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chapter fifty-one

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just you and me
on this island of hope
a breath between us could be miles

let me surround you
my sea to your shore
let me be the calm you seek
-Sarah McLachlan, "I Love You"

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December 24, 2003
10:10 am

Sam awoke the next morning to the steady sound of Martin's heart beating as she lay comfortably with her head against his bare chest. She yawned quietly as she began to rouse from a sound sleep, but quickly settled back down against Martin, clinging to the last vestiges of rest.

The previous day had been exhausting from start to finish, and Sam was glad that she and Martin had managed to slip back to his place after dinner with his parents and his sister's family. As much as she was glad she had gone home to Kenosha over the Thanksgiving holiday, that resulted in it having been weeks since she and Martin last had the chance to see each other. Though she always missed him when they were apart, she was much more used to two and three week intervals; after five weeks, it seemed like an eternity. Her libido was in overdrive from the second she saw him waiting for them at Dulles.

She had never before been in a relationship with a man who was so sexually compatible but who also connected with her on an emotional level outside of the bedroom. She thought that emotional connection had been there when she was with Jack, but that turned out to be more of an ephemeral whim. He was her friend and her boss, but she had been mistaken for reading any true feelings of love into their affair. And he had made certain she was aware of that when he ended it.

She inhaled deeply, dispelling thoughts of her ex-lover from her mind and settling back down comfortably against Martin's chest. This was solid and real and comfortable, and there was no point in dwelling on the past when she was here in his arms.

Beneath her, Martin shifted and began to rouse from sleep, and she leaned over him and began trailing kisses along his jaw line as he awoke. Propping herself up on one elbow, she whispered, "Good morning."

"Mmmm," he groaned, rubbing sleepily at his eyes with his free hand. His eyes squinting open until they met hers, clear and blue and deep as he smiled, "Good morning."

Sam rotated her neck, working the kinks out. She settled back down against Martin; outside the bed the air was cool against her bare skin, but she felt warm and content between the comforter and Martin's torso. She sighed contentedly and said, "What time did we tell your parents we'd be over for dinner tonight?"

She felt Martin shift slightly beneath her as he tilted his neck forward, allowing him to kiss the top of her head. "Not until 5:00 tonight. That gives us time to settle in over there before Becca and Scott's plane lands at Reagan."

She paused for a moment to think about this, running one hand alongside of his rib cage in a soothing back and forth motion. "And they really haven't told your parents about the twins yet?"

"No, they haven't." Sam watched the gentle rise and fall of his chest as he frowned, deep in thought. "I can't say I really blame them. My father and Becca have rarely ever seen eye to eye on anything: school, life, family. With the adoption being such an involved process, I think she just wanted to take the added stress of Dad's disapproval out of the equation, knowing that as soon as they had the twins, Mom and Dad would fall in love with them the same way they did with Kelsey and Bridget."

"Makes sense," she agreed, stretching her arms out and sitting up in bed. She shivered as she leaned her upper body back against the headboard, and wiped the last remaining vestiges of sleep from her eyes. One quick glance at the clock and she was aware that it would be hours before they even had to think about getting out of bed and getting ready for dinner with his parents. With an impish grin and a glint in her eyes, she shifted and climbed over until she was straddling him. She leaned forward, her long blonde locks falling across his face as she supported her upper body on her elbows.

She kissed him long and deep, grinding her hips into him as she felt his early morning erection harden. When she finally pulled away, breathless, the bedroom air suddenly did not seem so cool anymore. Her eyes darkened and narrowed with desire as she whispered seductively in his ear. "So, how does spending the entire morning in bed with me sound?"

"Mmmm," he hummed appreciatively as she ran her index finger over the sensitive patch of skin just below his Adam's apple. Then suddenly he sat up in bed, grasping both of her hands firmly in his as he forced her to straddle his lap. Kissing her just beside her ear he murmured, "As wonderful as that sounds, I have other plans for us today."

Before she even had a chance to respond, he threw back the comforter, and the bed dipped and rose as he hopped out. She cocked a questioning eyebrow, taking the chance to admire his nude form in front of her.

He held his hands out to her, and she shivered involuntarily as he tugged her gently forward. His gaze was so intense, his eyes deep as oceans as he watched her with tender affection.

"I think," he began softly, "that I will start with a shower. Care to join me?"

She laughed and linked their hands together in response.

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12:30 pm

After a rather lengthy shower, they decided to skip breakfast and delve straight into lunch. When they finished, they settled into a routine at the sink as they did the dishes together: a sort of makeshift assembly line as Martin rinsed and scrubbed the dishes clean and then Sam wiped them down with the washrag and set them out to dry.

They worked together in comfortable silence, and Samantha's mind began to drift to how much this Christmas was different from recent years. For as many years as she could remember, she had opted to take call over Christmas and would frequently find herself in the office whether she was called in or not. This year, she not only took time off from work, but she traveled to Washington to spend the holidays with Martin and his family and, furthermore, she had been looking forward to this trip immensely.

