A Grape A Day Keeps The Apples At Bay.

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, but I do own a tub of yams.

Wolflink93: It's apple time!

"Light, its time for you to go to your doctor's appointment!" Light's mom yelled up to Light's room. There was a couple of bangs, and the clatter of papers being stuffed in a drawer.

"Okay, I'll get going right now!" Light yelled down. Light started to head down the stairs, but not seeing the apple on the third step, tripped, and fell down the stairs. Light picked up the apple.

"Curse you! Curse you to hell!" Light said to the apple. Light then threw the apple at the wall.

"Why does everyone like throwing apples at the wall!? Why can't they just give them to me!?" Ryuk yelled out loud, stressing the me part. Light then walked out of the house, getting his coat, only to see a bulge in his coat pocket.

"What the?" Light said, putting his hand in his pocket to pull out an apple. "Why can't you leave me alone!?" Light asked the apple. His mom walked in to see him yelling at an apple.

"Now, Light, remember an apple a day keeps the doctor away." His mom warned.

"An apple a day will definitely keep me away." Light replied, walking out the door, putting the apple in the trash, which was right next to the coat hanger. Light stopped near the door, turned around and got a grape from his kitchen, and walked out the door.

"Just in case." Light whispered. Ryuk just shook his head in disgust.

Light walked into the hospital and went up to the lady behind the counter who was washing a mug. The lady smiled, and put down the mug.

"How may I help you?" The lady asked.

"I'm Light Yagami and I'm here for a doctor's appointment with Mr. Tokohomo." Light said, ignoring the mug glass.

"Yes, just have a seat and we'll call you when he's ready." The lady picked up the glass, and started to wash it in the sink, which was conveniently placed right next to the Apple Inc. computer. Light nodded and sat down next to a common flu infected patient.

"Mrs. Chorale, you're next!" The lady yelled, putting the mug back down. Mrs. Chorale stood up and walked up to the counter. The lady behind the counter took a spray nozzle, from the sink, and sprayed the patient with apple juice.

"Thank you." Mrs. Chorale weakly said, with apple juice dripping off her clothes. The lady nodded and turned back to her mug. After a few minutes, Light, was called up to go to the doctor's office. Light walked in to the doctor's office, to see there was a table, and posters on the wall that read: An apple a day keeps the doctors away. The doctor was hunched over in the corner. The doctor turned around to greet Light.

"Hello, I'm Bill Nye. Mr. Tokohomo is sick today, let's get started." Bill Nye said, getting a plastic glove and putting it on with a 'snap', and then holding an apple in the now gloved hand.

"What are you going to do with that?" Light asked, nervously.

"Well, I checked you're profile and it says you haven't had an apple transplant. It keeps you from getting the common cold you know." The doctor/scientist/TV star explained. Light opened his mouth, sweating, wanting to get this over with.

"Guess again," Bill Nye said. Light's eyes slowly widened. "Now turn around." Bill commanded.

"No!" Light exclaimed. "That's just wrong!" he screamed, pulling out a grape from his pocket. Bill hissed, and tried to swat the grape away, but failed. Light ran out of the doctor's office heading toward the door, to get out. Bill Nye came out hitting a button that said apple alarm. When Light reached the door, apple boxes fell from the ceiling blocking the exit. Light ran toward the wall and tried to push forward to get out of the building. But, was unsuccessful. Light turned around to see Bill with an apple in his gloved hand, slowly walking toward Light. Light held up the grape, only for the apple security cameras to blast it with there apple lasers. Light's eyes widened in fear as Bill slowly walked toward him.

"It's okay it will only hurt for a few months." Bill explained.

"NO! Those apples are evil!" Light screamed. Light and Bill were almost face to face but before Bill could turn Light around, there was a battle cry. A figure suddenly came down from the ceiling, with a grappling hook.

"I'll save you!" The figure screamed, throwing a bottle of Sunny D. Bill Nye held up his hand to block it. But, his efforts were futile the Sunny D exploded, covering him with the vitamin C goodness.

"No, an item with a capital D in it! My only weakness!" Bill screamed, as he faded away.

"Are you okay?" The figure asked Light.

"Yes, but who are you?" Light asked, amazed.

"I… am… Sunnybottom!" Sunnybottom screamed, with a bright orange light appearing behind him, to show that it was a hairy man in a Sunny D costume, with sunglasses, and a… tan.

Another bottom guy. Light thought, annoyed by the sir names. "Well, can you get me out of here so I can go home." Light said, not amused.

