How Do You Like Them… Grapes?
Basinga Productions
Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note but… hell… I'm not really sure what I own…
Wolflink93: I thought that before Light takes down Appleology he's going to go to other places full of apples so… lets do this!
"Damn those Apples and there infernal juiciness! I can't get to sleep." Light said, throwing the pillow at the wall. Not realizing that Ryuk was there.
"Oof," Ryuk said, when the pillow slammed against his face. "What? First you throw my apple at the ground. And now you hit me in the head with a pillow. What the hell did I do to you?" He said, coughing up some feathers.
"Jeez, I'm sorry I didn't know you were there," Light said, defensively. "Don't get your panties in a knot." He commanded.
"We shinigamis don't wear panties." Ryuk stated.
"Whatever," Light said. "Wait I have an idea."
"What?" Ryuk asked.
"Let's go to the mall!" Light exclaimed, getting up to run out the door. Ryuk shrugged and followed. After Ryuk left an apple suddenly appeared on Light's desk, plotting its next move.
1 hour later…
Light and Ryuk were now inside the mall, shopping, oblivious to the apple's plans. They were both walking around looking at stores until they stopped at one unique store.
"No… fucking… way…" Light said, looking up at the store.
"Light, I'm starting to like the mall." Ryuk said, looking at the store in awe. There was a man next to the store dressed in an apple costume.
"Welcome to Applecrombe the place to get your apple based clothes." The man greeted Light, clearly hating his job. When the man said that a guy with messy black hair stepped out of the store, wearing an apple costume.
"L? What the hell are you doing here?" Light asked, confused.
"The apple is the new fashion style." L said, walking away.
"Might as well check it out." Light whispered under his breath, walking into the store. When he walked in Light was greeted with an apple to the face.
"That ones on the house," The guy at the register said, the guy was wearing an apple costume, cleaning a mug. "So, what can I get you?" he said.
"Uhm isn't this a store for clothes."
"Yes."
"Then why are you cleaning a mug?" The guy threw the glass on the ground, making glass go everywhere.
"Why do you got to ruin the mood." The guy cried, running off to the back. When the man ran off Light got a better look at the store. It was just like Applebottoms room, except the counter, where the register sat, looked like a wooden bar. And there were also the same looking apple costumes scattered around the room.
"All you would have to do is know your size and you can get your apple costume easily."Light thought to himself. Ryuk nodded his head.
"I wonder what's in the back." Ryuk wondered out loud, looking at Light with a mischievous glint in his eyes.
"No." Light said.
"Aw come on." Ryuk whined.
"No."
"Hmm," Ryuk started tapping his chin as if he were thinking. "What if I were to reveal a rule about the Death Note? Then would you do it?" Ryuk asked.
"……..Fine." Light said. There was no way Light was going to give up a chance to learn about another rule about the Death Note. Light then walked to the back with Ryuk following him. What they saw surprised not only Light but Ryuk too. There were people in apple costumes chanting "Apple". There was also a guy who Light recognized as Applebottom, also in an apple costume, on a stage, talking into a microphone.
"Welcome my brethren. We are here to discuss the matter of someone stealing my apples!" Applebottom said showing a clip on the TV behind him. It showed a picture of all the white strings. Not attached to an apple! The crowd gasped in surprise, and there was woman who screamed and fainted. Doctors came out of nowhere and kneeled next to her.
"She's low on apple!" The doctor exclaimed. "Get me some Juicy Juice!" The doctor commanded, holding out his hand. Arthur appeared out of nowhere to hand the doctor the Juicy Juice. Light, ignoring the doctors and their Juicy Juice, walked past them up to the front to get a better look of what was going on.
"I have reason to believe that one of my students did it." Applebottom said. Light looked over at Ryuk to see that he was sweating bullets. Light quirked an eyebrow at this but looked back forward to see what Applebottom had to say.
"And the last person to leave my classroom was… Light Yagami!" Applebottom yelled, showing a picture of Light on the TV screen. Everyone looked down from the screen toward Light who was in front.
"Ryuk, you owe me 5 rules now." Light said, angrily.
"Don't you think you should find a way out of this situation," Ryuk asked, still sweating. "What's the plan?" The shinigami asked.
"To get the HELL OUT OF HERE!" Light yelled, running past the mob of apple clothed people. Though since everybody was clothed in apple nobody was able to grab him with their arms. Light ran out of the store with people looking at him, like he was crazy. But they saw something even more strange. An army of apple people came flooding out of the store, screaming.
"APPLE!"
"What am I going to do!" Light screamed, flailing his arms.
"Psst, over here." A guy said in a grape costume. Light knew he had to trust the man. I mean what could be worse then getting pummeled by apple people. Light ran toward him.
"Follow me." The guy whispered, leading Light down into a wet tunnel.
"What's a tunnel doing below the mall?" Light asked.
"Where do you think they get the crack for Cocoa Puffs?"
"Oh," Light said. "Who are you?"
"I am Grapebottom." Light just looked at the man strangely.
What's up with everybody's last name ending with bottom? Light thought.
"You see us fruit people have been at war with each other." Grapebottom stated. There was silence after Grapebottom said that, until Light broke it.
"Why?" Light asked.
"It all started with a Fruit Of the Loom underwear commercial."
Flashback… Grapebottom's POV…
"Why are you always the one to get the good parts." I yelled at Applebottom. Applebottom just looked at me.
