bolt being withdrawn led to the door opening a crack and Hutch walked into the bathroom as Starsky stood with his back to him. Hutch reached out to touch his partner, but Starsky flinched away.

'Don't touch me.'

'What?' the words were like a bullet through the heart to the blond. 'Starsk, I did what I had to do. I'm sorry buddy, truly I am.'

'I know. I know why ya did it, an' I'm grateful it was you an' not someone else. But…'

'But what?'

'Nuthin.'

'Uh huh. Not nuthin. Tell me' Hutch persisted.

The curly haired man whirled, anger in his eyes – anger, and hurt. 'Tell ya what? That it's fine? That everythin' is ok an' we can just get back into the Torino an' drive away as though nuthin happened? Well I can't Hutch, I can't. Call me shallow or crazy or a coward if ya want, but I can't just ignore this. I can't sweep it under the carpet like it never happened. Coz it did. You were forced to fuck me. And not only that, but to make it extra special, my girl had to watch!' Starsky's body shook so violently, that he fell back against the wall, clawing at the pale blue tiles for support.

Hutch closed his eyes in pain. No, it would never be the same again. In place of their closer than close partnership, there was now a ragged, raw wound that he doubted even eternity would heal.

There was nothing more to say. Apologies seemed hollow and empty. What was the use of wasting the words? And apart from that, what was he apologizing for? He'd done what he was forced to do; forced, so that he could save their lives. The blond swallowed down the lump in his throat.

'So what do you wanna do now? Ramsey's out cold in the other room. Ya gonna take him in? Throw the book at him?'

Pained indigo eyes looked up sharply. 'No. I can't' Starsky said with an edge of panic in his voice. He couldn't bear the thought of having to write a statement about what had happened. Knowing Ramsey and his connections, the lawyer would never plead guilty. There would be some fancy get out and the very idea of a trial….. 'No' the brunet said again.

Hutch read his partner's mind perfectly, the same thoughts having run through his own head. 'Then what?' he asked.

'Dunno.'

'Starsk, we have to do something. And if we aren't takin' him in, then what?'

'Lose him' the brunet grunted. 'Take him to the state limits an' lose him, with a threat never to let him set foot in California again.'

'You mean that? You'd really just let him go?'

'I don't know what else to do Hutch. I can't face writin' down what's happened to me… to us. Hell, I can't even bear to think about it right now. An' we can't just leave him here. What else is there?'

Hutch nodded. 'Ok. I see your point, an' I agree. But you aren't in any fit state to drive anyone anywhere. You're hurt. Can ya get yourself back home? I'll deal with Ramsey.'

The brunet nodded wearily. 'Sure, but what about Gina?'

'Let me go see to her. She's as badly shaken up as we are. I left her with some brandy.'

'She's been to hell an' back coz of Ramsey' Starsky said softly. 'An' I though she acted like that coz she didn't love me.'

Hutch padded out into the living room, coming back a moment later with a thunderstruck look on his face

'She's gone.'

'What?'

'Gina. She's gone.'

'She can't be' Starsky snapped, heading out into the living room. 'We were only a few minutes. What the…..'

'We were gone long enough for her to have written this buddy. I'm so sorry' Hutch handed a note to his partner with a frown. Starsky took it and read it under his breath.

Dave, I have to leave, I can't face anyone after tonight.

Don't try to look for me, you won't find me.

I'm leaving the country.

I love you

He looked up. 'No….she's…..Noooooo?'

'Starsk, you're in shock babe. You should get yourself home. Can you drive? I'll take Ramsey and deal with him an' maybe look for her along the way. She can't have gone too far.'

'She's….I um….yeah, 'k. Just get that fuckin' bastard outa here huh? I just….'

Hutch watched his partner's face crumple, the hours of strain finally taking their toll. Instinctively, he reached for Starsky's arm to hold him and offer some support and was once more rejected as the brunet pulled himself sharply away. Hutch closed his eyes in despair.

'Starsk, please….. I'm sorry buddy, for….'

The curly haired cop turned away, the palms of his hands grinding into his hot, tired eyes. 'Just go. I'll be fine.'

