Fairly Oddparents copyright Viacom

Chapter 31: Rendezvous in the Wild Lands

Written: 2 Mar 2006-12 Mar 2006

Posted: 12 Mar 2006

Timmy hid behind a rock and watched Vicky watch whatever she was watching. What was she watching? He desperately wanted to know. Especially since she was just laying there staring through her binoculars into the distance, not moving a muscle. It gave him shivers seeing her like that. He had never seen her lay still like that before.

He could tell that she was alive. She was still breathing. But what was so important that it had grabbed her attention so?

Without any warning, she said, "Now it gets interesting." Now it gets interesting? What the heck was that supposed to mean? Now Timmy was dyeing to know what Vicky was watching through binoculars of hers.

Vicky slowly got up and began to walk back down the slope. Timmy tried to keep hidden, but she spotted him. "I thought it was you, twerp, that was following me."

"It's not what you think, Vicky." He started crawling backwards. "Please don't get mad."

"Now, why would I get mad, twerp?" Vicky smiled. It wasn't exactly comforting. "There is a little favor I want you to do for me."

Somehow, Timmy didn't think it was so little. "What do you want?"

"There's a group of people down there." Vicky nodded to the valley beyond. "I want you to go down there to see what they're up to."

"Me? Why can't you go down and find out?"

"Why?" Vicky went up to him. And promptly picked him up by the scuff of his neck. "It's quite simple, twerp. You are." She tossed him to the east, the direction she was spying.

Timmy didn't stop when he landed. Instead, he started rolling and bouncing down the slope. More bouncing than rolling, it seemed to him. He did know, however, that he was getting more bumps and scrapes than he had gotten in his life. He wished the rolling and bouncing would stop, as for some reason, it didn't seem to want to.

But stop it eventually did. Unfortunately the spinning did not. So much so that Timmy lost his direction, so to speak. He also felt a bit nauseous at this point, so naturally he didn't feel much like spying.

"What do we have here?" Hesitantly Timmy looked up. Juandissimo was hovering overhead. He raised his arm in the air. "This could only mean one thing!"

"What's that?" Timmy asked groggily.

"My Wanda is nearby!"

"Of course," Timmy sighed.

Juandissimo grabbed Timmy's collar. "You must lead me to her right away! Who knows what foul deeds her mad mother-in-law has done to her?"

"I can't! Vicky's in the way."

"Who is this Vicky?"

"What is taking you so long, twerp!" a voice boomed from behind Timmy.

"Oh, so I see." Juandissimo considered for a moment. "You have a real problem on your hands. No wonder you have fairy godparents."

"You didn't know?"

"Hey, I don't make it a habit of poking into other people's business."

Mindful of the fact that was exactly what he was doing, Timmy asked, "Just what are you doing here?"

Juandissimo wrapped his arm around Timmy's shoulders. "There is a man here I would like you to meet."

As Juandissimo led Timmy into the valley, the first light from the sun appeared.

-OOO-

Wanda stood of front of the full-length mirror examining her body. She didn't know what everyone was talking about. This most certainly did seem like her body.

But there was something askew…

She sensed something behind her moving into the tent. "I would have thought you would more sense to just look at yourself naked in the mirror in a tent in the middle of nowhere with males who aren't my husband in the vicinity."

Wanda smiled as she turned to look. It was The Oracle. "Don't you ever need to breath?"

The Oracle smiled back. "Of course I do. I just took in a really deep breathe before speaking."

"Ah."

"So why are you standing there in your birthday suit admiring yourself in the mirror?"

"Tell me the truth." Wanda raised an arm in the air. "Is this really not my body?"

"It is," The Oracle said. "But it has been changed. Altered. But perhaps you can do something about it."

"What can I do?"

"There is something in your belly called a fagiggley gland. It allows fairies to change their shape. Go on. Try it out!"

Wanda put her hands to her hips. "Now how am I supposed to do that?"

"Just will it to happen, I suppose. How else do you fairies do these things?"

