I know the last chapter was sad. I can't just go and make it better just like that, it wouldn't be good writing, so you'll have to bare with me, just trust me okay?

Someone to Love

One step at a time

Meredith Grey: Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop.

Lyra is out there somewhere. Somewhere Meredith hopes that that beautiful strawberry blonde baby girl, is getting the love she deserves, even if Meredith herself is not the one giving it to her. It so two months after Lyra's departure from Meredith's life. It took Meredith a whole month, and then some to get over it, at least on the outside. She still pines after her every now and then, the longing to be a mother has gotten stronger now in her absence, sometimes unbearable.

Amy, who is getting bigger seems to dull the ache, but only just a little. That fluffy little thing seems to be very in tune to Meredith's inner turmoil. Every time it seems that Meredith is drifting off and out of reality, Amy will rub her body along Meredith's face, or legs, whatever is closets, and purr. She'll sometimes sit on the back of the couch or pillow and lightly touch Meredith's face, just to bring her back. Most of the time it works, Meredith will laugh and snuggle the cute little thing, or she'll just get up and walk away from her. In a case like that Amy will follow and mew sadly, which makes Meredith feel bad.

Derek is doing everything he can to occupy Meredith, i guess you can say that picked up where they left off, only as far back as before Addison even showed up, only they know more about each other now. Derek as moved in. he moved in two weeks ago and Meredith, although scared at first, is now okay with it. it's no different then any other time. He's there all the time anyway, only now his stuffs there too. He would love to ask her to marry him, but he knows he needs to take one step at a time. He's happy just getting this far.

"So I was thinking." Meredith walks over to Derek who's standing at the nurses station filling out some kind of papers.

He turns around and gives her that knee melting smile that still gets to her, "Yes?" he raises an eyebrow.

"I was thinking you could come to lunch with me? and then maybe happen to be in the same on-call room as me say around...4ish?" She says all this with that cute smile of hers and her eyebrows slightly raised for dramatic affect.

He looks as if he's pondering real hard about it for a moment. "Hmm?" He gives her another smile and she hits him on the arm. "Your on."

"See you in an hour." She says kissing him. He gathers up his things and walks away from her.

Meredith stands at the nurses station for a couple of minutes. She leans with her back against the counter and smiles softly to herself. This time around, although rocky at the start as usual, has gone so well. She believes this time it will work. He's it for her. He's the man she wants to spend the rest of her life with, have children with, grow old with, all that stuff.

"I'm glad he picked you." Meredith turns around, a questioning look on her face. She sees Rose standing there a chart in her hand. "I mean...it's not that I'm not upset about it...it's just...your meant for him..." She goes silent, and gets this look on her face like she wished she hadn't said anything, like she felt stupid.

Meredith doesn't say anything. Just smiles.

"Dr. Grey?" Saved by an intern. Meredith turns around to see a couple of her interns looking at her.

"Yes?" She asks them all.

"Umm..."

"Are you telling me you have nothing to do?" Meredith sighs and picks up a few charts from a pile she's been caring around. "Alright." She hands a couple charts out, assigns one of them to the pit and the others to the clinic.

Once they leave her pager goes off. It's a 911 on one of her patients. Code Blue. She starts at a run towards her patients room. Of course it's two floors up so she takes the nearest elevator. This Patient, Mr. Cole, has been coding all day. When she finally gets there, it's to late.

"Call it." She says to the nearest intern.

"Time of death." The intern looks at her watch in despair. "13:35." Meredith sighs and takes Mr. Cole's chart and heads back to the nurses station to fill it out and a bunch of others before lunch.

GA

It's 4ish and Meredith lies in an empty on-call room waiting for Derek. It's always sad to loose a patient, especially when you've tried so hard to keep them alive, almost makes you feel like a failure. But Meredith knows that she had done everything she could. It was a huge reality check for her when she had to go tell Mr. Cole's wife and son that he had died. His Son was only twelve years old. And of course he tried to be a big boy for his mother, and tried not to shed a tear. He just sat with his mother as she cried into his chest.

The door opens and Meredith looks up from her spot on the bottom bunk. Derek stands there at the door, shuts it, and locks it. "How are you?" He asks, walking over and kissing her deeply before sitting down beside her.

"Mr. Cole died..." she says.

"I'm sorry Mere."

Meredith sighs. "I had to be the one to tell his wife and twelve year old son." Derek puts an arm around her shoulders.

"I'm sorry." He says again.

Meredith's face goes very serious and she looks right at him. "Don't die okay?"

"Okay." He says leaning in to kiss her. He snakes his hand through her hair and can feel her soft hands on his face as they deepen the kiss.

GA

It's later that night and the "Family" has finished eating dinner together and are now off doing there own thing. Izzie's on call and Alex went to Joes, and George must be hanging with his new intern friends. Meredith and Derek sit quietly on the couch, Amy sprawled across both their laps. The TV isn't even on. the two of them are just relaxing together, eyes closed, not really sleeping, just relaxing. Derek has his arms around Meredith, bother her hands in his. He caresses the tops of her hands with his thumb. with her eyes closed Meredith smiles to herself, her head resting on his chest. She suddenly sits up and turns towards him, a grin playing on her lips.

"What?" He asks, kissing her softly.

"Nothing." She replies kissing him back and then kissing his neck and face a few times. Derek just chuckles. she does this sometimes, Just cause "hey...Derek...?" She says between kisses.

"Hmm?" He asks looking down at her.

"I want to Marry you."

What ever happened to one step at a time?

A little happier huh?? It just came to me at the last minute as I wrote it. Please review :)