'You're not fine buddy, you're hurtin'. Let me…..'

Starsky whirled, an angry scowl creasing his featured into deep creases. 'I said I'm fine!' He yelled, his voice loud in the confines of the living room. 'I'm fine. Just go.'

'Um….ok. I'll take Ramsey and um….. Are you sure you're…' Hutch stopped as he saw Starsky's shoulder muscles bunch together '….ok, I'm going. I'll check in with ya later, ok?'

The brunet watched as Hutch pulled the now semi conscious Ramsey to his feet. Was he doing the right thing in letting the lawyer go? Was he taking the coward's way out in not testifying? As Hutch pulled Ramsey up, Starsky crossed the room.

'Wait' he snarled, taking a handful of Ramsey's hair in his hand and jerking the lawyer's head up. Pale eyes forced themselves open and Ramsey stared at Starsky with fear and loathing. The sentiment was echoed in the brunet's pained indigo eyes.

'My friend here wanted to take you in. I wanted to shoot ya, right here an' now. My friend wouldn't let me' Starsky snarled, shaking Ramsey's head for extra effect. 'My friend says we should let the goons in Folsom have their way with ya. Ya like rough sex? Believe me, if you were in there, you'd get more kink than you could ever imagine. They did an autopsy once, on a guy like you who was an inmate. Found a pint of semen in his stomach. Is that rough enough for ya Ramsey? Is that sick enough for ya?'

The lawyer nodded his head, his eyes still fixed on the crazed brunet in front of him. Starsky's eyes still held the threat of retribution in them and even with Hutch's strong arms around him, Ramsey knew there would be no escape if Starsky was to let fly. Suddenly the hunter and become the hunted and all the pain and suffering he'd put the curly haired cop through in the past weeks was coming back to haunt him. The law man's mind was calculating odds, wondering how he could back himself out of this situation with his life and his limbs in tact, because just then he doubted Starsky would care about losing his badge over killing him. He licked his lips.

'What do you want?'

'What do I want? I want this never to have happened, that's what I want. I want my old life back, when my partner was my partner and not my rapist…'

Hutch's heart gave a lurch as he heard the brunet's words and yet they were true. He was a rapist, although there were mitigating circumstances. Those circumstances did not, however, alter the fact that Starsky was a victim in all of this. He held on to Ramsey all the tighter as Starsky continued.

'….I want a life where I'd never even heard of Ian Ramsey, an' ordinarily, I'd want a world where you got to suffer as much as I'm sufferin' now. But ya see Ramsey, that's where you an' me differ. I said right back at the beginning that I have scruples. I have feelin's and thats somethin' you'll never have. It aint no point in us takin' you in, coz all your fancy lawyer friends would just gather around an' come up with some fancy get out clause. So that aint gonna cut it. We gotta think of sumthin else, an' I'm bettin' that all your fancy customers wouldn't take kindly to knowin' that the Almighty Ian Ramsey makes filthy videos in his spare time. I bet we aint the first subjects huh? How many other customers have ya videoed when they didn't know?'

Ramsey blanched and struggled ineffectually in Hutch's grasp.

'Uh huh? I thought so. So here's the deal, sucker. You get out of here without a scratch on that freakin' face of yours an' my partner takes you to the state border an' you hot foot it across the line an' never come back into California. And in the meantime, Hutch 'n me, we take your stash of videos an' we keep 'em somewhere real safe, just in case you get any funny ideas. How does that cut it with ya?'

'I don't have a choice do I?' the lawyer said softly. His business head told him that this was the best he could hope for. He'd be alive and able to start up again elsewhere. 'What about my business and my partners?'

'You're gonna leave 'em a note. Things got too much for ya, the pressure too great. You went nuts an' you've decided to skip the country. Oh, an' if you even think about makin' contact with any of 'em, or stagin' a comeback, me an' Blondie here will be waitin' got that punk?'

Ramsey nodded weakly and Starsky let go of his hair, balling his hands into fists to stop himself from causing more damage to that smarmy face. 'Get him outa here an' I'll see to the evidence' the brunet sighed wearily. 'Just get him the hell outa here.'