Lavenderpaw, I'm sorry to hear about the lose of your story. I hope that doesn't happen again.

Bonnie, I am trying to make it easy enough to follow.

Fairly Oddparents copyright Viacom and Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy copyright Douglas Adams (Guess where the reference is!)

Chapter 14: Chinese Water Torture

Written: 5 Mar 2005-7 Mar 2005

Posted: 10 Mar 2005

How does that man keep losing his Pants? Vicky thought as she searched through the bush for her shirt. The last thing she wanted was for Mr. Turner to see her shirtless. It just had been her rotten luck to find her shoes and his pants first before finding her shirt. Being dropped into a river and washed down a waterfall was not an experience she cared to repeat.

But she should probably thank her stars that she had decided to wear a bra that day.

She swore. The shoes and the pants had been washed onto the bushes, but even after searching through the entire stupid bush, she still couldn't find her shirt. Darn it! And it was the seventeenth place she had looked. Could it have… No, it isn't lost forever, she told herself. I'll find it.

She looked down at her jeans when she just now realized that they were soaked through. "I can't go trouncing around the woods in wet jeans." She then announced to the jungle around here, "This is all that stupid twerp Timmy's fault!"

She hesitated before pulling off her jeans. She had run out of clean underwear, so she had to borrow some from her mother. A pair that said I love Elvis. She shivered as she removed the jeans. "I bet that you're enjoying this," she told the animals she was sure was watching her. "Cause it's the last time you'll ever see Vicky P. Spain undress."

With both pairs of pants laid out on the bank to dry, Vicky sat with her knees to her chin and let her shoes dangle by their laces. "Now what?" She looked back upstream to the fall. How was she ever going to get back up that sheer face? She let eyes fall along the tree-lined rim of the hole-in-the-ground she found herself in. There seemed to be no break at all in the wall with which she could climb up. And there was no way she was going into the tiny opening the stream entered.

The warm felt good on her skin.

So there was no hurry.

She made her decision, looked around to make sure was alone, and stripped off her wet underwear to lay out in the sun.

OOO-

Mr. Turner had quite forgotten that he had lost his pants. But he was quite perplexed by Vicky's absence. "Just why has the girl run off to?" he asked the big oak tree he found himself next to.

The oak didn't answer.

"Well, fine," he pouted. "Don't answer. I'll go find Vicky on my own."

He spotted a waterfall about a hundred feet downstream. "Good thing I didn't fall off that. I could have been killed." He looked upstream. The gorge walls were as steep as skyscrapers and shot straight from the river. And crossing the river was out of the question. Not after the experience he just had.

That left the woods between the cliff and the crater. "Hmm, I wonder what's down there?" He shrugged. "No time for now. I have to look for Vicky."

He went into the woods.

OOO-

Lucas heard scratching at his front door. "It seems that more guests have arrived." He started to get up, but Maria waved him back down.

"It's probably the gryphon I befriended in the mountains," she said.

"Befriended?"

Maria blushed. "Actually I put a blade to her throat when she threatened my son and forced to agree not to harm me or any my loved ones. I wonder what she wants." She got up and went to the door.

"I see," Lucas said, even though it was as clear as an obsidian window

"But what are we going to do about Cosmo and Wanda?" Timmy asked from Fanny's lap in an embrace. "An entire night has passed. Someone has to get them out." He caught sight of the fairy's expressions. "Don't they?"

"Of course they do, honey." Fanny hug grew tighter. "We'll get your godparents back. Don't you worry. We just have to find first is all."

"About these godparents," Maria said from the door.

"Never you mind," Lucas said. "Let's just see who's at the door."

"Okay," Maria agreed. "But we are getting back to that." She opened the door. "Yes, Naeemah, what is it?" she asked a bit suspiciously.

Lucas stood up. A gryphon at his door?

"Must you be so suspicious, Mariaturner? A gryphon's word is her bond."

"I'm sorry but I just don't know that many gryphons. And I just realized that I don't know what you had meant by 'loved one.'"

Naeemah shook her head sadly. "Humans are so untrustworthy."

"And gryphons aren't?"

Naeemah chuckled. "Too right. You have my word then. None shall be harmed in this house during my visit."

Maria relaxed. Slightly. "Okay. But what did you want to see us about?"

"I know where your friends are kept," Naeemah said. "Wanda and Cosmo."