"No, my Sunny D is no match for apples in boxes."

"Are you enemies with the apples?" Light asked, clearly uninterested.

"Yes we have been at war with the apples for a long time." Sunnybottom began to say. "It all started with a Sunny D commercial."

Flashback…

It was a normal commercial, Sunnybottom appears as the Sunny D bottles stunt double, it turns back to a bottle and explodes. Yup… pretty normal.

"Okay, let's get this done!" The director yelled. "ACTION!" He yelled.

"Sunny D! Sunny D! Sunny D!" The crowd chanted, watching a fight between Sunny D and a fat hairy guy.

"Belly flop!" The fat guy screamed, bouncing on his belly fat to jump into the sky. The Sunny D disappeared and was replaced by Sunnybottom. But, before the fat guy could land, Applebottom popped out of the ground and punched the fat guy away.

"Reddy D, the new flavor of Sunny D!" Applebottom yelled.

"Why do you always get the best parts!" Sunnybottom pointed out, with a bottle of Sunny D, right next to him. Applebottom stared at him.

"I'm gonna invent Appleology! See you later losers." Applebottom exclaimed, throwing an apple at Sunnybottom. After Applebottom left, the Sunny D bottle exploded.

"Nooooooo! Sunny D bottle, I will avenge your death!" Sunny D screamed, cradling the bottle in his arms, on his knees looking at the sky.

Flashback end…

"And that's how it happened." Sunnybottom said, tensing his hands.

"Dude… it's just a bottle." Light said, quirking an eyebrow. Sunnybottom grabbed Light by the shirt.

"You didn't know him like I did!" Sunnybottom sobbed. Light decided to get his next question out of the way.

"Hey, why is your name Sunnybottom?" Light asked, curious.

"Well…" Sunnybottom began to say.

Flashback…

"Push harder Mrs. D!" The doctor commanded.

"I'm trying you bitch!" Mrs. D screamed, in-between gasps of pain.

"Wahhhhhhhhhh!" A baby screamed, with a bright light emitting from his behind.

"It's a… I'm blind!" The doctor yelled, having a seizure on the ground.

"Somebody get a towel!" A nurse in the room commanded. The doctor started to drool all over the floor. "Make that two!" The nurse added. After the whole 'episode', they were somehow able to find the gender of the baby. It was a he she… Oh, wait, I mean boy. The boy was given the name… Sunnybottom. For his blinding behind.

Flashback end…

"Because… I… have… shiny…" Sunnybottom began to say, looking around. Sunnybottom spotted a person vomit out there teeth. "Teeth?" Sunnybottom finished. Light quirked an eyebrow at this, but decided against asking him.

"So, how are we going to get out?" Light asked.

"I dun knu!" Sunnybottom said, queerly. When Sunnybottom said that, the wall behind the counter fell down. There was now a fifty inch wide screen TV on the wall.

"I see you have defeated Bill Nye…" Applebottom said. "No matter… I will bring him back from the apple dimension, when he's done healing… But as for you two… there is no way out… the only way out is the door that is conveniently placed behind me… So, just try to get out… or DIE!" he screamed, signaling Appple Inc. to shut the TV off. After that announcement the TV exploded, blasting our two heroes into a hole that appeared out of nowhere.

"Go Fish." Light said, bored. Light and Sunnybottom have been falling for hours, playing Go Fish in mid air.

"Damn it!" Sunnybottom screamed, reaching for the deck of cards, with the cards apparently not scattering because of the pressure of how fast they were falling. But, before Sunnybottom could get the card, they were suddenly plunged into an apple sewer. But, they didn't land on water… They landed on something softer.

"Lemon?" A yellow fat guy said, having the air knocked out of him.

"Lime?" A green fat guy said, for the same reason. It was the Lemon-Lime brothers, spending a relaxing day, using there fat as floaties in a sewer. Lemon and Lime both carried Light and Sunnybottom to the nearby flooring. Once everyone was on land Light decided to ask a question.

"Do you guys like living in sewers?" Light asked.

"It's a great place to vacation!" Lemon and Lime exclaimed.

"Can you show us a route that would lead us to the back exit of the hospital?" Sunnybottom asked.

"Of course we know—"Lemon began to say.

"This sewer like the back of our—" Lime began to say.

"FAT!" Lemon and Lime finished. Lemon and Lime started to lead the two heroes to a ladder, that would lead up to where they were destined to go. But, before they could reach it they were attacked by a group of Apple zombies.

