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Chapter 14.

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Declan's POV.

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With nothing better to do but wait it out until the gas cleared outside, five agents, two doctors, and three nurses began to look for ways to entertain themselves in the abandoned hospital chamber. Luther sat down on the floor and began to write a note to his family, Bobbie began to jot down a final will (ever the optimist, she was), and Martin requested a cigarette.

"I thought you quit months ago," Bobbie asked him curiously. He promptly shook his head no.

"I've been craving one like mad ever since," Martin replied, his British accent dripping with Cockney as usual. "I didn't mean to quit, you know. Was just always so busy on jobs and such, never really had a moment to spare like this."

At this, Bobbie chuckled and went back to her last testament. Luther pulled one from a pack of Camels in his coat and lit it for Charles and Charles just greedily smoked the hell out of it for all it was worth.

I watched all this from the archway between the lobby and the hospital chambers, being discontent with staying in that ghastly hospital bed, even if it did mean I got alone time with Zhen. It wasn't worth it anyway, since she certainly had made it clear about what our relationship should strictly be limited to… and also the fact that she slept almost all the time. The gas had gotten her worse than it had me, which I felt a large quantity of guilt for. She had been waiting on me to get out safely and in return she got the worst dose of us all. I could only hope this sickness would pass.

I leaned my shoulder against the doorframe, trying to sort through my feelings of confusion. She was giving me mixed signals, for certain. One minute, she's draining the blood out of her own veins just so I can live, she's leaning for my mouth, she's risking her very life for me again… and then the next, she's telling me it was all only for the job, she's pulling away from me with that cold, harsh glare on her already sharp features and she's swearing she'll never love me like that.

And then she gazes over at me in that way. That way that makes my internal organs do all kinds of wild gymnastic feats. That way that assures to me that her heart is screaming one thing, her brain rationally pleading another.

I knew my love had to be pure, since she didn't make me think animalistic dirty thoughts the way other girls usually did (I am a man, after all), but my fantasies of Zhen were surprisingly simple. When I looked at her, I itched only to stroke her flawless porcelain cheek with my knuckles, to bury my face in her silky brown hair to breathe in the surely intoxicating scent of her shampoo, and to touch her flower petal lips with the ends of my fingers.

And, of course, kiss those very lips until the day I died.

A girl that did that much to me was surely worth taking the time to consider carefully.

But, ah, yes, there was the nagging issue that was the occupation I had worked so hard for. I was good at it—well, save for the minor slips like back in Paris with Lucas…

Even if I chose Zhen over the job, would she be able to do the same? And what if we broke up; though now it seemed highly unlikely from my end, I still couldn't bear the thought of dealing with another bitter ex if it ever did happen. Her and Roberta might start a Declan-haters club or something.

I sighed. There was no getting around it. I had to get over it. Maybe when Brassel got back I would ask to get reassigned. Severing all contact would definitely help, I supposed. With any luck, I would never have to look into those lovely Asian eyes again. The more I thought about it, the more it seemed like the best choice.

So it was decided. I would stop this stupid coworker crush and continue to be married only to my job once more.

After a while of hanging out in the lobby gathering my thoughts, I figured I'd do my hourly check on Zhen. I assured myself it was perfectly harmless, healthy concern for a fellow teammate…

Yeah, I didn't believe that lie either.

But I couldn't exactly dissolve all my feelings for her at once, could I? Though, the thought was of small comfort. So with a grin on the edges of my mouth and that familiar excitement creeping back into my chest in anticipation of seeing her face, I padded down the hall to our hospital room without anyone noticing I had left.

I peered in the doorway to find that she was still sleeping. She looked so peaceful in her sleep, though I knew if the situation called for it she could be deadly. It was one of those wonderful quirks of a female agent that added to their flair. It was why if they went out for drinks they would be the first to be flirted with every time. It was as if guys could smell that extra vigorousness to them a mile away. Not to mention that eighty percent of all the female field agents were good-looking.

Just watching her chest rise and fall in her rhythmic breathing made my throat tighten and my heart thump against my ribcage. It seemed the more I knew of how much I couldn't have her, the more I craved her like air. I was perfectly contented enough just to stare at her until otherwise diverted.

It was obvious after a moment that she was dreaming. She was twitching in her sleep and muttering something I couldn't make out. I stepped closer to hear her better.

"Mmphget," she breathed.

Still, I went closer.

"Doennan," she mumbled on.

I knelt down to her level and came so close our noses almost touched. I could hear her quite clearly now.

"Don't," she said a little clearer. Her voice was strained, like she was choking on tears.

"Declan…"

I smiled broadly when I heard my name clear as a bell escape her lips. She was dreaming about me. The smile dissipated when I realized she was dreaming something that was disturbing her.

"Zhen," I whispered to her, trying to give her mercy and wake her up from whatever nightmare had come upon her. "Zhen, open your eyes."

Immediately her eyes flew open wide, though the rest of her now laid perfectly still. She seemed surprised and slightly confused at the fact that I was so close to her face.

"What'd I do?" I asked her.

"Huh?" she spat out, probably still trying to gain back all of her consciousness.

