Here is Chapter five. I hope you like. Please review, even flames. I don't care what you sya. Just Say It!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Wizards of Waverly Place.

Momomonkey

Chapter five

EDWARD POV

I listened as Bella explained a story version of one of my most unforgettable memories. Sure it was scary at first, but at the end, knowing it was all over, made me unable to forget. Her silent tears rolled down her burning orange eyes. They were turning into a soft yellow now; she only had 2 moths until they were different. Her lips were white as they pursed into a strait line.

Everyone was giving remarks to the story.

"But why kill the innocent?"

I listened as Rose explained the legend of the curse.

This is horrible! I don't want the volturi to come! Not here, not now! Esme.

Why does it have to be Theresa? Why, why, why? Alice.

I hate the volturi, those smothering snobs! Emmet

I wonder if I can lick my elbow… Max. I frowned. Why would he want to lick his elbow right now? Never mind.

Why is that white guy frowning at me?

How, hoo, hee, hoe, ALEX! (Guess who that is!)

What about my toes? Can I swallow my toes?

This better not lead to a fight.

All these thoughts surrounded me. Each one coming, not even one at a time. No one knows how I felt about these thoughts. Tiresome. I wanted them to stop coming at me. Like a curse of my own. Esme explained the plan. We split up, searching for her. The Russo's would stay here. It was too much of a risk. But the one, Max bugged me. He always thought random thoughts

The volturi will probably come. What will we do? Will this lead to a fight?

"Carlisle, Esme, go find her. Try to calm her down. If it doesn't work, send Esme back; keep her distracted as much as you can. Jasper, Emmet, you are the back-up. Rose, Alice, if they don't come back with her after 10 minutes, go out to help. Bella and I will stay here to protect the Russo family in case she gets here without you guys spotting her." They all nodded as I told them their positions. Carlisle and Esme sprinted to Alex. Following her scent.



Time went by, after maybe 15 minutes, I heard Esme sprinting back. Bella went to the cottage for a while to check on Esme and Jacob. When she came back, she was confused. She opened her mouth to speak, but then she stopped. "Never mind." She had obviously figured it out. I bet she wasn't paying much attention to my group plans.

We started making conversations. We started doing something that we did years ago. The 50 questions and answers. We thought of the same ones we did years ago. Because they might've changed. It my turn, as I commanded.

"Ok, umm…" I thought for a while. Then I remembered one of the originals that I asked.

"Favorite Color?"

"……………….. Pearl."

"Favorite Soda?" Bella thought for a while. I was waiting, patiently when she finally said,

"Mountain Due."

"Favorite Type of Drink besides Soda?"

"Milk."

"Favorite type of milk?"

"2 BLUE."

"Favorite Gemstone?" That was one that she froze at, instead of bouncing while thinking.

"Or is it still the same as last time?" I joked. Remembering that last time I came t her so fast that she thought of the first word that came to her mind. It was Topaz. The color of my eyes at the time.

"No, I still LOVE topaz, but I think I will change the answer.

"Then answer it then!" I said. Un-aware that I said 'then' twice.

"Ok. Uh," She thought for a while, "Emerald." I stared at her. She knew what the next question was. Then she groaned.

"Why is it emerald today?" I asked, like a waiter saying, "What would you like today?"

"Let's think. I don't favor green, but I have been daydreaming about that beautiful gem."

"Were did you see the gem?"

"Renesmee and Jacob's betrothal rings."

"Guess that is new." I murmured. "Yeah, and he made it by himself. He made one for himself; he made the ring out of dark, strong wood. He polished it, too. He made a replica for Renesmee, except the wood was Ebony. He polished that one, too. He carved little wolf patterns on the wood before he polished it for both of them. The carvings were filled with silver. I guess he got some help from Billy or something. The wood part went beautifully with the necklace. You know the one that he made maybe a few months ago. And it looked like a professional made it too, except with the home made twist of beauty," She said with every detail, looking at the charms that Jake and I made for her charm bracelet on her wrist. Jake's, of a wolf. Carved almost professionally out of wood. Mine, made out of white, cold marvel. This said "ME" All over it.

"Must've been pretty," I thought of the rings. Homemade and everything.

"So, is it my turn?" She asked.

"Go ahead," I rolled my eyes. Bella will be Bella, Vampire or not.

"What is your-

The doors were knocked open. We saw a girl with red eyes, and blood all over her face. She started looking like the people at the end of haunted house, yelling out, "WERE ARE YOU GOING SWEETHEARTS? THERE IS NO WAY OUT! WA HAHAHA!" (By the way, I found that on YouTube) And the host that takes you through will go outside, and lock you in as a joke. Alex's eyes were piercing red, her face as pale as ever. Her hair had blood stains all over it. Her clothes were smothered in blood, and slightly ripped.

"Alex!" Mr. Russo shouted. What happened to her?

"Wow, Alex, you look horrible!" Max shouted. We all turned to him and said, "SHHHH!" What? Why are they shhh-ing me? Hey, can my tongue touch my nose? I frowned again.

What is that smell? She bared her teeth. Then she ran towards Theresa.

Noooo!

Every one ran out of the way. Alex crouched down in an attack position. Then she pounced.

Momomonkey: And now it is time for the Dumb Blonde show! Here is your host, Jacob Black!

Jacob: Ok, today we have Tanya for the Blonde Joke!

Tanya: ok, I have one question, why am I here?

Jacob: (Ignoring her) If a blonde and brunette both jumped off a cliff, who would hit the ground first?

Tanya: (Puzzled) don't they hit the ground at the same time?

Jacob: No, the brunette hits it first.

Tanya: Why?

Jacob: Because the blonde had to stop to ask for directions!

Tanya: (Wrinkles her face) that doesn't make sense.

Jacob: Pushes her off the front of the stage. (Waits for the thump look down)

Tanya: Excuse me sir witch way is down-

Jacob: HA!

CURTAIN CLOSES

Tanya: Town? (Shrugs, walks off stage)

Momomonkey: Ok, remember people, you can make your own blonde person! It can be anything you want! Send or review it here! Make your own tricks or blonde jokes! Send or Review it here, too!

PS. If you think that wasn't funny, the main point was how stupid Jake can come to be.

Did you like it? If you did, please REVIEW! I would love you for it. I favorite you! Just reiew me, flame me, whatever!