Lucas thought he heard Maria gasp. "Come on in." Maria invited Naeemah in without consulting Lucas. "We were just discussing them both."

Naeemah trotted in with couple of smaller gryphons in tow. Presumably Naeemah's children. "Is there something wrong?" Maria asked.

"Why do you ask?"

"Well, you brought your kids with you."

"I bring them where I please," Naeemah half-purred/half-growled.

Mrs. Turner nodded. "Well, alright."

Naeemah and children went to the middle of the room and sat back on their haunches. "This is my son, Fenuku, and my daughter, Ain." They nodded when their names were spoken. They seemed to be identical to Lucas, but at the moment the one on Naeemah's right was Fenuku and the one on her left was Ain.

Lucas noted the hopeful look on Fanny's face. "So where are my sister and her hubsand being kept?"

Naeemah seemed to be frowning. Lucas couldn't exactly tell. "Elga Prison Complex."

OOO-

"Mister, did you know that you aren't wearing any pants?" the young boy said.

"Of course I know that," Mr. Turner replied. "What do I look like? An idiot?" Then, "Ah… don't answer that."

The little kid snickered. "Okay, Mr. Noslacks, would you help me find the way out of this place?"

"Of course, son. If you would help me find my missing son." Mr. Turner kneeled down. "So what are you doing here anyway?"

"I wish I knew."

The poor child, Mr. Turner thought. Doesn't even know how he got here. "I hitchhiked most of the way here. And then I came to an ancient rope bridge. Then I fell into the river." He sighed. "Then Vicky was separated from me."

"V-vicky S-spain?" the boy asked.

"I think that her name," Mr. Turner replied uncertainly.

"Does she baby-sit little kids?"

"Yes, that's the one." Mr. Turner hopped in place excitedly.

"Oh." He turned away. "We don't need to find her." He started to stroll away.

"Hey! You come back here, mister." When the kid didn't return, Mr. Turner turned around and folded his arms over his chest. "Fine. Be that way." He started in the opposite direction.

He hoped that the kid would come to his senses and follow him. But he didn't look back to see if he did.

OOO-

"You know you could show more concern about your missing godchild, Juandissimo," Fanny told him in the guest bedroom as they made preparations to go to the Fairy prison.

"Can't be done, Madam," Juandissimo said passionately. "A real man doesn't show his real feelings."

"But isn't that what you do, Juan?"

"Those are only the shadows of my true feelings."

"Oh, I see," Fanny nodded. "So that's why you couldn't hold onto Wanda."

"She was only taken by that fool Cosmo who would never appreciate her as I have."

"If you're so great, then how come she married him and not you," Fanny accused.

OOO-

Wanda sneezed and for some reason she thought of Japan. She rubbed her nose with the side of her hand. She wished that she wasn't where she was. She was strapped to a chair and forced to listen to Vorgon poetry, the third worst in the galaxy. Her brains felt like they were leaking out through her ears. The thought of someplace that wasn't there gave her momentary pleasure.

Momentary, unfortunately.

"Timmy, where are you?" she asked him.

Suddenly, the vorgen poetry ceased, like it had been severed by an axe. Wanda was thankful for the break, even though it meant another round of questioning by Jorgen von Strangle.

He the massive earplugs. He put his arms behind his back and marched ever so non-chalantly toward Wanda, who, still being strapped to the chair, couldn't move. She could nothing but wait for the inevitable.

He stopped in front of her and stared down on her. "How is it possible that you switched bodies with a fairy? Such things are impossible!"

"How is it that you know about the switch in the first place?"

"Quiet!" Jorgen stuck his massive wand in her face. "I'm the one who's asking the questions here."

Wanda nodded, a bit intimidated. "It seems like it was a wish that Timmy had made."

"What wish?"

"A wish that his parents wouldn't hire Vicky to baby-sit anymore."

"You fool!" Jorgen exclaimed. "That wish only would make you and your husband not hire Vicky anymore. Not swap people's bodies. It must have been something else that caused it."

"Like what?"

"That's what we're here to find out."

"If isn't the wish, then there's no way that I would know."

"We'll just see about that." Jorgen snapped his fingers. Water then started to drip onto Wanda's forehead.

"What good will this do? I can take this all day."

"Eventually you go mad from the dripping on your head and would do anything to make it stop."

Wanda snickered. "We just have to see about that."