As they finished the dishes, Martin took her hand and squeezed it affectionately. "Come here," he said, motioning with his free hand for her to follow him. "I have something I've been wanting to show you."

She nodded her head in assent and, playing off of his own evident excitement, followed him with eager anticipation. He led her down the stairs and into the basement, and she wondered what he could possibly have in mind.

While the rest of the downstairs of his home was elaborately decorated for the purposes of entertaining, the basement remained much more casual and private, rarely used for company unless the company was far less "formal" in nature. The basement held the wet bar, pool table, the big screen TV and entertainment center, as well as the doors to the back patio, and Sam knew that Martin preferred the casual, lived-in feel of the basement.

He led her over to one corner of the large open room and turned back, smiling profusely as he motioned behind him and declared, "We're going to decorate the Christmas tree."

Sam peered behind him at the tree that stood in the corner, the scent of the Fraser fir enveloping her senses as she edged closer. Eyeing him with bemusement, she observed, "But you have a tree already decorated upstairs in the living room."

"I know," he said dismissively, pushing two large cardboard boxes out of the corner and beginning to open them. "But that one is strictly for show purposes. This one," he proclaimed, "is mine."

She smiled at his boyish enthusiasm as he explained his family tradition regarding his personal ornament collection. Each year, from the time he was a newborn baby, his parents, grandparents and other close relatives would include at least one ornament along with his Christmas present, the idea being that once he grew up and had his own home, he would already have a full collection of Christmas ornaments.

With a dimpled grin and looking extremely pleased with himself, he placed a Santa hat triumphantly on his head and announced that they would start by untangling the long strand of tree lights. It was a lengthy process that involved several curse words escaping from her lips as she helped him untangle the lights and hang them on the tree, but she found herself really playing off of his excitement and boyish enthusiasm, feeling touched that he wanted to share this moment with her.

When they were finished, Martin plugged the lights in and the small colored bulbs lit up the room. Outside the sky was grey and dull, the clouds overcast and dark even in the middle of the afternoon, but the twinkle of the colored lights made the entire room seem warm and alive and shook Sam to her very core.

As they began to remove the ornaments from their boxes and decorate the tree, Sam took careful note of each ornament she unwrapped. The inside cover of each box was carefully labeled with the gift giver's name and the Christmas in which it had been given. Occasionally, she would ask him about a particular ornament or he would offer a story about the person who had given it to him, and Sam found herself growing more and more curious with each passing moment. She found herself really enjoying the stories of his childhood and learning more about how he became the man he was today.

At the bottom of the second box, Sam lifted out the larger box that held the angel that would be the tree topper. Martin grew quiet as he watched her hold the angel in her hands, and she gazed up into his eyes until he finally said, "Aunt Bonnie gave me that angel."

Sam remained silent, but tilted her head encouragingly, wanting to urge him on.

He went on to explain how his paternal grandmother died early in December the Christmas that he was six and that Aunt Bonnie had given him the angel in his grandmother's memory, a guardian angel who would watch over Christmas for him when she could not be there.

His voice broke as he finished relating the story, and she wrapped an arm around him, feeling an inexplicable need to be close to him as she shared in his memory.

She held the angel out to him and softly asked, "Do you want to do the honors?"

He smiled warmly and kissed her temple. "No," he replied, shaking his head. "You go ahead."

She climbed the small ladder and positioned the angel carefully atop the fully decorated tree. She turned towards him as she dismounted the ladder, stepping back to admire their handiwork. Snuggling into his shoulder against the soft cotton of his t shirt, she glanced up at him and asked, "So, what do you think?"

"I think..." he said breathlessly, gazing down at her with blue eyes full of tenderness and affection, "I think that it's perfect." He paused for a moment, and she held her breath as the entire world seemed to stand still. He ran one hand along the side of her face and added, "And I love you."

Her breath caught in her throat, and her head began spinning. Deep within her chest, her heart began pounding furiously as she realized the enormity what he had just said. She felt terrified and completely vulnerable, but she looked deep into his eyes and felt warm and cherished.

"Samantha," he breathed her name slowly. "I'm sorry if I've scared you, or if you think it's too soon. But I've been thinking about how to tell you for awhile now, and it just seemed like the right moment." He began rambling, and she could tell how nervous he had suddenly become. "It's alright if you're not ready to say it back," he stuttered. "I just wanted you to know how I feel..."

"Shhh," she interrupted, unaware she was actually speaking until she heard the words leave her lips. "I love you, too."

His face broke out in the widest grin she thought she had ever seen, and his eyes began to sparkle. He took both of her hands in his as they began to laugh softly together.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned forward, meeting him halfway in a passionate kiss. And for the first time in her entire life, Samantha poured her whole heart into something.

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