"It is wonderful to see you all. Come now friends." Tyldus spread his arms wide. Ephiny gave her father in law a warrior's handshake and followed him in to the village. Tyldus twisted his body so he could see Xena. "I am sorry that Gabrielle is unwell, nothing serious I take it?"
Xena smiled, "An infection. Nothing to worry about."
"Still it's wonderful to have so many visiting. And Hercules, Iolaus and Joxer are back too. I think tomorrow we can have a party to rival the amazons." Tyldus smiled.
"I can't wait," said Epinon, "and we brought wine." She winked at Xena.
Xena led Argo into the stable and was removing her saddle when Hercules came striding in. He enveloped her in a bear hug. "Great to see you," the demi god, enthused. "I heard that Gabrielle was unwell. Everything alright?"
Xena smiled, Hercules mood was infectious. "She sends her love." She put Argo's saddle down, and started to brush her. "There is something, but I need to wait for Iolaus and Joxer. How's Iolaus been?"
"Good. The trip to Hippocrates did him good. He's stronger. Soon he can come with me again." The demi god stopped his brushing of the mare and looked wistful for a moment. "It's not the same by yourself."
"That's why I'm not travelling. I couldn't bear to do it without her."
"But doesn't stop you from missing it though," said Hercules knowingly. Xena nodded. "It is ok to miss something despite being happy." He looked down. "I love being out on the open road. I know now that I will never settle down again. We tried, but it's not for me any more. Gods, I did miss Iolaus, though."
"That's what Gabrielle said. Take your own advice big man. Don't feel guilty about doing something you love. Iolaus would hate that," said Xena.
"Come on let's catch up with the others."
Xena finished hugging Joxer and sat down at a table in his hut. She looked around noting all the bottles and jars full of medicine. The place was untidy, which certainly didn't surprise Xena after sharing camps with him on and off for two years or so.
"A drink must get you all a drink," muttered Joxer and went about finding some mugs. After finding four he looked inside them, gave a grimace and grabbing a cloth started to wipe the insides of them. As he was busying himself with that Iolaus came limping in. Xena noted that he walked without a crutch which surprised her-she felt sure his injury would ensure its use for his entire life. However the limp was very pronounced and she knew from Hercules they had quiet day fishing, but Iolaus looked fatigued.
Xena jumped up and gave Iolaus a warm hug. He limped to the chair beside Hercules and lowered himself gingerly on to it.
"How are you doing?" asked Xena as she too sat down. Joxer brought over the mugs and turned to find a bottle of something. Xena picked up one of the mugs and as she looked into it made a face and started to wipe it with a blank piece of parchment on the table.
"Better than when you saw me last," said the blonde man. "No crutch! Hippocrates worked miracles."
For a moment Xena's mind flashed to Lao Ma and what she did for her. There would be no phenomenal recovery for Iolaus.
"You've been travelling," she said as she picked up another still dirty mug and started to clean that. Iolaus and Hercules exchanged a glance.
"I'd like to do more," started Iolaus.
"You will, there's no rush." Said Hercules hurriedly.
"Stop treating me like an invalid. I rode to Athens," retorted Iolaus angrily.
"Enjoy the wine!" Joxer slammed the bottle on the table. Iolaus and Hercules looked away from each other. Xena poured the wine into the four slightly less dirty mugs and passed them around.
"Cheers!" she said.
The three men grunted and half heartedly raised their mugs before taking large sips.
Joxer put his mug down and stared at Xena.
"Now what about Gabby?" The other two men also put their mugs on the table and looked at Xena.
There was silence as Xena considered what to say.
"You two are alright aren't you? Things got better hadn't they?" Iolaus leaned forward.
Xena nodded dumbly. They had heard of their difficulties but had no idea that a major cause of it was Gabrielle's pregnancy.
There was no other way to approach it. She looked them all in the eye in turn. "Gabrielle's pregnant," she said neutrally.
There was silence. More than that, a deafening silence. Xena couldn't hear any breathing; it was like for a moment the whole world was still. When the silence extended, she wished that Joxer had reacted in his customary way by fainting or by joking about becoming an uncle, anything to break the building tension.
It was Hercules who spoke first. He swallowed and said, "How-how is she?"
"Weary. It taken a lot out of her," said Xena.
"No." Hercules shook his head. "How is she? How is she coping with it?"
Xena looked down as she thought about the terrible weeks that Gabrielle had known the truth. How close she was to taking her own life. How terrified she was that Xena would leave her. How concerned she was the baby would be evil like Hope. That Xena, and especially Gabrielle, would struggle to love it. Once Xena had given reassurance and plenty of reassurance at that, Gabrielle had relaxed and become more optimistic about the baby. Not enthusiastic as such, but at ease about its arrival. She looked up.
"She's coming to terms with it. It was such a shock."
"What about you?" said Joxer quietly? "It must be hard with Solon and all?"
Xena felt the usual pang of sorrow at the mention of her son. "I'm coming to terms with it too. I'm here for the long haul. We're going to raise him or her together."
She saw that Hercules and Joxer had lost their worried countenances. Iolaus sat staring, mouth ajar not saying a word.
"I suppose I should say, congratulations," said Hercules.
"Does that mean I'm going to be an uncle?" said Joxer. His head drooped and he fell forwards off his chair.
"Could have done that a few minutes ago," muttered Xena under her breath. She looked at Iolaus who was still sitting frozen. "Iolaus?"