"Apple." An apple zombie groaned.

"Brother, it's time to unleash our secret move." Lemon said, looking over to Lime, who in turn nodded. Lime jumped over the zombies, turned around. They both took a stance that was unfamiliar to Light and Sunnybottom.

What are they doing? Light thought.

"LEMON!" Lemon yelled, glowing yellow.

"LIME!" Lime yelled, glowing green.

"BELLY BASHER!" They both screamed, charging at the zombies. They both collided together, creating a blinding yellow-green light, squeezing the zombies in-between there belly fat.

"Quick go!" Lemon and Lime screamed. Light and Sunnybottom started to climb the ladder up. Sunnybottom popped open the lid, and climbed up out of the hole, only to be pelted by apple caramel bites. Light caught his body before he could fall. Light climbed out of the hole and laid Sunnybottom's body down.

"Light, before I'm sent to the ER. I want you to have… this," Sunnybottom whispered, weakly handing Light a Sunny D bottle with a button on it. "Use this when you need it." He added.

"Hello… Light." Applebottom greeted. Light immediately pressed the button, turning the Sunny D bottle into a Sunny D bazooka.

"Whatever." Sunnybottom said, passing out. Applebottom pulled out an Apple-ray gun.

"Apple balooza!" Applebottom screamed, firing the ray. Light tried to press the trigger, but found out that the bazooka didn't have one. Light decided at the last minute to use the bazooka to block the ray. When it hit, Light could see the bazooka was vibrating from the ray's powers, making it glow a faint yellow.

That's it! Light thought, shaking the bazooka. Light it glow brighter, once it was all charged up, Light then pointed the bazooka at Applebottom.

"Shoot the power of the sun!" Light yelled, firing the yellow-orange liquid toward Applebottom. The liquid shot forth at an amazing speed.

"No, anything but Vitamin C!" Applebottom screamed, before being hit by the glowing liquid.

Light smirked. "Sekai wo bitch." Light said, coolly. Wait where did that come from? Light thought, putting the still leaking Sunny D bazooka, down.

"This is too easy." Light thought aloud. Light walked over toward Applebottom's body, only to see that it was a cardboard cut-out! Light ran toward the window to see Applebottom drive off in his Applemobile, with Apple Inc. as the driver.

"Stop right there! We have invincible guns and were not afraid to use them!" A mysterious voice commanded.

Light's eyes widened. "4kids!?" Light yelled, squinting his eyes. "You will die for dubbing even a single anime," Light screamed, turning around to look at the 4kid agents. "Is there anything you won't censor?!" Light screamed.

"We won't censor apples." They said, getting an apple out of nowhere and eating it.

"You will die for your insolence." Light said, pulling out a pen and paper. After writing something down, he put it away, and proceeded to look at his watch.

"Why are you paying so much attention to your watch?" Instead of us, 4kids?" The agents asked.

"Oh, this?" Light asked, gesturing to his watch. After a few seconds of looking at the watch he spoke. "I'm Kira."

The 4kids eyes widened. "Hurry censor! Censor! CENSOR!" The leader yelled, flailing his arms.

"3… 2… 1…" Light counted, calmly. After Light's brilliant counting, Lemon and Lime suddenly fell from the ceiling, killing the agents.

"At least censor all of this blood." The leader begged Light, showing all of the blood on his hands.

Light looked at him, and smiled. "No." Light calmly spoke. The 4kid agents' eyes slowly closed. On March 3rd 2008, at 5:53 P.M., the 4kids were killed, by a fat accident. Light walked over toward the door, exhausted, and opened the door slowly. He walked out slowly, with a limp in his pace.

"Damn, Light, that was pretty brutal." Ryuk said, impressed.

"Yeah, Ryuk. Let's go home." Light said, limping out toward the sunset, followed by Ryuk. Though Light was not able to defeat Appleology, he was able to defeat the nuisance called 4kids. And what happened to Sunnybottom you ask? He was in the hospital for months. Apparently he was allergic to apple… And so begins the rebellion against… APPLEOLOGY! And remember a grape a day keeps the apples at bay… but, Sunny D works good to.

Wolflink93: Here you go people I hope you like it. And as for the winner for the contest it was That Random Person. And also everybody please review. And also check out the video parody that me an Renodin made titled Death Note, What Really Happened! Please leave a comment on it since it's our first Death Note Video Parody. But, leave the comment on the video on Youtube, if you have an account. If you don't then you can leave a comment on it here if you wish. The link is in my profile.