"I'm gonna event Appleology. See you later losers." Applebottom said, throwing an apple at all of the fruits.
Flashback end… Normal POV…
"And that's how it happened." Grapebottom finished explaining.
"That… doesn't make any sense." Light said.
"That's what I keep trying to tell myself," The grape clad warrior said. "Let me show you my army." He said, taking Light to a room full of grapes.
"There… just grapes." Light said, picking one up and eating it.
"Yeah… nobody really liked the grape."
"I'll say." Ryuk said, fiddling with one of the fruits. Light started to formulate a plan.
"Grapebottom, may I use these grapes?" Light asked.
"Sure, whatever." Grapebottom said, shrugging and walking away. Light smirked with a mischievous glint in his eyes.
A few hours later…
"Where the hell is that little bitch." One of the apple people said, hitting a pipe against his hand.
"Yeah!" Another said, holding a katana.
"Are we going to kill this guy?" One in the back said, worriedly.
"Pfft, no, these weapons are just to intimidate him." Applebottom said. A guy in the back accidentally stabbed someone who was walking by, eating nachos. Everybody stared at him.
"What? He startled me." The guy said.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!" Everybody looked at the back to see a guy get pelted with grapes by a mysterious figure. It was Light! He was shirtless, wore some cameo pants, and had grapes strapped around his torso. He was wielding a grape machine gun.
"Get him!" Applebottom commanded, pointing at Light, who was grinning maniacally. His army screamed and started running toward Light with their sharp objects. Light rolled out of the way and started pelting them with more grapes. Light shot one in the forehead and another in the mouth choking them to death. Light then pulled out a grenade, pulled out the pin with his teeth, then throwing it at the army screaming.
"Grape Grenade!" The grenade went off with a huge 'Splat!' the whole army except Applebottom was defeated by the powerful explosion.
"Appel carmel bites!" Applebottom screamed, throwing an Appel carmel bite from Sonic. (A/N I just saw the commercial on the TV while I was writing this. No joke!) Light countered it by throwing a grape at it making them collide in the air causing a giant explosion that shook the building. Light then pulled out a katana and jumped on the table, followed by Applebottom doing the same thing.
"This is for my apples!" Applebottom screamed.
"This is for Will Smith!" Light screamed, charging at Applebottom. There swords collided with a loud 'splat'.
Wait why when our swords clashed did they go splat? Light thought. Light ignored it but kept fighting. The battle kept going on for a while with grape juice and apple juice going all over the floor. Until Light pulled out his best move.
"Grape rape." Light said, swinging the sword with grapes coming out of it doing stuff to Applebottom. (A/N: Yeah like I would describe something like that in a fic rated T.)
"Bye world!" Applebottom screamed, dieing. Then for some reason all of the speakers in the mall played the final fantasy victory music.
"How do you like them grapes!" Light screamed, lifting Applebottoms' dead body so that they were face to face. Then suddenly, L popped out of a tile in the floor, still wearing the same apple costume, except now it said 'I'm here with stupid.'
"Light, my theory of you being Kira has gone up thirty percent." L said, pointing at Light with his left hand, while his right hand was picking his nose.
Light then woke up with a start from his bed, sweating uncontrollably. Ryuk didn't see this coming so Ryuk flipped all over the room crashing and knocking everything over.
"Wait, that was all a dream?" Light thought to himself.
"What? First, you throw my apple to the ground. Then you scare the living hell out of me. What the hell did I ever do to you?" Ryuk asked, angrily.
"But, I didn't…" Light started to say before he was interrupted by Ryuk.
"Shut up you grape man-whore." Ryuk sobbed, flying out the window in Light's room.
"Ah!" Light yelled waking up from his bed. There were guys next to his bed wearing a tuxedo, and sunglasses.
"Who are you?" Light asked, confused.
"Were here to… 'fix some things' with this show."
"What would that be?"
"You need more friendship speeches." The guy said, immediately.
"What… why?"
"Were 4 kids…," The guy began to say, moving his face towards Light's. "And were dubbing your show." he finished.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Light screamed.
"Ah!" Light screamed, waking up. Light was now holding his head with his hands, and sweating.
"Light, you alright?" Ryuk asked.
"Uh, yeah." Light said. "I just had a nightmare." He said.
"Light, time for dinner!" His mom screamed up to him. Light began to walk down stairs with Ryuk following him.
"Hey, Ryuk?" Light whispered.
"Yeah?" Ryuk said.
"Who are 4 kids?"
"I don't know, but it sounds kinda lame." Light nodded his head, walking into the kitchen. What he saw made his jaw drop.
"Light, I hope you don't mind that were having apple caramel bites for dinner." His mom said, smiling. Light's mouth was still wide opened stareing wide eyed at the table. After four minutes of complete silence his mom was about to walk up to Light to ask what was wrong, until Light beat her to the punch.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Light screamed, falling to his knees holding his head. While he was screaming Light knew one thing, Appelology had to die… But he was going to need some help. And he knew just where to get it.
To be continued…
Wolflink93: Heh I bet you didn't see that coming. I just needed to make a chapter where Light would get some resolve to face the enemy, Appelology. And please review. And if you liked this story check out my other stories Death Paper and The Adventures of L, Light'n, Larry, which are in my profile. And also i thank everyone who has reviewed this story. It means alot to me knowing that I'm doing a good job.