Fairly Oddparents copyright Viacom
Chapter 30: Howard Phillips
Written: 20 Feb 2006-28 Feb 2006
Posted: 28 Feb 2006
Johnny sat near the cave's mouth, watching the eagle soar overhead. It appeared to be looking for something, and, more importantly, knew what that was. Johnny wished he knew what he was looking for. Why did the animals all the luck, and he none?
It just wasn't fair!
"Johnny," he heard a voice behind him, "I suggest that you get into the cave. Who knows whose eyes may be watching."
Johnny looked back. "What are you talking about, Juandissimo?"
"The Mountains of Madness aren't an uninhabited wasteland."
"And they are?"
"An inhabited wasteland. A very inhabited wasteland."
"Oh." Johnny was quiet for a moment. "Then what are doing here?"
"This is because my Wanda is in danger."
Johnny nodded. "Just what danger is she facing?"
"Her mother-in-law."
Johnny took one last view of the valley before returning back into the cave. "What can Momma Cosma do to Wanda?" he asked his godparent as they walked up the cave.
"She's the fairy with the most power now." Juandissimo brought his hand to his forehead. "When she wants something done, it gets done.
"And she isn't too fond of Wanda, either."
Johnny shivered. "What can do we?"
"Plenty. There is a man who can help us. That is why come into these accursed mountains."
Johnny lowered his voice. "Who?"
"Howard Phillips."
-OOO-
"Are we there yet?"
Momma Cosma had never heard that particular question before. She also got the feeling that Mr. Turner had heard it a few times in his life. "No, Mr. Turner.
"We are not there yet."
"But we marching for hours," he complained. "When you said that we would be marching at dawn, I had thought we would be starting then. Not when you said it."
"Quit your complaining. Do you want your wife and son back, or not?"
Mr. Turner hesitated.
"Well?"
"Yes, yes. I want my son back."
"And not your wife, Mr. Turner?"
"Of course her too."
Momma Cosma wasn't so sure about that but didn't press. He seemed a bit distracted about something. She huffed, but the man did in some way remind her of her own son.
"Can we at least take a fifteen minute break at least?"
"No."
-OOO-
Timmy wished that Vicky would stop staring at him like that. It was really starting to creep him out. Vicky looked like she was just waiting for a reason to rip his throat out. His mother did nothing to stop her. She was apparently too busy talking with The Oracle and the fairies.
"Are you sure that this is where he lives?"
"Quite certain," The Oracle replied. "I am The Oracle after all. I suggest we get some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a long day."
"But you still haven't told me who this Howard Phillips guy is," Vicky pouted.
"He's just a crazy, old hermit who's going to help us," The Oracle patiently explained.
"Is he a murderer?"
"Oh, no. Of course not. Where did you get a silly idea like that?"
"Momma Cosma had said that death was in this mountains."
"Well, I can assure you. That death isn't going to come from Mr. Phillips."
Timmy wasn't reassured at all. The Oracle had just as much admitted there was death in these mountains. He didn't think he would get much sleep that night.
-OOO-
Mr. Turner sighed.
"What is it now?"
"Are you sure that you had nothing to do with my wife's disappearance?"
"Of course not. It was all that Wanda woman's doing."
Mr. Turner lowered his voice. "Do you have any proof? I've been down this path before, and it didn't exactly lead anywhere."
Momma Cosma's cell phone rang. That is, it vibrated. She had set it to vibrate as she didn't want to let Mr. Turner onto her little white secret. Her contacts within the Fairy Squad. It would ruin her reputation if word of it get out.
And only her hatred of Wanda and her love of her son were stronger than her desire to protect her reputation. A reputation that she had worked on for millennia to maintain. She wasn't about to ruin it now.
"I have to answer this. Could I have a moment?"
"Fine. Whatever."
Momma Cosma went a little ways before answering. She wanted privacy for this call. "Yes, what is it?"
"It's the big bird," the voice said, meaning Jorgen Von Strangle. "He's on his way."
The line went dead.
So the muscle-brained idiot was on his way here, huh? She had been expecting that he would. But this was far sooner than her most pessimistic estimations.
They were going to have to move quickly on this. "Butch," she called back, "I'm afraid that you're going to have to pick up the pace up a bit."
-OOO-
Timmy had been right. He couldn't any sleep.
So he lay in his tent, listening for any movement from Vicky's tent. For a while, he heard, accept for the occasional gust of wind, nothing. But finally, he heard rustling from Vicky's direction. He listened more carefully. Someone was emerging from Vicky's tent. There were only two people it could be. And he didn't think that Sally would be the one to get up in the middle of the night and sneak off.
He waited a few minutes for Vicky to pass and he could leave his tent unobserved. He did and immediately began looking for Vicky. After a few minutes of searching, he found her.
She was the ridge on the other side of the valley. Just how long had he been waiting.
He watched her climb up the ridge. "Now what is she up to?" he asked himself. Well, whatever it was, it couldn't be good.
So he made the decision to follow her. It shouldn't be too hard, he saw. The slope didn't look all that steep. He looked back and briefly considered telling Wanda where he was going. But she was asleep and Vicky was already getting away.
Timmy hurried to catch up. Vicky was practically jogging up the hill now, and he didn't want to lose her.
-OOO-
She spotted the small figure on the far slope through her binoculars. And frowned. Was that pathetic man the one there were after? He certainly didn't look like much. She looked toward the woman who was calling herself The Oracle, but Vicky knew that there were no such thing as oracles.
Never mind the fact that fairies seemed to be real. She just wasn't prepared to believe in one impossible thing, just because another one was clearly true.
She spotted a little boy and his fairy godparent approach the hermit. She smiled. "Now it gets interesting."
-OOO-
The old man slowly got himself up. Then he looked at Johnny and Juandissimo. "What do you want?" He spoke in a gravelly voice.
"We have come to beseech your aid." Juandissimo was on one knee. "My Wanda is in terrible danger!"
"Now would I want to help you?"
Juandissimo answered.