Wanda stared into the mirror. "I don't remember…"

The Oracle touched Wanda's shoulder. "Just relax, Wanda. I'm sure you'll remember." She paused. "Try imagining yourself being a puppy."

"What good will that do?"

"A great deal, Wanda. I've seen fairies transform themselves at the drop of a pen thousands of times."

Wanda, while not quite believing The Oracle, decided to give it a try. Who knew? The Oracle might actually be right.

But if this wasn't what her body really looked like, what did it look like…?

More rustling with the flap to her tent. "Gosh, Wanda, I didn't know that you like to strut around in the nude."

Without thinking, Wanda waved her wand and a yellow top and black slacks appeared on her. She blunk in surprise. "Did I do that?" She held up the wand in her hand. "And where did this wand come from?"

The Oracle grinned. "I put that in your hand. After all, every fairy has to have her wand. And most certainly did. I knew you would. You're one of the quickest studies in Fairy World."

"You really think so?"

"Only because it's true." She turned to Lucas, who hadn't bothered to turn around when he had seen his sister naked. "Yes, what it is, Lucas?"

"It's Timmy and Vicky. They're missing."

"Hmm… They're kinda early."

Wanda was confused. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"They don't call me The Oracle for nothing, you know." She patted Lucas on the shoulder as she passed. "Come on, let's get the others and see what this is all about."

"Wait a minute! I'm married."

The Oracle smiled as she left the tent.

-OOO-

Timmy sat down with Juandissimo, Johnny, and some crazy-looking old guy in front of a campfire, even though it was very much morning. He was uneasy. The old man looked like he was liable to toss him into orbit. "What's going on?"

The old man answered. "What do you know about the Mountains of Madness?"

"I know that we're in them," Timmy replied helpfully. "And they… seem to be deserted."

"Well you're wrong about that, laddy. These here hills are very much not deserted. There are critters that would very much like to tear you limb from limb.

"And gobble you up."

Timmy swallowed. "Which critters would those be?"

"Lions. And tigers. And bears."

"Oh my."

"I heard there are worse creatures around here," Juandissimo said. "Weird, twisted creatures that a mere gaze would drive a man insane."

Timmy felt his face pale.

"Could be," the hermit said. "Though I never have seen any around."

Timmy sighed in relief.

"But that doesn't mean they aren't here."

"This isn't helping!" Timmy snapped back.

"Now, now, young man. When I was your age, we didn't yell at our elders."

"Say, just what are you doing here anyway?"

"I'm stuck. Fortunately this fairy to help me get out."

"Hey!" Juandissimo raised his wand. "I do have a name. It's Juandissimo Magnifico."

Timmy ignored him. "How can you be trapped in here."

"It turns out that you need to be a magical creature of some kind," the hermit shrugged helplessly. "Go figure, huh? But fortunately those same said creatures can help others out. Very convenient."

Timmy opened his mouth to agree, but something hit the back of his head and everything went black.

He didn't remember anything after that.

-OOO-

Momma Cosma smiled to herself. The Fairy Squad had arrived. There were the best at ferreting out fugitive fairies, so should be no trouble finding that way-ward Maria Turner. Momma Cosma had a feeling that Timmy's mother was going to ruin all her carefully laid plans.

Momma Cosma wasn't prepared to let that happen.

"Is there anything wrong?" Mr. Turner asked.

"No. Not at all."

"Then why are you stewing like that?"

"Just thinking about Wanda again is all."

"Oh, her again. What is it between you two anyway?"

Mama Cosma smiled to herself. "Let's not get into that right now."

-OOO-

Timmy worked up and wondered why had even been out in the first place. He groggily sat up. And looked up. Everyone was sitting around him. Well, everyone except for Vicky, that was. "Err… what's going on?"

His mother helped him stand up. "Are you all right, Timmy?"

He felt the back of his head. And found a nasty bump there. "I think so, mom. And I think someone hit me with a rock." Vicky no doubt.

His mother enveloped him in a tight embrace. "Oh, Timmy, I'm just glad that you're still okay.

Fanny stood up and dusted off her hands. "It would seem that the gang's all here."

The sun was now well over the horizon.