Sometimes, Jess wished that she spent her time with more Slytherins. Really, all these Hufflepuff's and Ravenclaw's and Gryffindor's were just too...nice. No one wanted to get revenge with her. No one wanted to plot with her. No one wanted to do anything with her because supposedly it was all too mean.

Take Frank for example. She had given him the chance of a lifetime: he could get the girl he'd been in love with for however long, and she would get Paul. It was a wonderful plan. It was fool-proof. It was–

"I don't know," Frank said.

–as always, too mean.

Jess pulled her entire body away from him. "What do you mean, you don't know?" she asked, incredulous. "I'm giving you the chance of a lifetime! I'm giving you Alice."

"But..." He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face and looking her in the eyes. "I don't want her to want me like that."

Jess rolled her eyes. "Let me guess. You want her to want to want you."

Frank nodded.

"Get over it, buddy!" she yelled. He jerked back. She held her arms out to emphasize her point. "You take what you can get. You want Alice. You can get Alice."

"But how do you know?" he asked. "Would it actually work?"

She sighed. It was always so hard explaining things to newbies. "It will work. I have done this time and time again. It's worked in the past, it will work now, and it will forever, no matter the circumstances, always work."

Frank weighed his options. He didn't want to get together with Alice unless she wanted to get together with him. But...at the same time...this was what he'd always wanted. Could he really pass that opportunity up? "What if she found out?" he asked.

"She's not going to find out," Jess snapped. Frank shuffled his feet and she sighed, her face softening. "She won't find out," she repeated. "I promise. Now...are you in, or are you out?"

He looked at her. "I'm in," he said firmly.

—x—

"Do you think this will actually make what it's supposed to make?" Robert asked, dropping a few clover leaves into the brewing potion. Eliza watched as he did so, stirring the potion counter-clock wise.

"Three, four, five," she said. "Hopefully. We're not horrible at this, are we? Eight, nine, ten..."

"I don't know." He squinted down at the potion. "I think I see one of your hairs."

Eliza nudged her shoulder against his. "Shut up, you baboon. Thirteen."

"I'm serious!" he cried. "It's blonde and long and girly."

"Cute," Eliza replied sarcastically. "Twenty. There." She took the spoon out and placed it across the top of the cauldron. "Now what?"

Robert ran his finger down the directions. "Now..." he said. "We leave it for twenty-four hours."

"That's it?"

"For now."

Eliza shuffled awkwardly, zipping up her case with her potion ingredients. "That was pretty easy," she commented, throwing her case into her bag.

Robert shut the books spread across his bed. "Yeah, it was." He turned to her and grinned. "As long as it doesn't blow up in the middle of the night."

"Well, if it does, it's on you," Eliza responded, throwing her bag on her shoulder and shrugging nonchalantly.

Robert smiled, shaking his head. "Guess it is. So, we'll, uh...meet here tomorrow?" he asked.

Eliza nodded. "Same time, same place."

"Great," he replied.

They stood on their opposite sides of the room awkwardly, Robert looking down at his shoes while Eliza looked out the window. "Right," she said eventually, "I guess I'll get going."

"Right," he repeated. "Guess so."

She shuffled her way over to him quickly, wrapping her arms around him in a quick hug. Before he could respond, she pulled away, planting a kiss on his cheek, and fled the room.

"Bye," he said to the empty room, sitting himself down on the bed slowly.

—x—

Trish slipped herself underneath her covers. The only light that was left on in the dorm was the light from the bathroom shining out at them from underneath the door. Gretchen and Kara were having a whispered conversation from their beds as the rest of the girls settled in for bed. It wasn't long before Gretchen and Kara quieted down as well, and the room was silent save for the girls shuffling in their beds.

Trish could not sleep. She had been the one to suggest they go to bed, but she wasn't tired. The night kept whirling its way around in her head.

These girls were nice girls. Throughout her entire Hogwarts career, she'd spent her time with Jess, Eliza, and Mandy because she'd been under the impression that these girls were all washed up beauty pageant winners. The thing was, they were far from it. She felt horrible for assuming they were.

The room was now completely quiet. There was no mumbling or snoring or breathing deeply.

"Are you awake?" a voice whispered out of the darkness.

Trish squinted. "Helen?" she whispered back.

There was some shuffling before she felt something fall onto her bed. If she strained her eyes, it made the shape of a human. "Yeah, it's me," it answered quietly. "I wanted to talk to you."

"About what?" Trish asked. "It's late."

"Well, you haven't fallen asleep yet," Helen accused. "You were the one who said you were tired."

Trish sat up fully, squirming in the discomfort of Helen's accusation. "So?"

"I just want to talk to you," Helen insisted.

"Okay, shoot."

Helen hesitated. Trish watched as a hand reached up to twirl her hair around her finger. "You know what I said about Benjy?" she asked.

"Yes."

"You're really not thinking of doing anything with him, are you?"

Trish shook her head. "Helen, I told you no before."

Helen shifted. "I know, but I wanted to make sure that you weren't just saying that in front of the rest of the girls."

"Well, I wasn't," Trish answered. "Nothing's going to happen."

"Okay," Helen breathed out. "Good."

