Someone to Love

She's Gone

"I called in sick, I'm not going." Meredith says from under her covers, "Go away." She roles over, her back to her person. Little Amy sits on the bedside table looking at Meredith, probably wondering what's wrong with her.

Christina sighs "Meredith!"

"NO! Now get the hell out of my room!" Meredith pokes her head out from under the covers and glowers at her friend. Christina backs away and out of the room, closing the door behind her.

"Your giving up already!" George yells at Christina. Izzie just stands there, contemplating. "I'm going in there." George goes to grab the door knob but Izzie stops him.

"No George, Christina's right."

"She didn't even say anything!"

"So." Christina puts in, interested to see what Izzie comes up with. Both she and George look to their other friend for an answer.

"Meredith needs to deal with this on her own, give her some space...and time." She pauses looking at the two of them. "Alright?" She says with a warning. Christina just shrugs and walks down the stairs to leave. George sighs but agrees.

While all of this is going on outside her bedroom door, Meredith sits up in bed, staring out the window. Amy sits on her lap looking up at her with her big eyes, and climbs up her arm onto her shoulder.The clock on the bedside table reads 6:15AM. Work starts in fifteen minutes, and Lyra is scheduled to leave an hour after that. Part of Meredith wants to go down there and say her goodbyes; hold that baby in her arms and let her know that she loves her, even though she can't stay with her. The other part of her doesn't want to go at all, that is the part that has taken over. Meredith doesn't do well with theses kinds of emotional occurrences. She refuses to let go, so she's withdrawn within herself.

This kind of thing...well she can't be doing this. Meredith has been that kind of person all her life, it's part of what causes her relationship problems. Derek sees this coming, and has thought of many ways to keep her a little more balanced. He knows that she needs to let go, whether or not she willing to do so.

Half an hour goes by and Meredith hasn't moved from the bed. she's still staring out the window. Amy is trying to get Meredith's attention by purring and touching her face with her paw. Meredith ignores her as a powerful wind blows the trees around outside, and a dark cloud ascends upon Seattle. Soon it will rain, and soon that baby will be out of her life for good, and quite frankly, Meredith will never be the same.Ten more minutes go by. Lyra will be on her way to the orphange in a few minutes. Something inside stirs Meredith from her bed, and she suddenly stands up. She has to see Lyra one last time.

Meredith puts Amy down on the bed and throws on a random shirt and a pair of sweats and runs out the door and outside. The air is cold and there's a light drizzle of rain coming down. She jumps into her car and quickly backs out of the driveway. Ignoring the gut feeling that she isn't going to make it. Meredith hurries to the hospital. Once she gets there, rain now pouring heavily outside, she runs into the hospital and makes her way to the pediatrics wing.

"Meredith!" Someone yells to her has she speeds by them and jumps into a nearby elevator. The long wait up to the nursery feels like forever.

"Dammit." She curses silently to herself.

When she gets up there she wastes no time getting to the nursery. When she gets to that big window she immediately sees Derek sitting in a chair with his head in his hands. And there is no sign of Lyra. Derek suddenly looks up and sees her. In that moment he sees everything. He sees the emotions filling up and runs to her and pulls her to him the second they pour over.

"NO!" Meredith screams and then collapses into his waiting arms in a pit of uncontrollable sobs. Izzie and Alex come running up behind her and stand there. Both of them wishing they could do something to help.

All Derek can do is sit there on the floor with her. whispering in her ear and soothing her with kisses and massaging her back. But Meredith is beyond consoling, it's as if she had a baby, and it died. In a way this is kind of the same thing. Meredith is feeling lost, and like she's lost something very important to her. Like Lyra was the peace that was missing, and now she's gone. She feels like everything she did was for nothing, because Lyra will grow up and never get to meet the women who loved her more then she will ever know.

"She's... gone..." Meredith cries between sobs. Derek doesn't say anything, because there really is nothing he could say that would make this all better.

So I know this is very sad...But I will try to make some happy moments...I Promise.