Here's Chapter 27!

Fairly Oddparents copyright Viacom

Chapter 27: A Little Diner in the Middle of Nowhere

Written: 5 Nov 2005-18 Nov 2005

Posted: 18 Nov 2005

There was something familiar about that name, Mountains of Madness, but A.J. couldn't recall what it was. Whatever it was, the name still left him uneasy. It brought to mind the kind of place you would want to avoid. At all costs.

But it was also increasingly clear that avoidance was simply not an option. "How do I ever get myself into these things?" he groaned.

"You followed Sally, dear." Momma Cosma watched the darkened heavens. "That's how got into this."

"Oh. Of course." Not that he believed her. "But just what are you watching out for anyway?"

"You'll see." Her smile was quite thin indeed.

"And you supposed to see anything anyway? It's getting quite dark."

"Fairy eyes are much better than human eyes."

"Ah."

Momma Cosma brought her pair of binoculars up. "Ah. Here she comes now."

"She?"

"Yes. She." She raised a strange spear with a star at the end into the air.

-OOO-

Vicky cursed her luck. How was supposed to find that twerp when she couldn't see anything on the ground due to the blasting night that had made its unwanted entrance. Why did every bad thing always have to happen to her? Was a boon once and awhile so much to ask for? She was becoming more and more convinced that there was a conspiracy led by that twerp to make her life a miserable heck-hole.

Oh, was he ever got it, Vicky thought with relishly. All that pented-up rage had to be released somehow, and placing it on that twerp looked to be the perfect way to do that.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a green blast that missed her left ear by scant inches. "What the heck was that?" She prayed that the next blast wouldn't hit her.

It didn't.

It hit the magic carpet.

The carpet started spiraling down, taking Vicky with it. "I wish that I never left school that day."

Just as she thought would happen, nothing happened.

-OOO-

"Was that really necessary." A.J. stared Momma Cosma start in the eye. "The rider of that carpet could have been hurt."

"Oh, I would thought you would want this particular rider to get hurt." Her eyes remained unblunk.

The carpet and its rider thumped into the ground about a dozen yards behind her in a heap. A minute later, a figure began to emerge from the crumpled carpet. A.J. gulped. It was Vicky who had been the rider of that magic carpet. Momma Cosma had been right. He was interested in seeing this particular rider hurt. But how was she planning to use this carpet? It was only big enough to carry Sally and himself and one more. That was it. He knew because… Duh! It was the magic carpet that he and Sally had ridden into this strange place on. He should have known that it was Vicky riding it.

"Are we supposed to bring her too?" he groaned.

"Of course, dear. Who does Timmy fear more than Icky Vicky?"

"You fairies know about human things."

"Of course. Doesn't everyone?"

"Hey!" Vicky was fully standing now. "What's going on here?"

Momma Cosma answered matronly. "We're here to help you find Timmy Turner."

"Oh."

-OOO-

Timmy brought the burger to his mouth for another bite. It was, despite the lack of condiments, or possibly because of it, the best tasting burger he ever had. "I wonder how they do this," he mused, still chewing that bite.

"Timmy, you really talk with your mouth full," Mrs. Turner admonished.

Timmy swallowed. "Sorry, mom."

"That's better."

The Oracle had gone to "powder her nose." But Timmy was quite aware what went on in the restroom. Why did adults talk like that around him? He sighed.

And took another bite.

"So you look my cooking?" a familiar voice asked.

Timmy looked up. "Fanny! Where were you guys?" Actually he felt a little guilty. He had forgotten all about her. And Lucas. Now how did that happen? They had been right there. Hadn't they?

"Getting the pack mules ready. Lucas is with them now."

"But just where are we going?"

Fanny sat beside him. "We'll tell you later. But for now, finish your dinner." Which, beside the burger, included French fries and a pickle. Timmy ate the last bite of the pickle before working on his burger again. The remaining fries would have to wait.

The Oracle returned and sat beside Mr. Turner. "So, Fanny, any word on your godkid yet?"

Fanny shook her head sadly. "No, not yet. But I'm sure that her and her little friends by shortly, so we have to hurry."

"Hurry?" Timmy talked with food in his mouth again. "What's up with the hurry? Don't you want to be with Sally?"

"Yes. But there's something with her we don't to catch up with us."

"Who's that?"

"Momma Cosma."

He nodded. The trailside diner that they had stopped by at the base of the foothills wouldn't be the place to be caught when Cosmo's mother came by. It wasn't the easiest place in the world to get out of. The dirt road that led up to the parking lot of The Happy Hiker was only wide enough for one car to drive down it. Although, as Timmy could see from the window, the parking lot was decent-sized and paved with concrete.

Lucas appeared. "Time to move it. You-know-who is arriving."

Mrs. Turner raised her hand. "Check please."

-OOO-

It seemed awfully convenient that there were night-vision goggles for all them. How had Momma Cosma know that Vicky was coming along? And more importantly, why did she let him? The more A.J. got to observe her, the more he realized he didn't know about fairies, if in fact that what Momma Cosma was.

"What are you looking at, twerpette?" Vicky said suddenly.

"I didn't know you could see through clothes."

"So?"

"You do realize that you're not wearing a bra?"

"Just shut up and look at the ground."

The missing undergarment was one reason that A.J. wasn't looking at the evil babysitter. He also well aware that he couldn't hide the pure hate he had for Vicky from his expression from her. He had decided that it would be best for all concerned not to stare at her.

"We're here," Momma Cosma announced. "The Happy Hiker. The last stop for busy travelers before they reach the Mountains of Madness."

"What are these Mountains of Madness?" Mrs. Turner asked.

Momma Cosma shrugged. "Just mountains, I guess."

She was lying. That shrug had been artificial and forced. A.J. finally had her number. This was a woman who shouldn't be trusted.