"Why?" Trish asked. She squinted at Helen. "Did...did something happen with you and Benjy?"

—x—

The two sat in a terse silence. Mandy knew that his jibe about her cup-size wounded her ego, and she was sure that her comment had the same effect on him. But this silence was killing her. They'd had to have been sitting on this grimy floor–did they ever clean?–for at least twenty minutes.

"Why haven't they come back yet?" she asked. Her voice seemed loud after the silence.

"Remus eats like a horse," he mumbled, not bothering to pick his head up from his arms. "And Pete and James can get carried away."

"Isn't the phrase, could eat a horse, not eats like a horse?"

He didn't answer.

They sat in silence for a few more minutes before she finally cracked.

"Alright," she said, rubbing her hands together with nerves. "Alright, if we never get out of here, I've got a confession to make."

Sirius slowly lifted his head from his arms. "What?" he asked tonelessly.

"I, um," she started slowly. "Well..."

"Out with it," he pushed.

She shot him a look. "Fine. Only the girls know this about me, so you better consider yourself lucky because they only know because we grew up together and this has never left my mouth before, but...my middle name is Joanna."

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Joanna?" he asked. "That's your confession?"

"And my Mum calls me MJ," she continued in a rush. "like in Spiderman."

Now he looked amused. He let out a bark of a laugh. "MJ," he tried out. He grinned at her. "Classic."

"It's not funny," Mandy protested. "It's a family name."

Sirius shrugged. "Hey, who am I to judge?"

She hesitated before asking, "What's yours?"

"Orion."

"Ugh!" she cried out. "That's not even embarrassing!"

—x—

Jess tiptoed her way into her dorm. It was a bit late and all her Slytherin roommates were asleep. Jess attempted to crawl under her covers and get some shut eye herself, but she had far too much energy to be able to sit still.

Frank had yes. After much persuading, he had finally given in. And now all she had to do was put the plan into motion. It wouldn't be too hard, either: a few rumors here, a lie there, and voila. Instant break-up. Instant Paul.

It was then she fell asleep with a smile on her face.

—x—

Trish watched as Helen fidgeted. In the shallow lighting, all she could tell was that Helen looked a bit uncomfortable. But just as Trish opened her mouth to assure Helen she didn't need to tell her, Helen started talking.

"That's a bit of an understatement," Helen mumbled. At Trish's confused look, Helen elaborated. "We...God, how do you phrase this? Before school ended last year, Benjy and I...had sex." It seemed that the words were being forced out of her lips. "I went home over the summer, and we were over, and..."

Trish laid a hand on Helen's leg in comfort. Her stomach was in knots about what she was sure was about to leave Helen's lips.

"I had to have an abortion," Helen whispered. Her voice was thick with emotion while Trish sucked in a breath. "My parents..." A sob shook through her but she plowed on in her story. "They were really disappointed in me. They thought I was going to wait until marriage. And they knew I couldn't have it, couldn't have my baby." Helen lifted a hand to cover her mouth. "I just wish that I...I could've..."

She couldn't get words out anymore. Trish pushed herself up to envelope Helen in a hug while she cried quietly, trying not to wake the rest of their dorm.

—x—

"Tell me something embarrassing," Mandy demanded.

Sirius put his pointer and middle finger to his lips in thought. "Uhhh..." His eyes locked with hers. "Once, when I was drunk, I felt up Peter."

Mandy almost choked but instead blurted out, "My first kiss was with Poopy Teddy Porter."

"I sucked my thumb until I was thirteen."

"My brother caught me practicing kissing on my knee."

"James's mum thinks I'm gay."

Mandy erupted in laughter. "I'm sorry," she gasped. "I thought I could handle it after the Peter thing but–" She clutched her side as her merriment continued.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, MJ," he grumbled with a small smile.

"Why does she think you're gay?" Mandy asked, ignoring the jibe at her name.

"Well, I've been living there since Fifth Year." She nodded–it was common knowledge. "And I haven't brought a girl back to meet her." He shrugged. "Add that to the fact that I'm a 'pretty boy'–her words, not mine, and you get–"

"Gay," Mandy finished.

Sirius nodded.

"Well what about her own son? He obviously hasn't either, has he?"

He shook his head. "He never shuts up about Lily. Originally, they thought it was some kind of anagram, but then they met her at the Platform once. They still have doubts about her femininity, though."

Mandy laughed. "His parents are crazy."

"Yeah, well, where do you think James got it from?"

"And you?" she teased.

He grinned. "Association."

She laughed, shaking her head.

"What about you?" he asked, scooting over so that he could sit cross-legged across from her. "Does your mother think you're a lesbian?"

"No," she answered with a smile. "Though she does think I need to get laid."

Sirius practically choked on his air. "What?" he gasped.

"I'm serious," she declared, grinning. "For the same reason James's mum thinks you're gay. No boys coming to knock the door down. And then she says I hang out with girls too much. I need to hang out with a real man and see what he can do."

Sirius was cackling by this time, rolling onto his back in laughter. Mandy joined in.

"I swear she'd set me up with my own brother if she could," she added.

"Well, does she know?" he asked, looking up at her from his sprawled spot on the grimy floor.

"Know what?"

"That you're not a virgin."

"Wh–what?"