He turned to look at her. "I have to go," he whispered and hurried out of the hut.
Hercules shared a worried glance with Xena. "I'll just-"he pointed to the door and got up from his chair, as Joxer started to come round.
"So you'll be delivering the baby?" said Xena and grinned evilly as Joxer's head hit the ground again. "Maybe not!"
Hercules didn't have to go far to find Iolaus. He was sitting outside Joxer's hut.
"What happened to you?" asked Hercules.
Iolaus looked at Hercules and he saw that the blonde's eyes were red rimmed.
"Iolaus. Talk to me."
"It's my fault. Gabrielle, Lindos. It's because of me. I could kid myself that she's over it, but now-"he put his head in his hands.
"Iolaus you're not making any sense. It wasn't your fault. You could do nothing to stop him." Hercules squatted down next to his partner and put his hand on his shoulder.
Iolaus shook it off. "Every time she'll look at the child she'll remember. And it's because of me."
"You're still not making sense Iolaus. What happened?"
There was silence, so Hercules tried again. "It was not your fault. Gabrielle will tell you the same. A baby, Iolaus. We can be an important part of its life. Be fathers again." Hercules could not hide his sadness at the last sentence.
Iolaus looked up and patted his friend's shoulder. "It must be hard for you big man. But you're right. Gabrielle can tell me." He jumped up, wincing slightly as pain shot through his leg. "I'll talk to her." He started to stride off to his hut.
"What?" Hercules walked alongside him.
Iolaus stopped suddenly. "I need to talk to Gabrielle."
"Now?" asked Hercules, incredulously. "You can't?"
"Why, because I can't ride to the amazons? Because I'm a cripple?"
"Iolaus, I'm just worried about you," Hercules hurried after his friend as he had resumed walking.
"I know, and I'm grateful, but I need to do this. I have to speak to Gabby. I need to know."
Hercules looked at the determined set of his friend's jaw. Iolaus was determined, stubborn even. His mind was made up. He shut his eyes. "You go and pack, I'll saddle up a horse."
Iolaus turned to him and clasped his hand. Hercules pulled him into a hug. "Be quick. I'll miss you."
"I will," the small man was now beaming.
"And if you manage it ok, we'll head out. There are still plenty of damsels yet to be saved by us."
Iolaus laughed. "When I manage it, you're on."
Xena peered into the gloominess. She couldn't even describe it as pre-dawn light. It was still dark, the only light coming from the torches lit so the sentries around the village could see. She was restless and knew that it wasn't just the two worries that had emerged tonight causing her to be so wakeful.
She sat down fingering her chakram. Hercules had returned and between them he and Joxer had asked her all about Gabrielle's pregnancy. How was she? Where was the baby to be born? Had they chosen names? What had the grandparents thought- Cyrene assuming to be the paternal grandmother? Hercules had asked whether the baby was kicking and she could see him drift off into his own memories of fatherhood, cruelly cut short thanks to a vengeful Hera.
It was not so much the questions that caused Xena her unease, but the fact she had not thought about the answers at all. Other than the previous day she had not mentioned about what would happen when the baby was born. She hadn't felt the baby kick or indeed know if the baby was kicking. Her thoughts were dominated by the fact that Gabrielle was pregnant and had been recently injured, therefore more vulnerable and needed to be protected more than ever. She had not considered that in four months time their lives would be inextricably changed.
They seldom spoke about the baby; Xena knew Gabrielle was fearful of raising the subject and upsetting her. She threw her chakram down into the dirt with some force. Being affected by the challis and the consequences had thrown up more barriers. Xena knew that Ephiny had discussed aspects of motherhood with Gabrielle, that other young or expecting mothers within the village sought her out with more frequency. Xena had pretended not to notice and never asked about these meetings.
With clarity she understood why Gabrielle had considered taking her own life. She was afraid of rejection from Xena, and it was Xena's impassioned pleas that had prevented it. And yet Xena had rejected her by ignoring the issue, and that would stop.
Immediately.
She picked up her chakram and walked around the village square. She had racked her memories since Hercules had told her of Iolaus' deep distress of her news. She couldn't think of anything that would make him act so passionately. She would talk to Epinon when the weapons master woke. Perhaps she had different recollections.
Even with those two concerns momentarily solved she knew she would not be able to sleep. She missed Gabrielle too much. Curling up with her, holding her tight she couldn't settle without the bard in her arms. She looked in the direction of the Amazon village and hoped that Gabrielle was sleeping. The darkness was weakening; natural light was beginning to emerge.
She heard a sound and saw Epinon emerge from her hut rubbing her eyes and trying to orientate herself. The weapons master spotted Xena and strode to her.
"Couldn't sleep either?" Xena nodded. "I just miss her." Epinon spoke with a sense of reverence.
There was a pause and then the Amazon asked, "What's on your mind, Xena?"
Xena smiled at her and thought for a moment. She then launched into how Iolaus took the news of Gabrielle's pregnancy.
"Can you remember anything, anything at all Pony?"
Epinon looked at Xena with a look of anguish. They were times that they would both, as well as the other three amazons who had drunk from the challis, like to forget. She closed her eyes and thought. But she came up with a blank and shook her head.
"I only hope Gabrielle could reassure him," said Xena worriedly.
"He'll be fine. What are you dong today?" Epinon yawned.
"I thought I'd go fishing and maybe do some drilling. After I watch you take the young centaurs through their paces." Xena smiled at Epinon's obvious discomfort.