Here is another chapter!

Someone to Love

Let Go

Meredith heaves a big sigh. She feels her throat closing up and opens her mouth to see if it helps, but of course, a sob escapes. What the hell is wrong with her? Derek looks on with shock. knowing just what to do, he kneels down beside her and envelopes her and Lyra into a warm embrace. He feels Meredith shaking against his skin and kisses her softly on the lips. Meredith has become a mother, without even realizing it. He knows exactly what she'll be like when this baby is gone from her life. He loves Meredith so much, he doesn't want to see her so broken up.

"I can't...I can't do it Derek..." She says lifting her head and looking him in the eye.

"Meredith...you have to...you have to let go." Derek puts a hand on her cheek, she moves her head towards it, letting another tear escape. So many tears, you'd think she'd be completely dry by now.

Meredith shakes her head, "No...I don't want to...I..I..." She trails off, knowing exactly what she wants to say, but doesn't want to speak the truth out loud.

Derek gets up and paces the nursery, every now and then he looks back at Meredith, and then at Lyra. He sees how attached Lyra has become to Meredith. Lyra will probably be just as upset without Meredith, as Meredith will be without her. Meredith is the closest she's ever had to a mother. Derek doesn't even know why he's pondering this. It's just absurd. Meredith cannot adopt a baby.

"I am so tired." Meredith says this as if she was never crying. She stands up with Lyra at her hip, and wipes her eyes with her free hand. She walks over to Derek, and places the baby girl in his arms.

"Good idea, go home and sleep...I'll meet you there in an hour." Hhe smiles at the comment and Meredith smiles back, giving him a kiss on the lips, and then kissing Lyra.

She leaves the room, and the turns back with a sad look on her face, looking at the beautiful strawberry blonde baby girl, soaking her all in, including those pretty blue eyes. And then she's gone. Derek sighs and sits in a rocking chair close by. Lyra grabs on to a pen in his lab coat and tries to suck on it.

"No no...what does she call you? Lyra." He take the pen from her hand, and she grabs two of his fingers instead. Derek can't help but smile and laugh a little to himself. He sits Lyra facing him and tickles her. Lyra laughs and claps her hands.

"Meredith loves her you know." Derek looks over and sees Izzie standing in the doorway. Derek nods, and looks back at Lyra, who has stopped smiling all together and looks all around her. It's as if she just realized that Meredith left.

Lyra begins to cry. Izzie comes rushing over, her own instinct kicking in.

"No, I got it." Derek hugs Lyra close to him and whispers softly to her. He rubs the small of her back, something he's caught Meredith doing when Lyra is falling asleep. Lyra calms down a little but still tries to look for Meredith. Derek stands but and sways back and forth. Izzie looks on with interest.

Lyra settles to a hiccup, her head on Derek's shoulder, her fist rubbing her eyes. "She's just tired," He lies. He knows she's upset about Meredith leaving.

"Ah huh." Izzie smirks and leaves the nursery.

Derek is left standing there with a sleeping Lyra in his arms. He brings her over to her crib and gently places her in it. Instead of leaving right away he pulls up and chair and rests his arms on the crib, his head looking down to the floor. Another sigh escapes him and he lifts his head to place in both his hands. Bringing his hands down from his face he peers in at the sleeping baby girl Meredith seems to love so much.

"I see why she loves you." He says before getting up and heading home to Meredith.

GA

Derek enters a house of complete silence. He hangs his coat up on the hanger by the door, as if he had never been gone from this house. He checks the kitchen and then the living room before heading up the stairs to Meredith's room. When he reaches her door and listens intently, and hears her talking. Knocking on the door and opens to door and peeks in. There sitting on her Bed is Meredith. She's smiling and looking to her shoulder at something.

"What are you smiling about?" He asks, entering the room and closing the door behind him.

Meredith looks away from whatever is on her shoulder and looks at Derek, kind of surprised that he's there, like she forgot that he was back in her life again. once she realizes that this is real, she smiles and picks up, what he knows sees as a kitten, from her shoulder and holds it up for him to see.

Ah, cute." He says, walking over and sitting on the bed in front of Meredith. "Where did you get it."

"I got her, from George." She says. She turns the tiny kitten, which is long haired and calico and white.

"Well she is very cute." He kisses Meredith on her forehead and lays down with his arm over his head.

"I need to name her." Meredith places the kitten on Derek's knee. The tiny kitten walks up his leg, mews, and snuggles up under his chin. Meredith laughs at the sight of the two of them.

"How about...Amy?" Derek suggests. Meredith thinks about it for a minute and nods her head.

"I'm sorry." She Suddenly whispers, and Derek gets a curious look on his face. He reaches out and grabs a hold of her arm, pulling her down beside him. Now they face each other on the pillow.

"You have nothing to be sorry about." Thats his own way of saying it was his fault too. "I shouldn't have been to pushy." He then adds. Meredith nods in understanding and doesn't say another word. She takes Amy from under Derek's chin and puts her between her shoulder and her chin. The tiny little Amy snuggles up close, and soon Meredith can feel her vibrating, and a load purr come from that little body.

"I've missed you." She says just above a whisper. A need, another strong need come over her, one she is more familiar with. "Hold me?" She asks.

GA

Meredith wakes to Derek smirking at her. "What?" She asks. He moves closer and kisses her.

"Look at your nose." he says with a laugh. Meredith looks and sees a furry tail between her eyes and laughs with Derek. Amy must have moved during the night and has fallen asleep on Meredith's forehead. But as soon as that happiness had come, it vanished with the remembrance of what day it was.

Meredith goes silent and picks the kitten up from her head and kisses her nose, masking her sudden unhappiness. Derek notices right away and takes the kitten from Meredith and places her in a basket next to the bed. Amy just curls up and purrs.

"Come on Meredith." He says, pulling her close to him and trying to make her look at him.

"No." She says flatly. She takes a tone with him he's never heard, like a challenge.

"Meredith."

"I said no. I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to hear how I have to let go. I know. But I can't. I can't let her go dammit!" She stands up and paces the room. Derek sits up and watches her carefully. "She needs me Derek..." She then says, turning towards him and looking him in the eye, trying to make him see how different this all is for her.

Derek sighs and gets up. He tires to hold her but she pushes him away. "Now you can't do that Meredith. Alright? You can't just keep pushing me away." He's getting frustrated now.

Meredith stops in her tracks and looks at him again. she knows he's right, but it's part of her nature, she just has to get used to letting him n. "I'm sorry."

"Stop saying sorry and just tell me what you want." Derek moves closer to her again, she stands where she is. He cups a hand on her cheek, trying to coaxes her feeling sout into the open.

"I can't let go Derek...I just can't"

Soooooooooo...yeah...let me know what you think...please. :)