I realize now that i made a tiny mistake. I said something about Meredith being an intern, but she's a resident and has interns...so anyways, here is another chapter for you, coming at again, 1 in the morning. P.S. Derek's in this chapter!

Someone to Love

Breathe

"Shh...Breathe Mere, just breathe okay?" Derek holds Meredith to his chest, she's practically in his lap, and he's stroking his thumb over her cheek, and holding her hand that's holding the paper bag to her face. Her eyes are closed and tears are leaking from her eyes, down her cheek, onto his thumb and dripping onto the paper bag.

When he came in and saw her like this he panicked, and for some reason he just couldn't help but run to her aid. He couldn't help it because he still loves her. This whole thing is one big contradiction. Here he is, in all his McDreamy...ness. He said he couldn't breath for her anymore. But he just can't help himself. He will never get over the feeling of having to be there for her. it's meant to be. This whole relationship, whether it seems like it's bad, works. She's everything he needs, she is it for him.It's hard to explain but he knows that she is it for him.

And he is all she needs. Even though she has this urge to run every time things get serious, he is still there. And the whole thing where he said he just couldn't do it anymore, was a huge blow; Because she knows that he is it for her. He is helping her come out of her dark and twisty self, very slowly, but she is. Derek backed out because he was scared. Hard to believe but it's true. When Meredith drowned he felt like a failure. He felt that he wasn't enough to bring her back, for her to want to live. He feels like she is constantly leaving him, even if her physical presence is there.

They both need to learn how to help each other. They both need to open there eyes a little wider and realize what they have. When they do, she wont feel the need to run so much, and he will feel like he is enough for her. Even this moment right now, right here in this closet shows him a little bit of how much she needs him. He's enough for her because she is no longer struggling for breath. his presence now is enough to bring her back.

"There you go." He whispers in her ear. "You can breathe on your own now." He then realizes what he just said and sighs.

He holds her closer to him, squeezing her so hard she gasps a little. Breathing in her scent he relaxes, and then releases her. To his surprise she doesn't move. She wraps her arms around his torso and holds on tight, remembering every good feeling she ever had with him, just from how he smells. God as she missed that smell. It's been so long now, his smell has now gone from the pillow his head used to lay on. The head that would watch her while she slept.

Now tears come for a whole different reason. Now she knows how much she needs him. she needs him to help her breathe sometimes. not all the time, just when things get tough. And she knows that things are almost always tough, but that's why people need someone, to help them get through it. She needs help to get through this. Even if he is the one who caused it.

"I..." She tries to say something but a sob catches in her throat.

"No...it's okay, don't speak..." He involuntarily kisses the top of her head. It's a habit.

Her instant reaction is to look up at him. She doesn't even lift her head from his chest, just loosens her grip on him and elevates her head a little. Just enough to see into those eyes of his. With that one look neither can help it, they both instantaneously move there heads, one upwards, the other downwards, until they meet in the middle. As soon as they meet in the middle all is found again. The feelings they both get feel so familiar none of them want to stop. It turns into a very heated kiss. Meredith, getting very much into it starts to pull Derek's scrub top off. Derek knowing that this is going to far stops.

"Meredith." He says, putting her at arms length and looking right into her eyes. He sees how hurt she is, and he also sees something else he can't quite put his finger on.

"Please..." She says just below a whisper. She needs this. She needs to feel his hands on her, she needs to feel wanted, loved.

"Meredith, believe me I want to. I want to be able to kiss you. I do." Derek's voice rises a little. He knows that he wants to be in this, but he wants his conscience clear.

"Rose..." Meredith says. Derek nods, and she leans into him again, only this time she just wants him to hold her.

GA

It's about an hour after her panic attach and again Meredith sits quietly in the chair next to Lyra's crib. Only Lyra is in her lap. She's holding on to both of Meredith's index fingers, and moving them up and down, up and down, and giggling softly to herself. Meredith just smiles inwardly to herself. She likes the feeling of making Lyra laugh and smile. Lyra always smiles and laughs when Meredith enters the room. It makes Meredith feel important, and loves the feeling she gets when Lyra snuggles into the crook of her neck and falls asleep.

Meredith has given into this new motherly... whatever. Even though it scares her a little, she welcomes it only when Lyra is present. When she's not, it turns into an kind of ache. She secretly wishes her mother was around to ask her about this feeling. But of course she isn't, and Meredith doesn't think she'd get much of an answer anyway.

"Lyra goes home tomorrow right?" George walks into the nursery and takes a seat in front of her. He makes a funny face for Lyra and then looks up at his friend. Meredith looks away from his gaze.

"She's an orphan George." She says flatly, turning Lyra around so she's facing her. She kisses the little girl on the nose, and smiles down at her and her alone.

George notes the mother hiding in Meredith and is taken aback. "What have you done?" He asks, indicating this unhealthy attachment.

"I haven't done anything." She says, her head snapping up to glare at him. He gives her a look that says otherwise. "She...she needs me." She says this is a sort of defeated manner.

"I know what your thinking Meredith, but yo-"

"Meredith?" Derek's head pokes around the door.

"Oh...Well...I'll..umm, I'll just, bye." George gets up and leaves without looking back.

Meredith, although she has no idea what is going to happen now, can't help but smile at Derek. Derek seems to have the same views because he sits down in the seat George was just in, that famous smile of his on his face. None of them say anything for a long time. Meredith just plays with Lyra, and Derek watches.

"She's Beautiful." Derek says, caressing the babies cheek.

"I know." Meredith replies, the way a mother would when doting on her daughter. "And She's leaving tomorrow..." A tear falls from her eye and she picks up Lyra and hugs her tightly to herself, not ever wanting to let her go.

So this was a little longer, and had more dialogue, and more Derek, and more Lyra. Please let me know what you think.