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Fairly Oddparents copyright Viacom

Chapter 13: When Timmy Met Sally

Written: 27 Feb 2005-4 Mar 2005

Posted: 5 Mar 2005

Lucas was starting to get worried. Cosmo and Maria were over two hours late. He knew that he was chewing his toenails to nubs, but he couldn't help himself. He ceased his nail chewing when his mother spoke.

"Quite worrying, Lucas," Fanny said, sipping her Earl Grey tea. "Wanda will rescue them like she always had."

Lucas had to smile. He had never known Cosmo and Timmy's mom to be in danger together before this. But he didn't know Maria all that well. "You're probably right, Mom."

Little Sally, who wore a little green sundress that Lucas thought was particularly cute, pulled on Fanny's sleeve. "Fanny, I need to go to the bathroom."

"The right door on the right," Lucas said, pointing down the hall.

"You chew your toenails," she sneered.

"I am trying to quit," he replied.

"What's your point, Dear?" Fanny asked Sally.

"He's a slob, Fanny. I'm not going into his no-doubt disgusting bathroom."

"Now, that's no way to talk about the man, Sally," Fanny chided.

"That's all right, Mom." He turned to Sally. "You can use the one outside, Sally."

"But I didn't see any outhouse when we came here."

"I don't have an outhouse."

"Oh." She paused. "Okay."

Lucas winced when he watched her get up and leave. "Ouch," he said.

Fanny chuckled. "That's all right, son. Sally is just worried about germs. She doesn't use bathrooms of people who she thinks has dirty habits, such as toenail chewing in your case." Lucas blushed.

"But going outdoors is fine?"

"Oh she's used to using the great outdoors for a toilet on her farm in Kansas."

"Ah."

A knock came from the front door. Lucas stood up. "Hopefully it's Wanda and Timmy and Juandissimo with Cosmo and Maria."

Fanny smiled encouragingly. "It's them. I can feel it."

"I'm sure you're right, Mom," he smiled back.

He went to the door and opened it. He wasn't quite expecting to Wanda and her new friends so soon without Cosmo and Maria. Or the gryphon mother and her cubs. "So what happened, Wanda?"

Wanda sighed. "First me and Wanda got our own body back," she started. "And we have a problem."

OOO-

Wanda wished that she had fairy godparents of her own. Then she could wish her and Cosmo their way out of their present, but not pleasant, accommodations. But she had learned one thing in her constant confinement. Asking 'how are we getting out of this one?' wasn't going to get them anywhere.

So she had sat down in a corner and, completely ignoring Cosmo's antics, began to study the cell that they were in. The bars looked to be made from durasteel, completely unbreakable, and were made from fine-grained granite, which would probably take them a thousand years to dig through. While they would live that long, sooner or later, someone would be bound to notice the holes in the wall. Wanda changed her wish. It was now their wands that she wanted back. That way the could wish themselves out.

The clanging of a distant lock froze her heart. He was coming to get someone for interrogation. What was this place and what were all these fairys doing here? Wanda was too afraid to ask. She might get an answer.

The march upon the concrete floor came closer and closer. Wanda trembled with fear. "Please it be someone else. Please it be someone else," she repeated softly again and again. She knew was being a bit selfish, but she knew that if He took her away, her magic would be token away and she would never see Timmy again. And Cosmo would be… Brrr, she didn't want to think about that.

The heavy footsteps stopped right in front of their cell. Hesitantly, Wanda looked up. And beamed a smile. It wasn't Him.

It was Jorgen.

"So are you ready to come out of that body yet, Mrs. Turner?" he bellowed.

Wanda sagged. She hadn't been expecting that at all. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me." He shoved his wand through the bars and into her face. "Don't make me come in there."

"But I'm not Mrs. Turner," Wanda pleaded. "I'm Wanda Starr."

"And I'm the Pope of England," Jorgen replied. He pointed the wand at Wanda again. "Admit that you're a human in fairy guise or I forced to use The Treatment." He sounded only too eager to use the treatment.

Wanda gulped down the lump in her throat. "Is there only one way to prove I am who I say I am?"

"Ooh! Ooh! The Treatment!" Jorgen was jumping up and down like a little schoolgirl.

And Wanda had a really bad feeling about the next few minutes. She shrunk back as a guard, who had appeared out of nowhere, opened the cell door and went in to fetch her.

OOO-

Lucas's cabin was right where Timmy remembered it was. In the middle of a cornfield. In the path that led up to the house stood the girl from The Oracle's waiting room fuming at him.

"What got up her bonnet?" Timmy asked.

"Why don't go ask her, Dear?" Mrs. Turner suggested.

Timmy nodded. "Alright. I think I'll do just that." He went ahead to talk with the girl.

"Hello, my name is Timmy Turner." He held out his hand. "What's yours."

"It's Sally." Now he noticed that was acting a bit antsy. "Do you know I can go pee around here?"

"Pardon?"

"Lucas is a disgusting slob. I'm not using his bathroom."

"Oh-kay."

"Have you seen the inside of Mr. Lucas's bathroom?" Mrs. Turner asked when she had caught up with her son.

"Well, actually," Sally hemmed. "No."

"Then how you do you know that his bathroom is pig-sty?"

"I've seen him chew his own toenails."

Mrs. Turner winced. But she asked in a perfectly calm tone, "So?"

"The point is I'm not exposing my feminine areas to that." She pointed in the general direction of where that bathroom had to lie. In Lucas's house someplace.

Timmy blushed when he heard the phrase "feminine areas." "Do you mind?" It didn't seem to him that anyone had heard him.

"If may I make a humble suggestion, Sally," Juandissimo said. "Why don't you wish for an outhouse?"

Sally slapped her own forehead. "Of course." Then her eyes widened in surprise. "Never mind," she said sheepishly. "It's not a problem anymore."

"I see." Timmy tried his best not to snicker, but it was too funny. He laughed even harder as he watched Sally pull off her panties in a huff, giving him a quick flash of her butt. It had a red splotch on the right cheek.

"You're going to pay for that view, Timmy Turner," Sally said over her shoulder. She stormed off, leaving her cast-off panties behind.

If I'm going to pay for it, I might as keep a souvenir, Timmy thought as he picked up the panties.

OOO-

"Fanny, I wish for a new pair of panties," Sally said suddenly.

Lucas jumped. He hadn't even known she was there. Actually, to be perfectly honest, he had forgotten her. "Did you have trouble finding a spot to do your business," he asked as his mother poofed the underwear into Sally's outstretched hand.

"I meant around my hips," Sally complained.

"You want to wear two pairs of undies," Fanny asked incredulously as she granted the wish.

"Yeah," Sally said accommodatingly. "I'll go with that."

"Wanda's been captured," Wanda said as she came in with Timmy and Juandissimo. "We need a plan to get them out, just like in The Great Escape."

It Lucas a moment to realize the import of what was just said. "You're not Wanda, are you?"