"Ya said my name while ye were sleepin'. Ya sounded upset—what'd I do?"

She sat up in bed and put her palm on her temple, her eyes lost in thought. Then she looked at me as if I was a stranger.

"You were--" her voice faded lamely as she spoke, as if she was embarrassed at her confessions. "Never-mind."

I could tell she was trying hard to make her eyes look elsewhere.

"Hey," I said, tilting my head to catch her line of sight. "It's alright. It's probably a side effect of the gas. You have to let all of it clear yer system."

I got up, feeling the intense desire to serve her. I stood up and got serious.

"I'm goin' t' get you food. Ya haven't eaten since yesterday. Ya think ye can handle somethin' solid?"

"Declan." I froze once again at the sound of my name. "I need you to sit down."

I obeyed like a dog, and immediately my butt met the edge of her bed.

"We need to talk…"

My throat tightened even more.

"About…" she sounded as if she was forcing the words out. "You know…"

"--I've been doin' a bit of thinkin', Zhen," I interrupted, pushing aside whatever mental block was inhibiting my cool. "It was a really stupid thing t' do. As soon as Brassel gets back, I'm gonna have him reassign me."

"What?" she spat out in surprise. "But--"

I stared straight ahead, not wanting to look at her and suddenly crumble and decide to change my mind. I waited patiently for her to find the words to reply. She seemed surprised, which in turn, surprised me as well. Didn't she figure that I would come to this?

"'Not now, not ever'… Right?" I said coldly.

I knew that now I was just being cruel, getting revenge with the very words she had told me that day she had rejected me. Remorse immediately followed.

"Declan," her voice was low and cracking, letting me know for certain what I just said had hurt her bad, but when I looked her in the eyes she seemed almost surprised at me, like my words had given her a sort of revelation.

"I really got you deep, didn't I?" she said, the shock on her face matching her tone of voice. I looked anywhere but at her.

"That's not really relevant anymore, is it?" My heart felt like it had turned to stone, speaking to her so callously.

"Zhen?" another voice said from the doorway. We both looked to Roberta, who was standing rather impatiently waiting for Zhen to answer her. Zhen took a moment or two to finally get around to it.

"Yes?" her voice suddenly natural and strong.

"Doctor Slauss wants to check on you real quick. Said to come in the lobby."

"Oh," Zhen said, throwing her legs over the side of the bed and getting up. "Sure."

She rushed past Roberta like she was relieved at escaping a tense conversation, or maybe wanting to return to it as fast as she could manage.

When she was gone, Roberta still remained, gazing at me in the doorway. Her very presence annoyed me. The wonderful feelings in me caused by Zhen's company were replaced only with disdain.

"What?" I asked her harshly.

"Did I interrupt a tender moment?" she taunted cynically. "Pardon me if I don't feel sorry."

"You never did," I snapped right back. Why did she insist on visiting with me? It wasn't like we had much to say to each other.

"There was a time, you know," she said calmly, strolling over to me with an intense swagger. It was then I began to grow nervous. "When you were very attracted to me."

"I tend t' repress that memory," I said, taking a small step away from her advancing stride.

"There was a time when you couldn't get enough of me… especially at night…"

I began to feel a nauseating sensation in my throat and stomach at the very flashes of memory.

"It wasn't so outlawed then since we were only trainees," she went on. "But this 'you and Zhen' thing has to end."

"Not that it's any of yer business, but it's already over," I assured her.

As footsteps came down the hallway that most assuredly belonged to Zhen, Roberta's green eyes glared daggers at me.

"Believe me, Declan: I'll let you know when it's over."

It was a confusing vow, one that disconcerted me a little, since Roberta wasn't known to break her promises and one could only guess what she was planning in that twisted head of hers. Roberta grinned that evil, conniving little smile she couldn't help but do… I took another step away from her, fearing what she was planning…

Suddenly she launched herself on me, her mouth falling on mine, much to my complete surprise. It was horrid, though her lips were as soft as I remembered them, they were a bitter taste I had vowed never to taste again. I groaned through the few moments of connection with utter disgust. As soon as my composure was regained, I shoved her far from me, wiping her sickening saliva off my face.

It was then I spotted Zhen, standing in the doorway, looking back and forth from the two of us with anger flaming in her eyes. I watched as her face slowly returned to its cold, emotionless form that she forever bore much to my heart's expense. Once again, there was that look that killed me inside to see.

"It's just like my dream…" Zhen breathed.

I strived for something to say, anything… anything that would remedy the situation at hand, though I knew nothing would. I watched as Zhen covered her watery eyes and walked back the way she had come in with wide, distressed steps.

My chest caved in and my throat clenched shut, knowing quite well what misfortune had just befallen me. Anger filled the hole now suddenly in my heart-- anger directed toward one person.

"You…!" I hissed at Roberta, though it hardly made me feel any better. "You…!"

But there was no word that could describe that woman of scorn.

"Now," she growled wickedly in my ear so that only I could hear. "It's over."

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Ah, a cliffhanger. I seem fond of those. Sorry about the long wait. I wanted to wait until the movie came out on video before I posted a new chapter. Now updates shall be weekly. Please review.
Signed,
--RedRogue